Make Sure You Do: Before You Say ?I Do?

Tina Turner asked an important question in the title of her hit song; What's Love Got To Do With It? Yes love is important but love don't pay the bills. It is not be enough to be "in love." Couples must have the basic skills necessary for building and enhancing the relationship over time. Lasting marriages require partners who are committed to respecting one another, who have gained knowledge about what makes marriage work, and who have developed skills that will enhance rather than deteriorate the relationship.

It is mind boggling that so many spend countless hours planning for the great wedding day. That's right; it is only for one day; a mere drop in the ocean of time. Here today, gone tomorrow; then what? It is just plain ignorant to spend numerous weeks and even months planning for the wedding that last a day and ignore the marriage that is expected to endure for a lifetime. It makes good sense then, to spend at least an equal amount of time preparing for married life. By reading this article, you have taken the first step toward increasing your awareness. I applaud you.

Whenever I perform a wedding ceremony, it usually includes these words:

Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him/her, forsaking all others and holding only unto him/her according to God's holy law; and thus pledge your faithfulness.

It is disconcerting that nearly half of all married couples regretted uttering those profound words and have since divorced. I believe that the most egregious mistake these couples made was not spending enough time seriously planning for a lifetime together in marriage. Though most couples do claim to take their wedding vows seriously, often what has been disregarded is really getting to know each other on a level beneath the surface.

Women, particularly, seem to approach marriage from a fantasy "happy-ever-after" mentality. We do not seem to realize that what we think we "see" is not perfect reality. And, what we think we feel is related to what we think we see. In other words, we tend to approach marriage with a distorted perception of what married life will be like. In a way, it can be analogized to an adolescent girl who always wanted a baby until she actually had one and the reality of parental responsibility ferociously slapped her in the face; or the teen young man who didn't understand that as soon as he hit adulthood, the system would relentlessly seek child support payments from him for each child he has fathered.

Keep in mind that who you marry will have a dramatic impact on all aspects of your life; spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical health. Marriage is serious business and should be given serious thought. It is not optional, it is obligatory. Take a long and hard look before you leap.

Rev. Saundra L. Washington, is an ordained clergywoman, social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries http://www.clergyservices4u.org. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach. Her new book, Out of Deep Water: A Grief Healing Workbook, will be available soon.

---

Google News Updated : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:51:44 GMT Pittsburgh Cancer Center Warns of Cell Phone Risks - ABC News China Daily Pittsburgh Cancer Center Warns of Cell Phone Risks ABC News - 6 hours ago By JENNIFER C. YATES and SETH BORENSTEIN AP Writers AP The head of a prominent cancer research institute issued an unprecedented warning to his faculty and staff Wednesday: Limit cell phone use because of the possible risk of cancer. Red alert! The cellphone warning has been issued Los Angeles Times Pittsburgh cancer center warns of cell phone risks The Associated Press DetNews.com - USA Today - Julie's Health Club - Chicago Tribune Blog all 436 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 00:01:03 GMT "X-Files" movie both satisfies and disappoints - Seattle Times "X-Files" movie both satisfies and disappoints Seattle Times - 50 minutes ago Mulder and Scully are together again in "X-Files: I Want to Believe." The story may be silly, but the agents' romance is compelling as ever. The X-Files: I Want to Believe AU Review IGN Scully have I loved Salon Daytona Beach News-Journal - The State - The Star-Ledger - NJ.com - Youngstown Vindicator all 557 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:01:06 GMT Bashir Visits Darfur, Pledges Sudan Will Protect Relief Workers - Bloomberg Voice of America Bashir Visits Darfur, Pledges Sudan Will Protect Relief Workers Bloomberg - 4 hours ago By Paul Tighe July 24 (Bloomberg) -- Sudan's President Umar al-Bashir, indicted by the International Criminal Court for alleged war crimes in the Darfur conflict, visited the region yesterday and pledged to provide security for international relief ... Bashir returns to Darfur New York Times How Sudan Was Brought to Court TIME The Press Association - The Epoch Times - Voice of America - Times Online all 1,663 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 02:39:29 GMT Obama lavished with airtime -- and criticism - Los Angeles Times ABC News Obama lavished with airtime -- and criticism Los Angeles Times - 1 hour ago As the media moves to correct itself for glowing coverage of the Democrat, it's entering a period of shallow analysis. By ON THE MEDIA, JAMES RAINEY It seems like just about everybody has spent the last week beating up on the media for showering too ... Veterans group hits McCain on troop pullout The Associated Press 'Generation Gap' Widens in the 2008 Electorate Wall Street Journal Boston Globe - New York Times - CQPolitics.com - Right Pundits all 2,612 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 05:43:11 GMT Oklahoma determined to have a strong finish - Fort Worth Star Telegram NCAAfootball.net Oklahoma determined to have a strong finish Fort Worth Star Telegram - 1 hour ago By MIKE JONES "Our whole mentality now is WTLG [win the last game]," Harris said Wednesday. "Come out and finish. It’s national championship or bust. Sooner, the better Topeka Capital Journal Players put success on Stoops Daily Camera SportingNews.com - Chicago Tribune - ESPN - Norman Transcript all 38 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 05:03:29 GMT Dynamo top United at soggy RFK - MLS - Major League Soccer The Money Times Dynamo top United at soggy RFK MLS - Major League Soccer - 1 hour ago By Charles Boehm / MLSnet.com Staff WASHINGTON -- After two aborted tries on previous dates, DCUnited and the Houston Dynamo finally completed the first of their two league meetings on Wednesday night -- and some of Thursday morning, ... Mullan, Ching power Dynamo over DC United 2-0 Houston Chronicle Dynamo outlasts United despite lengthy delay Seattle Post Intelligencer The Canadian Press - FC Dallas - Washington Post - United Press International all 144 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 05:07:00 GMT Powerful quake injures 92 in Japan - CNN Boston Globe Powerful quake injures 92 in Japan CNN - 2 hours ago (CNN) -- A strong earthquake injured 92 people and destroyed 31 buildings in northern Japan on Thursday, authorities said. People at an auto dealership in Karumai, Japan, clean up glass shards after a strong earthquake Thursday. Japan's North Hit by Magnitude-6.8 Quake; 95 Injured (Update3) Bloomberg Powerful earthquake hits Japan, dozens injured The Associated Press Jerusalem Post - Reuters - AFP all 766 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 04:51:37 GMT Add RSS Feeds To My Web Pages Increase Web Traffic

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Wedding Save the Date Cards?Best Ideas and Wording

The sole purpose of save-the-date cards is to give the... Read More

All The Details: 25 Ways to Make Your Wedding a Unique and Truly Memorable Event

If you've been to one wedding, you've seen it all.... Read More

Getting Great Deals on the Wedding Clothes

If you are planning to have a full wedding that... Read More

Gatlinburg Honeymoon Packages

Gatlinburg in Tennessee is the city with streets of art... Read More

Dressing Your Bridesmaids

For a bride, shopping for bridesmaid dresses can be one... Read More

A Tale of Two Weddings

In the next six months, my... Read More

Me Tarzan! You Jane!

Once upon a time a caveman, while out for a... Read More

How to Have a Sizzler of a Honeymoon! Article No. 4

When Maria Callas first appeared on the international scene, she... Read More

Choosing the Perfect Wedding Ring

Traditionally, a wedding band was worn on the ring finger... Read More

Second Marriage Wedding Dress and Etiquette

Just as with your first marriage, your second marriage is... Read More

Doing Things Your Own Way

No one said that you had to follow the rule... Read More

Irreversible

My husband had two affairs last year. I am pretty... Read More

Wedding Favor Creator

Wedding favors have always been a nice, personal gesture to... Read More

The Wedding Dress Revealed

Fashion Trends and Popular Styles and ColorsThe Wedding Dress ?... Read More

Jewish Wedding Rings - Traditions and Customs and How to Buy Smart

In a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony, Jewish wedding rings play... Read More

Searching For An Affordable Mother Of The Bride Dress

It is absolutely possible to find a beautiful and affordable... Read More

Prenuptial Agreements: The Deal Breaker?

So you're toying with the idea of getting married? Maybe... Read More

Helping The Control Freak Plan The Wedding

My daughter and fiancé have finally set the "big day"... Read More

Give-and Take: Recipe for Success in Marriage?

A woman once visited a counselor to ask a question... Read More

Bridal Budget Beware

Getting hitched, taking the plunge, tying the knot, jumping the... Read More

Wedding Favors

Your Wedding Favors are a little bit of your wedding... Read More

Invitation Anatomy 101 - Optional Components - Part 2 of 3

Hopefully, you've read my prerequisite lesson "Invitation Anatomy 101 ?... Read More

Like Sand Through an Hour Glass

Symbols! Weddings are full of them. Exchanging rings. Exchanging roses.... Read More

Marriage Problems: Help in Preventing Them

When we want to be successful at something in life,... Read More

Marriage Advice: Seven Marriage Myths You Can?t Afford to Ignore

If you're like most people, you probably entered into marriage... Read More