Internet Marketing Secrets Spiel

Wouldn't you like to know all the Internet marketing "secrets" that have made me the man I am today?

I live in a house way too big for my beautiful wife and myself. We eat three square meals a day and can snack anytime we feel like it! We drive our luxurious Cavalier to the beach and swim anytime we want (when I'm not busy making money on the Internet and the beach is not closed because of E. coli levels or ice fishing).

It wasn't always this way. I remember just about fifty-two short years ago when I had no clothes. The doctor had to wrap me up in a blanket. But I applied myself for decades and finally starting making money on the Internet.

Did you hear about the guy that made fifty million dollars in one day on eBay? Peanuts! If you want to make really huge amounts of cash from e-commerce, listen to a guy who's been there.

Why should I tell you (a perfect stranger) all my tricks of the trade? Why don't I just keep the information to myself and make a ton of cash with that knowledge?

These are good questions. This proves that you are thinking and that people on the Internet are not stupid or gullible.

The real reason I am sharing this information is because I like people. In fact, I like you. I consider you one of my closest friends because you are interested in my one passion, Internet marketing. The fact that you have read this far proves your interest. Because you are so smart and motivated, I want to help you.

The fact that I am going to release only 5,000 copies of my Internet marketing "secrets" at $5,000 a pop, for a cool $25,000,000, has absolutely nothing to do with money.

You see, I don't really need the money. We only have three more payments to go on the Cavalier. My fridge is full of Canadian beer. So, money is obviously not my prime motivation.

My charging you $5,000 for my Internet marketing "secrets" is my way of giving back to the community. Really, I'm doing all this to help you because I want to leave behind a legacy. I want people to say (after I'm dead and have no clue about what's going on) what a great philanthropist I was.

By the way, the lawyer at the legal clinic said I should tell you two words: "Earnings Disclaimer".

Even though anyone as smart and motivated and good-looking as you is sure to make billions on the Internet working two or less hours a week, he insisted that I tell you. (Aren't these creative types hilarious?)

He says: "There is no guarantee that you will make any money. Some persons are stupid, lazy and ugly and have zero chance of success."

What a party pooper!

RESOURCE BOX:

J. Stephen Pope, President of Pope Consulting Inc., has been helping clients to earn maximum business profits for over twenty-five years.

For profitable Work at Home Small Business Ideas, visit http://www.yenommarketinginc.com/

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Google News Updated : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:48:34 GMT Free Prescription Drug Samples Pose Risk to Kids - U.S. News & World Report eFluxMedia Free Prescription Drug Samples Pose Risk to Kids U.S. News & World Report - 1 hour ago MONDAY, Oct. 6 (HealthDay News) -- Free prescription drug samples distributed to pediatric patients may be unsafe, research suggests. Study Says Drug Samples May Endanger Children New York Times Study Shows Free Drug Samples Pose Health Risk For Kids dBTechno Boston Globe - eMaxHealth.com - USA Today - eFluxMedia all 43 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:06:45 GMT SEC Launches Investigation in Jobs Heart Attack Rumor - The Mac Observer The Age SEC Launches Investigation in Jobs Heart Attack Rumor The Mac Observer - 1 hour ago by Jeff Gamet , 8:10 AM EDT, October 6th, 2008 The US Securities and Exchange Commission has launched an investigation into the false report that Apple CEO Steve Jobs suffered a heart attack. SEC Probing Steve Jobs Heart-Attack Rumor FOXNews Faux Citizen Journalist Report Gives Apple Stock a Tumble Marketing Vox News Digitaltrends.com - editorsweblog.org - RedOrbit - Hollywood Reporter all 23 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 12:59:12 GMT ‘Beverly Hills Chihuahua’ is the big dog at the weekend box office - Monsters and Critics.com National Post ‘Beverly Hills Chihuahua’ is the big dog at the weekend box office Monsters and Critics.com - 2 hours ago By Patrick Luce Oct 6, 2008, 12:15 GMT It looks like Disney has another family hit with "Beverly Hills Chihuahua" barking up to the top spot on the weekend box office with an estimated $29 million. Video: Madonna, Beverly Hills Chihuahua, Janet Jackson AssociatedPress Chihuahua' Is Top Dog at Box Office Entertainment Weekly Washington Post - BBC News - Hollywood Reporter - Reuters all 571 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 12:25:05 GMT OJ Simpson jury: Tapes did football legend in - New York Daily News BBC News OJ Simpson jury: Tapes did football legend in New York Daily News - 8 hours ago BY NANCY DILLON Jurors, including Dora Pettit (with mike), say they set aside personal feelings and based guilty OJ Simpson conviction on facts. Video: OJ Jury: We Didn't Need Witnesses to Convict AssociatedPress OJ Simpson Isolated In Jail For Safety WESH.com San Francisco Chronicle - eFluxMedia - Los Angeles Times - KBTX all 3,129 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 06:25:31 GMT Poland avoid World Cup ban after deal reached - CNN Canoe.ca Poland avoid World Cup ban after deal reached CNN - 37 minutes ago BRUSSELS, Belgium (AP) -- Poland's suspended football federation reached a last-minute deal with the government on Monday that will allow it to avoid a suspension by FIFA and likely retain hosting rights to the 2012 European Championship. Blatter says Polish soccer issues resolved The Associated Press Fifa to drop Poland ban threat SkySports Bleacher Report - Fifa.com - Reuters UK - guardian.co.uk all 326 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:10:53 GMT 8 Killed in California Bus Accident - New York Times Sky News 8 Killed in California Bus Accident New York Times - 48 minutes ago By LIZ ROBBINS Eight people died and dozens more were injured when a charter bus bound for a casino north of Sacramento flipped over and rolled into a ditch Sunday evening. Video: Bus Crash Kills 10 AssociatedPress At least 7 killed, 38 injured in Greyhound bus crash Los Angeles Times News10.net - KQCA, My58.com - KTLA - BBC News all 1,220 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 14:00:08 GMT Three Europeans Win the 2008 Nobel for Medicine - New York Times New York Times Three Europeans Win the 2008 Nobel for Medicine New York Times - 1 hour ago By LAWRENCE K. ALTMAN Three European scientists who discovered viruses that cause cervical cancer and AIDS share this year’s Nobel Prize in medicine. Nobel winner pessimistic on AIDS vaccine International Herald Tribune German, French scientists win Nobel Prize for medicine People's Daily Online AFP - Wall Street Journal Blogs - Kaiser network.org - Scientific American all 589 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 13:20:56 GMT RSS Software Increased Website Traffic

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