Addiction to Clutter

Clutter is a big problem for many people. At a lecture that I gave, I asked for a show of hands regarding how many people had problems with clutter and disorganization. I was surprised to find that at least half the people raised their hands.

One of my clients told me that she was trying to help her sister get back on her feet after her sister had been laid up with an illness and lost her job. Her sister's house had always been a mess, and had become so filled with clutter that there was no place to walk or sit. My client, Rebecca, offered to buy her sister a car if she would clean up her house. Rebecca even offered to help her sister clean up the house. Rebecca was shocked when her sister refused the offer, even though she desperately needed the car. He sister was unwilling to get rid of the clutter.

Why? Why was the "stuff" so important to her?

Underneath all addictions lies fear - of emptiness, helplessness, loneliness and aloneness. Addictions are a way to feel safe from feeling these difficult and painful feelings, and an addiction to clutter is no exception. It's all about having a sense of control over feeling safe. Clutter, like all addictions, provides a momentary feeling of comfort. However, as with any addiction, the clutterer needs more and more clutter to maintain the illusion of safety and comfort.

When my mother died and my son was cleaning out her house, he discovered huge amounts of clutter. While my mother's house always looked neat and clean, the cupboards and drawers were filled with clutter. My son told me he found 6 broken hair dryers in one cabinet. Why would my mother want to keep six broken hair dryers?

My mother grew up during the depression and always had a fear of not having enough. No matter how much she accumulated materially, she never felt that she had enough. The six hair dryers made her feel safe from her fear, even if they didn't work.

Carrie has trouble throwing things away, especially magazines with "important' information in them. She subscribes to many magazines but, being the mother of three small children, doesn't often have the time to read them. So the magazines pile up and pile up. Carrie hopes at some point to have the time to read them, but that time never seems to come. When asked why she won't throw them out, her answer is, "Because there might be something important in them and I don't want to miss it." Carrie fears missing out on some important piece of information ? information that may give her the peace she is seeking. It makes her feel safer and in control to have all the magazines around her with their important information, even if she never gets to read them.

When we don't feel safe on the inner level, then we try to make ourselves feel safe on the outer level, and clutter is one way of doing that. Whether it's things, such as hair dryers, or information, such as in magazines and newspapers, clutterers do not trust that they will have what they need. In addition, clutterers may be resistant people who see messiness and clutter as a way of not being controlled by someone who wants them to be neat.

HEALING THE ADDICTION TO CLUTTER

Clutter is created and maintained by a wounded, frightened part of oneself, the wounded self ? the part that operates from the illusion of having control over people, events, and outcomes. As long as this wounded self is in charge of the decisions, the clutterer will continue to accumulate clutter as a way to provide comfort and the illusion of control over feeling safe, or continue to be messy as a way to resist being controlled.

Healing occurs when the individual does the inner work necessary to develop a strong, loving adult self. A loving adult is the aspect of us that opens to and connects with a spiritual source of wisdom, strength, and love. A loving adult is capable of taking loving action in our own behalf. The loving adult operates from truth rather than from the false beliefs of the wounded self, and knows that the comfort and safety that clutter seems to provide is an illusion ? that no matter how much clutter accumulates, the clutterer still feels afraid. The loving Adult knows that safety and integrity do not lie in resistance. Only a loving adult who is tuned in to the guidance provided by a spiritual source and capable of taking loving action in one's own behalf can create a sense of inner safety.

Practicing the six steps of Inner Bonding that we teach develops this powerful loving adult.

About The Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

---

Google News Updated : Wed, 23 Jul 2008 18:51:38 GMT San Francisco Network Admin Gives Password To Mayor - CRN eFluxMedia San Francisco Network Admin Gives Password To Mayor CRN - 1 hour ago Disgruntled San Francisco system administrator Terry Childs has finally relented and turned over the password to the FiberWAN network he has been holding hostage. IT Career Advice: Passwords Make Bad Hostages eWeek SF Admin Gives Up Keys To Hijacked City Network Slashdot ZDNet - eFluxMedia - SFist - PC World all 101 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 23 Jul 2008 17:16:36 GMT ESPN begins Sprint Cup telecasts with momentum - SportingNews.com Bleacher Report ESPN begins Sprint Cup telecasts with momentum SportingNews.com - 52 minutes ago By Michael Smith With ratings up for its Nationwide Series broadcasts and NASCAR shoulder programming, ABC/ESPN enters the Sprint Cup portion of its schedule feeling considerable momentum. Menard ready for return to famed Indianapolis Rotoworld.com Indianapolis Motor Speedway is Jeff Gordon's personal playground ... ESPN Howell Times and Transcript - Clutch and Chrome - WTHI - Clanton Advertiser all 151 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 23 Jul 2008 17:59:22 GMT Viagra helpful to women on antidepressants, study finds - Los Angeles Times Viagra helpful to women on antidepressants, study finds Los Angeles Times - 11 hours ago In a small study, 72% of those on SSRIs -- which can have debilitating sexual side effects -- reported improvement when taking the male impotence drug. Viagra offers help to some women Minneapolis Star Tribune Viagra May Boost Female Libido in Some Cases U.S. News & World Report Wall Street Journal - Chicago Sun-Times - WebMD - Reuters all 433 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 23 Jul 2008 07:39:02 GMT Estelle Getty was a true 'Golden Girl' - Los Angeles Times Telegraph.co.uk Estelle Getty was a true 'Golden Girl' Los Angeles Times - 1 hour ago Estelle Getty, who died Tuesday three days before her 85th brithday, may have won her only Emmy Award in the supporting race but she was really one of the leading lights of "The Golden Girls. Video: Estelle Getty of 'Golden Girls' Dies at 84 AssociatedPress The Golden Girls: Estelle Getty Dies at 84 BuddyTV Washington Post - E! Online - CollegeOTR - Reuters all 968 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 23 Jul 2008 17:47:51 GMT Report: Christian Bale Confronted Mother After She Insulted Wife - FOXNews ABC News Report: Christian Bale Confronted Mother After She Insulted Wife FOXNews - 4 hours ago AP July 21: British actor Christian Bale arrives for the European Premiere of 'The Dark Knight', in central London. July 21: British actor Christian Bale arrives for the European Premiere of 'The Dark Knight', in central London. Christian Bale's alleged blow-up came after mom bad-mouthed his wife New York Daily News Kin claim they were roughed up by Batman Boston Herald San Francisco Chronicle - New York Times - Los Angeles Times - The Associated Press all 2,153 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 23 Jul 2008 14:42:07 GMT Many conomists see McCain better for stocks: poll - Reuters New York Daily News Many conomists see McCain better for stocks: poll Reuters - 3 hours ago By Emily Kaiser WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The US stock market would fare better in the first year after a victory by Republican presidential candidate John McCain than by his Democratic rival Barack Obama, according to a majority of economists at US banks ... Video: Obama Campaign: McCain Flubs on Iraq Timeline AssociatedPress McCain: 'Obama would rather lose a war in order to win a political ... Wake Up America Wall Street Journal - FOXNews - Los Angeles Times all 301 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 23 Jul 2008 15:37:23 GMT Grocers stop selling jalapeno peppers after salmonella discovery - Los Angeles Times CTV.ca Grocers stop selling jalapeno peppers after salmonella discovery Los Angeles Times - 11 hours ago By Jerry Hirsch, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer Southern California grocery stores reversed themselves Tuesday and started pulling jalapeno peppers from their shelves. Salmonella Outbreak Exposes Food-Safety Flaws Wall Street Journal Found: Smoking Jalapeno Washington Post Food Consumer - WRAL.com - KTAR.com - San Francisco Chronicle all 1,315 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 23 Jul 2008 07:00:46 GMT RSS Parser Data Feed Content for Web Pages

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Getting Organized For The New Year - Part 2

In part 1, we discussed a system you could use... Read More

Organizing - Time is of the Essence!

What does "time" have to do with getting organized? Everything!... Read More

Clutter Crisis?

Clutter costs you time, money, space, and peace of mind.... Read More

Change the Way You Think and Change Your Life

Dennis is working as a factory worker during the day... Read More

Simple Ideas to Conquer Paper Clutter

Are stacks of papers, mail, newspapers, and growing "to do"... Read More

Feng Shui Guidlines for Storage Spaces

Professional organizers and helpful-hint sources often recommend storage solutions such... Read More

The Problem With To-Do Lists

Do you use to-do lists? Do you find it satisfying... Read More

How Clutter Chases Money Away

Have you ever heard that having a cluttered home can... Read More

Clutter Campaign - Commit Your Time

Decide When And Where To StartDecide when and where to... Read More

Heres A Great Way To Organize Your Work From Home Office Virtually

How to do keep track of all you have to... Read More

Finish in Style - Organizing Works!

One of my mother-in-law's many oft-quoted and wise declarations was... Read More

5 Steps From Clutter To Control

Are you overwhelmed by clutter wherever you turn? Here are... Read More

Clutter Campaign - Maintain Your Success

To want in one's heart to do a thing for... Read More

Stress Management: 10 Universal Laws to Get and Stay Organized

1. The Law of the 1st StepA good first step... Read More

Feeling Overwhelmed and Unorganized? - How to Use Index Cards to Organize Your Life

Feeling Overwhelmed and Unorganized? - How to Use Index Cards... Read More

10 Tips on Color Coding Your Paper: From Chaos to Coherence

Color-There Is No SubstituteIn anatomical illustrations you see the brain's... Read More

Organizing Solutions for the Disorganized Entrepreneur

After more than 20 years as an entrepreneur and a... Read More

Getting Organized - Getting Fit

In a speech entitled "Organized Living in a Disorganized World"... Read More

To Make a Change -- Take a Chance

Life is really all about CHANGE. In order to make... Read More

A Personal Action Plan for Change

There are eight distinct steps to constructing and executing an... Read More

Keep, Get Rid Of, Or Not Sure?

Cleaning out can seem overwhelming -- especially if it's been... Read More

Relieve Vacation Stress By Planning Ahead

Cindy looks at the calendar and sighs. Ah, the end... Read More

3 Simple Filing Guidelines

One of the most basic ways to find papers when... Read More

The Five Ways To Ease The Process Of Eliminating Clutter

I recently had a conversation with a friend about clutter.... Read More

Digging out of Paper Clutter - part 1

Digging out from under stacks of paper might seem like... Read More