Poor Rixs Almanac 8-27-05

Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food? ? Former Student

Poor Rix ate lunch at a school last week, and really liked it. Who knew they could make a dessert out of corn chips?

Fact is, Poor Rix enjoyed everything about school, except for the "study" part. Lunch period was best the part of all.

One day I saw a dish labeled "Tuna Surprise." "Why do you call it that?" I asked.

"Because," said the cook, "we started out with a catfish. So if it tastes like a tuna, we'll be surprised."

Yeah, lunch was a scream back then. One time my friend Carl found two well-seasoned cockroaches in his green beans, and asked who'd be willing to eat them.

"I will," said Dave, who was once elected class president by promising "no homework anymore." But he didn't clear this with the teachers, so we immediately impeached him.

Anyway, Dave downed both roaches, and bragged they tasted better than the beans. But he didn't come to class the next day.

Another time we took a field trip to a neighboring school. At lunch, Carl chose the "mystery meat."

"Outstanding," he raved. "What is it?"

"Here's a clue," said our host. "Why do you think our team's called the Buzzards?"

Poor Rix offers bad advice to good questions. E-mail him at rixquinn@charter.net

Rix's book "Words That Stick" is available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN /1580085768/qid/

In The News:


Google News
Updated : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 06:54:27 GMT

Calm in Mongolia as emergency rule nears end - Reuters


Wall Street Journal
Calm in Mongolia as emergency rule nears end
Reuters - 2 hours ago
ULAN BATOR (Reuters) - Troops began pulling back from the streets of the Mongolian capital on Saturday ahead of the lifting of a state of emergency that had been declared after rioting over alleged election fraud.
Mongolia prepares to lift state of emergency AFP
Curfew in downtown Ulan Bator lifted Xinhua
Wall Street Journal - International Herald Tribune - Radio Australia - Reuters India
all 1,406 news articles

Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 04:01:57 GMT

Goleta fire doubles in size overnight - Los Angeles Times


The Age
Goleta fire doubles in size overnight
Los Angeles Times - 15 hours ago
The blaze near the Santa Barbara city has grown to 5400 acres and triggers more evacuations. No homes have been destroyed. The local fireworks show is canceled and face masks are being distributed to BIG SUR -- The fires that bedevil California took ...
Video: Wind Keeps California Wildfires Raging AssociatedPress
Firefighters hold line on two California wildfires Reuters
New York Times - FOXNews - CNN International - KSWT-TV
all 798 news articles

Publ.Date : Fri, 04 Jul 2008 15:36:05 GMT

Americans celebrate Independence Day with fireworks, patriotism ... - ABC News


New York Daily News
Americans celebrate Independence Day with fireworks, patriotism ...
ABC News - 1 hour ago
By COLLEEN LONG AP Writer AP Fireworks explode over the Manhattan skyline during the 32nd annual Macy's Fourth of July fireworks... The nation's largest fireworks display exploded in a spectrum of color over the East River, temporarily stealing the ...
US marks Independence Day with fireworks, revelry The Associated Press
US marks Independence Day with fireworks, revelry China Daily
The Associated Press
all 274 news articles

Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 05:20:07 GMT

Mamma Mia! Torres thrills crowd at trials - Sports Network


Washington Post
Mamma Mia! Torres thrills crowd at trials
Sports Network - 2 hours ago
by Eric Gold, Olympic Editor Omaha, NE (Sports Network) - Dara Torres held her two-year-old daughter Tessa while receiving a medal for finishing first in the 100-meter freestyle, something that was totally unexpected, but nevertheless a charming moment ...
Torres, Phelps steal show at swim trials Seattle Post Intelligencer
On Her Way to Another Games New York Times
San Francisco Chronicle - SI.com - Fort Worth Star Telegram - Washington Post
all 379 news articles

Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 04:48:43 GMT

Study suggests serotonin plays a role in SIDS - Los Angeles Times


dBTechno
Study suggests serotonin plays a role in SIDS
Los Angeles Times - 6 hours ago
Mice who overproduced the brain chemical showed symptoms similar to those of the infant syndrome before they died. By Wendy Hansen, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer Mice genetically engineered to overproduce the brain chemical serotonin died at an early ...
Brain imbalance 'cot death key' BBC News
SIDS Linked to Brain Chemical Dysfunction Washington Post
Reuters - WebMD - The Associated Press - Bloomberg
all 250 news articles

Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:46:43 GMT

Consortium Rescues Bell Canada Takeover - New York Times


Boston Globe
Consortium Rescues Bell Canada Takeover
New York Times - 5 hours ago
By IAN AUSTEN OTTAWA - A private equity and pension fund consortium said it salvaged a record $52 billion deal for Bell Canada on Friday by postponing its closing date until mid-December and renegotiating some terms of the transaction - including ...
BCE, Ontario Teachers' Reach Final Agreement on Sale (Update5) Bloomberg
BCE Finalizes Tumultuous Takeover Forbes
Wall Street Journal - TheStreet.com - The Associated Press - FOXBusiness
all 297 news articles

Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 00:56:07 GMT

EU to consider Zimbabwe sanctions - PRESS TV


PRESS TV
EU to consider Zimbabwe sanctions
PRESS TV - 1 hour ago
German Chancellor Angela Merkel has said the European Union would consider 'all possible sanctions' against the Zimbabwean government.
African Union Weakened by Summit Inaction on Zimbabwe Voice of America
Q&A: Zimbabwe's disputed election guardian.co.uk
Financial Times - The Associated Press - Reuters - AllAfrica.com
all 6,000 news articles

Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 05:14:17 GMT

Make Money Online
RSS Parser


PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Military Wives

I... Read More

Poor Rixs Almanac 8-13-05

Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a... Read More

If, An Online Marketers Internet Addiction Poem, Can You Relate to This?

IF, An Online Internet Marketing PoemIf before you have turned... Read More

Sweet Vengeance Purrfected

I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just... Read More

Humor Quotations - Top 35 Funny Quotations by Famous Comedians

"Education is worth a whole lot. Just think - with... Read More

I Got to Play an April Fools Joke Before I was Born

I will start this by saying that yes, I did... Read More

He Had It Coming, Your Honor

This past week as Mr. Man and I lounged around... Read More

Very Precise Fortune Cookies

I cracked open the fortune cookie and read the little... Read More

Pee Here Now

Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my... Read More

Starbucks Going into Hilton

Well, I hope you did not read that headline wrong,... Read More

The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1

Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go... Read More

The Spare Parts Gremlins

Don't you just love getting a little something extra? Sure... Read More

Cloning Advantage Super Families

As the cloning debate of humankind continues we find ourselves... Read More

A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes

Lawyer JokesQ: How does a pregnant woman know she is... Read More

The Work-from-home Fashion Primer

Last week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online... Read More

Marines Dont Take Crap

We... Read More

Funny Things We Dream

I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready... Read More

Tales of a Spectator Spectator

Watching the fans at a minor-league baseball game is just... Read More

A Dogs Guide To... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking

I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark... Read More

Silver Linings Are Everywhere

Viagra. That one word packs a lot of punch. Let's... Read More

[Not So] Outgoing Mail

I am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail.... Read More

Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems

In Southern Germany in a town by the name of... Read More

Cant Get There From Here

... Read More

The Patience of Job

Voltaire said, "God is a comedian playing to an... Read More

The Army Corp of Engineers Having Issues Fixing Breach

The Army Corp of engineers is having a tough time... Read More