Raising a Violent-Free Teen in 10 Easy Steps
The disquieting behavior of teenagers in the 21st century, is being hailed by experts as a disturbing trend among troubled youth. Such an interpretation may be factual, but mental heath advocates maintain there are guidelines parents can utilize before problems reach the critical stage.
They contend the problems of youngsters who defy parental authority is rooted in changes in the outside world as well as relationships in the home. For example, in recent years, we have witnessed a breakdown in discipline and the disruption of family authority. Family structures are not as strong as they once were, nor are roles as well defined. Often there is conflict between parents. Moreover, peer involvement has surpassed family involvement.
In a society where law and order tend to spiral out of control, children are apt to see parents engage in abusive or corrupt behavior. Similarly, the increase in violence and moral degradation encourages children to ask parents, Who are you to tell us what to do? Look at how youre living and have you have messed up the world? As children become older, they generally separate from the family, however, they still need guidance. It is at this stage, that parents are encouraged to exercise their flexibility and supervision skills. How parents enforce those rules will influence their success in maintaining them.. Below are 10 suggestions, that if followed fastidiously, will produce incredible results.
1. Parental Accountability. Instead of raising their own children, parents are relying on teachers and other authority figures to fill the role of mom and dad. To counteract trouble, it is imperative that parents become familiar with their childrens universe: habits, friends, social network and extra curricular activities.
2. Setting the Rules. Parents should set their own standards, however, it is a good idea to check with other parents, and perhaps the school about prevailing views on curfews, alcohol and other pertinent issues. You cant always trust children to accurately report about regulations in other families. Thus, it is important to remember that each family is different, so rules will vary.
3. Parents should not differentiate on the rules. Both parents should agree on a course of action and support each other. Kids will use every opportunity to take advantage of differences between parents. For example: Roger, a 15-year-old with an overactive libido is told by his macho dad that its normal for teenage boys to have sex with multiple partners, but his mom espouses abstinence. As a result of this discrepancy, Justin is totally confused. The solution: Parents should determine how to handle troubling aspects of their childrens lives (sex, drugs, alcohol, rebellion) and agree on a specific strategy. Reluctance and hesitance is not acceptable. According to experts, if a child senses friction, he/she is apt to pit one parent against the other creating a major headache.
4. Discuss the rules with your children. Explain your position calmly, and be prepared to back up your ideas. Remember, things have changed a great deal since you were your childrens age. Listen carefully to your children. Particularly the oldest, who usually has the toughest time because he or she is a trailblazer for those who follow.
5. Rules must be geared to the ability of the child to handle responsibility. Development in adolescence is uneven not only physically, but also emotionally. One 16-year-old may be able to manage a flexible curfew, but another may not be mature enough. If rules are not followed, parents must first examine their own roles, expectations and motivations. Are they contributing to the problem? Are the demands arbitrary and unreachable? Example: Vulgar language. What kind of language do the parents use? If every word out of their mouth is filthy or offensive, theres a strong probability the children will develop the same habit. Violent Behavior. Children arent born with a penchant for violence. Instead, it is learned from parents and other adults. If you exhibit violent behavior in front of your children, anticipate problems in the future.
6. Let children know whos in charge. Parents who are afraid of their children and let them run amuck are bound to have problems. Unlike prior generations, a barrage of laws protect todays youth, which makes it difficult for parents to dispense discipline. Despite the legal process, parents should make it clear that they are in charge, and children as long as they are under their roof are obliged to obey rules.
7. Avoid hostile confrontations. Create an atmosphere where troubling situations are expressed with positive reinforcement. If parents discover their daughter is using drugs they should refrain from losing control. Instead, they should remain calm and point out the dangers of substance abuse. After explaining your position, seek professional help. If the child refuses to undergo treatment, as a parent you are required to see that she is admitted to a chemical dependency program within 36 hours.
8. Never tag a child with the worthless label. According to experts, children are very impressionable. If a youngster is repeatedly told he is no good, he will act in accordance with that image. Thus, he begins to lives up to that reputation and is more likely to get into trouble. Defiant behavior is often used to get attention or to test limits.
9. Always deal with your child with understanding. Children react to fairness. However, it is OK to be angry if your anger is motivated by your concern for their safety. It is your job to protect them; however parents should not protect their children if they commit a serious crime. If a child is found guilty of stealing or destroying public property, he or she should be given the punishment befitting the crime.
10. Treat each child equally. Avoid paying too much attention to one child, while purposely ignoring the other. Remember that each child is born with unique abilities, unlike anyone else. Learn to appreciate each childs talent and individuality. If parents follow these suggestions, perhaps unruly children will become a thing of the past, rather than a trend of the future.
About The Author
A freelance writer since 1989, Butler has written for various magazines and Internet publications including Impact Press, Africana.com., TimBook Tu, and The Black World Today. Moreover, Butler who lists collecting 60s memorabilia among her hobbies, writes news, features, sports and entertainment articles, as well as commentaries and humor pieces. Currently, she is a contributor for Theblackmarket.com. For further information visit her website at: www.Psbwrite.com
 Google News Updated : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 17:51:10 GMT "Chihuahua" bites Crowe, DiCaprio at box office - Reuters Reuters - LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The new terrorism thriller "Body of Lies" failed to take the top spot at the weekend box office in North America on Sunday, becoming the latest victim of moviegoer aversion to movies dealing with Middle East intrigue. 'Chihuahua' still has bite in second weekend at box office ‘Body’ Talk, Baby Talk Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 16:19:10 GMT Lisa Marie Presley delivers twins: report - Reuters
Reuters - LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Lisa Marie Presley, Elvis Presley's only child, gave birth to twin baby girls on October 7, celebrity news TV show "Entertainment Tonight" said on its website on Saturday. Twin girls for Lisa Marie Presley Lisa Marie Presley Welcomes Twin Girls Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 17:17:01 GMT Stem cell promises, obstacles remain four years after bill's approval - San Jose Mercury News San Jose Mercury News - EDITOR'S NOTE: This is first of a two-part series examining the progress and potential pitfalls in California's $3 billion stem cell research program. Researchers find easier way to make stem cells New method generates stem cells safely from mice Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 16:34:39 GMT US-POLITICS Summary - Washington Post
Washington Post - WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Democrat Barack Obama has opened a 6-point lead over Republican rival John McCain in the US presidential race, according to a Reuters/C-SPAN/Zogby poll released on Sunday. John McCain and Sarah Palin try new tactics Pittsburgh Paper Picks Obama, Pans on McCain/Palin Ticket Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 15:22:18 GMT Texas new No. 1 in coaches poll after wild college football weekend - USA Today
USA Today - By Eddie Timanus, USA TODAY The date won't quite live in infamy, but college football followers should remember Oct. 11, 2008, for a long time. Kansas fails to move up in polls Texas grabs top ranking in AP Poll Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 17:18:35 GMT Obama Gains in States Such as Iowa, Florida Give National Boost - Bloomberg
Bloomberg - By James Rowley and Kristin Jensen Oct. 12 (Bloomberg) -- Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama is moving ahead in a series of new polls from Florida to Iowa, gains that are helping him maintain a national lead over Republican John McCain. Video: Kids Vote On Campaign '08 Newsday poll: Obama has double-digit lead on Long Island Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 15:51:54 GMT Spotlight on Apple notebooks: 1989 to 2008 - CNNMoney.com
CNNMoney.com - On Tuesday, Oct. 14, Apple will unveil the latest addition to a long line of portable computers that dates back nearly 20 years - to the ungainly, 15.8-pound “Macintosh Portable” that PC World named the 17th worst technology product of all time. This week in Apple: New notebooks, new writers, and more Woz Don't Buy A Mac Laptop* Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 15:23:15 GMT Make Money From Home |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... Dining in a restaurant with kids can be very enervating... Read More It's been said, time and again, that for a child... Read More Home-schooling removes children from public school. That alone makes home-schooling... Read More Most of the ADHD kids that are seen in a... Read More Optimists do better academically, socially and enjoy better health than... Read More To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece... Read More When my oldest boy was really young, he tickled my... Read More Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More Q. We are getting to the stage with our kids... Read More The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More Bedtime and children's sleep habits can cause nightmares - for... Read More "Hugging is healthy: it helps the body's immunity system, it... Read More This may come as a surprise.But despite all the advances... Read More Recently, a parent came to me, conflicted over whether to... Read More The formula is pretty straightforward: energy in/energy out. This is... Read More Impulsivity is one of the hallmarks of people with Attention... Read More There is a new stage of development for parents to... Read More Oh Please, Don't Say Maybe!!!!Are you often a participant in... Read More "I took care of Callie," my three-year-old announced.Callie had been... Read More It can be hard being a parent with a teen... Read More Anorexia nervosa is a serious medical disorder that is statistically... Read More Nail biting in all its various forms is problematic... Read More How bad is the illegal drug problem here in the... Read More There are many reasons for treating your twins as individuals... Read More "I could have helped you if I would have known,... Read More
Adsense
websites
Going Out to a Restaurant with Kids
COMMITMENT: Teaching Children the Lessons of a Lifetime
Homeschooling Takes Your Child Out of Public School --- A Unique Benefit
What is Hyperactivity in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?
Teach Children The Skills Of Optimism
Gifts From The Heart: Moms Remember...
What the Matter Is
Ten Ways To Become Your Teenagers Best Friend
Parenting Your Teenager: But everyone else gets to do it!
When Kids Hurt Parents
Bedtime and Sleep Habits
Defrazzle with Hug Therapy
Grandparents! Help Your Grandkids Do Math!
Medications: Addressing Parental Fears and Concerns
What Might Surprise You About Childhood Obesity
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder: What is Impulsivity?
Meet The Twixters!
?Mommy, I Can?t Sleep!?: Sleep Disturbance in Children
Theres a Lollipop on Your Bottom (and Other Terms of Endearment)
Teenagers Taking Risks
Anorexia Nervosa Alert - is Your Daughter Dying To Be Thin?
Nail Biting Basics
Illegal and Legal Drug Usage in the United States
Choosing Names For Twins
Parents - Create An Emotionally Healthy Connection With Your Child
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
Educational Jigsaw Puzzles, How Educational Are They?
Many companies advertise their products as being educational. How much... Read More
Encourage Your Children Potential By Your Modeling
All responsible parents would want to support their children, find... Read More
Powerful Tips for Increasing Your Childs Self-Esteem
Here is a list of ways to convey the message... Read More
Cooking With Your Kids Helps Develop Motor Skills for Preschoolers
Did you know that cooking with your kids is a... Read More
Childs Play: Treating The Insanity of the Mental Health System
In today's mental health system there is a pattern of... Read More
Break Free From Power Struggles
You want your daughter to wear a dress to the... Read More
Creating Great Birthday Party Videos
My son recently had his third birthday party and it... Read More
Where Is Your Homework, Lisa?
Is Homework Really That Important?Dear Friends,I no longer teach in... Read More
From Good to GREAT: Secrets On Becoming A Better Dad
While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More
Disciplining the Wild Child
Do you have a wild child? Then this article may... Read More
Secret Of Your Genuis Child
Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More
Parenting Your Teenager: The Teenager and the Gorilla
Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a... Read More
How Public Schools Coerce Parents Into Giving Mind-Altering Drugs To Their Children
Despite the potentially dangerous side-effects of Ritalin, public school authorities... Read More
Diagnosing ADHD in Children, an Introduction
Everyone in a private practice setting who works with children... Read More
Parenting in the Kitchen ? Lessons in Cooking, Socializing, and Bonding
Kitchens are where everything happens. It's not just where meals... Read More
Parenting Your Teenager: The Power Struggle
Q: My husband and I are at a loss as... Read More
Lets Pretend
Children explore the world around them and learn through pretend... Read More
Math Facts - Try Some Fun Ways to Learn Them
Memorizing math facts is a necessary part of elementary school.... Read More
Baptisms And Alternative Ways To Hold A Naming Ceremony
Traditionally, babies have been named at a christening/baptism.... Read More
How Much Water are You Wasting?
Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More
Gifts From The Heart: Moms Remember...
To the untrained eye, it might look like a piece... Read More
Parenting Problem? 5 Simple Things That Will Help
What is a parenting problem?Parenting is a tough job, we... Read More
How You Can Help Your Child To Be An Avid Reader
Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help... Read More
Difference
There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More
Dads - What Family Legacy Are You Passing On to Your Children?
Do you want to create a deeper, more loving relationship... Read More
Parenting |