Why Would Anyone Do That in My Meeting?

Imagine that you open a meeting by saying, "We need to talk about the budget."

And someone responds with, "I named my dog Budget because everyone tells me he's too big."

After the laughter subsides, you wonder why anyone would make such a silly remark in your meeting.

And this leads to a larger question: Why would anyone misbehave in a meeting? Taken to the extreme, misbehavior can ruin a meeting. That wastes everyone's time and squanders the opportunity to produce useful results.

Here are some possibilities.

1) They're uninformed

Many people do not know how to plan, conduct, or participate in a meeting. They think that gathering people in a conference room represents holding a meeting. They believe that planning is unnecessary because they expect everyone to arrive with a common agenda. They think that hosting a discussion actually leads to useful results. These well-meaning attempts at holding a meeting are so counterproductive that they can appear to be misbehavior. In addition, a bad meeting irritates others, causing them to retaliate with misbehavior.

Better: Show people how to plan and conduct meetings. Teach them how to use process tools that help people make methodical progress toward results. Schedule a workshop that shows people how to plan and lead meetings. (Call me to talk about my outstanding workshop.)

2) They're bored.

Many meetings occur with a few people talking while the rest watch. When this happens, the quiet participants entertain themselves by daydreaming, starting side conversations, or working on other tasks (such as preparing lists of things to do once the meeting finally ends). People with extensive experience in bad meetings have learned how to feign credible interest while being mentally absent.

Better: Plan activities that involve everyone. Avoid relying on discussion for your meeting because it allows the more vocal attendees to dominate.

3) They're mad.

People can be mad for many reasons, such as they feel trapped in an unplanned meeting or they disagree with the results being obtained. They could also feel mad if others are preventing them from participating.

People know that a meeting without an agenda will waste their time, and they resent this. For example, a man once told me that he and his friends would "sandbag" any meeting that was called without an agenda. They made inappropriate comments, introduced distracting considerations, and asked pointless questions. Of course, they acted with such professional sincerity that it seemed that they were being productive instead of disruptive.

Better: Always prepare an agenda. Always contact key participants before the meeting to explain their role and to check if they are prepared for the meeting.

4) They disagree

Meetings are an excellent activity to resolve disagreements. However, if people disagree with the issue, the process, or the results AND are unable to exert influence, they will rebel. This rebellion will appear as misbehavior in the meeting or (worse) sabotage after the meeting.

Better: Use process tools in the meeting that involve all of the participants. Always contact key participants before holding a meeting on a controversial issue. Use these conversations to listen to their views, explain the goals for the meeting, and promote your intent for a fair resolution. Make sure that you seek a "Both/And" result instead of an "Either/Or" result so that everyone gets what they need.

5) They misunderstand

Sometimes people misunderstand expectations. For example, an executive was surprised by the negative comments, ridicule, and hostility that occurred during his first staff meeting with a new group. After some investigation, he learned that his predecessor openly criticized and ridiculed people. Thus, this was the behavior that the staff had learned to emulate. The executive fixed this by a) stating new expectations, b) coaching key offenders, and c) setting an example of respectful conduct.

Better: Cultural management is a primary leadership responsibility. Demonstrate the type of behavior that you want for productive meetings and provide private corrective feedback to those who misbehave.

An effective meeting is a team activity conducted by a fair process that involves everyone. People respect this approach and will make positive contributions because they know that such a meeting represents a good use of their time.

IAF Certified Professional Facilitator and author Steve Kaye helps groups of people hold effective meetings. His innovative workshops have informed and inspired people nationwide. His facilitation produces results that people will support. Sign up for his free newsletter at http://www.stevekaye.com. Call 714-528-1300 or visit his web site for over 100 pages of valuable ideas.

---

Google News Updated : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 05:49:35 GMT Democrats Are Gaining, Registration Data Shows - New York Times Los Angeles Times Democrats Are Gaining, Registration Data Shows New York Times - 2 hours ago By NICHOLAS CONFESSORE and GRIFF PALMER Some longtime Republican strongholds in New York are becoming increasingly Democratic, a striking change driven by demographic shifts, intense voter registration drives by Democrats and allied groups and sagging ... Campus registration drives in full swing KARE Ott, Hook face off for open county office St. Joseph News-Press The News-Press - Winston-Salem Journal - Tampabay.com - Beaufort Gazette all 739 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 03:20:33 GMT G-7 Commit to `All Necessary Steps' to Stem Global Meltdown - Bloomberg Voice of America G-7 Commit to `All Necessary Steps' to Stem Global Meltdown Bloomberg - 1 hour ago By Simon Kennedy Oct. 11 (Bloomberg) -- Group of Seven finance chiefs, meeting after stocks plunged and as a global recession looms, vowed to prevent the failure of vital banks while failing to unveil new initiatives for thawing credit markets. Group of 7 Nations Seek Coordination in Rescue New York Times In latest bold step, Treasury will buy bank stakes The Miami Herald CNNMoney.com - The Associated Press - Boston Globe - FN Arena News all 890 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 04:03:42 GMT Bush: US authority able to solve financial crisis - People's Daily Online Telegraph.co.uk Bush: US authority able to solve financial crisis People's Daily Online - 1 hour ago US President George W. Bush arrives in the Rose Garden at the White House to makes a statement on the economy in Washington, October 10, 2008. President Bush vows action on financial crisis Los Angeles Times Bush's Lullaby to the Markets Washington Post Birmingham Star - Wall Street Journal - CNN - Bloomberg all 1,302 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 04:12:49 GMT Paulson Indicates Need to Purchase Bank Equity `Soon as We Can' - Bloomberg Telegraph.co.uk Paulson Indicates Need to Purchase Bank Equity `Soon as We Can' Bloomberg - 1 hour ago By John Brinsley and Rebecca Christie Oct. 11 (Bloomberg) -- US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson indicated that pumping government funds into banks is a priority and said financial markets will remain volatile. US planning to buy equity in financial institutions Reuters Treasury Weighs Investing In Banks Washington Post International Herald Tribune - MarketWatch - CNNMoney.com - Bizjournals.com all 1,783 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 04:21:05 GMT Genomics project unites four Wisconsin research institutions - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Genomics project unites four Wisconsin research institutions Milwaukee Journal Sentinel - 19 minutes ago By KATHLEEN GALLAGHER Wisconsin’s four biggest academic research institutions will collaborate on an initiative aimed at giving the state national stature in the fast-emerging field of individualized medicine, Gov. Marshfield Clinic gets biggest donation yet Chicago Tribune Wis. governor unveils gene research triangle Forbes Bizjournals.com - GenomeWeb News (subscription) - WJFW-TV - WISN.com all 51 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 05:29:44 GMT McCain Lauds and Attacks Obama in Same Day - New York Times CBS News McCain Lauds and Attacks Obama in Same Day New York Times - 41 minutes ago Senator John McCain of Arizona and his supporters at a rally on Friday in La Crosse, Wis. By ELISABETH BUMILLER LAKEVILLE, Minn. - After a week of trying to portray Senator Barack Obama as a friend of terrorists who would drive the country into ... McCain Moves to Soften the Tone at Rallies Washington Post John McCain, speaking to supporters, tries to defuse an anti ... Los Angeles Times Reuters - DetNews.com - Austin American-Statesman - The Miami Herald all 304 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 05:08:14 GMT US Near Changing Stance on North Korea as Terrorist - Wall Street Journal BBC News US Near Changing Stance on North Korea as Terrorist Wall Street Journal - 1 hour ago By JAY SOLOMON WASHINGTON -- The Bush administration is hoping to announce as soon as Saturday that it is tentatively removing North Korea from its list of state sponsors of terrorism, in a bid to kick-start a stalled nuclear disarmament agreement, ... AP: US to remove North Korea from terror blacklist The Associated Press US May Remove North Korea From Terrorism List, AP Reports Bloomberg Los Angeles Times - Voice of America - Financial Times - The Miami Herald all 1,714 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 04:02:40 GMT Clickbank Data Feeds Make Money From Home

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

I Am Not A Number - Why Too Many Change Projects Fail

Many of you will recognise this quote from the 1960s... Read More

Understand What Flows Through Your Business to Find Improvement

I remember once seeing a cartoon which showed two people... Read More

Communicating In Chaotic Environments

How do you, or would you, communicate in a chaotic... Read More

Employers - Protect Yourself from Custody Battles that Hold Your Company Hostage

Child custody? How'd that get to be an employer's concern?When... Read More

Human Resource Communication Pays Off

Human Resource Communications and Corporate Communications ? are they one... Read More

A Leadership Screw Driver: The 90 Day Improvement Plan

I was talking with first-line supervisors in a utility company... Read More

5 Management Decision Making Lessons from a Long Shot. A Heartening Belmont Victory

Like many, I watched the 134th Belmont Stakes hoping to... Read More

Managing Group Meetings

MANAGING SMALL MEETINGS: Keep the size of the meeting as... Read More

The 5 Things Great Managers Sense about their People, Every Day

Using all of your senses, to help you test how... Read More

Few Things Are More Destructive Than An Insecure Boss

Few things are more destructive to a career than a... Read More

Sharing the Reins: 10 Reasons To Sell Your Company To Your Employees

In 1987 I sold my business, South Mountain Company, to... Read More

11 Strategies on How to Work in An Open Plan Environment

Many work environments now are open plan, with only a... Read More

The 70% Solution: Practical Testing and Version Control

"What do you mean you need to push back the... Read More

CRM ...The Emperors New Clothes

The story of the emperor's new clothes is a fairy... Read More

Innovation Management: The Power of Emotional Attachment

Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

Five Defining Characteristics of Great CEOs

1. Personal insight. Great CEOs are great leaders. They know... Read More

The Seven Cs: Partnership Danger Signs - Communication Breakdown

An ongoing series of articles exploring the seven critical areas... Read More

Management Apathy

I recently received a most interesting phone call.When I answered... Read More

Creating Your Own Business Upturn - Powering Business Development

We all see it . . . business markets are... Read More

Its All About The Customers, Baby

If you want to ensure a steady stream of customers... Read More

Unravelling the Data Mining Mystery - The Key to Dramatically Higher Profits

Data mining is the art of extracting nuggets of gold... Read More

One Simple Idea to Grow Your Business

Perhaps the most common theme I've heard in working with... Read More

Are You in AWE of Your Employees?

Employers have become so concerned about seeming "unfair" or worse... Read More

Think Before You Talk

What you say to other people can make or break... Read More

Employee Retention: Keeping the People Who Keep You in Business

The retention of highly skilled knowledge workers is one of... Read More