Got Originality?
There are many ways to be original these days. But unfortunately I cannot reveal any of these ways because the followers would then not be original, would they? Now, I realize that somewhere between one to two people would have followed the advice I gave, but just in case my calculations were off - and it turns out three would have followed - I need to be careful about what I write ?
One slogan which completely frustrates me due to its lack of originality is "got ____?" That's right - that lowercase phrase which was formerly synonymous with milk (and is now synonymous with everything) is so cliché that it's even cliché to write "got cliché?" But the worst is not behind us. The other day I saw a sign for an ATM machine that asked the question, "got cash?" This makes me wonder how far the slogan will extend before it finally fades. Here are five signs which I hope we never see, for any of them could mean the end of the world as we know it. And if it's the end of the world, how will we ever be able to celebrate the end of that slogan?
5. got goats? - I am not sure why this one would scare me. I guess it's something about selling goats to the mainstream that throws me off, or maybe I am afraid that too many far-sighted people will think it's an advertisement for coats. Either way, goats don't need to be a part of such a cliched scheme in order to be sold. That would be very baaaad. At least that's what a sheep told me.
4. got gas? - Just imagine the confusion. Those who need fuel in their cars would stop in order to fill their tanks. But what about those who just came back from the local Taco Bell? They don't need to be at a station where they can get gas. Rather, they need to be at a place where? Well, you get the picture.
3. got snot? - We don't need to be selling snot, let alone buying it. But if we are ever at a point where snot is something in which people become interested, let's not hold down the sales by asking people if they have it, because ultimately everybody does.
2. got my mother? - No..
1. got death? - If cemeteries start using this slogan, then we know the world has become too commercialized. Not only is it a morbid statement, but those who can answer in the affirmative will not even be given the opportunity to do so.
But I digress.
Greg Gagliardi is a teacher and writer. His stream-of-consciousness weekly humor column, "Progressive Revelations," has been ongoing since 1998. (http://www.ProgressiveRevelations.com)
 Google News Updated : Wed, 09 Jul 2008 01:08:02 GMT Church divided: Women bishops an obstacle to unity, Vatican warns - guardian.co.uk
guardian.co.uk - The Vatican yesterday criticised the Church of England's decision to press ahead with the ordination of women bishops, saying it presented a "further obstacle" for reconciliation between Canterbury and Rome. Vatican 'regrets' female bishops Vatican angry over women bishops Publ.Date : Tue, 08 Jul 2008 23:02:59 GMT Bush pushes US-India nuclear deal - The Associated Press
The Associated Press - TOYAKO, Japan (AP) - President Bush defended a languishing deal his administration negotiated to sell India nuclear fuel and technology, saying he reassured India's prime minister that the pact was important for both countries despite heavy opposition ... India Singh to Seek Vote Before IAEA Approval on Nuclear Accord UPDATE 1-India says relations with US in good shape Publ.Date : Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:20:36 GMT InBev seeks summary judgment in court - Reuters
Reuters - PHILADELPHIA (Reuters) - InBev NV (INTB.BR: Quote, Profile, Research, Stock Buzz) on Tuesday asked a court to make a summary judgment on its lawsuit over the possible removal of all 13 directors of Anheuser-Busch Cos Inc's (BUD. Anheuser-Busch sues InBev Busch sues InBev over takeover attempt Publ.Date : Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:34:28 GMT War Powers Act needs fixing, bipartisan panel says - CNN
CNN - WASHINGTON (CNN) -- The United States needs a new law requiring that the president consult with Congress before going to war, a blue-ribbon panel led by two former secretaries of state said Tuesday. Video: Panel Calls for New War Powers Legislation 'War Powers' Plan Faces Steep Odds Publ.Date : Tue, 08 Jul 2008 19:10:08 GMT Fed may extend Wall Street lending - Reuters
Reuters - By Patrick Rucker ARLINGTON, Virginia (Reuters) - Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke said on Tuesday the US central bank may keep an emergency lending facility for big Wall Street firms open longer than it initially intended, a signal the Fed is ... Bernanke says Fed may extend bank discount rate Bernanke Says Fed May Continue Lending Into Next Year (Update3) Publ.Date : Tue, 08 Jul 2008 22:34:02 GMT Cipro joins the 'black box' club - Los Angeles Times
Los Angeles Times - The club may not be as elite as it once was -- or perhaps, in an ideal world, should be -- but the Food and Drug Administration has decided Cipro and its ilk deserve to be members. UPDATE 3-Antibiotics can harm tendons, US FDA warns FDA orders 'black box' label on some antibiotics Publ.Date : Tue, 08 Jul 2008 23:12:01 GMT Alcoa beats the Street - CNNMoney.com
CNNMoney.com - The aluminum producer and Dow component kicks off the latest round of earnings reports by saying that higher volume and prices offset rising commodity costs. UPDATE 3-Alcoa's profit lower but tops Street forecasts Alcoa's Second-Quarter Net Fell 24% Publ.Date : Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:18:45 GMT Web Site Traffic |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just... Read More With her Jamaican accent Miss Cleo, a self proclaimed psychic... Read More I... Read More I was given a list of Do's and Don'ts of... Read More We all want attention. As children we crave the attention... Read More One of the best parts of a vacation is the... Read More Dear Poor Rix: A guy just invited me to a... Read More Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my... Read More Voltaire said, "God is a comedian playing to an... Read More I like to bark. I mean, I like to bark... Read More Every day, or at least every other day, we make... Read More Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food?... Read More It was late in 1775, and King George III was... Read More IF, An Online Internet Marketing PoemIf before you have turned... Read More My next-door neighbors found a human bone in their backyard.... Read More I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I... Read More Today while driving I saw a young girl, probably around... Read More In Southern Germany in a town by the name of... Read More There are many ways to be original these days. But... Read More For me, the piano is the symbol of what is... Read More Lawyer JokesQ: How does a pregnant woman know she is... Read More I am currently perplexed by the concept of outgoing mail.... Read More Let me start by saying that 'I am an American'... Read More Saturday morning. I went, in the early morning, to the... Read More A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.B... Read More
Adsense
websites
Sweet Vengeance Purrfected
Miss Cleo Was a Fake... NO - Really? YES Maaan!
Military Wives
Important Safety Tip$
How To Get Attention, or: As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!
How I Spent my Summer Vacation
Poor Rixs Almanac 8-13-05
Pee Here Now
The Patience of Job
A Dogs Guide To... Getting Your Dog to Stop Barking
Slip-sliding On A Peel
Poor Rixs Almanac 8-27-05
American Independence ? The True Story
If, An Online Marketers Internet Addiction Poem, Can You Relate to This?
Fried Green Tomatoes Recipe
Dumb Luck
Sell [Your] Phones
Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems
Got Originality?
Humor Under The Keyboards
A Lawyers Favorite Lawyer Jokes
[Not So] Outgoing Mail
Do Americans Really Understand Irony?
Freudian Slippage
Computers According to Carol
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
The Zapp Principle
My dad's lab was a mess, but then it was... Read More
The Worlds First Comedian?
If you ever saw Aristophanes live on stage, you must... Read More
How to Build a Cobblestone House
He huffed and he puffed and he blew the house... Read More
The Restaurant Chronicles, Part 1
Have you ever heard that saying, "The show must go... Read More
Fried Green Tomatoes Recipe
My next-door neighbors found a human bone in their backyard.... Read More
Lactose Intolerant? It could be a good thing
Lactose Intolerant Individuals may prove a bonus in Space Missions.... Read More
Miss Cleo Was a Fake... NO - Really? YES Maaan!
With her Jamaican accent Miss Cleo, a self proclaimed psychic... Read More
Do Americans Really Understand Irony?
Let me start by saying that 'I am an American'... Read More
Painful Lessons from the Maternity Ward
Whoever dubbed New York, New York "the city that never... Read More
Dumb Luck
I've never really thought of myself as being funny. I... Read More
Nine Movies That Make You Want To Yell, Stop Saying That
Movie moments are nice things to share with the people... Read More
The Work-from-home Fashion Primer
Last week, I reported how writers, stay-at-home parents and online... Read More
And the World Goes Round
If you are a citizen of UK or Australia, you... Read More
Setting History Straight
Have you ever heard the name Will Schwenk? Or the... Read More
Got Originality?
There are many ways to be original these days. But... Read More
Poor Rixs Almanac 8-27-05
Hey, Poor Rix: What do you think about school food?... Read More
The Jokes On You -- Who Should be the Butt of Your Jokes?
This article was prompted by something I heard (second hand)... Read More
Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems
In Southern Germany in a town by the name of... Read More
Psychiatric Psychiatrist - A Joke on Psychiatry
A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We... Read More
Pee Here Now
Several years ago, I switched health insurance companies and my... Read More
Freudian Slippage
Saturday morning. I went, in the early morning, to the... Read More
Short Story: Take a Trip To The Temple Of The Great Tomato
Jimmy Jenkins Jr. is not an adventurer, traveler, or pioneer.... Read More
If Real People Ran the Bank - I (a spoof for the heart)
Banish Loans ForeverIf ordinary, hard-working, people ran the bank... the... Read More
Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking
Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted... Read More
When Humans and Dogs Collide: Negotiations for Todays Changing Times
This morning I decided to find myself. I originally looked... Read More
Humor & Entertainment |