Unforgettable First Impressions Part 2: Its All About Them!

Jean de la Bruyere said, "The great gift of conversation lies less in displaying it ourselves than in drawing it out of others. He who leaves your company pleased with himself and his own cleverness is perfectly well pleased with you."

Every conversation, interaction and encounter has some kind of emotional effect on both parties:

How you feel about yourself
How you feel about others
How others feel about you
How others feel about themselves

In order to make an UNFORGETTABLE! first impression (not just a good first impression), you must focus on the last of these four effects: how others feel about themselves.

The 6 Essential Elements for Flawless First Impressions are part of Scott Ginsberg's the UNFORGETTABLE! Audio System.

To solidify this element, ask yourself the following seven questions. If you can answer them while connecting with new people, you will be certain to become UNFORGETTABLE!

How comfortable is the other person?
The most socially gracious people are those who make others feel comfortable. Comfort can be broken into two parts: level and touch. First let's talk about level. When interacting with someone, always synchronize your posture both vertically and horizontally. For example, if one person is sitting, the other should do the same.

One group of people who understand the value of synchronizing their posture is food servers. I remember eating at my local Steak 'N Shake in St. Louis last year during a very busy time of night. My server ? and also everyone else's server ? was running around the understaffed restaurant like a mad man. He finally came to my table and, once he caught his breath, introduced himself and sat down.

"I can't stand up anymore ? it's too crazy! Anyway, you must be Scott, right?" he joked as he pat my shoulder, "Well I'm Brian. What can I get for you?"

As Brian sat eye to eye with me I felt connected to him. I even felt his pain ? he was the only server in the place, but he still managed to adjust to my level.

Psychologically, level adjustments like this are one of many factors that contribute to an average increase in tips. I worked in food service for many years and never encountered a manager who didn't remind us of this tactic. But my managers also encouraged another practice that was effective for first impression ? and tip ? management: touch.

This is the second component to making the other person feel comfortable. Especially when it comes to handshakes, high-fives, shoulder brushes and pats on the back, incorporating the slightest bit of touch in an appropriate and non-violating manner will make people feel more connected to you.

How can you make the other person feel superior to you?
One of my favorite Emerson quotations is, "Every man is my superior in some way, and in that, I learn of him."

When you first meet someone, a great tip is to tell them how much you've learned from them in the short time you've talked. Thank them for enlightening you. Even write down suggestions, tips, names or things they told you right in front of them. Remember, people hate those who make them feel their own inferiority.

Do they feel like they already know you?
If you ever hear someone say, "God I feel like we've known each other for years!" or "We really seemed to hit it off!" you're on the right track to making an UNFORGETTABLE! first impression.

But you can't get to this point in the conversation without self-disclosure. Self-disclosure is the process of making yourself manifest to another. It starts with little pieces of information like your name, but as you locate the CPI, or Common Point of Interest and share your opinions and attitudes, you will find that the other person will reciprocate the same back to you. This norm of reciprocity is another way of saying, "I'll show you mine if you show me yours."

Now, be careful here. Say the wrong thing and you might hear one of the most annoying, overused clichés of the past 10 years come out of your conversation partner's mouth: "Too Much Information!" As frustrating as this phrase may be, if someone says it, you've obvious crossed the line. Sometimes you may be several miles past the line. So be liberal with the amount of information you reveal. And be sure your level of intimacy matches that of the other person. You'll have no problem connecting with someone as if you "already know each other."

How engaged is the other person?
Remember this: two monologues do not make a dialogue. (Some people just yap back and forth without engaging the other person like they're talking to a wall!) So incorporate both people! An important phrase you can use to assure the dialogue is: "What About You?" This sentence is the epitome of having an Other Orientation.

It also allows you to turn the tables. Stop talking for once and find out what they're thinking. If you reciprocate back and forth and keep both parties engaged, you will be well on your way to creating an UNFORGETTABLE! First Impression.

Are they uncertain?
A common reason people feel uncertain during the limited first impression window is the forgetting of names. A person's name is the sweetest sound they'll ever hear, but even more shocking is that a person's name is the single context of human memory most apt to be forgotten.

So ASSUME that they have forgotten your name, and provide them with some help accordingly. First of all, wear your nametag. There's nothing more frustrating than unexpectedly being unable to use a nametag as crutch for a brain fart.

Secondly, practice the "Third Person Trick." This involves telling a story or an anecdote about yourself that helps others with your name without them suffering a loss of face. For example:

"?so when the airport security said, 'Scott Ginsberg, please come with us for a body cavity search,' I knew I was in trouble."

"Oh thank you for saying your name!" they silently say to themselves.

Works every time!

Has the other person discovered how similar they are to you yet?
As soon as you can, find out how you're similar to your conversation partner. You will see it in their eyes. Make sure THEY know there's something similar. This allows you to focus on how they feel about themselves. So remember these two things: 1) People like others whom they ARE like; and 2) As Napoleon Hill said, "You are a human magnet and you are constantly attracting people whose characteristics harmonize with your own."

Are you satisfying their need to feel appreciated?
The number one hierarchical need of humans is the need to feel appreciated and included ? and it's your job in every conversation, interaction and first impression to satisfy this need.

During a late night shift at the front drive of the Ritz Carlton in St. Louis, several gentlemen asked me to call them a cab downtown. As we waited for the taxi to arrive, one of them asked, "So, Scott ? got anyone special staying here at the Ritz tonight?"

"Sir," I smiled, "All of our guests at the Ritz Carlton are special."

The group roared in laughter! The man patted me on the shoulder and nodded his head in gratitude.

"Thanks for that Scott ? that's why we love this hotel!"

It's All About Them
An Other Orientation is essential for UNFORGETTABLE! First Impressions. If you ask and answer these seven questions, you and your conversation partner will feel like you've known each other for years. What's more, you'll make them feel appreciated, superior and comfortable while interacting with you ? all because you remembered that it ain't about you!

© 2005 All Rights Reserved.

Scott Ginsberg is a professional speaker, "The World's Foremost Expert on Nametags" and the author of HELLO my name is Scott and The Power of Approachability. He helps people MAXIMIZE their approachability and become UNFORGETTABLE communicators - one conversation at a time. For more information contact Front Porch Productions at http://www.hellomynameisscott.com.

---

Google News Updated : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 11:51:33 GMT Manatee dies before reaching rehab site - Boston Globe WHDH-TV Manatee dies before reaching rehab site Boston Globe - 4 hours ago By Emily Canal After a 27-hour trip to Florida, Dennis the manatee, rescued from the frigid waters of Cape Cod, died in Orlando yesterday as SeaWorld employees carted the mammal to a rehabilitation center. Video: Rescued Manatee Dies After Mass. Rescue AssociatedPress Manatee rescued off Cape Cod dies en route to Florida Sea World New York Daily News WFLA - eFluxMedia - Cape Cod Times - South Coast Today all 565 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 07:21:21 GMT 1.5 million G1 Android phones pre-ordered - TG Daily Product Reviews 1.5 million G1 Android phones pre-ordered TG Daily - 6 hours ago By Wolfgang Gruener Chicago (IL) - T-Mobile’s upcoming G1 may not be the best-looking iPhone rival, it may not have the most complete feature set and T-Mobile may have undersold the device at the recent launch event. Get ready for next-gen mobile InfoWorld HTC G1 Android Phone Racks up 1.5 Million Pre-orders eFluxMedia Brighthand - InformationWeek - ReadWriteWeb - ZDNet all 153 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:21:21 GMT Fantastic finishes: 5 NFL games down to the wire - Washington Post Washington Post Fantastic finishes: 5 NFL games down to the wire Washington Post - 3 hours ago Dallas Cowboys' Mat McBriar (1) has his punt blocked by Arizona Cardinals' Sean Morey as Monty Beisel (52) looks on during overtime of an NFL football game Sunday, Oct. 12, 2008 in Glendale, Ariz. Blocked punt downs Dallas San Francisco Chronicle Backups Burst Through Line and Lift Cardinals in Overtime New York Times Sports Network - FOXSports.com - Houston Chronicle - Philadelphia Inquirer all 749 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 08:15:50 GMT UK government takes stake in three banks - CNN International Canada.com UK government takes stake in three banks CNN International - 32 minutes ago LONDON, England (CNN) -- The British government on Monday said it would make a multi-billion investment in three of the country's major banks to help them through the "first financial crisis of the global age. In quotes: Bank bail-out reaction BBC News TEXT-Lloyds TSB terms for acquisition of HBOS Reuters guardian.co.uk - Wall Street Journal - Bloomberg - AFP all 1,923 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 11:18:47 GMT European, Asian markets bounce back - The Associated Press Vancouver Sun European, Asian markets bounce back The Associated Press - 1 hour ago LONDON (AP) - European markets opened strongly Monday following Asia's lead in response to the widespread government efforts over the weekend to shore up the world's troubled financial system. The financial crisis A light at the end of the tunnel? Economist World stock markets welcome European bank rescue AFP MSN Money - New York Times - New Straits Times - Voice of America all 769 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 10:23:04 GMT Forecast: Summery Sunshine Sticks Around - Washington Post Chicagoist Forecast: Summery Sunshine Sticks Around Washington Post - 2 hours ago Columbus Day will feel a lot more like Labor Day as temperatures climb to around 80 degrees. This unseasonably warm weather will continue for the next several days. Enjoy a warm, sunny Columbus Day Times Herald-Record Beautiful start to the work week The Star-Ledger - NJ.com The Capital Times - Journal and Courier - Richmond Times Dispatch - The Virginian-Pilot all 241 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 09:03:26 GMT Dodgers stand up to Phillies in Game 3 win - FOXSports.com Washington Post Dodgers stand up to Phillies in Game 3 win FOXSports.com - 4 hours ago by Ken Rosenthal Ken Rosenthal has been the senior baseball writer for FOXSports.com since Aug. 2005. He appears weekly on the FSN Baseball Report and MLB on FOX. LA revitalized at Moyer's expense MLB.com Kuroda's pitch serves its purpose for Dodgers USA Today New York Times - Los Angeles Times - Boston Globe - Philadelphia Daily News all 2,467 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 07:00:36 GMT RSS to Blog RSS Parser

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Giving the Gift of Your Name (The Networking Factor)

Although, this is about giving the gift of your name... Read More

Land the Ideal Job Using Social Networks

With at least 60% of job-seekers finding employment through networking,... Read More

How NOT to Waste Your Time Networking

Ever wonder if networking, referral groups, and conferences are a... Read More

How To Make Your Next Networking Event A Success

There are people who are natural born networkers - those... Read More

Test Your Networking Know-How

Let's test your knowledge on networking:1)The best definition of networking... Read More

Networking Know-how

Successful networking requires the understanding from the get-go that it... Read More

How to Keep from Sounding LIKE Totally Stupid

June is reality check month. Lots of the resolutions have... Read More

Practice Makes Pefect

What is the problem when people try to describe what... Read More

Which Networking Events Should You Attend?

How does one determine which are the best events to... Read More

Time to Hire a Professional Networker?

It used to be that people said that there was... Read More

Hey, Whos the New Guy? How to Make Guests and First Timers Feel Welcome

The New Guy is a person we all know. And... Read More

Building Business Relationships in a Roomful of Strangers

You approach a stranger at an association meeting or industry... Read More

The Festive Season: Your Networking Opportunity

The festive season is a great time to sharpen and... Read More

Follow-Up with Your Contacts

What happens when you meet a potential client at an... Read More

Jump Start Your Network

Networking is often identified as a key business building activity... Read More

10 Effective Ways to Remember Names

Sigmund Freud says "a person's name is the single context... Read More

Building Great Business Relationships

If you're in a business relationship with anyone ? a... Read More

How to Organize a Successful Bad Sweater Party

"Hey Scott, would you like to go to a Bad... Read More

Your Front End

While surfing for traffic or browsing your safelist emails, you... Read More

10 Terrific Tips to Talk Your Way to the Top

What is "the top" anyway? According to society, "top" has... Read More

Lessons from the Wedding Mafia

One of my clients shared a story with me from... Read More

Develop a Great Network - Pay It Forward for Maximum Success

Who needs a network of people to talk to about... Read More

Franchisees Should Learn From Each Other

If you own a franchise you should be in contact... Read More

Networking to a New Life

Research shows that talking to strangers -- not people in... Read More

Work that Room, Baby!

Networking, schmoozing, making connections. Call it what you want, it's... Read More