Why People Resist Us

There's a one-word reason most ideas never see the light of day: Resistance.

Resistance is often behind the glassy-eyed stares you get following a presentation, the sarcastic put-downs you have to put up with when you describe your vision for a new product or service, and other people's abrupt departure from the water cooler when you approach, enthusiastic and ready to share an idea. What people are saying to you, either directly or indirectly is, I've heard your idea and I don't get it, I don't like it, or I don't like you.

By understanding the resistance getting in the way of your ideas, you can work to turn opposition into support. How can you do it? Use clear language and good listening skills to head-off resistance before it takes on a life of its own. When you can't avoid it, learn how to recognize and address the three most common types of resistance so you can keep conversations moving forward and bring ideas closer to implementation.

Here are the three primary forms resistance takes-and what you can do to make each work for you instead of against you:

• Level 1 resistance: "I don't get it." When you see a person's eyes glaze over, eyebrows furrow, or head tip slightly to one side or another, they're sending you an unspoken message: "I don't get what you're saying." That's your cue to slow down and touch base with the person before they get so confused or lost in the morass of your idea that they lose interest altogether. After all, if people don't get your idea, there's no chance they'll support it.

  Level 1 resistance involves the world of facts, figures, and data. It crops up often when people in highly-technical fields, like computer science, try to share their brainchildren with the rest of the company. They go to great lengths to explain how a software package or new hardware configuration can solve problems-and even generate profit over the long-term, and somewhere between the bits and bytes, underlying the multi-acronym sentences featuring POSIX, WYSIWYG, XT/AT, and UNIX, is a brilliant idea. It's just that-alas-it can only be understood and appreciated by other high-tech experts.

  If you find yourself in this position, step back from your idea and consider your audience. How can you communicate the idea to them in language-minus all traces of jargon-that they can understand? Will pictures, models, slides, an on-site walk-through, help? Clear, thoughtful, two-way communication is the key to overcoming Level 1 resistance.

• Level 2 resistance: "I don't like it." Sometimes your ideas can trigger an emotional response, typically rooted in fear, that causes another person to hem and haw about your idea or to actively oppose it. Some of the fears underlying these Level 2 responses include:
  • The concern that something about your idea will make the other person look bad or lose status in the eyes of others.
  • Worry that your idea will cost the person his job or endanger his financial security.
  • Nervousness that your idea will cause the person to fail, perhaps as a result of-and in the wake of-your success.

  The emotions behind Level 2 responses get in the way of productive communication. If they're never aired, these fears fester until what was once a tiny bump on the road to implementation is now an enormous boulder blocking your way. Recognize and address the fears underlying Level 2 resistance and your idea is more likely to continue moving forward.

• Level 3 resistance: "I don't like you." Picture this: You're in a meeting with your accountant when she says, "I've got good news for you. I've found some loop holes that will significantly reduce your taxes." A year ago-prior to the Enron debacle-you might have welcomed both the accountant and her ideas with open arms. Now, however, the system of checks-and-balances she represents is tainted by what you've read and seen on television, and every idea she proposes gets run through a filter of suspicion in your mind. That's Level 3 resistance.

  While the other two types of resistance have to do with your ideas, Level 3 resistance is about you-ouch. When you're the one doing the proposing, your history with others, as well as their bias, prejudice or mistrust, influence how your idea is heard and received.

  Level 3 resistance is the toughest to deal with because it's so hard to believe-and accept-that there are people in the world who don't like you and everything you stand for. However, if you choose to deny or ignore it, your ideas will never get off the drawing board.

  The key to dealing effectively with Level 3 resistance is to step outside yourself and see what others see when they look at you-and what they hear when they listen to you.

Once you've made an effort to see yourself and your idea through another's eyes, try these techniques for working through and moving beyond all three levels of resistance-'I don't get it,' 'I don't like it,' and 'I don't like you:'

• Focus on conversation, not presentation. Ask questions to find out what's going on in the other person's mind and why she opposes your idea.
• Listen carefully to what others say in response to your idea-both verbally and through their body language and behaviors.
• Avoid knee-jerk reactions, like defensiveness, sarcasm and shutting down.
• Find ways to connect with others. Paraphrase their concerns to show that you're listening; embrace suggestions that piggy-back on your idea; and make it clear that there's room-and opportunity-for others to join you as you move forward to implement the idea.

Resistance at any level is good because it demonstrates that others hear you and are intrigued enough about your ideas to oppose them. That may sound like cold comfort, but it's not: Figure out what's behind resistance and you'll be well on your way to turning opposition into support.

Rick is an advisor to organizations on ways to lead Change without Migraines?. He is author of many books on change including Why Don't You Want What I Want? and Beyond the Wall of Resistance. You can access free articles and tools at http://www.beyondresistance.com

---

Google News Updated : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 05:49:35 GMT Genomics project unites four Wisconsin research institutions - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Genomics project unites four Wisconsin research institutions Milwaukee Journal Sentinel - 19 minutes ago By KATHLEEN GALLAGHER Wisconsin’s four biggest academic research institutions will collaborate on an initiative aimed at giving the state national stature in the fast-emerging field of individualized medicine, Gov. Marshfield Clinic gets biggest donation yet Chicago Tribune Wis. governor unveils gene research triangle Forbes Bizjournals.com - GenomeWeb News (subscription) - WJFW-TV - WISN.com all 51 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 05:29:44 GMT Democrats Are Gaining, Registration Data Shows - New York Times Los Angeles Times Democrats Are Gaining, Registration Data Shows New York Times - 2 hours ago By NICHOLAS CONFESSORE and GRIFF PALMER Some longtime Republican strongholds in New York are becoming increasingly Democratic, a striking change driven by demographic shifts, intense voter registration drives by Democrats and allied groups and sagging ... Campus registration drives in full swing KARE Ott, Hook face off for open county office St. Joseph News-Press The News-Press - Winston-Salem Journal - Tampabay.com - Beaufort Gazette all 739 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 03:20:33 GMT Bush: US authority able to solve financial crisis - People's Daily Online Telegraph.co.uk Bush: US authority able to solve financial crisis People's Daily Online - 1 hour ago US President George W. Bush arrives in the Rose Garden at the White House to makes a statement on the economy in Washington, October 10, 2008. President Bush vows action on financial crisis Los Angeles Times Bush's Lullaby to the Markets Washington Post Birmingham Star - Wall Street Journal - CNN - Bloomberg all 1,302 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 04:12:49 GMT McCain Lauds and Attacks Obama in Same Day - New York Times CBS News McCain Lauds and Attacks Obama in Same Day New York Times - 41 minutes ago Senator John McCain of Arizona and his supporters at a rally on Friday in La Crosse, Wis. By ELISABETH BUMILLER LAKEVILLE, Minn. - After a week of trying to portray Senator Barack Obama as a friend of terrorists who would drive the country into ... McCain Moves to Soften the Tone at Rallies Washington Post John McCain, speaking to supporters, tries to defuse an anti ... Los Angeles Times Reuters - DetNews.com - Austin American-Statesman - The Miami Herald all 304 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 05:08:14 GMT US Near Changing Stance on North Korea as Terrorist - Wall Street Journal BBC News US Near Changing Stance on North Korea as Terrorist Wall Street Journal - 1 hour ago By JAY SOLOMON WASHINGTON -- The Bush administration is hoping to announce as soon as Saturday that it is tentatively removing North Korea from its list of state sponsors of terrorism, in a bid to kick-start a stalled nuclear disarmament agreement, ... AP: US to remove North Korea from terror blacklist The Associated Press US May Remove North Korea From Terrorism List, AP Reports Bloomberg Los Angeles Times - Voice of America - Financial Times - The Miami Herald all 1,714 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 04:02:40 GMT G-7 Commit to `All Necessary Steps' to Stem Global Meltdown - Bloomberg Voice of America G-7 Commit to `All Necessary Steps' to Stem Global Meltdown Bloomberg - 1 hour ago By Simon Kennedy Oct. 11 (Bloomberg) -- Group of Seven finance chiefs, meeting after stocks plunged and as a global recession looms, vowed to prevent the failure of vital banks while failing to unveil new initiatives for thawing credit markets. Group of 7 Nations Seek Coordination in Rescue New York Times In latest bold step, Treasury will buy bank stakes The Miami Herald CNNMoney.com - The Associated Press - Boston Globe - FN Arena News all 890 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 04:03:42 GMT Paulson Indicates Need to Purchase Bank Equity `Soon as We Can' - Bloomberg Telegraph.co.uk Paulson Indicates Need to Purchase Bank Equity `Soon as We Can' Bloomberg - 1 hour ago By John Brinsley and Rebecca Christie Oct. 11 (Bloomberg) -- US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson indicated that pumping government funds into banks is a priority and said financial markets will remain volatile. US planning to buy equity in financial institutions Reuters Treasury Weighs Investing In Banks Washington Post International Herald Tribune - MarketWatch - CNNMoney.com - Bizjournals.com all 1,783 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 04:21:05 GMT Rss Feed Reader Increased Web Site Traffic

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Computer Consulting Profit Secrets

Do you own or manage a computer consulting company? Are... Read More

Innovation Management ? IBM Opens Lid On Its Treasure Chest

IBM, which registered 3248 patents last year, has decided that... Read More

Factoring Financing: How to Grow Your Business Without Debt or Loans

What is factoring?Accounts receivable financing, also known as factoring, is... Read More

How to get an Audiences Attention

A trainer dryly discussing how to motivate people in an... Read More

Manage or Lead ? Why the Difference Matters and What to Do About That Difference

Many books have been written about managing people, and an... Read More

Well-Defined Processes ? How to Create

Interested in learning how to reduce development time, save money... Read More

Look Good on Voice Mail

Your use of voice mail tells others a lot about... Read More

Recycling, Reverse Logistics and?..Candy

The candy box is a container for all your favourite... Read More

How to Delegate Effectively

ACCOUNTABILITY: Delegation is not complete unless subordinates are held accountable... Read More

The Gift of Gratitude

Gratitude might seem like a soft or even an obvious... Read More

Medical Collection. How Organized is Your Office?

At one time or another, all of us have experienced... Read More

Innovation Management ? Selecting Good Ideas

Creativity can be defined as problem identification and idea generation... Read More

Is this A Good Time To Sell Your Body Shop Business?

Have you ever asked yourself the question? "Is this a... Read More

Problem-Solving Success Tip: Use Your Time for Problems that are Truly Important

Use your time for problems that are truly important.Hard as... Read More

One Simple Idea to Grow Your Business

Perhaps the most common theme I've heard in working with... Read More

How to use NLP for Business?

What is Neuro-Linguistic Programming?Neuro-Linguistic programme is nothing but the study... Read More

Whatever it Takes!

I have a sign on my office door. It pretty... Read More

Turnaround or Terminate? How to Deal with Problem Employees

Do you struggle with a "problem" employee? If so, join... Read More

What Every Manager Should Know About How to Conduct Successful Training Activities

Whether you are training preschoolers in the classroom or executives... Read More

New Leadership For A New War

Military analysts call this "asymmetrical" war (as if war has... Read More

You Didnt Use Brainstorming to Select Your Measures, Did You?

IntroductionWhen Alex Osborn invented the creativity technique called brainstorming, I... Read More

Be a Change Agent ( Part 1)

Aligning business organizations to be successful in the present and... Read More

Leadership Skills Means Turnover is Not a Problem

"Ha!" you say. "For someone to make a statement like... Read More

Keep The Faith - Transform The Fear

FEAR! To what extent does fear rule your life? How... Read More

Solve Problems Permanently - Ask WHY

As Albert Einstein said:-"The significant problems we face today, cannot... Read More