Single Parenting: How The Challenge Of Single Parenting Affects Your Decision To Divorce
Single parenting has seemingly become an acceptable norm which is unfortunate. According to the US Census Bureau, there were over 20 million single parents in the United States in the year 2000. That's a staggering statistic, certainly the worldwide number of people who are challenged with single parenting is exponentially higher.
When making a divorce decision and you have children, its natural to wonder about the challenges of single parenting and how it will affect your children. You may have seen other people struggle with single parenting or thought about the strain single parenting would seemingly put on you and your children.
Single Parenting Is Easier If You Know Yourself.
When deciding about getting a divorce and thinking about how single parenting figures in, make sure that you know yourself. Ask yourself if you're really ready to get divorced and if you can overcome the fear or challenge of single parenting. Don't be hasty with your decision, who knows? Maybe your marriage can be saved! Then again, maybe not.
Know yourself...know whether or not you're thinking of single parenting solely to take something away from your spouse...clearly a selfish and useless reason to be a single parent. Know whether or not you can adequately be a single parent based on your inner strength, work ethic, tendencies towards being overly busy, etc.
Single parenting is tough, what you may be able to take for granted as a married person will be gone if you're thinking of trying single parenting. Chances are if you're thinking of trying single parenting, you won't have much time at all for yourself...in essence, your 'self' will be all about your children. Know whether you're really ready for this...after all your children deserve the best care possible!
Single Parenting Is Easier If You Know Your Children.
Yes, you have to really know your children...you have to know how they'll respond to a plethora of changes if you're going to try single parenting. How will they respond to not seeing your spouse - Mom or Dad - as often? How will your children react to having to be dropped off at your ex-spouses house for visitation? How will the children feel about potentially not enjoying the same luxuries or attention that they may have had previously? Of course, there's more questions to ask to fit your particular situation...keep your children's best interest at heart.
You absolutely must know your children in order to be comfortable about trying single parenting. Granted, it won't be easy and there will be rocky points in the process, but if you know your children well enough single parenting can be productive assuming your marriage cannot be saved. In any event, your children most likely will have to sacrifice if you're going to try single parenting.
Single Parenting Will Be Easier If You Review Your Finances And Plan Accordingly.
Whether the concept is shallow or not is irrelevant. Finances (or lack thereof) figure in to your decision to venture into single parenting. Take a hard look at what your finances will allow for if you're thinking of becoming a single parent. You must not let emotion completely rule your decision to try single parenting. In order to do what's best for you and your children, you need to assess just how you'll make ends meet and how you'll provide for them...and yourself!
Be sensible and take a good amount of time to figure out how you'll live, where the money will come from, how your own freedoms will be compromised, and more importantly, how your children's freedoms will be affected!
If you have a well laid out plan with regards to finance before you start single parenting, you will be much better off.
Single parenting is hard and your children will be affected no matter how well off you are in your life with regards to finance and support mechanisms. But, unfortunately, single parenting can be a necessary thing to do in some instances. Just do right by your children and yourself and think about the future and how you can build your life correctly before you venture into single parenting.
© Karl Augustine, 2005
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