Two Drops Of Water

Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 17, 2002

My problem is that I am falling in love. My friend and I are both 23. He lives in the United States, seven hours away from where I live in Canada. Just yesterday I came back from seeing him again.

I always have such a wonderful time, but this time on the trip home I started missing him as if a part of myself was also missing. It was such a sad and empty feeling I wished I didn't have to come home.

We share romantic feelings, and when we are together, those feelings are expressed in displays of affection and acts of kindness. We hold hands and kiss, he pays for my meals and takes the day off work to drive me around.

The boundaries between friends and more than friends have blurred between us, and now as I get to know him more, I find I am becoming involved deeper and deeper.

We are both aware we care for each other, but I have not told him how intense my feelings have become. We have differences, distance and religion. Before he met me, the religious aspect ended a relationship because they were unable to agree how to raise a family.

With myself religion is not an issue. I would be okay raising children in another religion. I want to express what I feel, but I do not know how to talk to him without scaring him. I am afraid of the vulnerability which comes with this. I do not want to get hurt, but even more, I do not want to miss the opportunity to be with him.

Petula

Petula, I once loved a woman with whom I had a mostly business relationship, but I was moving away permanently. Still, I couldn't leave without telling her I loved her, and a little speech rehearsed itself in my mind, almost against my will.

When I went to see her for the last time, she was busy and asked me to step into another room and help myself to coffee. On a table was a letter telling of her love for me. That woman was Tamara. We met in an embrace and have been together ever since.

With the greatest risk comes the greatest reward. One of the most important lessons of life is learning not to let fear ruin our chances for happiness. If you share your feelings and they aren't reciprocated, you will be devastated. For a while. But you will also be closer to finding the person with whom you can share love for a lifetime.

Wayne

The Glue

I went abroad for a year and dated a man a few years my senior. The man I met is Irish, like myself.

I miss him terribly and keep telling him this on the phone, which seems to be really annoying him. I try my best not to, but I can't help myself. He recently sent a present for my birthday. He sent the receipt also, and without thinking I gave out about it.

What I said came out completely wrong. I apologized, but he stopped ringing me completely. I know pressuring wasn't helping, but I just love to hear from him. I've been a jealous person for as long as I remember.

He told me his former girlfriend was the prettiest girl in the county. He left her because she did the dirt on him, but that made me uneasy as well. Could you please help? I love him to bits and don't want to lose him.

Erin

Erin, the essence of jealousy is "it's mine." The essence of love is "it is meant to be." Your pursuit is pushing this man away. Stop chasing him. If he comes back, remember a person is not a possession. Love is the glue in a relationship. When it is gone, so is the relationship.

Tamara

About The Author

Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.

Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.

In The News:


Google News
Updated : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 11:56:09 GMT

Cambodia: Thailand withdraws troops from border - The Associated Press


Washington Post
Cambodia: Thailand withdraws troops from border
The Associated Press - 2 hours ago
PHNOM PENH, Cambodia (AP) - Thai troops retreated from a disputed border zone Tuesday, a Cambodian general said, averting a possible military clash after Cambodia's prime minister issued an ultimatum to Thailand to withdraw by midday.
Thai army to maintain troops in disputed area Xinhua
Thailand, Cambodia spar over border troop positions AFP
AHN - Scotsman - Bernama
all 747 news articles

Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 09:51:31 GMT

Kashkari Leaps From Obscurity to Lead Role in US Bank Rescue - Bloomberg


New York Daily News
Kashkari Leaps From Obscurity to Lead Role in US Bank Rescue
Bloomberg - 3 hours ago
By Robert Schmidt and Rebecca Christie Oct. 14 (Bloomberg) -- Minutes before Neel Kashkari's public debut as the chief of the US Treasury's financial rescue plan, he sat in a hotel lobby in Washington, unrecognized by many of the international bankers ...
What Treasury is planning CNNMoney.com
After Historic Rally, Feds To Buy Bank Ownerships WCBS-TV New York
Reuters - Bizjournals.com - San Francisco Chronicle - The Associated Press
all 1,670 news articles

Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 07:57:34 GMT

Berlusconi Shares Investor Pain With $2 Billion Loss (Update2) - Bloomberg


Voice of America
Berlusconi Shares Investor Pain With $2 Billion Loss (Update2)
Bloomberg - 2 hours ago
By Andrew Davis and Lorenzo Totaro Oct. 14 (Bloomberg) -- Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi promises Italians they won't lose ``even a euro'' of their bank accounts in the current credit crisis.
Video: Bush Says He Will Help US Banks AssociatedPress
Bush To Speak About $250 Billion Banking Rescue Plan Monday Morning AHN
BBC News - Voice of America - The Associated Press - Wall Street Journal
all 809 news articles

Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 09:46:59 GMT

Asian, European Markets Continue Upbeat Rally - Washington Post


Washington Post
Asian, European Markets Continue Upbeat Rally
Washington Post - 1 hour ago
By Blaine Harden TOKYO, Oct. 14 -- Feverish buying in Japan on Tuesday replaced last week's market panic, as the benchmark Nikkei stock index soared to its largest-ever percentage gain in a single day, up 14.15 percent -- part of a global rally in ...
Video: Asia Markets Mostly Up Monday AssociatedPress
World Markets Reflect Growing Hope TIME
The Associated Press - guardian.co.uk - Bloomberg - MarketWatch
all 1,133 news articles

Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:11:14 GMT

North Korea to resume nuclear dismantlement - The Associated Press


Voice of America
North Korea to resume nuclear dismantlement
The Associated Press - 2 hours ago
SEOUL, South Korea (AP) - North Korea planned to resume dismantling its nuclear program Tuesday for the first time in two months, days after the United States removed the communist regime from a terrorism blacklist as a reward under a disarmament pact.
IAEA: N. Korea disabling set for Tuesday CNN International
North Korean foreign minister set for nuclear talks in Moscow RIA Novosti
Bloomberg - AFP - New York Times - Daily Nexus
all 3,718 news articles

Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 09:11:42 GMT

House Race Is Shaken by Report of an Affair - New York Times


ABC News
House Race Is Shaken by Report of an Affair
New York Times - 8 hours ago
By IAN URBINA WASHINGTON - The Florida congressman who succeeded Mark Foley after he resigned because of a sex scandal is now embroiled in a sex scandal of his own, and has requested a Congressional ethics investigation to clear his name.
A Florida (House) Bombshell Washington Post
House to investigate lawmaker for alleged affair, ethics lapse CNN
The Associated Press - Local10.com - CBS News
all 357 news articles

Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 03:20:36 GMT

Milk, Sunshine Each Day Keep the Doctor Away - Washington Post


ABC News
Milk, Sunshine Each Day Keep the Doctor Away
Washington Post - 5 hours ago
ยท Kids from newborns to teenagers should take twice as much Vitamin D as previously recommended because it may help prevent serious disease, a leading medical group said yesterday.
Video: HealthWatch CBS
More tenacious about vitamin D Chicago Tribune
Reuters - WBIR-TV - WebMD - eFluxMedia
all 656 news articles

Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 06:17:28 GMT

RSS Feed Reader
Web Site Traffic


PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Quotable Quotes Are Nothing More Than Flowery Words

Quotable quotes are nothing more than flowery words... And anyone... Read More

Keep on Keeping on!

Whenever we are working on our dreams we are going... Read More

The Seasons Of Life, Part 4 of 5

This week is Part Four of our five part series... Read More

Smile! Banish Your Fear

Changing our physiology is one of the best ways to... Read More

You Can Quickly And Easily Solve Your Problems

Today I just wanted to write you a quick note... Read More

A Word Fitly Spoken ~ Believe

A Word Fitly SpokenA word fitly spoken is like apples... Read More

Imagine How Different The World Would Look Just By Knowing What Type of Learner You Are

Are you a listener or a writer type of learner?President... Read More

Why Integrity!

There is much said in the word "integrity"! According to... Read More

You Reap What You Sow

There is an old principle: You reap what you sow.... Read More

Anam Cara - Losing your Religion

I am sitting before a window of morning light "losing... Read More

Discernment and Judgement

Discernment is an inner guide or compass. It is loving... Read More

From the Hint of a Rainbow to...

The grey sky of morning contained an ominous quality. The... Read More

Hitler and the Tsunami

In Catholic school the nuns used to tell us that... Read More

Fighting Grief: The Time To Show You Care

The news came as a shock to us all. He... Read More

Imaginings

Most people like movies. Some, like me, are enthralled by... Read More

Computers and Internet: Inspiring Us to Create

The Internet is sometimes criticized (usually by parents who think... Read More

How Healing The Past Empowers Your Future

Everyday I meet people who have a chronic upset that... Read More

Big O

Growing up, I remember my Dad had some really good... Read More

The Pursuit of Greatness

On June 3rd, 1948, a blast rocked the Black Hills... Read More

Anam Chara - Wishing Versus Wanting

There is an old saying, which warns, "be careful for... Read More

5 Things That Americans Can Do To Remember Reviving, Surviving and Thriving in the Wake of Sept 11

For those people who lost friends and loved ones... Read More

The Dot

We have all grown up in an age where exploration... Read More

Showing Your Appreciation - How To Make Others Feel Special

"There are fine things which you mean to do someday,... Read More

Ever Wondered Why Everyone Else is Moving On, Except You?

"I attend courses, read books, listen to CD's, yet I... Read More

Getting Unstuck

According to the Buddhists, between January 29 and February 12... Read More