Teaching Children Good Manners

Last week in my newsletter, I mentioned that my children knew how to behave in nice restaurants because they had been exposed to the atmosphere at an early age. My idea of well behaved might be different from yours, however, I think there are certain basics that are important and universal.

When my daughters were babies, we would take them wherever we went. If they began to fuss or cry, one of us would promptly remove them from the room/restaurant/market/wherever. Not because we felt their crying or fussing was a bad thing. No, it's a perfectly normal occurrence for infants and toddlers. We removed them as a courtesy to others who we felt did not need to be as tolerant as we were with our children's noise. In consequence, my daughters know that other people are not as wildly in love with their racket or with them as we are. Nor should they be expected to be.

As our children grew older, they were always told the rules of our outings, how to behave and to always speak softly if other adults were present. Sometimes, it's fine to let them get a little crazy ... just know your audience! If we are at a five star restaurant where many other diners have come to enjoy a gracious and expensive meal, would we expect everyone there to be enthralled with junior's vocal or behavioral outbursts? Would we really expect them to care if our child is having a bout with walking pneumonia and coughing uncontrollably? Nope. It's rude. And rudeness is basically nothing more than bad manners. If there is an emergency with your child, by all means don't give a flying flamingo about what others think. But this is the exception. Besides, children who are that sick belong at home, not in public.

Last night, my girls and I were in a department store. There was a toddler carrying on and screaming for more than 15 minutes when my younger daughter said:

"Now his mommy is going to tell him to stop because there are other people in here that don't want to hear it!"

Unfortunately, his mommy did not tell him any such thing. She let him wail and scream and cry, much to the chagrin and annoyance of everyone else in the store. You know what? As much as I love kids and cannot bear to see or hear them suffering, I disliked this kid immensely!

My reasoning is this: if our kids learn that they are free to trample on the peace, space or rose gardens of others, they will develop into spoiled and inconsiderate brats. And then who will like them? Who will want to spend time with them? Who, besides their forgiving parents, will be able to tolerate their lack of social graces and good manners? No one ? except maybe another ill-mannered person who feels at home with a similarly clueless individual. Do we really want our children reduced to such horrible options? I think not.

We teach our children not to steal, lie or punch their brother in the nose. Shouldn't we teach them respect for others at the same time? That their whining and out-of-control behavior is something no one really wants to hear or witness, especially strangers who have no vested interest in their developing minds or self-esteem? A simple reminder of the rules, consistently, works wonders ... eventually. ;-)

Good luck. Kids need to learn manners and social graces. They will go farther in life if we teach them well.

Copyright ? 2000-2004- Rexanne Mancini

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rexanne Mancini is the mother of two daughters, Justice and Liberty. She is a novelist, freelance writer and maintains an extensive yet informal parenting and family web site, Rexanne.com ? http://www.rexanne.com Visit her site for good advice, award-winning Internet holiday pages and some humor to help you cope. Subscribe to her free newsletter, Rexanne's Web Review, for a monthly dose of Rexanne: http://www.rexanne.com/rwr-archives.html

---

Google News Updated : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 14:05:39 GMT Nokia Forecasts Drop in Third-Quarter Market Share (Update1) - Bloomberg AFP Nokia Forecasts Drop in Third-Quarter Market Share (Update1) Bloomberg - 1 hour ago By Juho Erkheikki Sept. 5 (Bloomberg) -- Nokia Oyj, the world's biggest maker of mobile phones, forecast a drop in third-quarter market share after competitors slashed prices and a new handset was delayed. Nokia Sees Market Share Slipping in Third Quarter Wall Street Journal Nokia Lowers its Third Quarter 2008 Mobile Device Market Share Outlook FOXBusiness MarketWatch - Reuters - TheStreet.com - The Associated Press all 138 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:50:07 GMT In Long-Awaited Maps of Cancer, The Breakthrough Is the Problem - Wall Street Journal In Long-Awaited Maps of Cancer, The Breakthrough Is the Problem Wall Street Journal - 10 hours ago By GAUTAM NAIK After struggling for years to improve the treatment of cancer, scientists now hope to fight the disease with the help of the same techniques that deciphered the human genome eight years ago: mapping it. What You Need to Know About Mapping the Cancer Genome U.S. News & World Report Data on defective genes make tailored remedies possible Baltimore Sun Reuters - The Associated Press - Bloomberg - eFluxMedia all 261 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 04:01:28 GMT Reviews of McCain's speech - MSNBC Telegraph.co.uk Reviews of McCain's speech MSNBC - 30 minutes ago The AP’s Ron Fournier says McCain “preached bipartisanship and unity from a stage retooled to carry him out to the Republican faithful. McCain: I work for you CNN Political Ticker ‘Change is coming,’ McCain tells GOP in speech Kansas City Star CNN - Houston Chronicle - Forbes - Chicago Sun-Times all 906 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:35:16 GMT Lavrov rejects Cheney's attack on Russia - CNN International BBC News Lavrov rejects Cheney's attack on Russia CNN International - 1 hour ago By CNN's Matthew Chance MOSCOW, Russia (CNN) -- Russia on Friday rejected sharp criticism by US Vice President Dick Cheney that its intervention in Georgia raises doubts about Moscow's reliability as an international partner. Video: Cheney Slams Russia for War Against Georgia AssociatedPress Russia says Cheney fanning Georgian aggression Reuters India Reuters UK - guardian.co.uk - RIA Novosti - Voice of America all 2,162 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 12:45:40 GMT PIECING TOGETHER A PLEA How the deal got done - Detroit Free Press Boston Globe PIECING TOGETHER A PLEA How the deal got done Detroit Free Press - 6 hours ago BY JOE SWICKARD • FREE PRESS STAFF WRITER • September 5, 2008 Prosecutors rolled Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick's plea deal into court Thursday praying the wheels wouldn't fall off. Detroit Mayor Acknowledges 'Poor Judgment' NPR Detroit mayor pleads guilty, to leave office Reuters DetNews.com - International Herald Tribune - The Associated Press - WWJ all 853 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 07:57:24 GMT Dell looks to sell factories worldwide - CNNMoney.com Wall Street Journal Dell looks to sell factories worldwide CNNMoney.com - 50 minutes ago By Scott Moritz Dell (DELL) is getting more serious about trimming costs and is exploring plans to sell its PC manufacturing plants, according to a news report Friday. Dell said to consider sale of factories MarketWatch Ahead of the Bell: Dell may sell plants, WSJ says Forbes Bloomberg - EETimes.com - BloggingStocks - Zacks.com all 83 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:15:09 GMT Lebanese ruling majority accuses Syria of interfering in Lebanon - Xinhua Sydney Morning Herald Lebanese ruling majority accuses Syria of interfering in Lebanon Xinhua - 2 hours ago BEIRUT, Sept.5 (Xinhua) -- Lebanese ruling majority accused Syrian President Bashar Assad of interfering in Lebanese internal affairs and not recognizing Lebanon's sovereignty, local press Naharnet reported Friday. Video: Sarkozy in Syria : the press is divided france24english Editor's Notes: A losing battle, so far Jerusalem Post PRESS TV - Ynetnews - Ha'aretz - New York Times all 1,062 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 11:59:29 GMT RSS feeds Web Site Traffic

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Games Of The Past Meet The Present

Recently, our family had the opportunity to care for sisters'... Read More

Promoting Your Childs Motor Development

Assuming there are no serious motor problems present, what can... Read More

Don?t Make Fast and Furious Food Changes

OK, moms and dads out there, we hear you when... Read More

Clean Slates and Fresh Starts

Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts... Read More

EEG Biofeedback as a Treatment for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

In this form of treatment for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder... Read More

Difference

There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More

Banishing Bedtime Blues

"My son won't go to bed at night without a... Read More

A Legacy For Dakota

Have you heard the song; "I Hope You Dance"? It... Read More

Being A Mum - It?s About Them And Not About You!

So you want to be a mum? Every time you... Read More

Defrazzle with a Hearty Guffaw

"The best blush to use is laughter: It put roses... Read More

Bad Boys/Good Boys (Avoiding The Pitfalls Of Being An Insensitive Dad)

I WAS AMAZEDI could hardly believe what I was hearing.... Read More

Advantages of Using a Board Certified Pediatrician

When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream, But Not For Ice Cream!

We all scream for ice cream. Or, we don't, at... Read More

Book Review: The Ring Bear Depicts Turmoil of Becoming A Stepchild

In "The Ring Bear," a picture book by Tigard resident... Read More

Parenting Your Teenager: Teens and Violence

I have a bit of a different response than most... Read More

Are Your Kids Driving You Crazy? How Character Building Charts Keep You Sane

Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?"... Read More

Real Monsters Under Your Bed

There may really be a real monster under your kidâ??s... Read More

Internet Dangers - Protecting Children from Internet Jeopardy

Parents are in a unique position to "monitor" their children's... Read More

Crazy Colors Fun Kid Experiment as a Party Activity

Here is an easy, inexpensive and fun kid experiment for... Read More

Goal Setting for Kids

Goal setting is essential for building a successful life. However,... Read More

Tips For a First-Time Dad

So you're going to become a father. Now is not... Read More

Talk Your Child Clever

Most parents can hardly wait for their baby to say... Read More

The Seven Keys of Being a Father

Is there a fathering instinct?Celebrated child development expert Erik Erikson... Read More

Discipline on My Mind

I look out of the window as I am writing... Read More

Potty Training Battle of the Wills

Some children practically potty train themselves, while others struggle and... Read More