Child Communication Skill: Do You Really Know What Your Child Is Saying To You?
Here's the scene of communication with your child: your three-year-old boy is bawling his eyes out. Hurriedly, you run over, and ask "What's wrong?". But no answer is spoken, the tears just keep coming out, and the vocal cords just keep on saying "waaaaaaah!".
You start talking to him in that sweet and soft voice of yours to cajole him to tell you what his problem is. You really want him to calm down now. But when he's asked questions like "Is something hurting you?" or "Are you hungry?" he doesn't answer. He just keeps on crying.
Your sweet soft voice keeps on going, hoping to find that magic breakthrough to get him to stop crying. After a while, the frustration builds up within you. You just can't get through to him. He's just not saying anything. The smoke starts to build up in your ears. You want to help, but there's this communication barrier now between you and your boy. So you persist, but still your boy ain't budging from his bawling.
So now what are you going to do?
What you're dealing with here is an issue of communication. Communication between people is a very complex process involving language, symbolism, nuances, non-verbal signals and so on. All the more so with young children. Because of their young age and lack of education, development and experience in communicating themselves, they can often have nearly-impossible-to-overcome barriers in trying to express themselves.
You probably wish to have the kind of home environment where:
not only your kids say what they think or feel but also... you can understand them all the time. You need to break down those barriers of communication that keep you from fulfilling your relationships with your kids. You can be a part of their lives in a very healthy and helpful way.
Would you believe that children who are actually good and well-meaning become "bad" children simply because they are frustrated over wanting to express a simple feeling or idea? Imagine this: They want or need something. But they cannot express it because they don't know how.
So they do what they know. Like doing something around the house that's not allowed -break a toy, scream, cry, pull their younger sibling's hair, etc.
Do you (or any other parent) want such a thing in your home? Probably not.
You can find out for yourself that with a few steps, you can go a long way to overcoming some of these communication barriers. Develop routines and habits with your children during those times when all is going well, so that when the crisis does come, you are already prepared for it. It works the same way as preventive medicine. Work with the issue BEFORE it becomes a problem.
On your own you can try a few of these pointers. Have in your mind the goal that you want to achieve- a freely flowing communication with your children. You and your children should be able to talk to one another in a very calm expressive way using words, sentences, gestures, facial expressions and the like. (Note: This means that yelling and screaming in anger is NOT considered a healthy communication. It will often result in the listener reacting to the outburst in a unhealthy way. This is especially true for when parents yell at their children.)
Take upon yourself to try some of the following exercises, and see what the results are:
1) Show the child that you are ready to listen and pay full attention to what the child is saying. Let the child feel that there is someone who is going to try to listen to them. This will cut down on the degree of frustration for the child.
2) Encourage the child to talk in full sentences if possible. Sometimes children (who can actually talk properly) often just whine, cry, or say one-word expressions, simply because they are accustomed to doing so.
3) Prepare different options for the child to express himself- signs, objects, drawing, etc. You need to be creative here. Sometimes ideas can be expressed in the most unconventional ways- e.g. a child can create a scenario with toy figures.
4) Make sure you are able to repeat to the child what the child said to you. This is a crucial part of the process because for the child this is the guaranteed confirmation that you understood the child's expression.
Story: Someone hit 6-year-old Sally. Sally comes home crying. Mommy keeps on asking Sally what happened, but for some reason she can't say it in words. Mommy takes Sally by the hand and brings her over to the art table where there is some paper and some big fat kiddie markers ready for her. Sally sits down and starts drawing in her 5-year-old way the following picture: stick figures of a little girl and a little boy. The boy has his hand on the girl's face. Mommy sees this and figures that the boy is hitting the girl in the face. She asks Sally if this is so. Sally nods. "AHA!" thinks Mommy. "now I understand....."
Joseph Browns, a father and creator of the site http://www.home-educational-toys.com wants to share his experiences and expertise in how parents can find valuable opportunities for quality time with children to acquire priceless family memories. A total environment approach is taken, dealing with issues like educational toys, parent-child relationships, environmental + interior design, health, communication skills, and child education. For a picture of myself come see http://www.home-educational-toys.com/about -us.html
 Google News Updated : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 08:08:57 GMT MSNBC Drops Olbermann, Matthews as News Anchors - Washington Post
Washington Post - By Howard Kurtz MSNBC is removing Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews as the anchors of live political events, bowing to growing criticism that they are too opinionated to be seen as neutral in the heat of the presidential campaign. MSNBC Takes Incendiary Hosts From Anchor Seat MSNBC switches election anchors Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 04:12:15 GMT WaMu chief reportedly ousted Silicon Valley / San Jose Business ... - Bizjournals.com
Bizjournals.com - Kerry K. Killinger has been forced out as chief executive of Washington Mutual Inc., according to reports on Sunday. The New York Times and Wall Street Journal quoted unnamed people briefed on the situation who said Killinger's 18 years at the helm of ... WaMu's woes claim CEO Killinger On the Economy WaMu board stuck with Killinger for too long Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 05:12:05 GMT Revis' interception with :05 left saves Jets - Newsday
Newsday - BY ERIK BOLAND | erik.boland@newsday.com Could the quarterback the Jets cut loose to make room for his ballyhooed replacement hand the only franchise he'd ever known an embarrassing defeat? Favre and Jets fly past Dolphins Interception Ends Pennington’s Hopes for Last-Second Victory Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:05:21 GMT Stocks in Europe, Asia, US Futures Rally on Fannie, Freddie - Bloomberg
Bloomberg - By Michael Patterson Sept. 8 (Bloomberg) -- Stocks in Europe and Asia climbed and US futures gained on speculation the US government's takeover of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac will shore up the mortgage market and stem losses at financial firms. Video: AP Top Stories WRAPUP 1-China, Japan hail US mortgage bailout as doubts linger Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:38:07 GMT Police: PM's ex-law partner Messer should also be indicted - Jerusalem Post Jerusalem Post - By YAAKOV LAPPIN AND JPOST.COM STAFF As well as recommending that Prime Minister Ehud Olmert be charged in the Talansky and Rishon Tours affairs, police also said there was sufficient evidence to indict the prime minister's close associate and former ... Israeli police recommend to indict Olmert's ex-law partner Olmert: Kadima will remain a leading party Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 06:51:54 GMT New Pakistan President Will Face `Struggling' Economy (Update1) - Bloomberg
Bloomberg - By James Rupert Sept. 8 (Bloomberg) -- Pakistan's Asif Ali Zardari is set to take over as president of a country with the world's riskiest debt, the weakest currency in its history and a stock market so depressed that the exchange ordered a freeze on ... Video: Inside Story-Pakistan's New President-Sept 7, Part 1 Pakistan's new president Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 06:59:51 GMT Pfizer to Pitch Treatment For Osteoporosis to FDA Panel - Wall Street Journal
Wall Street Journal - By JARED A. FAVOLE and SHIRLEY S. WANG Pfizer Inc. is due to appear Monday before outside medical experts and Food and Drug Administration officials to make a case for allowing its Fablyn osteoporosis drug on the market. Irradiation's expansion increases scrutiny of FDA FDA to List Drugs Being Investigated Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 04:00:26 GMT Make Money From Home |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... It's that time of year when mom and dad look... Read More Managing money is one of the most critical skills we... Read More Did you know that cooking with your kids is a... Read More "What age should my child start school?"This is a common... Read More Are you worried about your child's reading habits? Perhaps you... Read More With the beginning of the new school year coming VERY... Read More Public-school teaching is structured in such a way that it... Read More Because most teens have not had the experience of getting... Read More Vinegar or honey, what do kids really want? "Toys, candy,... Read More Nanny 911 Interview with Montel WilliamsI saw an interview with... Read More Is your weekly shopping trip with the kids an absolute... Read More Is there anything wrong with lying, cheating, stealing, shop-lifting, taking... Read More Do you want your child to cooperate with you more?Children... Read More Having been a parent educator and a PBS consultant for... Read More The Internet is one of the greatest inventions of all... Read More We need a grass roots campaign targeted towards parents to... Read More In elementary school it's pretty straightforward: bringing in cupcakes to... Read More Boredom, limited space and overflowing energy are a source of... Read More Despite the theory that people have kids because they want... Read More Love, love, love. It makes the world go round. It... Read More When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work,... Read More Home-schooling provides children with a superior education. Parents can quickly... Read More Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?For children... Read More Does your child pout, blame and brood? Does he gripe,... Read More Why Me?"We should certainly count our blessings, but we should... Read More
Adsense
websites
Back to School Responsibilities Again
Whos Teaching Your Child About Money?
Cooking With Your Kids Helps Develop Motor Skills for Preschoolers
Starting School - What Age Should Children Begin School?
Frequently Asked Questions About Reading To Your Child
Achieve Success At School - Parents, Help Your Kids Easily Be Top, Honor-Roll Students!
Punishing the Victim -- Why Public Schools Pressure Parents To Give Their Kids Mind-Altering Drugs
Positive Parenting of Teenagers: Helping Your Teen Understand What I Cant Afford It Means
Build Character with this Delicious Triple A Recipe!
Nanny 911 and Disciplining Your Child
Shopping with Children
How Public Schools Assault Parents Values
Children Cooperate When Appreciated
How to Create an Attitude of Cooperation
Parental Internet Control Tips
Books Around the House Make A Difference in Literacy Rates
Parent Involvement: Finding Your Way in Middle School and High School
Road Trip with Kids
Why Do People Have Kids?
More than Mom and Dad
Exams Cause Stress For Parents Too
Homeschooling --- A Superior Education For Your Child
Spending Time With Your Child
Parents, Teach Thought-Stopping! Fix Crooked Thinking Caps
Why Me?
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
Selecting and Hiring Childcare Employees
In today's fast-paced society, many families depend on some form... Read More
ADHD: A Dialogue With a Non-Believer, Part Five
Dear Sir, It was with some interest that I read... Read More
Promote Physical Fitness for Your Child
If your child is to derive the benefits of physical... Read More
War Declared On Instant Messenger: How to Stop Your Child from Wasting Their Life Away Online
Hey Parents! I hate to tell you, but there is... Read More
Homeschooling --- A Superior Education For Your Child
Home-schooling provides children with a superior education. Parents can quickly... Read More
When Parents Disagree
Moms and dads, are there times you think that parenting... Read More
5 Simple Steps Guaranteed To Allow You To Spend More Time With Your Children This Summer
Look around: Your kids are counting sleeps until the last... Read More
Surviving as a Single Parent
Emotional OverloadMany single parents say they deal with a variety... Read More
Celebrating Life with Children in September
Here are ten simple pleasures you can enjoy with your... Read More
Should We Apologize To Our Children?
An apology is a sign of strength, not weakness. Sometimes... Read More
The ABCs of Raising Twins
As a mother of two sets of fraternal boy/girl twins,... Read More
How Effective Is EEG Neurofeedback Training in Treating the Symptoms of ADHD?
Many research studies have shown the overall effectiveness of stimulant... Read More
Parenting Your Teenager: How to Respond to Manipulation
Q. My daughter has gotten very good at manipulating us,... Read More
Top Ten Ways to Raise Emotionally Intelligent Kids
Having a high level of emotional intelligence in your children... Read More
7 Ways to Survive the Start of the School Year
It happens every year. Just when you are settled in... Read More
The 411 on Natural Colic Remedies
Any parent whose baby has suffered from colic can tell... Read More
Where to Look for Affordable Baby Clothes
Once the newness has worn off a little, you will... Read More
A Dangerous Environment
The internet is a dangerous place for your children. Don't... Read More
Stress is No Kiddy Matter
Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More
Is My Child Lazy?
Is there a difference between lazy and unmotivated? Why do... Read More
Character Education
Every parent wants their child to develop positive character traits.... Read More
Children are People, Not Machines
When growing up, my father frequently reminded me to "pay... Read More
Sharing Books with Children
One of my first memories of childhood is that of... Read More
How NOT to Motivate Your Children and Students
Chaim Ginott was a schoolteacher whose ideas and observations helped... Read More
Resilient, Confident Kids - 10 Ways to Promote Resilience in Children
Do your children have a McChildhood? Do they experience the... Read More
Parenting |