Teenagers Taking Risks

It can be hard being a parent with a teen going through what I term the 'I'm Invincible' phase. This is the phase when teens start doing scary and dangerous things (according to us parents) as a way of testing out their physical limits.

This is not surprising given that, at adolescence, teenagers are effectively given a 'new' body, one which has many improved features from that of their childhood body. It's no good as parents thinking we can tell them about the limits of this body; just as a toddler needs to work out for themselves how to balance to walk so a teen needs to work out for themselves how to use their changed body.

Pushing themselves that little bit further each time is necessary for the teen to find out what happens. They need to make mistakes so that they can self-adjust. They need to know just how fast, agile and strong their body is so they can use it appropriately in the future. Not knowing their own limits is potentially much more dangerous.

However some teens also use this phase to 'prove' themselves. In today's competitive society, teens have been brought up to want to be 'better' than someone else at something. For some teens this will be in the classroom, others on the sports field or through the performing arts but for some teens none of these avenues are available.

The only way they can prove themselves to be 'better' is through some daredevil type of physical activity, where they can show they are braver, can bear more pain or can think up some more elaborate plan. This is where these teens get their feelings of success, their sense of achievement, their sense of self-worth.

The 'I'm Invincible' phase is a crucial learning phase; it's all about taking risks and making judgements about risk. As parents, it's hard for us to let our teens take risks, we naturally want to protect them, but in attempting to protect them we are in reality often holding them back.

Taking risks is a necessary part of adult life; leaving one job for another, starting a business, asking someone out on a date all require a certain amount of risk. Although the risks in the 'I'm Invincible' phase are primarily based in the physical, they give a good foundation for taking risks in the emotional and cognitive realms in the future.

How to Handle the 'I'm Invincible' Phase

If at all possible, enrol your teen in a class or organisation where they can test their limits in a relatively safe environment eg sports, dance, scouts/guides, army/navy/air cadets.

For those that need to 'prove' themselves, give them chores that allow them to show off their new found physical strengths; re-think the chores they do to see if there are some more suited to their abilities. Receiving success, achievement and a sense of self-worth at home reduces the need to look for it elsewhere.

Use the language associated with 'I'm Invincible' to acknowledge your teen in day-to-day life. Words such as courage, brave, strong, determined, overcome, etc, can also be used to motivate your teen.

Examine your own fears; are your fears based on objective, rational information, or have they been exacerbated by other peoples' stories or news reports. Get the facts not the media hype.

Explain your fears to your teen by expressing concern over what others might do. If you express doubt in their abilities you will just make them more determined to prove you wrong. Eg "I don't want you riding your bike late at night because drivers are more likely to have accidents then" is much more readily received than "I don't want you riding your bike late at night because you might have an accident".

Do not use evidence of their mistakes to do 'I told you so'. Recognise mistakes as valuable learning, and then acknowledge the learning as you would any other type of learning.

Carol Shepley has been involved with teenagers for over 10 years and, as the parent of a teen herself, fully understands the pressures placed on parents and teens today. She now shares this knowledge and experience through her website http://www.growingupmatters.com so that parents can help their teens become resilient, resourceful and responsible adults.

In The News:

---

Google News Updated : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 14:06:59 GMT Palins on move The Palin story . . . - Chicago Sun-Times ABC News Palins on move The Palin story . . . Chicago Sun-Times - 4 hours ago Sarah Palin and her hubby, Todd, went separate ways Thursday night after John McCain's speech. • • To wit: While Sarah Palin headed with McCain to Cedarburg, Wisc. Poll on Palin: GOP likes her, Dems don't Houston Chronicle Sarah Palin will be missing from action Sunday am Los Angeles Times Lawrence Journal World - Austin American-Statesman - ABC News - San Francisco Chronicle all 1,406 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 09:07:37 GMT NetSuite Says Chrome-optimized Apps Are Flying - PC World eFluxMedia NetSuite Says Chrome-optimized Apps Are Flying PC World - 16 hours ago It was in line with the likelihood of summer following spring that somebody would declare an application optimized for Google's Chrome, the new web browser that has dominated the geekier end of technology news this week. Google Chrome Hit With Another Security Bug CRN NetSuite boasts of Google Chrome support CNET News eFluxMedia - Financial Times - Waukegan News Sun - Motley Fool all 206 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 21:39:42 GMT Dell May Shrink Its Network of Factories - New York Times DailyTech Dell May Shrink Its Network of Factories New York Times - 11 hours ago By STEVE LOHR Dell, in a government filing this week, strongly suggested that it planned to shrink its network of factories as part of the computer company’s drive to reduce costs. Dell Trades Factories For Money Forbes WSJ: Dell could sell off Winston-Salem plants Bizjournals.com guardian.co.uk - Wall Street Journal - Seeking Alpha - Bloomberg all 239 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 02:57:22 GMT McCain pledges change, touts experience in convention address - Detroit Free Press Telegraph.co.uk McCain pledges change, touts experience in convention address Detroit Free Press - 3 hours ago ST. PAUL, Minn. -- Preaching a message of bipartisanship and insisting he's the man to throw the "me-first, country-second" crowd out of Washington, a buoyant John McCain steered his Straight Talk Express into its biggest berth ever Thursday night ... Video: McCain Vs. Obama: Got Change? AssociatedPress Reuters Politics Summary Washington Post BBC News - Financial Times - Christian Science Monitor - New York Daily News all 1,491 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 10:41:29 GMT Serena, Jankovic will duel in final - Boston Globe ESPN Serena, Jankovic will duel in final Boston Globe - 6 hours ago By Cindy Shmerler NEW YORK - Maybe someone put a Whoopie Cushion on Richard Williams's chair. Because there he was, jumping up and down after every point, high-fiving everyone around him. Video: Serena Williams Tries for 3rd US Open Title AssociatedPress Williams has edge in semis Washington Times Washington Post - Bob Larson Tennis News - Sports Network - Houston Chronicle all 4,138 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 07:34:34 GMT Use of 'Barracuda' for Sarah Palin nets GOP a Heart attack - New York Daily News Use of 'Barracuda' for Sarah Palin nets GOP a Heart attack New York Daily News - 11 hours ago BY NANCY DILLON They put the "amp" in campaign and get voters tapping their toes to the ballot box - but hit songs can be tricky territory for political campaigns. Heart Wants To Be Ripped Out Of Republicans’ Campaign eFluxMedia Wilson sisters slam GOP's use of Heart's "Barracuda" Seattle Times E! Online - TMZ.com - San Francisco Chronicle - Boston Globe all 186 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 02:19:34 GMT MTV's VMAs: DOA? - E! Online MTV's VMAs: DOA? E! Online - 34 minutes ago MTV's Video Music Awards are this weekend, and we're lukewarm on the whole affair. Russell Brand as the host? We've only seen this Brit bloke once before, in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, which feels like eons ago, and those VMA commercials costarring ... Kanye West to Close Video Music Awards New York Times Russell Brand looks to make big splash as VMA host Boston Herald eFluxMedia - ABC News - Singersroom News - Columbus Dispatch all 1,185 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 13:32:57 GMT RSS Software Increase Web Traffic

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

My Children

I have been a single mom for almost 20 years.... Read More

Surviving As A Single Parent: Seven Simple Suggestions To Make Your Life Easier

1 - Forgive even if you will never be able... Read More

Spelling Games

The following spelling games can be used by parents to... Read More

Nail Biting Basics

Nail biting in all its various forms is problematic... Read More

Helping Your Child Cope With A Long-Term Illness

All children will likely have many different health problems during... Read More

Grandparents --- Homeschool Your Grandchildren and Feel Younger

Grandparents, what better way to stay close to your grown... Read More

Keep the Little Ones Safe, Follow Pool Safety Guidelines

Pool safety should be on the minds of every parent... Read More

The Real Problem With Todays Teenagers (And Why Most Parents Just Dont Get It!)

An address given by Rev. David B. Smith... Read More

How to Parent Your Teen Effectively

Maintain CommunicationEven though teens need to separate from their parents... Read More

Character Education

Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Back to School Blues

Q: Our son has been in honors classes all through... Read More

Lets Pretend

Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More

Raise Your Child to Be a Leader Not a Follower

Your child's leadership skills begin at the family dinner table.... Read More

Parents, Teach Thought-Stopping! Fix Crooked Thinking Caps

Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More

For School Success, Dont Coddle Your Kids

Parents want their children to succeed in school. However, sometimes... Read More

Are You Reading to Your Kids?

Over a number of years there have been issues raised... Read More

Is My Child Lazy?

Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do... Read More

Dexedrine, Cylert, and Adderall in the Treatment of ADHD

Dexedrine is not prescribed very often for the treatment of... Read More

How to End the Misery of Bedwetting

When a child wets the bed they worry. Children tend... Read More

The Classic ADHD Child Reminds Me of Tigger

ADHD comes in differenty forms, or types. What... Read More

Words of Wisdom for Single Parents

The cost of being a parent and raising a child... Read More

Family Meetings Are Now On The Agenda

"Not another meeting!"That tends to be the reaction from many... Read More

Bring On The Music To Help Your Child Learn Faster And More Effectively

Do you remember how you first learned the alphabet? I... Read More

10 Tips for Making Daily Physical Activity Part of Your Childs Life!

Here's some of the bad news about sedentary lifestyles:? Forty... Read More

Babys First Month at a Glance

Congratulations on your new baby! You have just brought your... Read More