Slip-sliding On A Peel

Every day, or at least every other day, we make a fruit smoothie at mid morning. Almost without fail, these smoothies contain bananas; so, we go through about 10 or 12 bananas a week. Depending on my mood or the availability, these smoothies may also contain mango, papaya, pineapple, coconut or whatever other fresh fruit comes our way plus ice, water and the blender. Maybe also yoghurt or wheat germ.

However, banana is the usual and requisite smoothie base.

One day, after being out of bananas for an unreasonable amount of time (say 2 or 3 days), I journeyed to town for the morning farmer's market. I went to my regular produce lady, Latina.

"Morning darling," she greeted me as usual, "How's your woman?"

"Almost as sweet and beautiful as you," I reply, earning a kiss and a smile.

I picked out the various fruits and veggies that either caught my attention or she told me to buy. ("She'd be buying this if she were here, ya know")

"Bananas?" I ask. "Nope. No bananas," she deadpans.

"Who has bananas then?" I ask, hoping that she will point me to her favorite competitor.

"No bananas anywhere." She is adamant. "None?" I am incredulous, "They are the main crop of this island. How can there be no bananas? There are always bananas."

"T'ain't none nowhere now," she affirms.

"Are you trying to tell me there are no bananas on an island that survives on its banana exports?"

"Yes, we have no bananas," she says with a wicked smile.

'Harry, please save me', I think; 'this cannot be true; a mellow yellow flashback?'

'Come Mr. Tally man, tally me bananas; me tired and me want to go home' he echoes, answering from almost 40 years ago. I go home, sans banana, stunned, dazed and confused.

Two days later, a neighbor shows up with 200 bananas. "I hear you want some," he says.

A few days later, we are having two smoothies a day and giving away banana bread to all our neighbors; a million fruit flies hover in my kitchen and, in my dreams, there is this recurring vision of Carmen Miranda. I am a cultural refugee, caught in a forgotten Calypso tape loop or a cosmic slapstick joke.

© Leslie Fieger. All rights reserved worldwide.

Leslie is the author of The DELFIN Knowledge System Trilogy: The Initiation, The Journey and The Quest plus many more success publications. He also the co-author of The End of the World with Hugh Jeffries and Alexandra's DragonFire with his daughter Ashley. Subscribe to his free and ad-free eZine at http://www.ProsperityParadigm.com or http://www.LeslieFieger.com

Reprinting and republishing of these articles is granted only with the above credit included. Permission to reprint or republish does not waive any copyright.

---

Google News Updated : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:51:44 GMT Favre's heir? With backing from mates, Rodgers waits patiently - USA Today Bleacher Report Favre's heir? With backing from mates, Rodgers waits patiently USA Today - 4 hours ago By Matt Ludtke, AP By Larry Weisman, USA TODAY He no longer sounds like a retired player after seemingly passing on the opportunity to lead a talent-laden Packers squad. Video: The Rift Between Favre and the Packers AssociatedPress Finding new home for Brett Favre won't be easy Chicago Tribune Minneapolis Star Tribune - Kansas City Star - The Canadian Press - Tampa Tribune all 512 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 02:06:18 GMT Karadzic lived the good life with wine, song - Reuters ABC News Karadzic lived the good life with wine, song Reuters - 2 hours ago By Ivana Sekularac BELGRADE (Reuters) - Radovan Karadzic lived the good life while hiding from justice for 11 years: he watched his diet, fell in love and hung out in a small bar where hardliners gathered to sing about his wartime exploits. Video: Karadzic's arrest sparks clashes - 23 Jul 08 AlJazeeraEnglish Karadzic's secret life enthralls his fellow Serbs The Associated Press Reuters UK - euronews - New York Times - Voice of America all 5,771 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 04:05:33 GMT Christian Bale's lady sidekick: Sibi Bale - Los Angeles Times ABC News Christian Bale's lady sidekick: Sibi Bale Los Angeles Times - 4 hours ago Like the Dark Knight/Bruce Wayne, Christian Bale is a real-life man of mystery. Averse to personal publicity, he is well-known for not wanting to discuss his private life. Christian Bale, Wife "Solid" at Knight's Spain Premiere E! Online Bale's family feud led to scuffle The Star-Ledger - NJ.com People Magazine - New York Daily News - Boston Herald - Variety all 2,386 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 02:10:31 GMT Billionaires Back Antismoking Effort - New York Times Boston Globe Billionaires Back Antismoking Effort New York Times - 27 minutes ago Bill Gates and New York Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg announced their antismoking initiative on Wednesday in New York. By DONALD G. MCNEIL JR Bill Gates and Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg announced on Wednesday that they would spend $500 million to stop ... Video: Gates, Bloomberg Pool Riches to Fight Smoking AssociatedPress The $500 million war on smoking Minneapolis Star Tribune BusinessWeek - eFluxMedia - Bizjournals.com - FOXBusiness all 471 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:23:48 GMT Discovery may boost statin safety - BBC News InjuryBoard.com Discovery may boost statin safety BBC News - 7 hours ago Scientists have pinpointed a gene mutation as a major cause of a rare side effect of the cholesterol-lowering drugs statins. They hope the discovery could lead to a simple test to identify patients at increased risk of myopathy - severe muscle pain and ... Gene May Predict Cholesterol-Lowering Drug Risk, Study Says Bloomberg Genetic Cause of Statin-Related Muscle Pain Found Washington Post U.S. News & World Report - Reuters - The Associated Press - The Star-Ledger - NJ.com all 172 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 23 Jul 2008 23:14:24 GMT Rapper 50 Cent sues Taco Bell over ad - New York Daily News ABC News Rapper 50 Cent sues Taco Bell over ad New York Daily News - 36 minutes ago BY THOMAS ZAMBITO The rapper - real name Curtis Jackson - is suing the fast-food chain for using his hip-hop persona to tout its tacos. 50 Cent sues Taco Bell over ad campaign The Associated Press Rapper 50 Cent says Taco Bell stole his endorsement Reuters E! Online - MTV.com - CNNMoney.com - KWCH all 187 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:15:09 GMT Zimbabwe Parties May Sign Unity Deal Soon, Business Day Reports - Bloomberg ABC News Zimbabwe Parties May Sign Unity Deal Soon, Business Day Reports Bloomberg - 28 minutes ago By Carli Lourens July 24 (Bloomberg) -- Zimbabwe's ruling and opposition parties may sign a power-sharing agreement soon as they have already agreed on a wide range of issues, Business Day reported, citing people it didn't identify. Fearsome Zimbabwe militias are afraid Los Angeles Times Delayed Zimbabwe Power-Sharing Talks Seen Beginning Thursday Voice of America BBC News - guardian.co.uk - AFP all 3,609 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:23:06 GMT Earn Money With Surveys Rss Feed Reader

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

The Top 10 All Time Worst Jokes About Piano Players

Here, for your barfing pleasure, are the top ten worst... Read More

Beyond Black and White

Over visiting a neighbor the other day?"Would you like a... Read More

Military Wives

I... Read More

Stopping Bad Breath Bart

"Pee-ew! You smell like a skunk soaking in sardine nectar... Read More

Maybelle Misfire Joins Mega Corp

To: Maybelle Misfire From: I. M.. Power, VP Welcome aboard!... Read More

How To Get Attention, or: As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!

We all want attention. As children we crave the attention... Read More

Coffee Tips (and the Elimination Thereof)

I have recently become frustrated with something at doughnut establishments,... Read More

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy

How To Marry A Wealthy Guy(or Girl... Or at least... Read More

Internet is My True Agent

You know the type -- that doodling type. Every time... Read More

Mexican Spaminator

When we decided to move to Mexico, one of the... Read More

If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)

Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank... the... Read More

Poor Rixs Almanac 8-27-05

Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food?... Read More

He Had It Coming, Your Honor

This past week as Mr. Man and I lounged around... Read More

Freudian Slippage

Saturday morning. I went, in the early morning, to the... Read More

How to Build a Cobblestone House

He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house... Read More

Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward

Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never... Read More

A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer JokesQ: How does a pregnant woman know she is... Read More

Humor Under The Keyboards

For me, the piano is the symbol of what is... Read More

11 Alternative Garden Games

Tired of the same ol', same ol' when it come... Read More

Short Story: Take a Trip To The Temple Of The Great Tomato

Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer.... Read More

A Dogs Guide To... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking

I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark... Read More

Essential Laughter

Take time to laugh at yourself and the ridiculous in... Read More

[Not So] Outgoing Mail

I am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail.... Read More

25 Reasons You Might Need to Wear a Welding Helmet

A welding helmet is a safety device worn for protection... Read More

When Humans and Dogs Collide: Negotiations for Todays Changing Times

This morning I decided to find myself. I originally looked... Read More