Beyond the Words, a Childs Voice
Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not unlike the sound of constant rain. At first, the rain is obvious as it dramatically announces its arrival, and for a brief moment, you acknowledge the intrusion. But slowly, the rhythmic sounds fade into the background, becoming nothing more than a distant drone.
We are fortunate to have the ability to block out sounds like the pouring rain; otherwise, it would be impossible for us to concentrate. But what happens when the rain is actually the voice of a child, and you are so focused on your own thoughts that you forget to hear?
Even the most dedicated parent or caregiver can fail to hear the understated nuances of a child's plea. It's impossible to play detective and uncover the meaning behind every word and every gesture. Sometimes a whine is simply a whine. But if your busy schedule has you constantly preoccupied, you may be unintentionally shutting your child out. And if you're not there for your child, who will be?
Emotional and spiritual wellbeing are just as important as physical health. Even at a young age, you can help teach your child a simple technique that provides you with a means to hear the voice beyond the words. It's a little trick I learned from my Mom, and all you need is a piece of paper and a pencil.
I grew up in a large family. With five children, my Mom was concerned that she might miss a cue, a subtle hint that would indicate when one of us was in trouble or needed to talk, so she came up with a plan when we were very young.
Mom gathered us around the kitchen table and took out a piece of paper and a pencil and she proceed to explain her concept at the most basic level.
"Sometimes Mommy is busy, but I am never, ever too busy for my children. I promise that I will always make time for you, but I need you to let me know if you are having a problem."
Then she drew a picture and showed it to us. "If something is bothering you, draw a picture of a sad face and give it to me. Mommy will never ignore it. This is our secret code and I will be there to help you."
We were a demanding bunch, and I'm sure it wasn't easy for my Mom. Sometimes that note would arrive right in the middle of her making dinner, or while she was on the phone or when she finally sat down to watch TV. But she would always take that child with the sad-faced picture aside. Many times, she would have to coax the problem out of us by asking a series of questions, but we always felt better afterward.
As we got older, this little plan kept the doors of communication wide open. In those difficult, embarrassing moments of childhood, Mom was always true to her word. Whenever she received a note, everything would stop and the writer would receive her private and undivided attention.
Interesting though, were the far-reaching benefits of this little plan. You see, by giving us this additional means to be heard, we were taught that our concerns, problems and opinions were valid and important. We learned how to express our feelings and we knew the luxury of having someone there to listen. But we also became responsible individuals and learned valuable lessons in honesty and accountability. Our Mom showed us how to keep a promise. And as a family, we faced our problems together and head on.
Although the idea was simple, it was also powerful. This very wise, sensitive, nurturing woman empowered her young children with the right to be heard and the gift of confidence. Today I use this concept in my own family and in my work as well.
As advocates for children's rights, my husband and I speak about the consequences of bullying. The best defense against a bully is to tell an adult, but we are well aware that this is a difficult task for some children. Even when a child is otherwise vocal, discussing harassment at the hands of a peer can be painful, embarrassing, or scary.
We take great care to explain that unless a child makes their concerns known, adults can't help. We explain that sometimes adults don't pay attention, but this doesn't mean they don't care. We encourage children not to give up and tell them to reach out to an adult by writing a note or drawing a picture.
Someday, if a child hands you a note, we hope that even if you weren't raised with a secret family code for "please listen to me," you will stop what you are doing and focus on the voice of the child before you.
About The Author
Patricia Gatto and John De Angelis are the authors of MILTON'S DILEMMA, the tale of a lonely boy's magical journey to friendship and self-acceptance. As advocates for literacy and children's rights, the authors speak at schools and community events to foster awareness and provide children with a safe and healthy learning environment. For more information, please visit Joyful Productions at http://www.joyfulproductions.com
 Google News Updated : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 02:07:34 GMT European space probe completes asteroid fly by - Reuters
Reuters - BERLIN (Reuters) - The European Space Agency obtained on Saturday the first images of an asteroid 360 million km (224 million miles) from earth, part of a space mission which scientists hope will help them understand the origins of the planets. Rosetta spacecraft takes asteroid photos Spacecraft flies by remote asteroid, camera stops Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 14:13:31 GMT Gates outacts Seinfeld in Back To The Future - CNET News
CNET News - Which is why Crispin Porter Bogusky, the agency responsible for the otherworldly new Microsoft TV spot featuring the clowning Bill Gates and Jerry Seinfeld, is already happy. Microsoft's Renewed Vista Strategy You Thought Vista Was Bad? Publ.Date : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 00:01:52 GMT Palin and McCain’s Shotgun Marriage - New York Times
New York Times - By FRANK RICH SARAH PALIN makes John McCain look even older than he is. And he seemed more than willing to play that part on Thursday night. An Apostle of Alaska 'Sarah Palin Is Wasilla': Town Stands Behind VP Pick Publ.Date : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 01:18:29 GMT Dodgers overtake first place - MLB.com
MLB.com - By Michael Schwartz / MLB.com LOS ANGELES -- Manny Ramirez's five RBIs propelled the Dodgers into first place in the National League West for only the second day all season Saturday after a 7-2 win over the D-backs at Dodger Stadium. Ramirez, Billingsley lead streaking Dodgers into first place Dodgers move into first place Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 23:14:26 GMT Report: Samsung working to acquire SanDisk - San Jose Mercury News San Jose Mercury News - AP Samsung was reported Friday to be considering buying Milpitas-based SanDisk, whose revenue has diminished and stock has plummeted in recent months due to the saturated flash-memory market. SanDisk Shares Soar on Samsung Interest SanDisk Shares Surge as Samsung Considers Acquisition (Update3) Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 16:19:13 GMT Jenkins: Murray willing to play the spoiler - San Francisco Chronicle
San Francisco Chronicle - (09-06) 18:24 PDT New York -- Andy Murray must feel very alone just now. He's a long way from his native Scotland. He's carrying the hopes of British tennis, but the London press would really prefer him to be English. Federer beats Djokovic to reach US Open final Split stadiums for US Open semis ruffles crowd Publ.Date : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 01:44:27 GMT Movies opening this week - San Jose Mercury News
San Jose Mercury News - By Mercury News "Burn After Reading" (R): The Coen brothers follow "No Country for Old Men" with a dark comedy about two inept gym employees who get hold of a CD-ROM containing a CIA operative's memoirs. Toronto Review: The Coen Brother's Burn After Reading Pitt Rocks to Madonna Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:56:32 GMT How to Earn Money At Home |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... An Awesome Dad in by no means perfect. But that... Read More Are you being smart about water conservation? Do you consider... Read More Have you ever wondered why toys for babies tend to... Read More You are sitting with the professionals who know about learning... Read More Keith is now in the fourth grade and he dislikes... Read More Voices have a way of falling into a pattern, not... Read More One of the basic issues we need to understand is... Read More This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More Do you struggle to get your child to bed at... Read More Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?"... Read More "Home Schooling ? Look Before You Leap"Are you considering home... Read More Now is an excellent time to have your child's vision... Read More Not nearly as often as it should. Most child abuse... Read More "He is happiest, be he king or peasant, who finds... Read More It's among the top criticism wives have of their husbands:... Read More 1. STOP focusing on what you are going to make... Read More When our oldest son was 2, my wife went out... Read More Choosing to leave your child with a caregiver is one... Read More Q. How do I overcome the 16-year-old who does things... Read More ? Let the child choose his or her own lunch... Read More You have just received a call from your child's teacher... Read More Article based on a friend's experienceI just wanted to share... Read More "Hugging is healthy: it helps the body's immunity system, it... Read More There are times when my ideas of raising a child... Read More So your little Susie wants to join a competitive gymnastic... Read More
Adsense
websites
Awesome Dads Top Ten Communication Intentions
How Much Water are You Wasting?
How To Develop Your Babys Brain
Aptitude, Achievement, Processing Deficit - What Does It All Mean?
If your child is being bullied - 20 top tips for parents
Beyond the Words, a Childs Voice
Parenting Your Teenager: 6 Tips for Dealing with Bad Report Cards
Develop Your Childs Genius: Training Your Child for Success
Does Your Child Need A Bedtime Routine? - Yes!
Are Your Kids Driving You Crazy? How Character Building Charts Keep You Sane
The Disadvantages of Home Schooling
Vision: 20/20 Is Not Enough!
How Often Does Child Sexual Abuse Get Reported?
A Chance for a Home
Refresher Course on Diapering for Dads
Parenting Your Teenager: 6 Things to Stop Doing Right Away
How Fathers Can Step Up to Fathering
Finding A Caregiver You Can Trust
Parenting Your Adolescent: 3 Powerful Steps to Being an In-Charge Parent
Tips for Keeping Packed Lunches Fun and Interesting
Understanding Why Your Child Has Been Recommended for Testing
A Little Love, Please?
Defrazzle with Hug Therapy
Difference
Parenting Secrets Revealed
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
Safe From Strangers
There are few thoughts as terrifying as the abduction of... Read More
A New School Year
Depending on where you live school will be starting this... Read More
Best Tips for Stress Free Child Party Games
When planning a child birthday party, just a little bit... Read More
Surprise ? Public School Class Size Doesnt Matter Very Much
School authorities often complain that classes are too large. They... Read More
Math Facts - Try Some Fun Ways to Learn Them
Memorizing math facts is a necessary part of elementary school.... Read More
Parenting Your Teenager: Kids and Money
Most teens go into the work world ill-prepared to manage... Read More
The Effects of Televised Sexual Content on Adolescents
According to a September 2004 study by the RAND Corporation,... Read More
Managing Sibling Rivalry
It is human nature to feel competitive and envious toward... Read More
Stress is No Kiddy Matter
Kids today no longer live the kind of privileged lives... Read More
Learning Disabilities
There are so many learning labels floating around these days... Read More
Exams Cause Stress For Parents Too
When it comes to exams, or indeed any academic work,... Read More
Bird Flu Pandemic
What are the easiest things citizens can do to prevent... Read More
Adolescence - Clues and Advice
Be sure to respect the intellectual changes that mark adolescence.... Read More
Visiting the Library
Libraries offer more than books. They are places of learning... Read More
Things To Teach Your Teenage Driver
Is it hard to communicate with your teenager about issues... Read More
Communications for Family Emergencies
You know that children can get into trouble. The older... Read More
Moms - Get More Energy Now
Let's be honest! When it comes to parenting, men expect... Read More
His Toy, Her Toy
I remember when my daughter was born. Visions of her... Read More
THE NEW SCHOOL VISIT: 5 Things to Look For
Today the little red school house is not what it... Read More
Develop Your Childs Genius: Training Your Child for Success
This time, I would like to talk about a subject... Read More
Are Your Kids Driving You Crazy? How Character Building Charts Keep You Sane
Who lives in your house? Are they driving you "crazy?"... Read More
Breastfeed a Toddler - Why?
Is your baby approaching his or her first birthday and... Read More
Helping Your Teen Get Back to School With Clear Skin
Backpack? Check. Notebooks? Check. Ink-pens? Check. Clear Skin? Mommmm!If you... Read More
Theres Never a Bad Time To Start Helping To Spread The Word of God
Q. What's the right age to start giving a Bible... Read More
ADHD Treatment: Strategy and Philosophy
If your child or teen has been diagnosed with Attention... Read More
Parenting |