I Cant Sleep Without You
When my firstborn arrived into this serene and peaceful household, my entire world was transformed into a warzone and funfare at the same time. He became the focus of my attention throughout the entire day and I live to make sure he is alright. I made sure his food contained just the right amount of nutrients, helped stimulated him with playtime, read to him, slept with him.
You see, offering cuddles and hugs is not the usual reward or privilege we got when me and my siblings were kids. Infact, it was quite unheard of. Sure, we had the usual dosages of "Good girl" and a hug but me and my parents never hugged as much as I hug with my kid. We can even go into a hug-athon when we want to. Hugging, kissing, hugging, kissing, hugging....etc.
Sleeping with my child came naturally to me and my husband. It felt so good to hold his hand or drape a careless arm over his tummy while we slumber. It's so comfortable and proves to be a suitable and close-to-perfect setting for us.
Sure, I was warned about not being able to make him sleep in his own bed later on and stuffs but my need to sleep with my child supercedes those warning. I didn't mind getting kicked in the face once too many times in the night. I didn't mind getting jumped on in the morning.
Now, the problem is not my son. It's me. My son can sleep perfectly fine without me. It's me who can't sleep without him beside me! I know, I am so terrible at this. I need to feel that he is near me in order to even have a short shut-eye.
Now who's dependent on whom?
I tried placing him on our bed, lulling him to sleep and then moving him onto the crib before I sleep. Didn't work cause NOW I CAN'T sleep. I'd make a very calculated guess that my husband feels the same way about the sleeping arrangement although I would say he feels a little less committed to the approach. He sure could sleep when he needed to. But of course, I have been the one who had to consistently put the child to bed and I have gotten accustomed to the feeling of that little body and those tiny fingers intertwined with mine.
A little basics here for sleeping with a baby nearby.
If you don't like it, stop it. Try getting your baby to sleep on his own as soon as you possibly can. If you're unlike me, it's best to make sure you can get as much rest as possible. Sleeping in another room or in another bed is as possible as sleeping WITH baby. Besides, there's been many reports about sleeping with baby in bed, which includes the possibility of snuffling baby or rolling over the slumbering tot while the adults are in deep sleep.
If you're sleeping with baby in the middle (that means between you and your partner), try moving baby to the other side of the bed. That means, to one side. The bed would have to be leaning against a wall or something concrete in order to prevent baby from falling off the bed. This sleeping arrangement could help you and your partner bond better, especially when you need an adult cuddle in the middle of the night, instead of a baby one.
If you like sleeping with your child, then you might have to endure some unwanted advice from others who have already helped their toddlers to sleep alone in their own beds. Every set of parents have different expectations and standards of raising their children and your friend/relative is not any different. Their advices are probably made in good will and they think what they're doing is the absolute right thing. Never squabble with your friends/relatives about issues like this one. The best way is to smile and react as little as possible by saying things like, "He's thriving and we love the arrangement now. Thanks anyway".
I have once heard this saying which goes like this, "Once you give birth to a child, you will henceforth spend the rest of your life seperating yourself from him". That is so so so so true. I couldn't agree more with that. You see, I can't sleep alone (without my child) because I don't want to seperate myself from him. He gives me security and I know he is safe sleeping with me. I am a breath away from saving him in "life threatening" situations. I want to know that he's so close I can breathe his scent. I can't seperate myself from him. I know I will have to someday.
The most important thing for me to do, is to slowly ease myself out of this habit and this need. For one, I am being selfish when I choose an arrangement which fits me best. I need to follow my child's lead if he appears to WANT or is READY to sleep on his own.
Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and writer who is working out of her home in Selangor, Malaysia. She lives in PJ with her husband, Peter and 2 sons, Joshua and Jared. Marsha is the author of "Raising little magicians", "No Products to Sell" and other books. For more information on Marsha, visit http://www.marshamaung.com and to find out mroe about her books, visit http://www.lulu.com/marshamaung.
 Google News Updated : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 02:05:17 GMT Boeing workers frustrated, angry at strike delay - Reuters
Reuters - By Laura Myers EVERETT, Washington (Reuters) - Less than a day after voting to strike, Boeing workers expressed frustration and anger on Thursday at the decision by union leaders to postpone a walkout and negotiate further with the company. Boeing, Machinists Return to Talks to Avert Strike (Update1) SPEEA Supports IAM 751 Efforts to Secure a New Contract from Boeing Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 00:30:58 GMT McCain Will Vow an End to Partisanship in Convention Speech - Washington Post
Washington Post - By Chris Cillizza ST. PAUL, MINN. - Sen. John McCain will take the stage at the Xcel Center here in less than three hours to formally accept his party's presidential nomination and deliver an address that will kick-start a frenetic two-month general ... McCain will take GOP to task for losing its way McCain to Declare ‘Change Is Coming’ in Acceptance Speech Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 00:06:30 GMT Evacuations Are Advised as Storm Nears the Southeast - New York Times
New York Times - By ROBBIE BROWN ATLANTA - As Tropical Storm Hanna surged toward the Atlantic Coast on Thursday, the authorities declared states of emergency in Virginia and North Carolina and recommended evacuation from some coastal regions of South Carolina. Hanna May Reach Hurricane Force; Ike Looms Out at Sea (Update4) Southeast braces for Hanna as Ike strengthens Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 01:19:19 GMT Deaths Heighten Arthritis Drugs Warning - WebMD
WebMD - By Miranda Hitti Sept. 4, 2008 -- The FDA today ordered stronger warnings about the risk of potentially deadly fungal infections, especially one called histoplasmosis, in people taking the drugs Cimzia, Enbrel, Humira, and Remicade, which are called ... FDA Demands Tougher Warnings on Immunosuppressive Drugs FDA orders stronger warnings for 4 arthritis drugs Publ.Date : Thu, 04 Sep 2008 23:30:49 GMT Syria details its stance on peace talks - Ha'aretz
Ha'aretz - By Yoav Stern and Barak Ravid Syrian President Bashar Assad revealed details on the peace process with Israel yesterday, presenting Turkey with a document of principles, one of whose points discusses the desired extent of the withdrawal from the Golan ... Video: Sarkozy in Syria : the press is divided Syria: Israeli Peace Talks Postponed Publ.Date : Thu, 04 Sep 2008 23:53:30 GMT Abramoff Sentenced to 4 Years in Prison for Corruption - Washington Post
Washington Post - By Del Quentin Wilber and Carrie Johnson Jack Abramoff, the onetime powerhouse Republican lobbyist whose influence peddling led to one of the biggest public corruption investigations in recent history, was sentenced by a federal judge today to four ... US lobbyist is sentenced to 4 years in prison Abramoff sentenced to 4 years in prison Publ.Date : Thu, 04 Sep 2008 23:47:01 GMT Autism and measles vaccine: no link found -- again - Los Angeles Times Los Angeles Times - Suspicion that autism is triggered by childhood vaccinations -- notably the measles, mumps and rubella vaccine -- lingers on, even though studies repeatedly fail to find such a link. Study Finds No Autism Link in Vaccine Health Buzz: MMR Vaccine and Autism, and Other Health News Publ.Date : Thu, 04 Sep 2008 19:25:11 GMT Increase Traffic |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... Even as a busy parent, I'm sure you've seen a... Read More Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes... Read More How many times have you flipped through the pages of... Read More Being in a competitive world, the lowest qualification to secure... Read More A tall, weary-looking mother with glasses, walked into my counseling... Read More Our back-to-school buying habits do not help kids succeed in... Read More "He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More Q. My daughter is a junior in high school and... Read More Research literature, recent books, and common sense, all point to... Read More "All that I am or ever hope to be, I... Read More In the first premise, some films and video tapes which... Read More This is the third and final article in a series... Read More 1. They are leaders as well as parents. They don't... Read More Most teens go into the work world ill-prepared to manage... Read More Certainly we all want our children to excel. But it... Read More Q. When you consult with a family with teens, what... Read More Since so many would rather avoid the use of stimulant... Read More Q: My husband and I are at a loss as... Read More Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More You send your child to school and the teachers teach... Read More Do you live with an ADD / ADHD child? If... Read More Strattera came out around January of 2003, and is becoming... Read More Here is a top secret to make your child genius... Read More There's a new kind of fun and calm out there... Read More The brightly colored plastic mobile dangles lazily overhead in the... Read More
Adsense
websites
Poker Parenting: 4 Ways Poker Skills Produce Parenting Thrills
If your child is being bullied - 20 top tips for parents
Speaking on Behalf of Our Children: Stop Blaming the Victims
Want To Further Your Childrens Studies?
Guide Your Kids! This 3-D Map Leads to Character
Back to School - Disappontment?
A Chance for a Home
Parenting Your Teenager: When is it OK to Quit?
The Different Types, or Styles, of ADHD
Top 50 Mom Quotations
Film Industry and Our Youth
Raising Happy Diabetic Kids Part III Help Your Child Develop Self-Control
The Ten Things That Successful Parents Do
Parenting Your Teenager: Kids and Money
You Goofed? Hip, Hip, Hooray!
Parenting Your Teenager: The Bottom Line Issues
An Overview of Alternative Treatments for Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
Parenting Your Teenager: The Power Struggle
Resilient, Confident Kids - 10 Ways to Promote Resilience in Children
Is Your Child Learning Nothing?
ADD / ADHD Children : Being Your Childs Best Friend
What Should I Know About Strattera for ADHD?
Secret Of Your Genuis Child
The Better Behavior Wheel - A New Kind of Calm in the Family
Educational Toys And Childrens Books - A Must For Optimal Childhood Development
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
How To Foster An Environment For Successful Communications With Your Child
As parents, we strive to address all of the questions... Read More
Keeping Kids Safe on the Internet
The biggest trick some child predators' are using these days... Read More
Home And School Education - Your Kids Can Benefit From Both!
Once, as a Learning Support Teacher, I made my way... Read More
Why Creativity and Self-Expression are Important to Little Kids
Can you draw a straight line? Most adults don't consider... Read More
Advantages of Using a Board Certified Pediatrician
When a child is born, a new number is added... Read More
Friendships - Helping Children Develop Friendship Skills
Reasearch into children's friendships shows that those children who are... Read More
My Best Buddy
My son, Dakota is now 7 yrs old. He is... Read More
Parenting Your Teenager: The Teenager and the Gorilla
Q: A parent writes in to ask, "You write a... Read More
Americas Public School System --- Brutal and Spartan
The public school system in America has become a dismal... Read More
Picky Eater Syndrome
'Picky Eater' is a label coined to describe the phenomenon... Read More
The Seven Keys to Child Obedience
Learning obedience is an important part of child development. This... Read More
How You Can Help Your Child To Be An Avid Reader
Reading is the most efficient and economical way to help... Read More
Ten Tips to Stimulate Your Newborns Senses
A number of scientific studies have shown the way a... Read More
From Birth to Teen, Spirituality in Children
Until about the age of six, children do not generally... Read More
Tracking Your Child Progress
As a parent, you can learn a lot about your... Read More
Work Before Play
Many families, ours included, have learned that breakfast is eaten... Read More
Four Tips For Alleviating Back To School Anxiety
Back to school preparations are in full-swing. Soon, the first... Read More
STOP Parental Alienation Syndrome before It Gets a Chance to START
Parental Alienation Syndrome was probably first identified and codified by... Read More
What To Do When You Think Your Child Might Have AD/HD
AD/HD (attention deficit disorder) is one of the most common... Read More
Teenagers Taking Risks
It can be hard being a parent with a teen... Read More
Why A Father Is Not A Dad
It can be said that any man who procreates is... Read More
On Raising a Child with Disabilities: Sara & the Nail Salon
Sara loves pampering. Haircuts, facials, manicures, and makeup bring smiles,... Read More
The Truth Behind Having Children
In the beginning, having children was just a byproduct of... Read More
The Great Baby Name Debate
Winifred or Willow? Thomas or Troy? The name you choose... Read More
Summer Marks the Time to Remember Active Supervision Around Family Swimming Pools
LOS ANGELES (May 19, 2005) - With Memorial Day weekend,... Read More
Parenting |