Leadership Skills: Four Ways of Overcoming Perfectionism
We pay a high price for perfectionism. "What perfectionism?" we perfectionists mutter. "We've known for years perfectionism is not healthy so we have dealt with this issue and strive for personal excellence only!" Really?
When you slip-up - maybe handle a situation, task or project less than perfectly ? what do you say to yourself? Are you able to commend yourself on what you did well and perhaps then, note a thing or two you could improve upon? Or do you focus on the mistake or less-than-perfect behavior neglecting your positive efforts?
Recently I completed facilitating six evening "Leadership" sessions. Being only my second time facilitating this particular series I closely observed my "perfectionistic" tendency. As I completed each session I could readily see areas I could have improved upon.
Commend Yourself! Gently Observe Improvements!
For me, it took a huge effort to commend myself on what I had done well and to be gentle with myself on the areas of improvement. In fact, I made a pointed effort of congratulating myself after each session and allowed myself the joy and relief of savoring a job well done when the series of six was completed. This is not a simple, natural process for us perfectionists.
To further this exercise in self-acknowledgement I did not read my participant's evaluations at the program end as usual. This was perhaps a first in my fourteen years of facilitating. Too often, I have rushed to read the evaluations to determine my success.
Eventually I will receive a summary of the evaluations from the College I was contracted to but more importantly, I have deepened my self esteem and self worth through rewarding, congratulating and commending myself despite what others may think. To be a strong leader and healthy human being let us begin now acknowledging our achievements rather than devaluing our worth and work.
Herein, we begin to wean ourselves from being reliant on outside influences to determine our worth or how well we have done. We begin to befriend ourselves and give the internal "Judge" less power over us.
Not only are we robbed of the enjoyment of our efforts by focusing on what went wrong and neglecting to commend ourselves but also, by rushing into worry over the next thing we have to do. When caught in this repetitive ritual of "not good enough? do better? do more?" I have found this simple phrase very freeing?
Not Perfect but Well Enough!
Feel the relief and comfort of this phrase, "not perfect but well enough!" Yes! Thank You God! "Thank You God" is another simple phrase that can help relieve us of the burden of perfectionism. Not only have I been working on giving myself credit but also on thanking God for His/Her part in my success. I know I must constantly turn to my God, my Source, my Higher Power ? call it what you will ? for guidance in all I do.
In the perfectionist's mind it is all up to ME to do everything so very, very well but of course - never quite measuring up. The more I trust that God is working in me and through me the more I can lay down the heavy burden of perfectionism. It is not all up to ME. My job is to "do my best and give God the rest."
Do My Best and Give God the Rest
Even in the midst of our fear, doubt and inadequacy we can comfort and encourage ourselves by knowing it is not all up to us. We can trust God is also at work and all is unfolding according to a Grand Design far greater than our understanding. As an Alcoholics Anonymous slogan so simply says "Let go and let God."
We can become better leaders and human beings and release ourselves from the bondage of perfectionism by practicing these few ideas.
1. Commend yourself on a job well done.
2. Be gentle observing your areas of improvement.
3. Remember: "Not perfect but well enough!
4. Do your best and give God the rest.
What a relief to give up responsibility for doing everything AND doing it perfectly!
Teresa Proudlove has been inspiring, supporting, and guiding over 3000 people upon their career and life work path for over fourteen years - with compassion and heart. Teresa's workshops offer a deeper understanding and respect for ourselves, for others, and for our lifework path. This entrepreneurial woman also owned and successfully operated two women's retail boutiques for ten years. For over twelve years, Teresa was a well-read newspaper columnist. Visit Teresa at http://www.yourlifework.com; listen to your inner guidance and navigate through life and work with more meaning, acceptance and peace.
 Google News Updated : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:51:32 GMT Worth the trouble - Boston Herald Boston Herald - By Dan Duggan As Red Sox [team stats] fans shook out the cobwebs yesterday morning after yet another marathon postseason game, it would have been easy to forget some of the positive developments from the Sox’ 9-8, 11-inning loss to Tampa Bay in Game 2 ... Video: Tampa Bay Wins Slugfest on Sacrifice Fly Rays win respect, too Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:12:18 GMT Television Review | 'My Own Worst Enemy' - New York Times
New York Times - By ALESSANDRA STANLEY Most people sometimes wake up on the wrong side of bed. The hero of “My Own Worst Enemy” on NBC wakes up on the wrong side of his brain. 'Worst Enemy' Just Isn't Bourne-Again Bond Spy-vs.-normal-guy premise of 'Worst Enemy' doesn't work Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 04:54:37 GMT UPDATE 1-Tropical Storm Nana forms in Atlantic - Reuters
Reuters - MIAMI, Oct 12 (Reuters) - Tropical Storm Nana, the 14th of the Atlantic hurricane season, formed on Sunday in the Atlantic Ocean east of the Caribbean islands, the US National Hurricane Center said. Tropical Storm Nana forms in Atlantic Tropical Storm Nana Forms Over Eastern Atlantic Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 21:29:57 GMT Jennifer Lopez, Marc Anthony renew vows along with Carlos Beltran ... - New York Daily News
New York Daily News - BY DAVE GOLDINER Just four years after saying "I do," Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony reportedly secretly renewed their vows in Las Vegas Sunday - and they had company at the altar. Inside Jennifer Lopez & Marc Anthony's Renewal Ceremony J.Lo’s vows not staying in Vegas Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 04:39:55 GMT Alaska ethics probe says Palin abused her power - Reuters
Reuters - By Caren Bohan CHILLICOTHE, Ohio (Reuters) - An Alaska ethics inquiry found on Friday that Gov. Sarah Palin, the US Republican vice presidential candidate, abused her authority by pressuring subordinates to fire a state trooper involved in a feud with ... Palin: Bad Guys vs. Good Guys Palin talks economic worries in Appalachian Ohio Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:10:53 GMT Doubling of Vitamin D for Children Is Urged - New York Times
New York Times - By AP CHICAGO (AP) - The country’s leading group of pediatricians is recommending that children receive double the usually suggested amount of vitamin D because of evidence that it might help prevent serious diseases. Pediatricians double vitamin D recommendations Pediatricians double vitamin D recommendations Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 02:45:16 GMT Manatee dies before reaching Florida - South Coast Today
South Coast Today - By AARON GOUVEIA and KC MYERS EAST DENNIS - After a dramatic rescue Saturday morning, a wayward manatee known affectionately as Dennis died Sunday with just one hour before he reached SeaWorld in Florida. Manatee almost gave them the slip Cape Cod Manatee Dies on Way Back to Florida Publ.Date : Mon, 13 Oct 2008 05:14:57 GMT Increased Website Traffic |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... A poem hangs on the wall at Mother Theresa's orphanage... Read More Extraordinary Leaders are those who understand that in order for... Read More It's interesting to hear the responses from executives when I... Read More The first time I meet a leader to decide if... Read More SET CLEAR AND REASONABLE OBJECTIVES FOR THEMSELVES AND OTHERS: Plan?... Read More Women should not be afraid of or feel guilty about... Read More What do you think makes your company successful? Your newest... Read More DESCRIPTION CMOE's Leadership Skill Training addresses a wide range of... Read More Our studies of the most effective people in corporate America... Read More Mentoring is one of the best ways to learn, to... Read More Leaders do nothing more important than get results. But you... Read More Complaining. There's room for legitimate complaining, but if you let... Read More In Part 1, I said that leaders who can't have... Read More A number of years ago we created a graphic logo... Read More When people make a decision (either consciously or unconsciously) to... Read More How does one go about getting deep results? There are... Read More You've spent the last 12 years riding your technical skills... Read More "Trust is the emotional glue that binds followers and... Read More Purpose: Learn immediately if you are fostering leadership or ignoring... Read More "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took... Read More Years ago, a very wise, and often cynical boss of... Read More It's a common occurrence, a CEO leads a company to... Read More "Who rules or guides or inspires others"Having excellent guide skills... Read More I was invited to do a Leadership workshop at a... Read More Answers are often before our very eyes or in front... Read More
Adsense
websites
The Ten Commandments of Leadership
The Best Ways To Multiply The Extraordinary Leadership in Your Organization
Characteristics of a Good Leader
In Leadership, Good Enough Is Pretty Bad
Effective Leaders are (#2) Technical
Ten Ways Women Can Visualize Themselves As Leaders
You Make The Difference
Benefits of Leadership Skill Training
Listening Like a Leader
Make the Most of Your Mentoring Relationships
The Three Factors of Leadership Motivation
Dont Be a Complainer
In Leadership, The Eight Ways Of Right Action (Part 2)
Dream Bigger!
Common Mistakes Extraordinary Leaders Dont Make
Leadership For Deep Results: Without Them Are You Wasting Your Leadership And Your Life? (Part Two)
People Problems -- Understanding the Dueling Paradigms
Trust - The Most Vital Component in Leadership
Leadership: Seed or Fruit?
Take the Road Less Traveled
Leadership Success and its Greatest Barrier: the Law of Administrivia
The Greatest Leaders Are Often The Worst Leaders
Learn How to Lead People
Rationalize Success Away
Wanted: A Dictionary-Perfect Leader
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
The Four Laws Of Leadership (Part One)
Leadership is motivational or it's stumbling in the dark. After... Read More
Five Steps Towards Greater Self Confidence
We watch the star athlete calmly make the final shot,... Read More
The Power of the Leader Within - The Keys to Martial Arts Life Mastery, Key#1
"What do you want to be when you grow up?"Remember... Read More
Leadership ? Push vs. Pull?
At your next staff meeting consider leading your team through... Read More
3 Dynamic Techniques To Boost Your Executive Leadership!
Here's a really simple way to measure the strength of... Read More
The Tao of Leadership
There can be no doubt that the ancient author of... Read More
3 Ds For Leadership Action... Dedicate, Direct, Dialogue!
"...And winged hope, with heart of fire, To gain the... Read More
Dissolving Conflict Through Reframing
Reframing is looking at the situation with a new set... Read More
Hidden Self Confidence
Peer independence is arguably the least understood aspect of self... Read More
To Be An Effective Leader, Do A Check-up From The Neck Up
Before we can effectively lead anyone, we must take an... Read More
Leadership Training and Character
The vast majority of leadership training available to managers focuses... Read More
The Sink Or Swim Approach To Leadership
Looking around in most corporate environments today you'll find mission,... Read More
F2 Leadership
People don't leave jobs; they leave bosses. -- AnonymousCongratulations. You're... Read More
Fighting the Gravitational Pull of Positional Leadership
A little on leadership?Many people enter the leadership world through... Read More
The Three Essential Attributes of a Leader: (Part 2) Bringing Others to the Vision
We need to engage our listeners and transform them into... Read More
10 Ways to Develop Your Latent Leader
latent (adj.) ? Not visible or apparent, but capable of... Read More
E=MC - Is It In Me?
How many times have you seen the E = MC2... Read More
Stepping Into Leadership and Being The Source Of Your Success
Why is it that we often wait until we have... Read More
Evil, Hostile Grumpy Listeners? Think Again
I hated Kyle Sisk*. A notorious bully, Kyle punctuated my... Read More
Managing Monsters in Meetings - Part 5, Dominant Participants
While dominant participants contribute significantly to the success of a... Read More
Two Vital Abilities Any Leader Must Have
As a business owner, you are a leader whether you... Read More
Act on Some of the Facts
Making any decision without having all of the information and... Read More
The Three Faces of Leadership
This article was published in the Nov. 2003 edition of... Read More
What Every Manager Should Know About How to See the Talents of Effective Leaders
An organization of any size, from the family to the... Read More
The Four Laws Of Leadership (Part Two)
In Part One, I described the laws of motivation. In... Read More
Leadership |