A Global Empathy Deficit- 2 Lessons
"...We've got a budget deficit that's important, we've got a trade deficit that's critical, but what I worry most is our empathy deficit." ? Interview in O Magazine with Barack Obama.
Perhaps this is not only a US national concern but a global crisis: people are dividing into camps and fighting one another with no mention of sitting down to dialogue.
We, as global human beings living on a shrinking planet, have to stop the insanity, start talking, and stop the fighting.
The fighting is not only among warring nations. It goes on in corporations, small businesses, between entrepreneurs, in schools, in neighborhoods, and in families. There is a lack of talking, listening, and empathizing between people. This is especially true when they are different from us in some way.
We lose patience with others not like us or not of the same viewpoint. We stop listening. And consequently, we lose our ability to understand and find solutions.
We are missing opportunities for talking and dialoguing about what really matters. Dialoguing of course means listening and hearing what the other person is saying. It is not a monologue. It requires more than listening-it requires empathy.
Lesson # 1 in Empathy
Empathy has several ingredients. Most people understand empathy to be "walking in someone else's shoes." It is more than that. Information when communicated to us by another human being is processed through the limbic system in the brain, the center for emotions and memory.
The trick here is not to get lost in our own memories and emotions. This requires self-management so quick that it is out of our awareness. We sense that the reason we feel sad that our neighbor is telling us that their dog died is that we have also experienced loss and know what it must be like for them.
To summarize, lesson #1 of empathy has several parts:
Lesson #2 of Empathy
People usually have a tendency to jump in and want to do something to help too soon. They want to get out of their own discomfort by solving the problem. Often they don't take the time to really understand what the real problem is before offering solutions. This is how many people come across as NOT being empathetic, when they actually are. They respond too quickly with the wrong solutions.
So, the next important step after lesson #1 (feel the feelings and just listen), is to communicate back to the person that you are hearing them on a deep and personal level.
Simply state back to the person some of what you've heard, without interpretation or distortion. This communication requires a deep and honest caring about how other people feel, avoiding judgments and any attempts to minimize the importance of feelings or offering advice.
Like so much, empathy begins with developing ourselves individually, permeates our families and is taught to our children, and then must be communicated with the leaders we entrust to deal with other countries. A continued lack of empathy will result in global degradation.
© 2004 Patsi Krakoff, Psy. D.
Customized Newsletter Services
About The Author
This is a synopsis of a longer article available for your use with full reprint rights upon purchase. This synopsis is only available when you include the resource box:
Patsi Krakoff, Psy. D., CBC, is a psychologist, executive coach, and writer. She customizes newsletters for life and executive coaches, providing both content and PDF and HTML ezines for busy professionals. Patsi lives and works from Ajijic, Mexico where she plays tennis daily, and enjoys other creative activities with her husband Rob and two Maine Coon cats, Huey and Dewey. Email patsi@customizednewsletters.com.
For more articles, subscribe to Newsletter Nuggets and BizBook Nuggets, at http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/adtrack.asp?AdID=86914.
For more information visit http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/adtrack.asp?AdID=86911.
For notes, quotes & tips on writing coach ezines, visit Patsi's weblog: www.coachezines.com.
Secrets of Successful Ezines available for immediate download at www.customizednewsletters.com.
 Google News Updated : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 20:07:30 GMT Buckeyes survive Ohio's threat, 26-14 - The Associated Press
The Associated Press - COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - Beanie Wells didn't play. The Ohio Bobcats sure did. Lightly regarded even in the Mid-American Conference, Ohio put a scare into No. Ohio State Football: OSU 26, OU 14 Posted by ESPN.com's Adam Rittenberg Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:31:47 GMT 'Wrestler' brings Venice fest to its feet - Hollywood Reporter
Hollywood Reporter - By Eric J. Lyman VENICE -- "The Wrestler" was the toast of the Lido on the Venice Film Festival's penultimate day, with star Mickey Rourke's interpretation of an aging wrestler struggling to come to terms with the end of his career creating a buzz that ... 'The Wrestler' wins Venice Film Fest top award Mickey Rourke in The Wrestler. Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:14:35 GMT Journals week in review: news from One Microsoft Way - Ars Technica
Ars Technica - By Emil Protalinski | Published: September 06, 2008 - 01:15PM CT First Gates-Seinfeld ad leaves us scratching our heads. The first Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates ad has arrived. Seinfeld ads only part of Microsoft push Windows Vista: The OS About Nothing Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 18:27:03 GMT Obama, McCain to Honor Victims of 9/11 Together - Voice of America
Voice of America - By VOA News US presidential candidates Democrat Barack Obama and Republican John McCain have agreed to appear together on September 11, the seventh anniversary of the terrorist attacks in New York and Washington. Conventions, Anything but Dull, Are a TV Hit  Comment by John S. Baick Professor of History, Western New England CollegePubl.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:01:14 GMT Boeing Machinists Take To Picket Line After Talks Collapse - CNNMoney.com
CNNMoney.com - NEW YORK (AFP)-- Boeing machinists took to the picket line on Saturday as they launched a strike that has halted production and could cost the US aerospace giant more than $100 million per day. Low strike pay could limit length of Boeing work stoppage Boeing machinists walk off the job Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 18:46:08 GMT McCain, Obama battle over economy, leadership - AFP
AFP - COLORADO SPRINGS, Colorado (AFP) - Economic issues dominated the campaign trail Saturday as presidential hopefuls Barack Obama and John McCain battled over who could best lead the nation in troubled times. Reuters Politics Summary Barack Obama, John McCain say they hate meddlers ... but both ... Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 19:15:37 GMT "Bangkok" a skillful action excursion - Reuters
Reuters - By Stephen Farber LOS ANGELES (Hollywood Reporter) - Everything is relative in the realm of hyperviolent movies, and compared to this summer's other assassination thriller, "Wanted," "Bangkok Dangerous" is a model of restraint and moral rectitude. 'Dangerous' prosperous at box office An Assassin Arrives to Turn Off the Lights Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 04:41:52 GMT Increased Web Site Traffic |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... One man can make a difference. I've been saying this... Read More There are discoveries all around us—small gifts of joy that... Read More Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 7,... Read More Encouragement can have a very powerful effect on bosses and... Read More Most people give up just when they're about to achieve... Read More Most people like movies. Some, like me, are enthralled by... Read More We all accept the fact that the lighter the backpack,... Read More My perception is that universe infinitely blesses us every moment.... Read More "Why go and reinvent the wheel?" It's a question that's... Read More Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 3,... Read More Laws of the Attraction notwithstanding, there are several external ways... Read More There are many ways we can increase our own personal... Read More There is one thing you want...My guess is you want... Read More Ask any of my kids and they'll tell you immediately... Read More Emotions are the most powerful forces inside us. Under the... Read More "We come equipped with everything we need to experience a... Read More At seventeen years old, I was a brat. A mixture... Read More I'm often asked the question, "How can I best help... Read More We have just inherited a rag, tag and bobtail of... Read More "I would like to pray more. But ... how to... Read More Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 19,... Read More My best friend, Ryan, told me last night he got... Read More Water is the source of life, yet so few of... Read More Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 8,... Read More So often we stop and look at our lives and... Read More
Adsense
websites
Inspired For Women
Lifetime of Discoveries: Moments of Peace and Renewal
A Bad Move
Encouragement--Heart At Work
Quitting Before It Even Starts
Imaginings
Supercharge Your Dreams!
Blessings and Art of Living
Why Not Reinvent The Wheel?
A New Strategy
7 Strategies To Make Room For Money
Increase Awareness With One Simple Question
The One Thing You Really Want
Where You Can Find Sympathy
The Four Emotions that Can Lead to Life Change
Humble Riches
The Shoemaker and the Brat
The Best Gift to Give Yourself and Others
What Footsie Taught Us!
How Four Words Can Enhance Your Life Of Prayer (Pray More In My Hectic Day? You Cant Be Serious)
For Old Times Sake
In Tall Grass
How to Pray on Water! Announcing Life-Changing Bible Code - Discover Amazing Water Scriptures!
Repeat Offender
Taking the Leap of Faith
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
Revenge in the End is Bitter Sweet
We ALL think or have thought about it at one... Read More
The Seasons of Life, Part 1 of 5
Life is about constant, predictable patterns of change. For the... Read More
What an Artist Experiences When Working With the Angels
I am an Angel artist on a passionate spiritual journey... Read More
Change Begins With Choice
Any day we wish we can discipline ourselves to change... Read More
Trust Yourself ? The Hero?s Way!
Buying a VCR may not seem like a noteworthy purchase... Read More
What Footsie Taught Us!
We have just inherited a rag, tag and bobtail of... Read More
Addicted To Her
Direct Answers - Column for the week of August 4,... Read More
Innocent Fun
Just the other day, I escaped the business of my... Read More
Showing Your Appreciation - How To Make Others Feel Special
"There are fine things which you mean to do someday,... Read More
Using Appreciation to Make a Difference
When in 1996 a local Secondary School opened, the staff... Read More
The Dot
We have all grown up in an age where exploration... Read More
Choicemaking: Self-Help Secrets Revealed
We all assume that making choices is a simple process.... Read More
The Power of Notes
Notes are very powerful. They express your thanks, encouragement, sympathy,... Read More
The Beauty of Life
"An unexamined life is not worth living."-- SocratesI have just... Read More
Ask the Angels - Get Specific !
There are Angels for everything and they are just waiting... Read More
Inspiration From Other People - Is It Worth Listening To A Film Star?
Yesterday, I listened to an interview with Michael York, the... Read More
Wanna Trade Places?
Even immediately after my car accident, every single person who... Read More
How Do You Do That? Demystifying People With Disabilities
IntroductionNearly all employers and human resource professionals are aware of... Read More
The Minds Fancy Dress Party -Or- A Brainstorming Session
In Berlin a restaurant opens for anorexics and in Buffalo... Read More
Begin With the End In Mind - Tips to Make Your Life More Meaningful
What would you change if you knew you would be... Read More
One Night Stand
Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 24,... Read More
The Finer, and Finest, Things in Life
In America, we have a saying: The finer things in... Read More
Looking for a Better World - What Every Person Can Do!
Each night, when I put my head on the pillow... Read More
Dont Die With Your Dreams Still Inside You
I write and talk a lot about dreams. Primarily because... Read More
Go Ahead... Journal! (Taking Time To Record My Souls Journey With God)
Imagine sitting down in a relaxed setting -- a setting... Read More
Inspirational |