It Was Not Me

It was not me as I am now.
It was not me as I was then.
It was then when God was truly in me.
When God was in me, I was a young man.
A young man with hope, will and desire.
Desire to give my love and the gift of God to the ones in need.
You see, that was me.

Thus, it was not me who hurt you so,
But it was me as I was then.
It was then when God was not in me.
That is when I hurt you though.

Now I can really see it was not me, who scarred you so.
Your innocence, your trust in me, the weak moment in your life,
Was abused by me.
But that was not really me.

You have to see it was not me as I was before,
Or as I am now,
Or as I will ever be.
No! It was not me!
It was he who was not me.
It was he who will never be me.
It was he and me who hurt you so.
No! It was not really me, who hurt you.

I hear you say that it was not you who hurt me so.
You said it was not you
Who stole my innocence,
Who stole my love for life,
Who stole my respect for myself.
You said it was not you who hurt me so.

I was only a boy, ten-year-old boy when my parents abused me so.
I was weak, sad and confused.
I was hurt by someone I loved and trusted so.

I came to you to help me heal.
I came to you because God told me to.
I came to you because you said God was in you.
I came to you because I trusted you more than I trusted mysel
I came to you because perfection of love was in you.
Yes, I came to you.

Your loving tone of voice made me trust you even more.
You listened to me like no one had before.
Your touch was gentle, soft and warm.
Your touch made me feel that I was in a safe place.
Your compassion made me feel the healing in me.
Your soft gaze told me you were the God-sent man.
The man God sent to help me and others like me.

When you put me on your lap, you gave me a hug.
A hug of love, that was doubt-free.
Transcendence in me took all the pain away.
I felt safe because of you.
I felt loved once again because of you.
I felt I was a good little boy because of you.
A good boy who deserved all the goodness in the world;
A good boy with a bright future ahead of him.

But when you put your hands in my pants,
I got confused, but did not refuse to do the same to you.
For it was you who told me then:
"My sweet child you are safe here.
You are safe when you are with me.
You are loved by God in me.
It is God who sent you here,
It is God who wants you to trust me.
So my little boy do trust God in me;
And do what feels good to you."

It was you who said that the God in you
Was loving, and that He knew what's good for me.
And that God in you wants me to please you.
And by pleasing you I'll be pleasing God;
And by pleasing God my pain will go away.

But you did not say that by you touching me that way,
And by me doing the same to you will harm me even more.
You did not say that all this would destroy me so.
You did not say that your love was a lie.
You did not say that you were an evil man.
You did not say that what was in you was not really God,
But the opposite of Him.

Now that I am a grown man,
I know that trusting you was a mistake,
And an error I made.
A mistake and error with irreversible consequences.
The consequences that brought pain in me even more.
The pain, turmoil and darkness in me is now too much for me to endure.

Now you can see why I must go;
Why I must go to a pain-free place.
For the pain in me is unbearable.
Thus, I must go to a secret place,
A place of no return.

Oh my son, please do not go,
There is still hope for you.
Oh my son, it was not me who hurt you so.
Oh my son it was not me as I am now;
It was not me who injured you so.
It was he who was not me when the true God was in me.
Oh my son, please do not go.
There is still hope for you.
It was not me who hurt you so.
Oh my son, please do not go.

ZORA TEOFILOVIC

---

Google News Updated : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:07:30 GMT A pair of Coens might as well be one at Toronto - Reuters Canada.com A pair of Coens might as well be one at Toronto Reuters - 53 minutes ago By Janet Guttsman TORONTO (Reuters) - There is a reason they are called the Coen Bros., and not Joel Coen and Ethan Coen: they might as well be one person. Pitt Rocks to Madonna FOXNews The Coens’ Funny Bones Newsweek The Associated Press - People Magazine - Los Angeles Times - The Gossip Girls all 165 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:13:38 GMT Mozilla updates Firefox 3.1 with Alpha 2 build - Computerworld PR Web (press release) Mozilla updates Firefox 3.1 with Alpha 2 build Computerworld - 52 minutes ago By Gregg Keizer September 6, 2008 (Computerworld) Mozilla Corp. on Friday launched the second alpha of Firefox 3.1, adding new video support and boosting the speed of some JavaScript computations. Chrome's JavaScript challenge to Silverlight CNET News NetSuite Says Chrome-optimized Apps Are Flying PC World CRN - Financial Times - InformationWeek - Hindu all 214 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:15:17 GMT Rosetta spacecraft takes asteroid photos - United Press International Washington Post Rosetta spacecraft takes asteroid photos United Press International - 34 minutes ago PARIS, Sept. 6 (UPI) -- The Rosetta spacecraft has captured images of an asteroid in orbit more than 220 million miles from Earth, a European Space Agency official says. European space probe completes asteroid fly by Reuters Spacecraft flies by remote asteroid, camera stops The Associated Press Detroit Free Press - Sky & Telescope - Taipei Times - AFP all 547 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:33:25 GMT Stunner - Alex Smith listed as doubtful - San Francisco Chronicle Stunner - Alex Smith listed as doubtful San Francisco Chronicle - 47 minutes ago The 49ers just called and said quarterback Alex Smith is "doubtful" for tomorrow's season-opener against the visiting Cardinals. 49ers QB Smith doubtful for Sunday Rotoworld.com Alex Smith injures shoulder, doubtful for Sunday Sacramento Bee Contra Costa Times all 10 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:20:25 GMT Rejuvenated Federer Overpowers Djokovic to Reach Final - New York Times USA Today Rejuvenated Federer Overpowers Djokovic to Reach Final New York Times - 47 minutes ago By LIZ ROBBINS Roger Federer was acing like old times - up the middle, out wide, serving up even more frustration for the snarling Novak Djokovic. Federer tames Djokovic to reach final Washington Post Federer rolls into another US Open final Sports Network The Associated Press - New York Daily News - SportingNews.com - Bloomberg all 3,163 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:19:52 GMT Obama and McCain to Make Joint Sept. 11 Visit to Ground Zero - Washington Post Telegraph.co.uk Obama and McCain to Make Joint Sept. 11 Visit to Ground Zero Washington Post - 2 hours ago By Michael D. Shear COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. -- John McCain and Barack Obama announced today that they will visit Ground Zero in New York on Thursday to mark the seventh anniversary of the 9-11 attacks that brought down the Twin Towers. McCain's new cast of thousands, all unknown Boston Globe Liking McCain pick, but not McCain Packet Online Financial Times - Chicago Sun-Times - OpEdNews - Philadelphia Inquirer all 1,345 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 17:48:49 GMT US Jobless Rate Climbs Past 6%, Highest Since ’03 - New York Times US Jobless Rate Climbs Past 6%, Highest Since ’03 New York Times - 18 hours ago By LOUIS UCHITELLE The unemployment rate jumped to 6.1 percent in August, its highest level in five years, pushing the troubles of American workers to the center of the political debate as the presidential campaign enters its final weeks. Jobless rate at 5-year high Reuters Unemployment, mortgage delinquencies soar in worrisome sign for ... San Jose Mercury News Los Angeles Times - ABC News - Detroit Free Press - Financial Times all 401 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 02:04:03 GMT Rss Feed Reader Increased Website Traffic

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Footprints to Mantaro Valley (a poem in Spanish and English)

Footprints to Mantaro Valley (English version)In what retreat art hid?-Where... Read More

Africa

AFRICA (to africans in diaspora)africa here i come, africa africa... Read More

Blind Designs [a Poem] and a Note by Rosa on The Other Door

Blind DesignsBorn today, gone tomorrow Like a butterfly with no... Read More

Im Sorry Mom! A Mothers Day Poem

Mother's Day Poetry,I'm Sorry Mom!I'm sorry for the troubles ... Read More

The Cat

Truth is stranger than fiction according to many people who... Read More

Exalted Poetry; Two poem [and commentary]

Bells for Belphegor!...Where immortal veils never meet Belphegor, Arch devil... Read More

Four Poems: Grendels Nature...the Racetrack...Counting days...[Now in English and Spanish]

English Version1) Grendel's DivorceYou must know that I do not... Read More

Little Girl from Huancayo [a poem/in English and Spanish]

Little girl from HuancayoDo you really, really know? Just how... Read More

I Saw the Universe

I can see the cerulean blue of the skiesOr the... Read More

Robert Burns Love Poem: A Red, Red Rose

Robert Burns, a poor man, an educated man, and a... Read More

Elizabeth Barrett Browning: A Discussion of How Do I Love Thee?

"How Do I Love Thee?" by Elizabeth Barrett Browning was... Read More

Song of the Great Zimbabwe, and Silver and Inca Blood [Poems and notes]

"Song of the Great Zimbabwe"Across the African, winter's skyIn the... Read More

Man Unbowed [A poem]

Man UnbowedUnbowed by sin, the world of man, stands Upon... Read More

Growing

Growing hurts sometimes; saying goodbye to friends, ... Read More

Ceasar Vallejo: Black Roses [In English and Spanish]

Cesar Vallejo: Black RosesBow down your head ol' poet- To... Read More

Rocks

Take some time to stop and look at nature. Pick... Read More

Farewell to Lester Graybill

I never met a man, who could shake my hand,... Read More

Ocean Heal Me

Ocean Heal MeOcean heal my wounds Let your waves curl... Read More

Since Youve Been Gone...

My life has changedin so so many waysIt seems to... Read More

Eds Poem

Ed Gallagher Dec. 11, 1907 - Sept. 5, 2004This poem... Read More

Kens Poem

How wonderfully sweet to be a dweller dwelling... Read More

The Crusader: A Search for the Virtue Inside (an excerpt of an Epic Poem)

On through the darkness she searches the bones Seeking the... Read More

Thank You To Our Soldiers And A Tribute To Old Glory And A Prayer For Peace

Thank youDedicated to soldiers and their loved onesFor those who... Read More

Our Home

Our home was warm in the shade of the trees... Read More

The Merchant of Copan [In English and Spanish]

English VersionThe Merchant of Copan [480 AD]Advance: The ballgame at... Read More