Keeping Perspective: When Bad Things Happen That Are Not Life Threatening
The very first thing to question is how important is this in the overall scheme of life? Compared to all of the things that have happened, are happening, and could happen in my life - how bad is this? Is it something that will impact the rest of my life? Is it temporary? Although the pain may not feel like it's temporary, it usually is. It's important to get a perspective. If your car has been stolen, that's a major nuisance that will cost you time and money to replace, but how does that compare to a diagnosis of cancer? If your marriage is ending, it can be extremely painful, but your life will continue no matter how bleak circumstances may seem. So wouldn't it be easier to find a way to transcend the pain and move on, let go, and take away the power from the negativity? Wouldn't it be more pleasant to look at the 'bright side'? and yes! There always is a flip side! It may not be one you believe in at the moment, it may not be where you want to focus, but there IS another perspective.
It's good to keep in mind - although during the painful period it's not always the first thought - that out of every crisis comes an opportunity. No matter how bleak or dire circumstances may seem, we can't change them, but we CAN control how we view them. Again, it's our perspective - our "Point of View" (P.O.V.)
Usually when something bad happens, we take it personally. For instance, when a boss is constantly yelling, demanding and being unreasonable, we feel as though we are not okay, our well-being is in question. In actuality, it's usually not personal - not about us. It feels as though it's coming AT you - so often, we say "Why me?" but it's not really ABOUT you. It's usually the other person venting, feeling frustrated angry and they are holding the emotion. You only take it on if you choose to do so. Eleanor Roosevelt said it beautifully: "You can't make someone feel inferior without their consent."
Now that the bad thing has happened, you have the ability to stop giving it power and energy and to begin feeling free and truly let it go. Only by holding on to the thoughts of the past, can they stay alive. What are you getting out of hanging onto it? The negativity can be draining your energy, taking up time, keeping you from other things. We may want revenge, may want to vent our anger, or choose to stay in the victim 'poor me' role, and feel sorry for ourselves. That's okay initially - briefly, but it becomes a waste of energy when life is continuing without us.
The main choice is to transcend it (not often easy when you are enmeshed in the pain) or if possible, do something about it... otherwise you are whining, Complaining seems like you are doing something about it when you really are NOT. What you are doing is feeding the pain or anger so that it stays alive and well. By letting it go, it dies; it disappears; it can be left behind. If you are unhappy with the way your boss or significant other treats you, you could possibly have a talk with him/her explaining how unhappy you are - how their behavior is affecting you; you can leave the job; you can look at the bright side - you HAVE a job, or you could continue to complain and experience the same old, same old. While there are many more options possible, the first one has to be how you view the situation - as that's the ONLY place where you have complete control. By coming into the present and focusing on the positives - no matter how difficult it may be, you are taking control and taking the first step towards freedom.
Invitation to Experiment: Think about the things that you are holding onto from the past. What is still swirling in your mind that is no longer truly relevant to you right now? Where can you change your point of view (P.O.V.) and affect a difference in how you feel about a situation? What have you been complaining about lately? Is there something you can do about it? What are you believing is directed at you? Can you see it from another perspective so that you can see that it's about the other person and not about you?
Marion Franklin - is a Professional Certified Life Coach who coaches individuals and groups regarding personal and professional change, focus, human relations, and conflict management. Marion has coached managers at major corporations including PepsiCo, Toys'R'Us, and Reader's Digest. She conducts and help clients design workshops and presentations, has been a featured presenter at meetings, retreats, and an ongoing Women's Workshop Series, has been cited in The Journal News and The Wall Street Journal, and has appeared on local Cable Television. http://www.lifecoachinggroup.com
 Google News Updated : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 02:06:27 GMT Silver State of Nevada Is 11th Bank Failure This Year (Update1) - Bloomberg Bloomberg - By Alison Vekshin and Ari Levy Sept. 5 (Bloomberg) -- Silver State Bank of Henderson, Nevada was closed by US regulators today, the 11th bank to collapse this year amid a surge in soured real-estate loans stemming from the worst housing slump since the ... Regulators Shutter Silver State Bank Regulators close Silver State Bank in Henderson, Nevada Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 01:45:10 GMT Some See a Fighting Spirit as Detroit Mayor’s Ruin - New York Times
New York Times - By SUSAN SAULNY and NICK BUNKLEY DETROIT - When it looked to most people around here as if a 31-year-old might be too young to win a mayoral election, Kwame M. Kilpatrick decided to take on the fight, and the reward was his inauguration in 2002 as ... Video: A Timeline of Detroit Mayor's Text Scandal Kilpatrick, Cockrel to meet; 140 could lose jobs Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 01:18:12 GMT Google Chrome Hit With Another Security Bug - CRN
CRN - By Stefanie Hoffman, ChannelWeb Less than a week after the release of Google's new Web browser Chrome, security researchers detected a buffer overflow vulnerability that could enable remote attackers to completely take control of a user's computer. NetSuite boasts of Google Chrome support Chrome reflects need for internet speed Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 23:33:46 GMT McPalin ready to “break some china” - FOXNews FOXNews - by Mosheh Oinounou STERLING HEIGHTS, MI - John McCain is warning Washington that he and Sarah Palin are a “team of mavericks” ready to “break some china. John McCain, Sarah Palin, and "Rights"  Comment by Deborah L. Rhode Dir., Ctr. for the Legal Profession, Stanford UnivPubl.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 00:08:24 GMT Palin is catapulted into starring role - Financial Times
Financial Times - By Edward Luce and Andrew Ward It was the loudest and most prolonged cheer since Barack Obama appeared on the podium last week in Denver. Video: "Change is coming," McCain tells convention - 05 Sept 2008 Comment by John S. Baick Professor of History, Western New England CollegePubl.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 00:07:45 GMT McCain seizes on theme of ‘change’ - Financial Times
Financial Times - By Daniel Dombey in Washington John McCain accepted the Republican presidential nomination on Thursday night by seeking to wrest the mantle of change from Barack Obama in a speech that mixed appeals to patriotism, criticism of Washington and a promise ... John McCain and Barack Obama focus on job losses, economy McCain, Obama Vie For 'Reformist' Mantle Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 00:07:54 GMT Republicans Take Heart; Heart Takes It Back - E! Online
E! Online - AP Photo/Kiichiro Sato Ann and Nancy Wilson are hoping the Republicans change their tune—and aren't planning on waiting until November to find out. Republicans Lack Heart! Heart Duo Furious Over Republicans' Use of 'Barracuda' Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 15:42:08 GMT Easy Work At Home Opportunity |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... Q. I've been working on a big project for a... Read More "I will persist until I succeed. Always will I take... Read More There is a new television show, called Blind Justice that... Read More Sooner or later, if you keep working hard in a... Read More Elizabeth Tull is a Professional Excellence Coach who lives with... Read More Many of us are influenced by the sports ethic: Never... Read More We are all guilty of delaying what needs to be... Read More Friends, it is always a power of your dreams and... Read More Ever feel like quitting? "Are you kidding?" you ask, "A... Read More I watched as an 8-year-old All-Star slid dramatically into second... Read More Picture this: A mother and daughter are looking at the... Read More Why do you do what you do? What is your... Read More The next time you find yourself relaxing on the couch,... Read More There is a saying that goes something like "getting to... Read More Today, when I awoke, I suddenly realized that this is... Read More In a couple weeks, we'll be heading into the second... Read More "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in... Read More Lets discover the importance of balancing preparation, timing and momentum.... Read More Want to know how to run your brain and be... Read More Whatever you are doing in your life at the present... Read More When it comes to motivating yourself to be a better... Read More The first week of May is a big birthday time... Read More "The measure of your success usually comes down to who... Read More 'You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in... Read More They say that the way to have a positive attitude... Read More
Adsense
websites
Lazy? Or Right on Schedule
Hanging On In There - How To Carry On When Your Motivation Is Flagging
Nurturing Your Vision
Motivation By An Audience
Living Outside the Lines of Normal and Reasonable
The Toughest Decision of All: Get Out or Get Going!
8 Super Ways To Avoid Procrastination
Chasing Your Dreams!
The Top Ten Strategies to Employ When You Feel Like Quitting
Dont Let Failure Go To Your Head
Selective Perspective
Keep the Channel Open
What Would You Do If You Knew You Could Not Fail?
Motivation: No Finish LInes
The Best Day Of My Life
Mid-Year Success Check: Are You Halfway There?
Is Fear Killing Your Dreams?
Why Now Is The Perfect Moment For You To Succeed
How to Tune In Your Brain and Feel Motivated in Minutes
Its Not Enough
How To Be Motivated To Create The Life Of Your Dreams
Mindfulness and Birthdays: Surprising Moments
Finding Motivation: What To Do When You Dont Feel Like Doing Anything
Facing Our Fears
Get Negativity Out Of Your Life!
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
Top 10 Tips For The Best Year of Your Life!
We typically think of New Year's as the time to... Read More
Motivation: Good Luck or Bad Luck, Too Soon to Tell
As the story goes, there was once a farmer and... Read More
Explanations?... or Excuses?
Which of the following "explanations" have you heard (or used!)... Read More
How To Get Through A Bad Day
No matter how hard you try to make them otherwise,... Read More
Is Fear Killing Your Dreams?
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in... Read More
Are You Still Stuck on Still?
Are you still "stuck on still?" If so, don't let... Read More
A Reality Practice
Suggested practice to gain freedom from self-limitation.It is suggested that... Read More
Getting Out of a Rut
Are you feeling bored or restless? Do you need to... Read More
The Reason Nothing Happens - Is Because Nothing Is Happening!
I hear many clients declare how boring and stagnant their... Read More
Making Things Happen
We are all given the tools, but it is up... Read More
One Last Month to Make it Count!
Can you believe it, summer is almost over. Did you... Read More
Hurry Up And Procrastinate
I've been meaning to write this column, but I keep... Read More
How to Get Up on a Down Day
One of the major obstacles to achieving goals is losing... Read More
Fear
As you prepare to take your first steps, could there... Read More
Mountain-Moving Momentum
It can be challenging to think about going to the... Read More
Put Some Fire in Your Desire
One of the keys to success is staying motivated because... Read More
Finding A Cure for I Disease
The 21-year-old rookie cop had his big chance to brag... Read More
Moving Past Your Comfort Zone
We all gravitate toward what we feel most comfortable doing.... Read More
Greed and Selfishness: Knowing The Difference And Loving Yourself!
I hear many people discuss how selfishness leads to greed,... Read More
The Biggest Mistake Youve Made About Manifesting
What is the biggest mistake you have made about manifesting... Read More
The Time to Act
Engaging in genuine discipline requires that you develop the ability... Read More
Read All the Books
All of the books that we will ever need to... Read More
How To Avoid Being Labelled As Average
When your life is over how will you be graded?... Read More
People Who Get What They Want: What Are They Thinking?
Imagine being able to choose any outcome and automatically feel... Read More
When Do You Enjoy Things the Most?
It's a very strange concept. When you are in a... Read More
Motivation |