My Teenaged Parents
Frankly, as a single parent of young children, I struggled. But, as the single parent of teenagers, I stunk! Faced with the reality of children who could (and did) do whatever they really, really wanted to do, I was often baffled.
Functioning as the caregiver of two adult parents, I again find myself baffled. But I am sure of one thing -- It's no wonder many caregivers die before the elders they care for! They simply wear out!
Consider this recent exchange:
ME: "How is that new medication working?"
PARENT: "It doesn't work. I still feel sick."
ME: "OK, call the doctor and tell him."
PARENT: "I can't. He doesn't answer calls on the weekend."
ME: "Well, someone does."
PARENT: "No, they just tell me to go to the emergency room."
ME: "OK, call the doctor's office on Monday."
PARENT: "Well, he doesn't have anything better to offer."
ME: "How do you know?"
PARENT: "He never does."
ME: "Well, call anyway, OK?"
PARENT: "He doesn't pay any attention to me."
ME: "He can't help if he doesn't know you're still sick. So, call, OK?"
PARENT: mumbles something unintelligible.
ME on MONDAY: "Did you call the doctor?"
PARENT: "No, I'm feeling better today."
ME: "Well, how about I go to the doctor with you?"
PARENT: "No, I'm not a child. And I don't want you treating me like one!"
I've run headlong into these issues more and more often of late. It's enough to drive you to drink - or whatever it is you do to deal with unending frustration. After all, these are my parents - and they are adults. . .or at least they used to be.
Could I get help? You can guess the answer! Something about hell freezing over.
I'm not about to win this battle, but I could use a friend during some of the more serious skirmishes. Here are a few things that could really lift my spirits:
Come over. Don't send flowers. They're just something else to take care of. But a home-cooked meal would be great.
Stay and serve it. Even greater!
Call often. Not me, my parents. Give them someone else to vent to.
Be a chauffer. Take them to the doctor, to shop, whatever. Just take them off my hands for a little while.
Start a "Caregiver's Day Out" at your church, synagogue or temple. Give me a break - just a few hours would be wonderful.
Suggest a companion from the Senior Corps. These retired adults spend 10-20 hours each week being a companion to shut-ins. If you're retired, consider becoming one yourself.
Lobby your Representatives and Senators for more funding for Adult Day Care Centers. The nearest one to me is 45 miles away and does not provide transportation.
Some people believe that life is a school with lessons for each of us. If so, my lesson is patience. I know I have to grow it for myself. . .but, please, rally round in the meanwhile. My patience cells are still infants!
About The Author
Phyllis Staff, Ph.D. - Phyllis Staff is an experimental psychologist and the CEO of The Best Is Yet.Net, an internet company that helps seniors and caregivers find trustworthy residential care. She is the author of How to Find Great Senior Housing: A Roadmap for Elders and Those Who Love Them. She is also the daughter of a victim of Alzheimer's disease. Visit the author's web site at http://www.thebestisyet.net
 Google News Updated : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 02:08:49 GMT Cage's 'Bangkok' tops worst movie weekend since 2001 - USA Today
USA Today - By Scott Bowles, USA TODAY After a record $4.2 billion in movie ticket sales this summer, the industry suffered its worst weekend in seven years, with the top movie at the box office doing less than $8 million. Video: 'Bangkok Dangerous' - Not a Safe Bet Fall box office off to slow start Publ.Date : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 16:23:28 GMT Populists Gain Seats in Election in Hong Kong - New York Times
New York Times - By KEITH BRADSHER HONG KONG - Chinese national pride after the Olympics and growing distress over inflation combined to produce a leftward shift in legislative elections here on Sunday. Hong Kong Democrats Retain Veto Bloc in Legislative Elections Key wins for Hong Kong opposition Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 01:32:36 GMT Prime Minister Chances Early Election in Canada - New York Times New York Times - By IAN AUSTEN OTTAWA - Prime Minister Stephen Harper, putting aside the date he had set by law, formally propelled Canada into a federal election campaign on Sunday. Canadian PM calls October election With economy slow, Canada to hold early elections Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 01:06:35 GMT Patriots overcome injury to Brady, top Chiefs - Sports Network
Sports Network - Foxboro, MA (Sports Network) - Randy Moss had six receptions for 116 yards and a touchdown as New England overcame an early injury to quarterback Tom Brady to escape Kansas City, 17-10, in the season-opener for both clubs at Gillette Stadium. Patriots QB Brady out of opener vs. Chiefs Cassel comes through for Patriots Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 01:15:11 GMT Falcons head coach: ‘Matt did a very good job’ - Atlanta Journal Constitution
Atlanta Journal Constitution - By CARROLL ROGERS Q. How did the third play - the touchdown from Matt Ryan to Michael Jenkins - develop? New Falcons head coach Mike Smith said of Matt Ryan, ‘It was a great way to see our rookie quarterback throw his first NFL pass. In-game analysis of the Lions' loss in Atlanta Lions' poor tackling about talent, not coaching Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 01:30:18 GMT Veteran Financiers to Head Fannie, Freddie - Washington Post
Washington Post - By Thomas Heath and Dina ElBoghdady The new chief executives at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac have long histories in the financial services industry. Video: Feds Take Over Mortgage Giants FDIC to help small banks with Fannie, Freddie exposure Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 01:46:18 GMT Health Highlights: Sept. 6, 2008 - Washington Post
Washington Post - On the heels of the huge nationwide salmonella outbreak that caused more than 1400 illnesses from Mexican peppers, a regional Oregon alfalfa sprout distributor has recalled its product in Oregon and Washington state after the sprouts were linked to 13 ... Salmonellosis outbreak prompts sprout recall Salmonella outbreak traced to alfalfa sprouts Publ.Date : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 16:31:13 GMT RSS For Web Pages |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... I recall somewhere in the recesses of my aging brain... Read More LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend,... Read More I remember when my daughter was born, later my son.... Read More The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children... Read More I love Google and Yahoo. With Google and Yahoo I... Read More There are many things to like about the television show... Read More 1. The Law of the BeastAs parents we need to... Read More What are we teaching our children about money? Hopefully something!I... Read More As with everything, names go through cycles of change with... Read More Incest is sexual activity, ranging from fondling to intercourse, between... Read More One of the challenges for parents with a gifted child... Read More Are you a frustrated parent who sometimes finds it is... Read More Direct Answers - Column for the week of May 31,... Read More Here's a scene: A parent "might suddenly grab a happliy... Read More School authorities often complain that classes are too large. They... Read More As a parent your biggest responsibility is to prepare your... Read More In dealing with children with autism spectrum disorders, its all... Read More How would you like to have more time? Of course... Read More Valentine day has always been a special day in my... Read More Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children... Read More Imagine a child who lacks ownership of his own life,... Read More The successful preschool idea behind many successful preschool learning centers... Read More Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More Now I know that is not how the song goes,... Read More Are you feeling overwhelmed being a parent? Do you want... Read More
Adsense
websites
Son, Can I Use The Car Tonight?
Summer Marks the Time to Remember Active Supervision Around Family Swimming Pools
10 Points on Children for the New Parent
Child Discipline - Be Consistent With Your Child
Let?s Google and Yahoo Our Kids? Education
Super Nanny - A Users Guide to Watching Super Nanny
Parents of Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers: 7 Universal Laws
Teach Your Child About Money
Fuzzy Names, Sweet Names
What is Incest?
Gifted Children - Getting the Balance Right
Kids, Chores & More
Uniforms
Developing a Fantastic Relationship with Your Child
Surprise ? Public School Class Size Doesnt Matter Very Much
Be Serious With Your Child Future
Entering Their Imaginative World
Parenting Your Teenager: The 4 Ds of Time with Family
My Sweet Little Valentine
Top Ten Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids
Boundaries - Why Theyre Needed
A Good Preschool Idea
The Great Baby Name Debate
Stay at Home Mom You Need to Raise Cowboys
?I?M OVERWHELMED? -- 5 Tips On How Parents Can Take Control Of Their Lives
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
Intermission: Wood Chips
I wanted to share with you one of the most... Read More
Your Company Vehicle is a Portable Bill Board; A word of advice on children passengers
Child Safety Restraints and children in work vehiclesIf you take... Read More
How to Foster a Love of Reading and Writing in Your Child
The key to lifelong learning is reading and writing. When... Read More
Screaming Kids Driving You Nuts? Four Rules to Help You Keep Your Sanity!
Often I will hear parents say, "I just ignore Jr.... Read More
Children Who Talk to Angels
What do you do when your child begins talking to... Read More
Parent Involvement: Finding Your Way in Middle School and High School
In elementary school it's pretty straightforward: bringing in cupcakes to... Read More
More Water, Not Less, Will Help End Bedwetting
Children are notoriously bad at drinking enough liquids. They are... Read More
Character Education
Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More
Building Teen Character: Part-Time Employment
The teenage years are a crucial time in a child's... Read More
The Benefits of Music Education
Despite serious reductions in funding for arts programs in... Read More
Ritalin (Methylphenidate) in the Treatment of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
Ritalin is a good medication with a bad reputation. Its... Read More
How Do You Find the Best Car Seat to Protect Your Child
Choosing a good car seat for your child's protection is... Read More
Clean Slates and Fresh Starts
Hope, excitement and anxiety all wrapped up in fresh haircuts... Read More
10 Steps To Prepare You For Life With Children
It's hard to explain to the uninitiated the changes that... Read More
Reclaiming Her Identity: A Mothers Diary
After giving up my profession to become a wife, a... Read More
The B Word
Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More
Missing The Bus
As a step daughter and step grand daughter, I followed... Read More
God Dont Like Rich People
I will never forget the day that my daughter's sixth... Read More
On Raising a Child with Disabilities: Sara & the Nail Salon
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
Beyond the Words, a Childs Voice
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More
Help Your Kids Learn More About Managing Their Personal Economy
Remember when cash was a tangible commodity in all of... Read More
The Top 10 Tips for Communicating with Children
Most people have more training before they receive their driver's... Read More
The Muffed Dance
Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More
Advocating for Your Child with LD
Advocate: you've probably heard the term before. But what does... Read More
Parenting in the Kitchen ? Lessons in Cooking, Socializing, and Bonding
Kitchens are where everything happens. It's not just where meals... Read More
Parenting |