How on earth can you help your family cope with the anxiety and fear that natural disasters strike into the heart of everyone?
In early 2005, for example, the world was rocked by the tsunami in South East Asia that killed thousands and left many homeless and orphaned.
Yet, at the Edinburgh International Festival yesterday I saw a group of Sri Lankan children, all victims of this natural disaster, perform a dance routine based on a play by Shakespeare.
Their smiling faces and youthful exuberance left no one in any doubt that these kids had not only survived, but had been helped to grieve, move on, and live life to the full again.
It can be done.
But what of our own kids, who have not suffered the actual experience of a disaster? They may nevertheless fall prey to an insidious and potentially devastating trauma.
This is unacknowledged fear or anxiety, and many parents may be unaware that it's happening to their own kids under their very noses.
I say unacknowledged anxiety because often children themselves don't recognise it for what it is. And that's when real trouble starts!
Often our kids witness disasters on TV. If they're shocked or horrified, and are reluctant to talk about their response, the fear can become repressed. It then manifests in 'side effects' such as physical ailments, school problems, relationship difficulties, or loss of confidence.
So what can parents do to help?
First of all we must realise that kids take in more than we think they do.
For example, when the AIDS crisis was preoccupying every radio and TV station in the western world it never dawned on my wife and I that our young kids would even think about it. We thought they were too wrapped up in Star Wars or The Care Bears or whatever the current fads were.
We noticed that one of our sons was becoming untypically fretful and anxious, and wasn't sleeping well.
During a particularly bad episode one night, it all came out. He didn't know what the AIDS crisis was, but it terrified him! He was shaking uncontrollably, and thought we were all going to die horrible deaths very soon.
We overcame this problem, and I've since learned that our son's reaction was similar to that of many kids' when they don't fully understand something - and we parents go about our business in blissful ignorance!
So first of all, be aware that natural disasters, and even human atrocities like terrorist events, can make a deep impact on even very young children.
Bring the kids into the discussion. Avoid playing down the reality of these events, and allow the kids to express their feelings openly and frankly.
Having dealt with the horrors - and trust me, the kids will feel better after talking about them! - concentrate on other aspects of the subject.
First of all, make a frank assessment of the likelihood of it happening to them.
If there's been an earthquake somewhere, and you live in an area that's not likely to be affected by one, let them know. If you do live in an earthquake zone, stress the procedures to be followed in the event.
But also look for the GOOD springing from disasters or accidents: people rally round; poor countries have their debts written off; measures are taken (such as building sea walls and early detectors) to ensure the disaster doesn't happen again . . . And discuss ways the kids themselves can help, like fund raising.
Most importantly, provide emotional support when fear strikes. The awareness that there's a strong, warm, comforting adult presence - a pillar of strength in their lives - can work wonders.
To sum up: Be aware of the kids' reactions, talk out their fears, look for ways to take helpful action, and provide the emotional support your kids need.
Do this, and you can rest assured your kids will cope with the news of disasters and atrocities, which in modern life are all too inevitable.
Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to develop your parenting skills and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages, http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.ht ml and http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html a>
![]() Google News Updated : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 14:08:18 GMT Ike blasts Turks and Caicos as Category 4 storm - The Associated Press
The Associated Press - PROVIDENCIALES, Turks and Caicos (AP) - Hurricane Ike damaged most of the homes on Grand Turk island as it roared onto the Bahamas, raked Haiti's flooded cities with rain and threatened the Florida Keys on its way to Cuba as a ferocious Category 4 ... Video: Haiti suffers floods as Hurricane Ike hits Caribbean - 07 Sep 08 Eyewitness: Waiting for Ike Publ.Date : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 13:20:36 GMT Land Of Big Science - Newsweek
Newsweek - The Large Hadron Collider is a symptom of America's decline in particle physics and, some fear, in science overall. By Fred Guterl, William Underhill and Sarah Garland | NEWSWEEK Please fill in the following information and we'll email this link. The Final Touches For The Large Hadron Collider's Launch When European physicists bring their monstrous supercollider to ... Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 17:13:15 GMT Gates outacts Seinfeld in Back To The Future - CNET News
CNET News - Which is why Crispin Porter Bogusky, the agency responsible for the otherworldly new Microsoft TV spot featuring the clowning Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld, is already happy. Microsoft's Renewed Vista Strategy Journals week in review: news from One Microsoft Way Publ.Date : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 00:01:52 GMT 'True Blood': Something More Than Human - PopMatters
PopMatters - by Cynthia Fuchs Bill Maher thinks vampires may be overstepping by demanding “basic civil rights just like everyone else.” He asks his guest on Real Time, a representative for the American Vampire League, “Doesn’t your race have a sordid history of ... 'Six Feet Under' creator behind HBO's 'True Blood' 'True Blood': Undead On Arrival Publ.Date : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 13:11:56 GMT Evans KOs Liddell at UFC 88 - FOXSports.com
FOXSports.com - by Elias Cepeda, InsideFighting.com Rashad Evans shot himself straight to the top of the long list of challengers in the UFC's light heavyweight division with a devastating knockout win over the sport of MMA's top name and former champion, ... Liddell Loses Luster With UFC Defeat To Evans Rashad Evans knocks out Chuck Liddell Publ.Date : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 06:18:30 GMT Health Highlights: Sept. 7 2008 - U.S. News & World Report
U.S. News & World Report - On the heels of the huge nationwide salmonella outbreak that caused more than 1400 illnesses from Mexican peppers, a regional Oregon alfalfa sprout distributor has recalled its product in Oregon and Washington state after the sprouts were linked to 13 ... Salmonellosis outbreak prompts sprout recall Salmonella outbreak traced to alfalfa sprouts Publ.Date : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 13:07:54 GMT No. 4 Florida Pulls Away From Miami For Win - AHN
AHN - Gainesville, FL (AHN) - Tim Tebow threw for 256 yards and two touchdowns, lifting No. 4 Florida to a 26-3 win over in-state rival Miami Saturday. Marve's debut gives Miami (Fla.) reason for hope Tim Tebow leads Florida past Miami Publ.Date : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 13:39:03 GMT Increase Online Traffic |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... As a parent, you probably know that the birthday party... Read More Would you hand a child calculus problems once she was... Read More While most fathers aspire to become the best Dads they... Read More So you have just returned home from your third meeting... Read More What is Happening in the brain of children, teens, and... Read More Best friends! It may seem impossible to believe, but today's... Read More This year alone, 1,600 teenagers aged 15 to 19 will... Read More Not many things are more upsetting than discovering that your... Read More Researched through personal experience!Budget Your Money. Even if you are... Read More Many children who suffer from the psychological effects of child... Read More For first time parents choosing a swing set or outdoor... Read More In our last article about the neurology of ADHD we... Read More Think back to your own childhood. Chances are, some of... Read More All too often, children with learning disabilities are seen through... Read More Late vs. Too LateEvery now and then, I'll hear a... Read More "Where did he come up with that?" Kids often amaze... Read More We are all so very happy to see that the... Read More Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More WHEN AN INJURY HAPPENS AT CAMP, HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED... Read More O.K. I've heard it a hundred times from my prison... Read More For the first year or two of life outside the... Read More Researchers have estimated that 25-35% of children in the United... Read More The school holidays are a great time for the kids,... Read More Night Visits From Your ChildIn the middle of the night... Read More When you talk about multiply your child's intelligence, you can't... Read More
Adsense
websites
Hold a Childs Birthday Party for Charity
Kids and Sports: Fundamentals First
From Good to GREAT: Secrets On Becoming A Better Dad
What Makes a Good Evaluation for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?
The Neurology of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Part One
Ten Ways To Become Your Teenagers Best Friend
How to Talk to Your Kids About Suicide: New Study Says it May Make Them Less Likely to Consider It!
End Babysitter Abuse
Keeping the Stress out of Single Parenting
Psychological Effects of Child Abuse
Swing Sets and Outdoor Play Equipment- 5 Essential Tips Before You Buy
The Reticular Activating System, and its Role in Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
Send the Kids Outside!
Strengths and Weaknesses
Parenting Your Teenager: Late vs. Too Late, and 5 More Sure Fire Tips
How to Raise Creative Kids
Teaching Kids to Read
Parents: You Can Do Something About Professional Sports Ethics
CAMP INJURIES- 7 Things You Must Know
I Dont Believe in ADHD
Motivation - The Key to Your Childs Educational Success
Challenges for Our Children
School Holiday Survival Guide
Trip, Trip, Trip... Here Is Your Night Visitor Again!
How to Give Your Child Encyclopedic Knowledge?
Creating and making special memories with your child is very... Read More
Summertime means insect bites and stings. Ouch! Take a leaf... Read More
There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More
Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped... Read More
This year alone, 1,600 teenagers aged 15 to 19 will... Read More
Q. I don't like my children spending so much time... Read More
17 Quick Ways to Strengthen the Bonds of LoveOn Mother's... Read More
You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More
Our children are growing up bilingual in the French part... Read More
Before my daughter was born my house was... Read More
"He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More
In our last issue we posted some of our suggested... Read More
Maryann is so focused she's blind. She's slipped over the... Read More
The cruel callous remarks made by our offspring can sometimes... Read More
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational... Read More
Vouchers, which give tax money to parents to pay for... Read More
Under the "No Child Left Behind Act," public schools whose... Read More
How can two or three children in the same family... Read More
Perhaps I could make a lot of money by founding... Read More
Much has been said about the "gifted child" but in... Read More
``Mom, can I go to the mall with my friend... Read More
What do you do when your child begins talking to... Read More
1. Tell me something you like about yourself? Help your... Read More
Seven-year old Michael was on a school trip to a... Read More
By the time your children reach their teens, there is... Read More
Parenting |