By Now, Im an Expert at Memory Loss

I sat down to write my weekly humor column, but I just could not remember what I wanted to write about. This seems to be an increasingly more common affliction, ever since I turned 40. For instance, like most people over 40, I often can't remember my age.

In fact, I am quite certain I am not yet 40. How do I know? Well, I can't remember turning 40, for starters.

But memory loss is nothing new for me. It began when I was born. Try as I might, I just cannot remember being born. This strikes me as strange. Birth is arguably the most momentous and triumphant event in a person's life. It is the reason I am alive. It is my coming out party. Birth is a tremendous opportunity for personal growth and a fairly important prerequisite for developing proper social etiquette.

People even celebrate the anniversary of my birth every year by converging on my house or throwing heart-attack-inducing Surprise!! parties. But strangely, none of the birthday celebrations have helped me remember my birth. Even stranger is that people who could have no memory of my birth, such as my wife and younger brothers, keep celebrating it.

Perhaps memory loss is the result of trauma. We block out from our memory traumatic events. Like birth, for instance. Imagine being squeezed through a steel toilet paper tube with mucus and blood and other assorted ooey gooey stuff, with something resembling an alien tentacle protruding from where your bellybutton is supposed to be.

Sure, birth was my highest moment of triumph, but I am in no hurry to repeat it. I prefer to retire while I am still at the top of your game.

Little Sister had a more traumatic birth than many, and we posted her child birth story with pictures at: http://www.thehappyguy.com/birth-story.html . Fortunately, she did not retire at the top of her game, as she continues to improve.

I have never been able to remember names either. Perhaps that is because meeting people is also traumatic. I say that in jest, because that is what I am supposed to do in a humor column, but many people find it very traumatic to meet new people, which is one of the reasons I recommend them to The Fine Art of Small Talk:

http://www.thehappyguy.com/book-review-small-talk.html

I, on the other hand, find it traumatic to meet old people. One reason I work from home, sitting in front of a computer screen, might be to avoid too many stand-up receptions trying to remember the names of strangers I'm supposed to know. I just can't remember their names.

It's not totally true. I can often remember names, I just can't seem to attach them to faces, which I hear is a common problem. Like many people, my brain-glue was recalled for factory defects. I should have opened that recall notice when it arrived.

One game you can play to help attach names to faces is pin-the-name-on-the-donkey. This works great for people with defective brain-glue, because it uses ins instead of glue. I suggest you do this in your mind, not in the actual reception room. Many people object to having things pinned to their faces, and a few might even object to being called donkeys. Most importantly, you could be in violation of local safety ordinances, especially if you use a stapler.

Another common strategy many people use to remember names is to repeat the person's name several times. However, I think that sounds a bit silly.

"And who are you?"

"It's Trina."

"Hi Trina, how are you?"

"Just great. How are the kids?"

"Trina, the kids are doing very well. How are yours?"

"I don't have kids."

"I see, Trina."

"After meeting every month at this function for the past decade, I thought you would remember that I have no kids. By the way, why do you keep repeating my name?"

Perhaps meeting people is less traumatic than being born. At least I do remember meeting people, and not always waking up in a cold sweat. And I do remember their names. And I do remember their faces. And I even remember a few of their birthdays. But try as I might, I don't remember any of them being born.

Now, what was I going to write about this week? I just can't remember.

About The Author

David Leonhardt is a humor columnist: http://www.TheHappyGuy.com/positive-thinking-free-ezine.html

Read more humor and funny stories: http://www.thehappyguy.com/humor-articles.html

Info@thehappyguy.com

---

Google News Updated : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 20:48:44 GMT What’s Next For OJ Simpson? - WJBF-TV BBC News What’s Next For OJ Simpson? WJBF-TV - 37 minutes ago OJ Simpson is back behind bars, convicted of kidnapping, armed robbery, and 10 other charges. Jury questionnaires, released Saturday, reveal 5 jurors disagreed with Simpson’s 1995 acquittal for murder. Video: OJ Jury: We Didn't Need Witnesses to Convict AssociatedPress Ostler: With a prison term, maybe Simpson can find real killers San Francisco Chronicle The Associated Press - Los Angeles Times - United Press International - New York Times all 3,272 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 20:11:20 GMT Brooke Burke: Misty May Is ‘Out of’ DWTS - People Magazine United Press International Brooke Burke: Misty May Is ‘Out of’ DWTS People Magazine - 1 hour ago It looks like Dancing with the Stars will be down one competitor when it airs Monday night. Misty May-Treanor, 31, has injured herself and is out of the competition, her castmate Brooke Burke confirms. DWTS: Will Kim Replace Injured Misty? E! Online 'Dancing with the Stars' contestant injured The Associated Press United Press International - News10.net - Baltimore Sun - Reality TV Magazine all 179 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:35:17 GMT IBM's cloud initiative repackages its familiar offerings - InfoWorld eFluxMedia IBM's cloud initiative repackages its familiar offerings InfoWorld - 1 hour ago By Ephraim Schwartz Mixing together a mélange of services, software and marketing, IBM's announcement this week of its Cloud Services Initiative is about putting an organizing construct around all of its cloud offerings, according to one IBM executive. IBM Puts More Tools in the InternetNews.com IBM unveils cloud computing offerings TG Daily CNNMoney.com - eWeek - CRN - VNUNet.com all 52 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:22:31 GMT Hamsters, turtles and other exotic pets can pose danger to kids - New York Daily News AFP Hamsters, turtles and other exotic pets can pose danger to kids New York Daily News - 1 hour ago Think that furry little hamster spinning on its wheel in your child’s bedroom is just a cute benign pet? Non-traditional household pets, including hamsters, mice, turtles and monkeys actually pose a health risk to young children, according to a new ... 8 Pets That Pose Major Health Threats to Kids U.S. News & World Report Exotic Pets Pose Health Risk To Children NBC 10.com AFP - eFluxMedia - The Associated Press - Mom Logic all 380 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:20:52 GMT European Researchers Win Nobels for Medicine - Washington Post Washington Post European Researchers Win Nobels for Medicine Washington Post - 1 hour ago By Rob Stein Two French researchers were awarded a Nobel Prize today for discovering the AIDS virus, bypassing an American researcher who played a key role in the discovery. Nobel is postscript to bitter 1980s HIV dispute The Associated Press Three Europeans Win the 2008 Nobel for Medicine New York Times Los Angeles Times - MSNBC - Chemical & Engineering News - Daily Mail all 843 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:12:15 GMT Campaign Attacks Intensify in the Wake of New Ads - Washington Post BBC News Campaign Attacks Intensify in the Wake of New Ads Washington Post - 1 hour ago By William Branigin and Michael Abramowitz The campaign of Republican presidential candidate John McCain went after Barack Obama again today over his past association with a 1960s radical leader, and the Democratic contender struck back by highlighting ... Video: Palin Defends Terrorist Comment Against Obama AssociatedPress POLITICS-US: Asian Americans Tilt Heavily Toward Obama Inter Press Service The Weekly Standard - Christian Science Monitor - San Francisco Chronicle - The Associated Press all 4,086 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:46:43 GMT Postseason ace Beckett shelled as Angels win 5-4 - The Associated Press Washington Post Postseason ace Beckett shelled as Angels win 5-4 The Associated Press - 1 hour ago BOSTON (AP) - Josh Beckett waited four extra days for a chance to show his postseason brilliance. That shine wore off with his very first pitch. Video: Angels, White Sox Each Force a Game 4 AssociatedPress BoSox attempt to finish off Angels and advance to ALCS Sports Network Washington Post - Bleacher Report - FOXSports.com - MLB.com all 3,413 news articles Publ.Date : Mon, 06 Oct 2008 19:41:31 GMT RSS Feed Reader Increased Web Site Traffic

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Leaving The Child Behind. Recovery From Child Abuse

I looked at my father for the last time before... Read More

Crossing The Line Of Fear

Oh, this is a great topic! I remember when I... Read More

Stop Trying to be Perfect

In the moment of completing a thought or action, it... Read More

H-U-G-S -------The More You Give----The More You Get!

How many of us couldn't use a hug on a... Read More

The Art of Giving

In the pursuit of the life we dream of, this... Read More

Game-Set-Match

Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 21,... Read More

No More Frustration: The Thorns of Opportunity - Part II

The quest for the ultimate victory.In part one I shared... Read More

On Sunsets and Telecom

Another perfect sunset seen from Redondo Beach, California. Since arriving... Read More

A Rush Home to Rapture

Riding a rush, being juiced, flying high-this is the feeling... Read More

Words That Can Leave You Powerless

The lines below come from this weeks mind treatment, written... Read More

Lesson Learned

Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 9,... Read More

Inspiration, the Living Force

These moments of awareness are powerful motivators. They boost our... Read More

Life lessons - An Inpirational Story

Ju was physically abused as a child. She lived with... Read More

Are You The Master Of Your Destiny?

How strong are you? I'm not asking if you... Read More

The HUGE Deposit of Diamond in You

Something happened to me some years back that is worthy... Read More

Do You Feel Headed For Shipwreck?

The ocean liner Achille Lauro sailed perpetually under a dark... Read More

Create 10 Delightful Daily Habits

Practising extreme self-care in our life involves practising good "daily"... Read More

Accept Every Invitation

How often do you decline an invitation because you have... Read More

Getting Unstuck

According to the Buddhists, between January 29 and February 12... Read More

Anam Chara - Living A Life Of Value

Much of our lives we spend comparing what "me" has... Read More

Principles That Govern My Life

The strength and durability of a building is found in... Read More

Escape From the Dungeon: Jennifers Survival Story

Have you ever been encountered with a trauma in life... Read More

Personal Philosophy is Like The Set of The Sail

We have all experienced the blowing winds of disappointment, despair... Read More

Conspiracy of Silence

Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 12,... Read More

Lock In Your Legacy

You, my friend, are going to die.What? What kind of... Read More