Ten Beliefs That Can Contribute to an Unhappy Marriage

Have you ever wondered why your marriage isn't happier? If so, you're not alone. Numerous spouses are struggling with the same question.

At least part of the answer may lie in the words you use in your self-talk and in what you say to your spouse. And what you believe, the lies you tell to yourself or to your spouse, and what you deny or rationalize will all affect your marriage intimacy and happiness.

Read the following ten statements and see if you recognize yourself in any of them. If so, it's never too late to make positive changes.

1. It doesn't matter if I don't tell the complete truth once in awhile as long as not knowing doesn't hurt him in any way. (You're lying to yourself.)

2. I'm not going to tell him how much our daughter's prom dress really cost because it would only upset him. (Lying never solves the real problem.)

3. She'd come unglued if she knew my old girlfriend called me today, so I just won't mention it. (And when she finds out later, you'll have some major trust issues to work through.)

4. The only reason I'm telling you that you're getting fat and need to lose weight is for your own good. (But that's not the only reason you're bringing this up, and your spouse knows it.)

5. It doesn't matter if we don't have sex very often now that we've been married for five years. (You're only fooling yourself.)

6. I deserve to be treated better, and I'm going to find a way to get even. (The game of getting even always has two losers.)

7. It doesn't matter what I look like and how I dress now that we're married. (Neatness and cleanliness always count, and dressing up for a "date" with your spouse can add excitement to your relationship.)

8. We'd be happier if you were more like Jackie's husband. (You're implying that you'd like him better if he changed. Your spouse will resent you for the comparison and be even more resistant to changing.)

9. We're going to do something special together just as soon as the car is paid off (our son graduates from college, the house is paid for, we build up our savings, etc.). (Even on a low-cost budget, you can find special things to do to have fun and build memories now.)

10. I'll really be happy when I retire in fifteen years. (Focusing on future contentment is a set up for missing opportunities to be happy now in the present moment-happy with yourself, your spouse, your marriage, and your life.)

Nancy J. Wasson, Ph.D., is co-author of Keep Your Marriage: What to Do When Your Spouse Says "I don't love you anymore!" This is available as an e-book at http://www.KeepYourMarriage.com ,where you can also sign up for the free Keep Your Marriage Internet Magazine. Nancy can be contacted at Nancy@KeepYourMarriage.com.

---

Google News Updated : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:51:44 GMT Pittsburgh Cancer Center Warns of Cell Phone Risks - ABC News China Daily Pittsburgh Cancer Center Warns of Cell Phone Risks ABC News - 6 hours ago By JENNIFER C. YATES and SETH BORENSTEIN AP Writers AP The head of a prominent cancer research institute issued an unprecedented warning to his faculty and staff Wednesday: Limit cell phone use because of the possible risk of cancer. Red alert! The cellphone warning has been issued Los Angeles Times Pittsburgh cancer center warns of cell phone risks The Associated Press DetNews.com - USA Today - Julie's Health Club - Chicago Tribune Blog all 436 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:01:03 GMT Bashir Visits Darfur, Pledges Sudan Will Protect Relief Workers - Bloomberg Voice of America Bashir Visits Darfur, Pledges Sudan Will Protect Relief Workers Bloomberg - 4 hours ago By Paul Tighe July 24 (Bloomberg) -- Sudan's President Umar al-Bashir, indicted by the International Criminal Court for alleged war crimes in the Darfur conflict, visited the region yesterday and pledged to provide security for international relief ... Bashir returns to Darfur New York Times How Sudan Was Brought to Court TIME The Press Association - The Epoch Times - Voice of America - Times Online all 1,663 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 02:39:29 GMT Oklahoma determined to have a strong finish - Fort Worth Star Telegram NCAAfootball.net Oklahoma determined to have a strong finish Fort Worth Star Telegram - 1 hour ago By MIKE JONES "Our whole mentality now is WTLG [win the last game]," Harris said Wednesday. "Come out and finish. It’s national championship or bust. Sooner, the better Topeka Capital Journal Players put success on Stoops Daily Camera SportingNews.com - Chicago Tribune - ESPN - Norman Transcript all 38 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 05:03:29 GMT Dynamo top United at soggy RFK - MLS - Major League Soccer The Money Times Dynamo top United at soggy RFK MLS - Major League Soccer - 1 hour ago By Charles Boehm / MLSnet.com Staff WASHINGTON -- After two aborted tries on previous dates, DCUnited and the Houston Dynamo finally completed the first of their two league meetings on Wednesday night -- and some of Thursday morning, ... Mullan, Ching power Dynamo over DC United 2-0 Houston Chronicle Dynamo outlasts United despite lengthy delay Seattle Post Intelligencer The Canadian Press - FC Dallas - Washington Post - United Press International all 144 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 05:07:00 GMT Obama lavished with airtime -- and criticism - Los Angeles Times ABC News Obama lavished with airtime -- and criticism Los Angeles Times - 1 hour ago As the media moves to correct itself for glowing coverage of the Democrat, it's entering a period of shallow analysis. By ON THE MEDIA, JAMES RAINEY It seems like just about everybody has spent the last week beating up on the media for showering too ... Veterans group hits McCain on troop pullout The Associated Press 'Generation Gap' Widens in the 2008 Electorate Wall Street Journal Boston Globe - New York Times - CQPolitics.com - Right Pundits all 2,612 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 05:43:11 GMT "X-Files" movie both satisfies and disappoints - Seattle Times "X-Files" movie both satisfies and disappoints Seattle Times - 50 minutes ago Mulder and Scully are together again in "X-Files: I Want to Believe." The story may be silly, but the agents' romance is compelling as ever. The X-Files: I Want to Believe AU Review IGN Scully have I loved Salon Daytona Beach News-Journal - The State - The Star-Ledger - NJ.com - Youngstown Vindicator all 557 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:01:06 GMT Powerful quake injures 92 in Japan - CNN Boston Globe Powerful quake injures 92 in Japan CNN - 2 hours ago (CNN) -- A strong earthquake injured 92 people and destroyed 31 buildings in northern Japan on Thursday, authorities said. People at an auto dealership in Karumai, Japan, clean up glass shards after a strong earthquake Thursday. Japan's North Hit by Magnitude-6.8 Quake; 95 Injured (Update3) Bloomberg Powerful earthquake hits Japan, dozens injured The Associated Press Jerusalem Post - Reuters - AFP all 766 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 04:51:37 GMT Add RSS Feeds to My Website Add Data Feed Content to Your Website

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Groomsmens Gifts

Your groomsmen will be donating their time to your big... Read More

Inside Secrets On How To Stay In Love

My husband Bill and I have just had our 37th-wedding... Read More

Is Conflict Healthy in Marriage?

Today my three-year-old daughter told my husband that she wants... Read More

Affordable Centerpieces for Your Wedding Reception

When it comes to decorating your reception tables, the centerpieces... Read More

How to Make Your Wedding Vows Something You?ll Remember Forever

If you're going the increasingly popular route of personalizing your... Read More

The Pros & Cons of Beach Weddings

Beach weddings are popular but they do present "special issues".Failing... Read More

Mindfulness and Marriage: Moving Along

Marriage has to be the greatest opportunity for mindfulness on... Read More

Engagement Rings & Celebrities

Whether we like it or not current trends in engagement... Read More

10 Secrets to a Successful Stress-Free Wedding

Your wedding is supposed to be the most important day... Read More

Twelve Ways to Make Your Spouse Dislike Sex

It's really not difficult to ruin what could have been... Read More

Proper Etiquette for the Wedding Invitation

The invitation is the first impression of the type of... Read More

Gatlinburg Honeymoon Packages

Gatlinburg in Tennessee is the city with streets of art... Read More

Engagement Party Ideas To Wow The Crowd!

He's proposed, and most likely you're flashing your new engagement... Read More

Wedding Jewelry Tips Tricks and Helpful Hints

So your not one of those fabulous actresses or models... Read More

The Second Time - Another White Wedding?

That first wedding was a dream, a gorgeous long white... Read More

Honeymoon Destinations

Your big day is now over all the stress of... Read More

To Register or Not to Register (for Wedding Gifts)

I say always register for gifts! You see, people tend... Read More

How To Fight Cultural Differences In Marriage And Stay Happy

When people plan to marry, they expect to find in... Read More

Get Wedding Gifts Youll Enjoy -- Creating Your Wedding Registry

Receiving wedding gifts is a whole lot more fun when... Read More

3 Easy Steps to Buying the Right Engagement Ring

You've made the plunge, you've decided to get married. Congratulations!Don't... Read More

Wedding Receptions: How To Set Up The Tables

Getting the wedding tables right can make a big difference... Read More

Women Sufferings and Infidelity

Her dreams of marriage and collected marriage values disintegrate when... Read More

Cheap Wedding Party Gifts

Thanking your wedding party with special gifts is a favored... Read More

Do We Still Need Wedding Traditions?

Traditionally at weddings the speechs are made after the wedding... Read More

How to Plan a Cheap Wedding

There's no doubt about it, weddings can be expensive. The... Read More