Who Needs Heroes?

When we were talking the other day we started to think about our heroes when we were young. After we had discussed the usual film star and sports stars that we idolised I remembered Derek. Derek was a couple of years ahead of me in school and he had everything; he always got straight 'A's' and was formidable on the football field as well as one of the fastest over 100 metres. What's more he didn't appear to work at it. When the rest of us were 'slaving' away at our homework or sweating buckets trying to impress on the football field or athletics track he just turned up and got on with it. A natural, was how one of our teachers described him.

Natural or hero, Derek caused me and others a lot of pain. His skills and our hero worship caused us to begin the 'beating yourself up' process. You know the; 'I'm not good enough'. 'If only I could do that'.' I couldn't possibly do that'. The self defeating traits of inadequacy, insecurity and worthlessness and constant comparison with others all started here. With Derek, we started the comparison programme.

Comparison is just another name for subservience. When you compare yourself to someone you are really accepting that you are impressed by them, you want them to influence your life and are willingly bowing down to their perceived skills and abilities. The problem with subservience is that you can never be free. It takes away all your happiness and power. You end up confused and wilting like a flower.

The fact is comparing yourself with others not only stops you from being successful, it's destructive. As, Elizabeth Fisher an American author, stated;

'comparison is a death knell to sibling harmony'.

Suggesting that the minute you compare yourself with anybody the relationship is always going to be powerless. Because you are now in a subservient relationship.

The truth is that only prices, products and stores can be compared. Not people. You can compare key data any product, price or service. So when you compare yourself with others are you a product, price or service?

Remember those essays from school and university where you were always asked to compare and contrast something with the aim of showing the similarities and differences of an argument etc. But how do you do this with people? What is being compared or contrasted? How are people similar? Height, weight, age, the clothes they wear, walk, where they live, the cars they drive, their salary, their achievements, their views ?

Do you compare yourself with others?

Who do you compare yourself with?

What are the attributes you compare?

Are you comparing like with like?

You can compare males and females and they way they perform tasks, parents against children, different age groups. You can compare how your opinions are similar or different. But the best you can get is that you are mostly similar or mostly different. What about jealousy? How do you measure that?

You can compare products with different versions. But people? How do you compare yourself with your parents or grandparents? You could be like Shakespeare and compare yourself against nature i.e. beauty with day and night. But not compare one person against another.

Comparing yourself with others is like putting yourself in a prison. A prison which can only bring pain. A prison that stops you from experiencing your true talents. No one puts you in this prison, you do it all by yourself. You simply learn, as I did, not to accept yourself and reject who you really are in favour for what you perceive another person has. In other words you give yourself a hard time and delay your own growth because you thought the other person was better than you.

Trust yourself, you have all the skills you need to succeed. All you need is a change of process.

Stop judging yourself. Instead of comparing yourself with others, subverting your own power and constantly under performing; focus on your potential. What you want to be.

Meditate on where you want to be.

Imagine yourself achieving your potential. What does it look like, what does it feel like.

Surround yourself with images and artefacts depicting the future you and gradually, you will become what you always wanted to be.

The more you believe in your capabilities the more your behaviour will change. Access the hidden skills you have. Trust in yourself. You have far more skills and abilities than you are using at present.

If you have heroes then beware you could be taking away your skills, your individualism and making yourself subservient for the rest of your life. In which case who needs heroes?

About The Author

Graham and Julie

To see more of our work please go to: www.desktop-meditation.com

graham@desktop-meditation.com

---

Google News Updated : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 20:50:00 GMT Thai Army Sends Troops to Help Police Keep Peace - Washington Post Voice of America Thai Army Sends Troops to Help Police Keep Peace Washington Post - 4 hours ago Thailand's military agreed Tuesday to deploy hundreds of unarmed soldiers to the streets of Bangkok to help police restore order after violent clashes between police and protesters that left at least 1 person dead. Video: Raw Video: Tear Gas Fired at Thai Protestors AssociatedPress Troops deployed as one dead, hundreds hurt in Thai protests AFP Reuters UK - Hindu - eTaiwan News - The Standard all 1,327 news articles Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 16:12:03 GMT Wells Fargo may get lion's share of Wachovia deposits: report - MarketWatch Sify Wells Fargo may get lion's share of Wachovia deposits: report MarketWatch - 32 minutes ago By John Spence, MarketWatch BOSTON (MarketWatch) -- Wells Fargo & Co. may get as much as 80% of Wachovia Corp.'s deposits, with the remainder likely going to Citigroup Inc., according to a published report Tuesday. Citi, Wachovia, Wells temporarily halt litigation Bizjournals.com Wachovia shares waver as Citi, Wells Fargo wrangle Forbes BloggingStocks - Washington Post - New York Times - CNNMoney.com all 7,781 news articles Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 20:17:51 GMT AIG's ex-CEOs blamed for crisis - CNNMoney.com Los Angeles Times AIG's ex-CEOs blamed for crisis CNNMoney.com - 1 hour ago House panel chairman says executives got undeserved riches, while ex-CEOs blame accounting rules and market conditions for leading to $85B bailout. Joe Cassano: The Man Who Brought Down AIG? Washington Post AIG CEOs Blame Each Other, Accounting for Insurer's Downfall Bloomberg Wall Street Journal - Financial Times - New York Times - Forbes all 768 news articles Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 19:11:18 GMT Bernanke hints at possible interest rate cut - MarketWatch The Associated Press Bernanke hints at possible interest rate cut MarketWatch - 31 minutes ago By Greg Robb, MarketWatch WASHINGTON (MarketWatch) - Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke opened the door on Tuesday for a possible interest rate cut to help rescue the economy from a severe downturn, admitting that the global panic in the financial ... Video: Bernanke signals possible rate cut ReutersVideo Bernanke: Economic outlook weaker CNNMoney.com New York Times - Forbes - Reuters - MSN Money all 988 news articles Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 20:18:10 GMT Sleuth's Presidential Debate Watch Game - Washington Post Sleuth's Presidential Debate Watch Game Washington Post - 41 minutes ago Tonight's debate watch games probably won't be as much fun as last week's Palin Bingo. But don't fret, there are still games to be played during this second presidential debate between John McCain and Barack Obama. 'Aggressive' debate expected between McCain, Obama CNN * McCain looks for way to stop Obama's momentum Reuters The Associated Press - MSNBC - U.S. News & World Report - TIME all 1,199 news articles Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 20:08:21 GMT Qantas Involved in Another Air Incident - New York Times NEWS.com.au Qantas Involved in Another Air Incident New York Times - 25 minutes ago By Liz Robbins It has been 20 years since Dustin Hoffman’s character Raymond Babbitt in “Rain Man” made Qantas synonymous with air safety, claiming he would only fly the Australian airline because it had never crashed. Qantas passengers arrive in Perth after mid-air ordeal ABC Online Fifteen badly hurt as Qantas jet drops Sydney Morning Herald The Standard - Taipei Times - United Press International - NEWS.com.au all 366 news articles Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 20:24:06 GMT Cough, Cold Drugs Not for Kids Under 4 - WebMD CBS News Cough, Cold Drugs Not for Kids Under 4 WebMD - 2 hours ago By Miranda Hitti Oct. 7, 2008 -- Don't use over-the-counter pediatric cough and cold drugs in kids younger than 4. Leading makers of over-the-counter pediatric cough and cold drugs are putting that message on the products' labels, according to the ... Cold, Cough Medicines for Children Get Added Warnings (Update3) Bloomberg Drug Companies Say No Cold Meds for Kids Under 4 Washington Post Chicago Tribune - New York Times - Bizjournals.com - The Associated Press all 1,485 news articles Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:48:20 GMT Add RSS Feeds To My Web Pages Increase Online Traffic

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

None of Us Arrived with an Owners Manual: A Fresh Perspective on the Drive to Lead (part 2)

Why didn't I get an Owner's ManualAfter a little while... Read More

Leadership Skills - 10 Ways to Beef Up

10 Ways to Beef Up Your Leadership SkillsHave you ever... Read More

Leaders ARE; Are you?

Identity CrisisIt's not only the knowledge you carry around in... Read More

Follow My Leader - To Effect Change, Leaders Must Walk the Talk!

A leader's roleIn any change project, a leader must wear... Read More

Abraham Lincoln Is Still Alive

Abraham Lincoln Is Still Alive President Jimmy Carter tells in... Read More

Professional Organizations: Join or Fold?

All of us join professional organizations for a reason--a friend... Read More

Hidden Self Confidence

Peer independence is arguably the least understood aspect of self... Read More

Dream Bigger!

A number of years ago we created a graphic logo... Read More

Leadership and Power - Being the Boss Doesnt Guarantee Either of Them

Some people mistakenly associate supervisory positions, or seats of power,... Read More

Precious Moments

There is too much learning out there that we earn... Read More

Awaken the Leader in You: 10 Easy Steps To Develop Your Leadership Skills

"The miracle power that elevates the few is to be... Read More

Leadership ? Push vs. Pull?

At your next staff meeting consider leading your team through... Read More

Business Leadership: How Much is in Your Credibility Bank Account?

Business leaders have more than a title on their doors.... Read More

Would Socrates Be A Celebrity Today?

Last week, as I was standing in the checkout line... Read More

Having Fun In Leadership

"Don't measure your life by your goals, but rather by... Read More

Exceptional Leadership Inspires the Best Effort in Others

There is a steady stream being written and taught about... Read More

Top Skills Of Extraordinary Leaders

1. Good Communicator. Extraordinary Leaders are those who can take... Read More

Real Charisma, Clinton Style

What exactly is Charisma? Most would agree that it is... Read More

Is Your Life Ready For Groundhog Day?

In the hit comedic movie Groundhog Day, Bill Murray's character,... Read More

Unleash It!

On airplanes, in restaurants, in the newspaper and on television,... Read More

Lead People...Manage Things

Master The Five Key Facets of High Performance LeadershipMany people... Read More

Top 25 Leadership Quotations

Ponder what it takes to be a true leader with... Read More

3 Cs Leaders Must Communicate!

"Of every noble work the silent part is best, Of... Read More

Leadership Prep

So you want to be a leader? Or you want... Read More

Leadership - L.P.B It!

"Dissatisfaction and discouragement are not caused by the absence of... Read More