I WONT DO IT! Tips for Working with the Oppositional Child

"I WON'T DO IT!" "YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!"

Whether parent or teacher, we have all "been there" and "done that" with a child exhibiting refusal behaviors. Before "losing your cool" and your power as well, interventions and strategies are provided for use to help deescalate this classic power struggle.

-Avoid placing yourself in a stand-off situation with the child.

-Don't "mark a line in the sand" unless prepared to follow through with the consequences on your own. Creating a demand situation?."You will sit in your seat or I will call someone to seat you"?.will cause the authority figure to lose his/her power. This is a main goal of oppositional children?personal control over their environment.

-Under a demand situation, especially with authority figures, an oppositional child will be more likely to escalate to extreme opposition. Stop talking. Give the child a chance to detach from the situation with some power. Problem-solving the situation when both parties are calm will prove more productive.

-Phrase requests which are more likely to bring an oppositional response with a negative statement?"I don't expect you would want to?." Or "You probably wouldn't want to?.."

-Create a situation where it is more worth the child's while to be part of.

-Use distraction.

-Give choices which give the student some control.

-Give the student a specific leadership role during stressful transitions, such as day care dismissal. Monitoring younger children for appropriate dismissal behavior, such as sitting quietly, would be an example of a specific leadership role.

These children can be extremely challenging. Should a pattern of continuing emotionality become evident, additional advice from professionals, such as the child's pediatrician or a school guidance counselor, would be recommended in order to develop a positive behavior support system to help ensure behavioral success.

Sheree S. Marty has worked with elementary school children as a school counselor for the past nine years. A physical education teacher for thirteen years, Ms. Marty earned her Master degree in Counseling in 2000. Ms. Marty is the author and owner of "Chinese Jump Rope", a childrens games book and website. For more information, visit http://chinesejumprope.tripod.com

---

Google News Updated : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 08:08:57 GMT McCain Leads Obama 50% to 46%, New Poll Finds, USA Today Reports - Bloomberg McCain Leads Obama 50% to 46%, New Poll Finds, USA Today Reports Bloomberg - 30 minutes ago By James Kraus Sept. 8 (Bloomberg) -- Republican presidential candidate John McCain leads Democratic contender Barack Obama by 50 percent to 46 percent among registered voters, according to a weekend USA Today/Gallup Poll, USA Today reported. Convention rejuvenates GOP USA Today US campaign sharpens as McCain takes poll lead AFP Reuters - The Associated Press - KVOA.com - Boston Herald all 767 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:38:07 GMT Hurricane Ike Crosses Northeast Cuba After Landfall (Update1) - Bloomberg RTE.ie Hurricane Ike Crosses Northeast Cuba After Landfall (Update1) Bloomberg - 1 hour ago By Aaron Sheldrick and Demian McLean Sept. 8 (Bloomberg) -- Hurricane Ike is crossing Cuba after smashing into the northeast of the country with winds of 205 kilometers (125 miles) per hour, according to the US National Hurricane Center. Video: Raw Video: Ike's Harsh Impact on Turks and Caico AssociatedPress Hurricane Ike set to batter Cuba BBC News Los Angeles Times - Reuters - Reuters UK - CNN International all 4,240 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 06:56:09 GMT Store eases baby bottleneck - Chicago Tribune dBTechno Store eases baby bottleneck Chicago Tribune - 19 hours ago When Georgette Finnie e-mailed What's Your Problem? on Aug. 25, she was 9 months' pregnant with her first child. The expectant mom had done some research about the baby bottles she had received as gifts through her baby registry at Babies "R" Us. Hot Docs: Defending Georgia, Girls Married by 15, the Chemical BPA ... U.S. News & World Report That Plastic Baby Bottle New York Times Food Consumer - Washington Post - Times of India - eFluxMedia all 362 news articles Publ.Date : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 12:18:53 GMT New Zealand compromises on India nuclear deal - Xinhua BBC News New Zealand compromises on India nuclear deal Xinhua - 32 minutes ago WELLINGTON, Sept. 8 (Xinhua) -- The New Zealand government said on Monday that it got the best deal it could on nuclear trade with India. Indian shares rise more than 4 pct early Reuters Indian rupee rises as stocks rally seen Reuters India Inter Press Service - Monsters and Critics.com - Financial Times - Washington Post all 2,384 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:36:42 GMT Fla. Keys residents weigh evacuation ahead of Ike - The Associated Press China Daily Fla. Keys residents weigh evacuation ahead of Ike The Associated Press - 48 minutes ago KEY WEST, Fla. (AP) - As a ferocious Hurricane Ike ripped across Cuba, residents from Key West to the Gulf Coast watched the storm's unpredictable path, worrying it could hit anywhere in the US from Texas to Florida. 'Hurricane fatigue' shows DetNews.com Louisiana still possibility for Ike Opelousas Daily World Biloxi Sun Herald - The News-Press - Reiten Television KXMB Bismarck - Carlsbad Current Argus all 1,660 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:20:42 GMT "Stand Up to Cancer" tops Friday ratings - Reuters ABC News "Stand Up to Cancer" tops Friday ratings Reuters - 31 minutes ago By Paul J. Gough NEW YORK (Hollywood Reporter) - The industrywide "Stand Up to Cancer" telethon averaged a modest 10.3 million viewers during its hour-long simulcast on ABC, NBC and CBS Friday. In a star-heavy telethon, Hollywood takes a stand on cancer Boston Globe 'Stand Up to Cancer' Raises $100M Plus ABC News The Associated Press - Orlando Sentinel - Showbiz Spy all 164 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:37:28 GMT Persistence pays off for Serena at US Open - FOXSports.com ESPN Persistence pays off for Serena at US Open FOXSports.com - 30 minutes ago by Matt Cronin, Special to FOXSports.com NEW YORK - About nine days after Serena Williams lost in the Wimbledon final to her elder sister, Venus, she was still killing herself, unable to shake her mind of the errors that came late in a contest that she ... Williams beats Jankovic for title, No. 1 ranking San Francisco Chronicle Winning US Open never gets old for Serena Williams Los Angeles Times Boston Globe - Sports Network - New York Times - ESPN all 2,499 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:38:21 GMT Affiliate Data Feeds Amazon Associate Software

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Child Discipline - Be Consistent With Your Child

The biggest complaint you hear from parents about their children... Read More

Is it Attention Deficit Disorder or is it Tourettes Syndrome?

During the assessment process it is of great importance for... Read More

Top 20+ Reasons to Pay your Kid an Allowance

1. They can make mistakes under your guidance2. They will... Read More

Home For The Holidays: Is it Time for That Talk?

Just a couple of years ago Annie helped her parents... Read More

Handling Failure -- Teaching Kids How to Profit From It

There is nothing pleasant about failure, at least not at... Read More

The B Word

Former students would probably attest to the fact that few... Read More

Children, Entitlement and God

"Setting the alarm on Sunday mornings is inhuman?..God should know... Read More

The Muffed Dance

Teri was 5. As younger siblings do, she looked up... Read More

Girls Gone Mild

Voices!So many voices crying out for adherence and so many... Read More

How Can I Teach My Child To Be Responsible?

Most of us when asked what we want our children... Read More

Minimizing Homework Hassles

John Bishop's Goal Setting for Students.comParents ? Minimize Homework Hassles?It's... Read More

Kids Party Etiquette for Parents

Ever feel like you're out of the loop when it... Read More

From Childrens Stories to Study Skills: Help Your Children Succeed in School

IntroductionAs a parent who wants the best for your children,... Read More

Top Ten Common Sense Rules for Fathers

There are a lot of sophisticated parenting theories and techniques... Read More

Parenting: 6 Observations on Fatherhood

Just the other day my oldest son asked:"Daddy, am I... Read More

Meningitis and Septicaemia

Meningitis is an inflammation of the membranes around the brain... Read More

People of the Century by Dan Rather

Dan Rather made a significant and tactical error and got... Read More

Parents: You Can Do Something About Professional Sports Ethics

Most of us can agree that there is a lack... Read More

How Many Sex Offenders Live On Your Block?

For any parent, learning that a convicted sex offender lives... Read More

Public Schools Can Cripple Your Childrens Ability To Read

For many adults, reading a book or newspaper seems effortless.... Read More

Guide to Choosing a Computer System for Your Child

Before going further into choosing computers for children, I believe... Read More

Why Consistency Is The Key To Raising Well-behaved Kids

Being consistent when children are less than perfect can make... Read More

Building Self Confidence

Several similar terms describe the central attribute of a character... Read More

Renee?s Mommy is Here

I still remember the scene vividly. I was getting out... Read More

End Homework Battles

Ask parents what their biggest school year challenge is, and... Read More