Jealous Again - Jealousy Among Musicians

Jealousy ? do you feel it? Do you sense it in others? Does it hinder your relationships with other musicians? Does it sap your confidence? Does it block your creativity? Here are some questions to help you get clearer about the jealousy in your life.

1. What is my jealousy trying to teach me? Generally when I have a strong emotion towards a specific person it's either because that person represents something about me that I can't tolerate yet or because that person embodies something that I wish I could do or have. I remember being in a high school arts program and being incredibly envious of a fellow singer. What I was so painfully aware of (though I couldn't have articulated it at that time) was that this person was able to fully express herself and her talents, and I couldn't. I was a better singer at home in my bedroom than I was in front of other people, and THAT'S what I couldn't stand about the situation. By doing what I couldn't do, she shone a spotlight on my biggest challenge. It made it virtually impossible to have a good relationship with her.

2. How can I identify with this person as a fellow musician, instead of comparing our work? What opportunities are there for collaboration, mutual support and the exchange of ideas? Can I open myself to receiving gifts from this person ? feedback, support and love? What can I, in turn, give to this person? Even the most famous, the most successful musician is a human being just like you. Find the connection. What can I give to a musician who's newer than I am?

3. How can I develop confidence in my unique message and express this authentically? I will never sound like this other musician, or anyone else for that matter. Influences may be heard, comparisons will inevitably be made, but my words will never come out exactly like theirs, because my "story", my life, my experiences, my collection of qualities, strengths and challenges are completely unique to me. When I honour my uniqueness my confidence grows, and it becomes pointless to compare myself to others ? there's no comparison. This quote by Martha Graham further explains what I mean.

There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening, that is translated through you into action, and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique. And if you block it, it will never exist through any other medium and it will be lost. The world will not have it. It is not your business to determine how good it is nor how valuable nor how it compares with other expressions. It is your business to keep it yours clearly and directly, to keep the channel open. ? Martha Graham, quoted by Agnes DeMille, Martha: The Life and Work of Martha Graham

4. How can I turn my attention away from this other person and back to what I can do to further my own success and creative fulfillment? If I'm jealous of someone winning a songwriting contest, I can ask myself: how many songwriting contests have I entered? If I'm jealous of the size of their fan base, I can ask myself: how am I attracting new fans and how I am deepening my relationship with the ones I have now? If I'm jealous of the number of songs they've written, I can ask myself: what am I choosing to do with my time instead of writing songs?

5. Now that I've learned from it, how can I let go of my jealousy? Often in life we hang on to emotions long after they've served their usefulness. They become comfortable, familiar and safer than doing the work to get to the other side of them. And yet they can also weigh us down and block our creativity. Try the analogy FEEL. First, Feel your feeling ? don't suppress it, actually let yourself feel it. Next, Express the feeling ? write about it, sing about, talk about it with someone you trust, play it on an instrument or express it in art. Next, Explore the feeling ? what is it trying to teach you, etc. as discussed above. And finally Let it Go. This can be as simple as saying a short prayer or affirmation ("I have let go of my jealousy", or "I have valuable and unique gifts to offer"), or writing the feeling on a piece of paper and tearing it up.

Jealousy has a lot to teach us. So when it shows up in your life, pay attention. If you notice jealousy in others, put yourself in their shoes and help them to identify with you. Reveal your humanity. Let them know that they've got something to offer you.

This article was originally published on the Muses Muse Songwriter's Resource website (December 2004) http://www.musesmuse.com.

(c) Copyright 2005, Genuine Coaching Services.

Linda Dessau, the Self-Care Coach, helps artists enhance their creativity by addressing their unique self-care issues. To receive her free monthly newsletter, "Everyday Artist", subscribe at http://www.genuinecoaching.com/artist-n ewsletter.html

---

Google News Updated : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 05:55:52 GMT Michigan: Ruling on Voting Rights - New York Times Michigan: Ruling on Voting Rights New York Times - 1 hour ago By AP A judge has ordered state election officials to stop automatically canceling a voter’s registration if the card is returned as undeliverable. Federal judge orders 1438 names restored to Michigan voter rolls Detroit Free Press Judge Says Mich. Policy Violated Voting Law Washington Post Connecticut Post - The Standard - DetNews.com - The Associated Press all 68 news articles Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 04:05:24 GMT Canada's Harper May Face Similar Gridlock After Today's Vote - Bloomberg Voice of America Canada's Harper May Face Similar Gridlock After Today's Vote Bloomberg - 1 hour ago By Theophilos Argitis and Alexandre Deslongchamps Oct. 14 (Bloomberg) -- When Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper called today's election six weeks ago, he complained that opposition calls for more spending were putting the economy at risk, ... Rivals crisscross Canada ahead of elections Los Angeles Times Global turmoil dominates Canada election Financial Times AFP - Voice of America - Crosscut - Aljazeera.net all 951 news articles Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 04:37:49 GMT Vitamin D Supplementation Guidelines for Youngsters Doubled - Washington Post ABC News Vitamin D Supplementation Guidelines for Youngsters Doubled Washington Post - 9 hours ago By Amanda Gardner MONDAY, Oct. 13 (HealthDay News) -- The leading children's medical organization in the United States on Monday announced that it has doubled the amount of vitamin D recommended for infants, children and adolescents. Video: HealthWatch CBS Vitamin D recommendation for kids is doubled Los Angeles Times WebMD - ABC News - New York Times - KEYC all 609 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 20:11:02 GMT Same-Sex Marriage and the Rights of Citizenship - New York Times ABC News Same-Sex Marriage and the Rights of Citizenship New York Times - 1 hour ago The Connecticut Supreme Court deserves praise for acknowledging, as other states that allow same-sex marriage have not, the constitutional principles that compelled the justices to guarantee all consenting adult Americans the right to enjoy the ... Gays rush to wed ahead of election Washington Times Comment by Evan Wolfson Executive Director, Freedom to Marry National Review Online Blogs - News10.net - WCAX - Catholic Weekly all 1,913 news articles Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 04:41:27 GMT Wildfires threaten LA homes; two people dead - Reuters CBC.ca Wildfires threaten LA homes; two people dead Reuters - 4 hours ago By Steve Gorman and Alex Dobuzinskis LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Deadly wind-driven brush fires roared out of the foothills and canyons on the northern fringe of Los Angeles on Monday, destroying dozens of homes and threatening hundreds more dwellings. Video: LA Fire Officials Try to Get Ahead of Blazes AssociatedPress REGION: Fire alert remains in effect North County Times New York Times - BBC News - AFP - The Associated Press all 3,443 news articles Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 01:27:17 GMT Morgan Stanley Can't Please Everyone - Forbes Wall Street Journal Morgan Stanley Can't Please Everyone Forbes - 2 hours ago Morgan Stanley and Mitsubishi UFJ Financial may have pleased investors, but they failed to reassure the ratings services. Morgan Stanley (nyse: MS - news - people ) shares surged more than 85.0% Monday after it received a $9.0 billion investment from ... Mitsubishi UFJ Gets Better Terms From Morgan Stanley (Update1) Bloomberg Fitch cuts Morgan Stanley's default ratings to 'A/F1' MarketWatch New York Times - Reuters - Washington Post - St. Louis Post-Dispatch all 1,706 news articles Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 03:40:53 GMT Excess Drinking Shrinks the Brain - Washington Post Canada.com Excess Drinking Shrinks the Brain Washington Post - 8 hours ago By Amanda Gardner MONDAY, Oct. 13 (HealthDay News) -- The more alcohol you drink, the more your brain shrinks, a new study has found. Study: Drinking alcohol associated with smaller brain volume Xinhua Alcohol Consumption Can Shrink Your Brain WCTV Inventorspot - Telegraph.co.uk - MedPage Today - Canada.com all 51 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 21:09:07 GMT RSS For Web Pages More Web Site Traffic

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Form - Giving Shape to Your Music

Do you ramble on endlessly with your improvisations? If so,... Read More

The Irish Harp

The harp that once through Tara's halls the soul of... Read More

Songwriting - The Art of Writing a Good Song

Did you know that good songwriting is often the key... Read More

Living Life Loud

Change is good. Just ask the millions of unsigned artists... Read More

How To Play Piano Using Chord Symbols

Chord symbols (for example, Fm7, Cmaj7 or G6) are a... Read More

The British Invasion

The Kasabian concert at the Kool Haus seemed like a... Read More

Sheet Music ? Violin and Other String Instruments

The violin is a bowed stringed instrument and is the... Read More

Are iPods Changing the Way We Listen to Music

They're everywhere, and not only are they everywhere, they look... Read More

Building A Good Relationship With Your Guitar

The guitar is considered the friendliest musical instrument there is.... Read More

Make Money with Your Music ? the Top 5 Ways

Songwriters dream of making their living by writing, and sometimes... Read More

George Winston and New Age Piano Playing

The first time I heard George Winston play back in... Read More

How to Create Hip, Mature, and Lush Harmonies [correction]

Rarely is a chord played with its tones contained in... Read More

Zen and the Art of New Age Piano

We all want to be in the moment. That's where... Read More

JOHN LENNON - The Man and His Times

John Lennon wasn't always my favorite Beatle; at first it... Read More

Music Industry Insider: Tess Taylor of NARIP and LAMN

Members of LAMN (founded in 1988) and NARIP (founded in... Read More

Interested in Improving the Sound of Your Stereo? Consider Records

Introduced in 1982, the compact disc was intended to provide... Read More

Composing George Winston Style

If you're a fan of New Age piano, no doubt... Read More

How to Organise a Gig or a Live Music Event - the Budget

Three times in the last month I've been asked the... Read More

Music Licensing

Music licensing can be a very confusing subject. My... Read More

Guitarists...Are You A Victim and A Loser?

I was thinking today about THE most dangerous enemy of... Read More

The Future for Independent Record Labels

Small independent record labels are facing a different fight today... Read More

New Age Piano Tricks

One of the things that makes New Age piano so... Read More

So You Wanna Learn How To Start a Record Label?

Well, you love music so much that you have decided... Read More

Say Something

The music of Rush influences and inspires, at least that's... Read More

How to Compose Your Own Music Using 8-bar Phrases

Some people think composing is this miraculous thing that only... Read More