Powerful Tips for Increasing Your Childs Self-Esteem
Here is a list of ways to convey the message "You are worthwhile" to your children. This list could fill a hundred newsletters, since the ways to raise responsible, happy children are limited only by our imaginations. Here are some places to begin.
1. Tell her on a regular basis that you love her. Actually say the words. If you think, "I don't have to tell her. She knows," you are wrong. It doesn't count if you think it but don't say it out loud.
2. Tell him that you are glad he is your child. Say the words and mean them. If you don't feel it, there is something wrong and you should find out what's going on. We all have moments when we have a hard time getting in touch with our positive feelings for our children. I'm not talking about those times. I'm talking about in general, most of the time, if you're not feeling good about being your child's parent, something is wrong. He will never feel good about himself if he senses that you are not connected to him.
3. Give her an example to follow. Take the time to teach her the steps. Kids need models. It's unfair to expect that she will know what to do in her daily life if you haven't shown her how to do it.
4. Spend time with him. If you are absent most of the time, he notices, and he probably thinks it's because he isn't important enough.
5. Look at her when you speak to her. This conveys, "This is important and you are important."
6. Look at him when he speaks to you. This conveys, "What you are saying is important. You are important."
7. Explain why. It takes more time, but it conveys that she is important enough to spend the time helping her understand. When you explain why, you are also saying, "I understand that you need to know why. I am going to help you meet your needs."
8. When he tells you about something that happened, ask him how he feels about it. Take the time to listen to his answer.
9. When you ask a question, encourage her to elaborate. Say, "Tell me more about that," or ask, "What was that like?"
10. When you ask a question, don't interrupt when she is answering.
11. When you ask a question, watch your responses. Don't disagree or criticize his answer. This teaches him that it isn't safe to be candid and will make him edit what he tells you.
12. Take her seriously.
13. Participate in the driving. The kids whose parents never help with the driving feel bad about themselves.
14. Say no when you need to say no. Kids need to know there are limits and that some things are outside of those limits.
15. When you say no, explain why.
16. When you say yes, explain why.
17. Set a positive example with your own behavior. You can only expect her to behave with dignity and self-respect if she sees you doing it.
18. When you lose your temper or make a mistake, apologize. Say that you are sorry, be specific about what you are sorry for, and give him a chance to respond.
19. When you know that you have disappointed him, acknowledge it. Ask him how he feels about it.
20. Spend time alone with her. Arrange activities for just the two of you.
21. Ask him what he would like to do.
22. Give her a private space where she can express herself.
23. Respect his privacy.
24. If he did a good job on something, say so.
25. If she didn't do such a good job on something, point out what she did well.
26. After a disappointment or failure, ask, "What did you learn from the experience?"
27. When you are giving feedback, describe specific behavior. For example, "I like how you asked the question so politely" or "You still need to pick up the towels off the floor."
28. When there is a problem, focus on the issue, not the child. For example, "You didn't do the last ten problems on this assignment" is more constructive than "You never finish anything."
29. Ask what he thinks.
30. Let her be the one to choose the restaurant, movie, or activity some of the time.
31. Ask him to go with you on routine errands just because you want to spend some time with him.
32. Touch her when you talk to her.
33. Give him a hug at least every few days.
34. Go in and say goodnight before she goes to sleep. (This is easy to forget once they become teenagers.)
35. Look up and smile when he walks into the room.
36. Introduce yourself when she is with a new friend.
37. Ask her to tell you about the book she is reading or the movie she just saw.
38. Review child development literature regularly to stay updated on what is normal at each age and stage. It is important to recheck your standards and expectations to be sure they are realistic for the child's age and individual abilities.
39. Look for ways to maintain your own self-esteem. If you are unhappy, discontent, or disappointed in how your life is turning out, it will be difficult for you to build the self-esteem of your children.
40. Every child needs to be the object of a parent's undivided attention on a regular basis.
41. Make certain that your body language matches your words. If they are out of synch, he will be aware of it.
42. Be yourself. Tell the truth.
43. Be appropriate. You don't have to say everything that is on your mind or tell him things he isn't ready to know.
44. If you show that you accept yourself and your actions, you give permission to her to do the same.
Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. He offers online and telephone coaching and counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or 201-303-4303.
 Google News Updated : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 11:51:06 GMT ARM Holders Would Do Well to Shop Around Now - Washington Post
Washington Post - By Nancy Trejos The global financial crisis has affected virtually every aspect of personal finance, from mortgages to student loans to credit cards to retirement savings. Finance giants reportedly ordered to buy $40 bln of mortgage bonds ... Fannie, Freddie to Buy $40 Billion a Month of Troubled Assets Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 07:07:17 GMT Many homers, and pitches, in Game 2 - MLB.com
MLB.com - By Bryan Hoch / MLB.com ST. PETERSBURG -- Five hours and 27 minutes elapsed during Saturday's American League Championship Series Game 2, bookending the moments when Scott Kazmir threw the game's first pitch over home plate and BJ Upton popped its ... Up, up, and away Mike Timlin shoulders blame Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 09:22:57 GMT Van driver's work in Mass. aided Nobel winners - Boston Globe
Boston Globe - HUNTSVILLE, Ala.—When two American scientists won a Nobel Prize this week in chemistry, the driver of a car dealership's courtesy van had reason to take special interest. Video: Nobel Chemistry Prize Goes for Jellyfish Protein Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 04:14:18 GMT Theatrical Review of Body of Lies - DVDTOWN.com DVDTOWN.com - By Jason P. Vargo "Body of Lies" is a certain type of movie designed for a certain type of moviegoer. I think the tagline describes the movie perfectly, actually. Will 'Chihuahua' take a bite out of 'Body of Lies'? Body of Lies Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 00:19:39 GMT Japan says will tap FX reserve if IMF steps up bailout - Reuters
Reuters - WASHINGTON, Oct 11 (Reuters) - Japan said on Saturday it is ready to offer a part of its $1 trillion foreign reserves to the International Monetary Fund (IMF) if the multi-national lender is to support countries facing economic crisis. Video: IMF: Timing right for G7 IMF Calls for Aggressive Response to Crisis Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 05:32:02 GMT American space tourist blasts off in Soyuz rocket - The Associated Press
The Associated Press - BAIKONUR, Kazakhstan (AP) - A Soyuz spacecraft with two Americans and a Russian on board lifted off from Kazakhstan on Sunday for the international space station. Space Toilet Fixed – For Now Russia launches spacecraft with sixth space tourist Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 11:11:37 GMT McCain campaign's tone likened to George Wallace's - Newsday
Newsday - WASHINGTON - Rep. John Lewis, a Georgia Democrat and veteran of the civil rights movement, says the negative tone of the Republican presidential campaign reminds him of the hateful atmosphere segregationist Gov. McCain in 'hatred' war of words Obama thanks, jabs at McCain Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 09:27:11 GMT Increase Web Traffic |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... The most common medications used in the treatment of Attention... Read More People always ask my wife and I: "How did you... Read More Teaching kids to deal with conflict effectively and peacefully is... Read More Vacations are fun ! Weekends with the family are nice.... Read More Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?For children... Read More One of the most prevalent problems of the computer age... Read More Children think money grows on trees. Maybe not literally, but... Read More By the time your children reach their teens, there is... Read More Bi-Polar Disorder, or Manic Depression, is characterized by mood swings,... Read More Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More When it comes to the treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity... Read More Here are some tips that I have picked up from... Read More Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More When is a person brilliant? When does a person show... Read More Something happened the other day that made me feel uneasy.... Read More Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More For the most positive daycare experience for your child, partner... Read More KIDS AND THE NEWSMore than ever, children witness innumerable, sometimes... Read More Parents of hyperactive children know the "Would you please just... Read More 10 Fun Things You Can Do With Your Children this... Read More It used to strike me as odd - but really,... Read More "I don't know and I don't care."I've heard those words... Read More At age seven months in the womb, humans begin language... Read More Do you have a high maintenance child?"Thank goodness my second... Read More Here are some things that you can do to help... Read More
Adsense
websites
Intro to Medications for ADD ADHD
First Year With Twins - A Father?s Point Of View
Teach Your Children How To Resolve Conflict Without Using Anger Or Power
Late Night Adventures with Your Children
Spending Time With Your Child
Simple Tricks To Help You And Your Kids To Find Friends
Is Your Child Ready For an Allowance?
Role Models for Your Teen
Is it ADHD or Bi-Polar Disorder?
You Goofed? Hip, Hip, Hooray!
Using Diet, Counseling, and Attend to Overcome ADHD
Old Wives Tales and Other Things That Just Might Help with ADHD
Celebrating Life with Children in September
Develop Your Childs Genius: One Step Farther
Responsible Fatherhood - A Unique And Irreplaceable Role!
Ten Ways To Become Your Teenagers Best Friend
Partnering With Your Daycare or Preschool
Should Your Child Watch TV News? Surprising Opinions of Top Anchors
Calming Tips for Hyperactive Children
Fun Things to Do with Your Kids this Summer
Parenting Confidence - Who Needs It?
ParentingYour Teenager: Dont Buy the I Dont Know and I Dont Care Attitude
Growing Good People
Raising A High Maintenance Child
Helping Your Child Develop
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
Nurtured by Love or Matured by Nature?
"There is nothing new under the sun," states Ecclesiastes 1:9.... Read More
Adoption: Laughter and Tears
If you ever walk through an orphanage, it will be... Read More
The Child Chef
If you really want to get your children to eat... Read More
Im a Father, Doesnt Anyone Care?
The snow was getting heavier with each lift of the... Read More
Parental Internet Control Tips
The Internet is one of the greatest inventions of all... Read More
Twin and Multiple Births are on the Rise
Did you know that the number of twin births have... Read More
Uniforms
Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More
7 Ways to Know Your Child
How well do you really know your child?There is so... Read More
Public Schools Can Cripple Your Childrens Ability To Read
For many adults, reading a book or newspaper seems effortless.... Read More
Diana, Princess of Whales
Younger generations unfortunately will not understand how larger than life... Read More
Handling Failure -- Teaching Kids How to Profit From It
There is nothing pleasant about failure, at least not at... Read More
Top Three Reasons To Get Involved At Your Childs School
You may think once your child has gone off to... Read More
SMUT Spelled Backwards is TUMS
Why are more people, especially parents not outraged?I call it... Read More
7 Ways Busy Families Can Volunteer
Volunteering together is a fantastic way to spend time as... Read More
Dealing with Lying: The Dos and Donts
Jason Roberts listened to his son's explanation of the missing... Read More
Quality Time?
There's a phrase that's become popular over the past few... Read More
Bless Your Child With The Name
What a dreamer I am when thinking about parenthood. Most... Read More
Top 25 Children Quotations
"You can learn many things from children. How much patience... Read More
Are Parents Trying Too Hard?
One of the implications of the current trend toward smaller... Read More
The Forgotten Secret of the Ancient Greeks that Shows Us How to Keep Our Teenagers Out of Trouble
To every thing there is a season, and a time... Read More
How to Help Your Child be Successful in Kindergarten
Your child's first year of school should be a fun... Read More
Friendships - Helping Children Develop Friendship Skills
Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More
Stop, Look, Listen! Steps to Better Parenting Communication
As a parent is seems that the majority of your... Read More
How To Homeschool Without Making Your Child An Outcast
If you are currently homeschooling or considering homeschooling your child,... Read More
Parenting Your Teenager: Teens and Violence
I have a bit of a different response than most... Read More
Parenting |