Risky Business: You May Not be as Daring as You Think

I thought I was through with exams when I finished college. Then my financial adviser (a.k.a. stockbroker) had me take a test to measure my tolerance for risk. He said, there were no right or wrong answers, but I knew better.

Once I had taken a personality test when I was in career transition (a.k.a. unemployed). My counselor had said the same thing, "There is no right or?," but when he told me my score he noted it was on the edge of the bell curve - the wrong edge. My need for acceptance by others was high; so high that I could not confront a taxi driver who gave me zero change from a $10 bill, on a $4.50 fare.

I was very leery of taking this "risk-tolerance profile." As I expected the questions showed that I was a total "wuss." (In Pittsburgh, if you're 15 and a guy it means you always cover your ears in winter).

A typical question; if your portfolio dropped 21.8 percent in one year, would you:

a. Sell all your equities?

b. Sell 1/3 of your equities and buy intermediate-term, tax-free municipals?

c. No change, staying the course?

I selected 'c' not because I believed in my strategy but out of total fear.

And yet deep down, when it came to the important things in life I felt that I was a risk-taker. I could be as much a risk-taker as an F-16 fighter pilot or a New York City undercover cop. However, no test ever asked the real important questions of life, the kind of questions that affected my daily reality. Questions like:

You have to drive to the airport. You get in your car, turn on the engine, and the gas gauge is on "E." Do you: a) immediately fill up, b) drive to the airport but don't put on the air conditioning, or c) drive back and forth without ever looking at the gas gauge again. OK, now lets add some real risk to the above question. What is your answer assuming your spouse is in the car with you?

Now let's deal with food instead of hedge funds. For example, for breakfast you like your bagels dark but definitely not burned. You've just put a bagel in the toaster, and it is just not dark enough. You put it in the toaster again, just nudging the dial to the optimum position, taking into consideration the heat already generated and the level of darkness around the edges of the bagel. As you wait for your bagel, do you: a) stand there staring at the bagel, b) let the dog out, c) get your newspaper from the driveway and check the Knicks score.

How would your answer change if it were your last bagel?

Now lets deal with the most risky part of life - relationships: Its 11:30 p.m., Thanksgiving Eve; your wife is exhausted, having cooked the 24-pound turkey and the rest of the food. She asks you to place the turkey in the fridge in the basement. She reminds you of last year's fiasco when you forgot to refrigerate the bird. Do you: a) do it immediately; run upstairs to report to her that you completed the task. You then return to the basement to ensure that you have closed the fridge door, b) leave a note for your teenage son to do it when he comes in after midnight.

Now for extra credit. You get a call from your high-school sweetheart. She asks to meet you for coffee in an hour. Do you: a) decline and tell you wife about the call, b) decline and not tell you wife about the call, c) ask your son if you can borrow his mousse. You get the idea. On this kind of test, I would score very high.

I figure once I fine-tune my questions, I could use this kind of questionnaire to screen professionals trying to give me advice. For example, my internist wants me to come in to review the results of my prostate exam and to discuss the different options and the risks involved with each course of action. I may surprise him and ask him to complete my questionnaire first. I want to see what kind of risk-taker he is.

P.S. My stockbroker just took my exam. He failed. I am looking for a new broker. Any recommendations?

Hesh Reinfeld writes a syndicated business humor column. You can read additional examples of his columns on his website: http://www.heshreinfeld.com Or contact him at hesh1@comcast.net

---

Google News Updated : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 14:06:59 GMT MTV's VMAs: DOA? - E! Online MTV's VMAs: DOA? E! Online - 34 minutes ago MTV's Video Music Awards are this weekend, and we're lukewarm on the whole affair. Russell Brand as the host? We've only seen this Brit bloke once before, in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which feels like eons ago, and those VMA commercials costarring ... Kanye West to Close Video Music Awards New York Times Russell Brand looks to make big splash as VMA host Boston Herald eFluxMedia - ABC News - Singersroom News - Columbus Dispatch all 1,185 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 13:32:57 GMT Palins on move The Palin story . . . - Chicago Sun-Times ABC News Palins on move The Palin story . . . Chicago Sun-Times - 4 hours ago Sarah Palin and her hubby, Todd, went separate ways Thursday night after John McCain's speech. • • To wit: While Sarah Palin headed with McCain to Cedarburg, Wisc. Poll on Palin: GOP likes her, Dems don't Houston Chronicle Sarah Palin will be missing from action Sunday am Los Angeles Times Lawrence Journal World - Austin American-Statesman - ABC News - San Francisco Chronicle all 1,406 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 09:07:37 GMT Serena, Jankovic will duel in final - Boston Globe ESPN Serena, Jankovic will duel in final Boston Globe - 6 hours ago By Cindy Shmerler NEW YORK - Maybe someone put a Whoopie Cushion on Richard Williams's chair. Because there he was, jumping up and down after every point, high-fiving everyone around him. Video: Serena Williams Tries for 3rd US Open Title AssociatedPress Williams has edge in semis Washington Times Washington Post - Bob Larson Tennis News - Sports Network - Houston Chronicle all 4,138 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 07:34:34 GMT Use of 'Barracuda' for Sarah Palin nets GOP a Heart attack - New York Daily News Use of 'Barracuda' for Sarah Palin nets GOP a Heart attack New York Daily News - 11 hours ago BY NANCY DILLON They put the "amp" in campaign and get voters tapping their toes to the ballot box - but hit songs can be tricky territory for political campaigns. Heart Wants To Be Ripped Out Of Republicans’ Campaign eFluxMedia Wilson sisters slam GOP's use of Heart's "Barracuda" Seattle Times E! Online - TMZ.com - San Francisco Chronicle - Boston Globe all 186 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 02:19:34 GMT McCain pledges change, touts experience in convention address - Detroit Free Press Telegraph.co.uk McCain pledges change, touts experience in convention address Detroit Free Press - 3 hours ago ST. PAUL, Minn. -- Preaching a message of bipartisanship and insisting he's the man to throw the "me-first, country-second" crowd out of Washington, a buoyant John McCain steered his Straight Talk Express into its biggest berth ever Thursday night ... Video: McCain Vs. Obama: Got Change? AssociatedPress Reuters Politics Summary Washington Post BBC News - Financial Times - Christian Science Monitor - New York Daily News all 1,491 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 10:41:29 GMT Dell May Shrink Its Network of Factories - New York Times DailyTech Dell May Shrink Its Network of Factories New York Times - 11 hours ago By STEVE LOHR Dell, in a government filing this week, strongly suggested that it planned to shrink its network of factories as part of the computer company’s drive to reduce costs. Dell Trades Factories For Money Forbes WSJ: Dell could sell off Winston-Salem plants Bizjournals.com guardian.co.uk - Wall Street Journal - Seeking Alpha - Bloomberg all 239 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 02:57:22 GMT NetSuite Says Chrome-optimized Apps Are Flying - PC World eFluxMedia NetSuite Says Chrome-optimized Apps Are Flying PC World - 16 hours ago It was in line with the likelihood of summer following spring that somebody would declare an application optimized for Google's Chrome, the new web browser that has dominated the geekier end of technology news this week. Google Chrome Hit With Another Security Bug CRN NetSuite boasts of Google Chrome support CNET News eFluxMedia - Financial Times - Waukegan News Sun - Motley Fool all 206 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 21:39:42 GMT RSS Feed Reader Web Site Traffic

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Resources to Help You Learn About and Protect Yourself from Identity Theft

There is a new bill that is being passes, it... Read More

Know Thy Finances

The first step to financial success lies in knowing your... Read More

Im Broke, How Can I Afford...

I'm still amazed every time someone comes to me complaining... Read More

Do You Really Need the Power of Money Management Software?

I have been a loyal user of Quicken(R) for more... Read More

Live Green; Save Green!

Have you seen the recent article on a new "green"... Read More

Accessing Funds You Never Knew You Had- Household Utilities and Mortgage Expense Reduction Plan

For most of us the process of getting out of... Read More

Budgeting Tips to Save Real Money

Sticking to a budget can be difficult, but with so... Read More

Planning Ahead with Your Finances

If you, like most people, have not seriously considered what... Read More

Budgeting -- The Critical Flaw That Causes Most Budgets to Fail

Budgeting. It's a word we're all familiar with. Everyone knows... Read More

Want Your Savings to Earn a Higher Rate of Return? Try Internet Banking

Doesn't it seem like the only impressive numbers we've seen... Read More

5 Ways to Absolutely Destroy Your Finances!

Ben Stein has a book called How to Ruin Your... Read More

Bankruptcy Laws Get Tougher - More Expensive

If you've been thinking about filing for bankruptcy, your best... Read More

5 Steps to Healthy Spending Habits

Next to our physical health most of us are primarily... Read More

Budgets And Eating - Can They Co-Exist?

Whatever your reason for having a tight budget, the truth... Read More

Why Live Frugally

What is it about being frugal, why do it at... Read More

Budgeting Before Buying

With interest rates being at an all-time low, I can... Read More

Personal Loans For Homeowners ? One Of The Numerous Rewards For Being A Homeowner

You no longer look at the pictures of homes cause... Read More

Check Facts and Figures

Are you a check fanatic? Don't worry, you aren't alone.... Read More

First Checking Account ? When is it Time?

We all know that money doesn't grow on trees, but... Read More

Benefits of Personal Finance Software

In this age of information, keeping track of your finances... Read More

How to Save Money in a Grocery Store

Now there are ways to save money in the grocery... Read More

Identity Theft is a Major Problem: Whose Responsibility is It to Protect the Consumer?

We have heard a lot about consumers' personal information getting... Read More

Money Matters - Really!

One of the biggest challenges facing black RELATIONSHIPS today are... Read More

Do You Know What Tomorrow Will Bring?

I've been sharing the following idea with people for a... Read More

Improving Your Financial Position

If you want money you need to learn how to... Read More