Working Moms vs. Stay-at-Home Moms, Lets Stop Debating Each Other and Debate the System Instead!

I could nearly fund my children's future education if I received money every time I've heard a woman say, "I wish I could afford to stay at home full time." Sometimes you can recognize a few working women making this statement to avoid judgment from the stay-at-home parenting world (and they shouldn't feel this way). However, a majority of these women truly prefer to be at home, and are spending days trapped in a work "cell" and feeling committed for life.

First and foremost, I would like to stress that I am not going to join the pros or cons of either side of this debate. I have been both a working mother and a stay-at-home mother. I think they both have their advantages and disadvantages. I have equally loved and loathed both on any given day!

When I was working in sales and marketing, I loved the ability to meet new people, to negotiate, to close deals, to be given a task, a goal, a deadline, and to be able to start and finish a project. The hardest transition to full time "mommy" world for me is that no task or project ever seems complete. I make the meal and it's quickly eaten. I make and clean up after another meal, and another meal only to be greeted by requests for many impromptu snacks. I do the laundry, and it's worn, becomes dirty and needs to be done again. I wash the dishes, the floor, clean the house, and within a matter of hours my hard work is all undone. This applies to the bigger projects as well, like reorganizing cupboards, closets, and drawers, although at least this usually buys me a few days of pride and satisfaction, rather than just a few hours.

However, even though my tasks may never seem accomplished, my house never as clean as I feel it is suppose to be, there are days when I am playing with my children, laughing, hugging, holding them and I think I would have missed moment. Everyday they grow and change and it becomes harder to remember what they were like the month prior, nonetheless a year prior. For this I am thankful for an opportunity to have these special "mommy" moments.

I think that we as women have such strong bonds and influence on each other in friendships and in family relationships. We need to use that influence and stop debating each other over who is right and who is wrong in the stay-at-home or work debate and just accept that we each have our own "right".

For women who desperately yearn to be home with their children, we need to fight for employers and businesses to create better work at home opportunities so that if money is an issue, and a dual income is necessary, it doesn't have to be at the cost of our desired family life. After carrying a child inside of us for nine months and giving birth, we have earned the right to spend every waking moment with him or her is we so desire.

For women who truly enjoy and thrive in a work atmosphere, I say then don't feel guilty. I am taking pleasure in a hiatus right now, but I sincerely enjoyed working as well. Women have labored a long, hard time to pave the way for the success were seeing in today's culture and you needn't give that up to become a mother if working makes you happy. The popular saying that relates to families "if Mom is happy, we're all happy" couldn't be more true!

I will emphasize that as a working Mother or parent, you do need to set boundaries with your employer, and let them know that your family is as important as your career. When I was working, I fought for and demanded a part-time flexible schedule that worked for my family.

Except for the occasional project, I made it a priority to leave the office on time everyday, making it understood by my boss and coworkers that this was my schedule and I would not impress anyone with late night office departures.

Coincidently, in every office I have worked in, it is often those who consistently spent most of their day accomplishing very little, that ended up burning the "midnight" oil. I spent my days working smart and efficiently, and felt no guilt at my "on time" departure routine. So don't feel pressured to stay late, because it looks good in the eyes of your coworkers. My bosses always knew how hard I worked, and none of them blinked an eye when I left for the day.

So ladies, instead of debating each other, let's use our influence, our power, our minds, and our hearts, to help each other do what is right for one another; even if our "right" may be different from someone else's. We all need to work together in order to continue to make a difference. Together, we can make certain that work choices, family flexible schedules, and genuine work from home opportunities are available to us so we can support our families both financially and emotionally.

We may not always agree when it comes to various parenting issues, but I am certain as parents we can unanimously agree that we all love our children.

Tina Frazer is the Founder of Let's Be Friends.net, a friendship website for women. Let's Be Friends.net promotes and encourages new friendships among women of all ages* and stages of life who share similar interests, lifestyles, and values. Our mission at Let's Be Friends.net is to reintroduce friendship as a priority in women's lives. For more information about Let's Be Friends.net visit http://www.letsbefriends.net

*Members must be at least 18 years old.

---

Google News Updated : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 14:05:39 GMT PIECING TOGETHER A PLEA How the deal got done - Detroit Free Press Boston Globe PIECING TOGETHER A PLEA How the deal got done Detroit Free Press - 6 hours ago BY JOE SWICKARD • FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER • September 5, 2008 Prosecutors rolled Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick's plea deal into court Thursday praying the wheels wouldn't fall off. Detroit Mayor Acknowledges 'Poor Judgment' NPR Detroit mayor pleads guilty, to leave office Reuters DetNews.com - International Herald Tribune - The Associated Press - WWJ all 853 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 07:57:24 GMT In Long-Awaited Maps of Cancer, The Breakthrough Is the Problem - Wall Street Journal In Long-Awaited Maps of Cancer, The Breakthrough Is the Problem Wall Street Journal - 10 hours ago By GAUTAM NAIK After struggling for years to improve the treatment of cancer, scientists now hope to fight the disease with the help of the same techniques that deciphered the human genome eight years ago: mapping it. What You Need to Know About Mapping the Cancer Genome U.S. News & World Report Data on defective genes make tailored remedies possible Baltimore Sun Reuters - The Associated Press - Bloomberg - eFluxMedia all 261 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 04:01:28 GMT Reviews of McCain's speech - MSNBC Telegraph.co.uk Reviews of McCain's speech MSNBC - 30 minutes ago The AP’s Ron Fournier says McCain “preached bipartisanship and unity from a stage retooled to carry him out to the Republican faithful. McCain: I work for you CNN Political Ticker ‘Change is coming,’ McCain tells GOP in speech Kansas City Star CNN - Houston Chronicle - Forbes - Chicago Sun-Times all 906 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:35:16 GMT Lebanese ruling majority accuses Syria of interfering in Lebanon - Xinhua Sydney Morning Herald Lebanese ruling majority accuses Syria of interfering in Lebanon Xinhua - 2 hours ago BEIRUT, Sept.5 (Xinhua) -- Lebanese ruling majority accused Syrian President Bashar Assad of interfering in Lebanese internal affairs and not recognizing Lebanon's sovereignty, local press Naharnet reported Friday. Video: Sarkozy in Syria : the press is divided france24english Editor's Notes: A losing battle, so far Jerusalem Post PRESS TV - Ynetnews - Ha'aretz - New York Times all 1,062 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 11:59:29 GMT Nokia Forecasts Drop in Third-Quarter Market Share (Update1) - Bloomberg AFP Nokia Forecasts Drop in Third-Quarter Market Share (Update1) Bloomberg - 1 hour ago By Juho Erkheikki Sept. 5 (Bloomberg) -- Nokia Oyj, the world's biggest maker of mobile phones, forecast a drop in third-quarter market share after competitors slashed prices and a new handset was delayed. Nokia Sees Market Share Slipping in Third Quarter Wall Street Journal Nokia Lowers its Third Quarter 2008 Mobile Device Market Share Outlook FOXBusiness MarketWatch - Reuters - TheStreet.com - The Associated Press all 138 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:50:07 GMT Dell looks to sell factories worldwide - CNNMoney.com Wall Street Journal Dell looks to sell factories worldwide CNNMoney.com - 50 minutes ago By Scott Moritz Dell (DELL) is getting more serious about trimming costs and is exploring plans to sell its PC manufacturing plants, according to a news report Friday. Dell said to consider sale of factories MarketWatch Ahead of the Bell: Dell may sell plants, WSJ says Forbes Bloomberg - EETimes.com - BloggingStocks - Zacks.com all 83 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:15:09 GMT Lavrov rejects Cheney's attack on Russia - CNN International BBC News Lavrov rejects Cheney's attack on Russia CNN International - 1 hour ago By CNN's Matthew Chance MOSCOW, Russia (CNN) -- Russia on Friday rejected sharp criticism by US Vice President Dick Cheney that its intervention in Georgia raises doubts about Moscow's reliability as an international partner. Video: Cheney Slams Russia for War Against Georgia AssociatedPress Russia says Cheney fanning Georgian aggression Reuters India Reuters UK - guardian.co.uk - RIA Novosti - Voice of America all 2,162 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:45:40 GMT Add Data Feed Content to Your Website Amazon Associate Feed

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Protect your Kids Early with Safety Glasses

What exactly makes safety glasses different from regular glasses? There... Read More

Parenting - Give Your Child The Tools To Build Strong Character And Values

There are many parenting styles. Yours may be very different... Read More

Create Your Dream Family

There has been much attention in the media of late... Read More

Top Ten Things Parents Must Know About State Academic Standards (What Your Child s/b Learning)

Public education in the United States has never been equal... Read More

How To Use Positive Child Discipline

I am a single mother of a 17 year old... Read More

Choosing Names For Twins

There are many reasons for treating your twins as individuals... Read More

Encouraging Your Child to Write

How in the world do you get your child to... Read More

Relate With Your Teen And Gain Their Trust

We were all teens at one time for some many... Read More

How to Deal with Your Child?s Inappropriate Behaviour

Children bombard parents with many challenging behaviours. We are delighted... Read More

A Quiz for Parents: What Are They REALLY Learning?

Picture this. Your child comes home with a special assignment... Read More

Top Ten Common Sense Rules for Fathers

There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More

What is Hyperactivity in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More

Help My Preteen/Teenager is Driving Me Nuts!

Do you feel like someone has abducted your sweet, innocent... Read More

Beyond the Words, a Childs Voice

Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More

Career Education: Does Not Mean the 6 Year College Plan

Researching career education uncovered the following shocking statistic: The average... Read More

Secrets from the Classroom: Avoiding Summer Learning Loss

In June, elementary school children across North America cheered as... Read More

Parenting Problem? 5 Simple Things That Will Help

What is a parenting problem?Parenting is a tough job, we... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Kids and Money

Most teens go into the work world ill-prepared to manage... Read More

Bath Time Fun

Bath time can be fun or it can be a... Read More

Your Company Vehicle is a Portable Bill Board; A word of advice on children passengers

Child Safety Restraints and children in work vehiclesIf you take... Read More

Meet The Twixters!

There is a new stage of development for parents to... Read More

Three Tips to Get Children with Sleeping Problems Asleep

According to the American Sleep Association 70% of all babies... Read More

Consistent Boundaries Makes Discipline Easier

Homes should be run by parents, not children. So many... Read More

The Great Baby Name Debate

Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More

Does Sexual Abuse Usually Occur Just Once?

Your daughter tells you that Uncle Charley has touched her... Read More