Mexican Living: Somethings Got to be Done!
Mexico needs to do something about the behavior of Gringos who come to their country who are hell-bent on acting out the Ugly American Syndrome stereotype no matter what.
I concluded this after an early morning shopping trip with the wife to the local Supermarket. There I saw this 70-year-old hippie, with his gun moll, cussing up one aisle and down the other looking for liquor. Doesn't that just figure? He ended his search with a screeching revelation,
"They don't even have beer here for Christ's sake!"
Why do Americans always want to attribute something mundane and worldly to Christ and for His sake? I mean, really, is it for Christ's sake that this early morning lush was searching so diligently for some booze? Anyway.
So, off he marched after screaming loudly enough to wake the dead.
I have some ideas that Mexico could do to stem the ever-increasing tide of displays of the Ugly American Syndrome:
First off, Mexico could pass a stupid tax. Americans who insist on acting like horses' butts in Mexico would be charged $50,000 pesos for each incident. I think this is a grand idea for Americans acting stupid in America too! What do you think of that? This money could be used to improve the infrastructure of the Colonial towns (like where we live!). But, after the tenth commission of a stupid act (which will take about 2 days), Americans would be deported immediately and without recourse.
Second, Mexico could enact a drunken bum or boozehound tax. There would be an allowance of three times you could appear in public WITHOUT falling down before you they would start taxing you. This would be particularly profitable in Puerto Vallarta where American drink to excess day and night.
We were in a little place in Puerto Vallarta once for breakfast when this couple came in and had three rounds of beer before their scrambled eggs and hotcakes came. We were told (because we asked the manager) that this goes on all the time. Americans are constantly drunker than skunks and are falling down all the time.
We saw more 75-year-old plus men stumbling around town like drunken sailors trying to pick up young coeds. Mexico could make a killing in Puerto Vallarta and no doubt the other resort towns as well.
The highest tax would be for each incident of The Ugly American Syndrome. This means that, each time you do the following, the Mexican government will charge you a tax of $150,000 pesos:
1. Insisting on paying for something with dollars because you are too lazy (or stupid) to get them changed into pesos. This would really be a moneymaker for the Mexicans since Americans do this routinely.
2. Telling the waiter who brought you EXACTLY what you ordered that you wanted a REAL taco.
3. Shouting English at a Mexican vendor or salesclerk as though will miraculously change them into a bilingual person.
4. Cutting your finger and toenails while in public. (This not only will get you taxed but a good slapping as well.)
5. Loudness or obnoxious behavior that is so typical of Americans when they come to another country. For example, statements like,
"Gee are all Mexican women this fat?"
"It sure is filthy here."
"Don't they serve real beer?"
"These Mexican houses don't suit our American tastes."
"Don't you know how corrupt your government is?"
And so on!
There is more, much more, and the Mexican government would have to publish a handbook with hundreds of examples of the Ugly American Syndrome to be fair to the visiting or expatriating American. Perhaps they could use Rick Steves' Europe Archives: Ugly American Sightings as a template for their handbook for Ugly Americans!
Check it out at: http://www.ricksteves.com/graffiti/arch ives/ugly.html
Doug Bower is a freelance writer and book author. His most recent writing credits include The Atlanta Journal-Constitution, The Houston Chronicle, and The Philadelphia Inquirer, and Transitions Abroad. He lives with his wife in Guanajuato, Mexico. His new book, Mexican Living: Blogging it from a Third World Country, can be seen at http://www.lulu.com/content/126241
 Google News Updated : Thu, 20 Nov 2008 07:33:37 GMT Roger Goodell reinstates Adam ’Pacman’ Jones - Boston Herald
Boston Herald - By Herald wire services Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones said yesterday the suspended cornerback has been reinstated by league commissioner Roger Goodell, but he must miss two more games, this Sunday and the following game on Thanksgiving. Pacman, Terence Newman help renew Dallas Cowboys’ secondary plan Pacman reinstated, but can't return until Dec. 7 Publ.Date : Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:00:53 GMT Ariz. Governor Said to Be Pick For Homeland Security Post - Washington Post
Washington Post - By Spencer S. Hsu Arizona Gov. Janet Napolitano (D), a border-state governor whose handling of immigration and homeland security issues brought her accolades from fellow governors, is President-elect Barack Obama's choice to serve as secretary of ... Napolitano may be Homeland Security pick Obama taps Arizona Gov for homeland security - CNN Publ.Date : Thu, 20 Nov 2008 05:43:07 GMT GIANT DISCOVERY: PSU researchers map woolly mammoth's DNA - Centre Daily Times
Centre Daily Times - By Anne Danahy Scientists at Penn State have become the first to sequence the genome of an extinct species, using hair from the woolly mammoth to create a map of the long-dead animals’ DNA. Woolly Mammoth Genome Sequenced Scientists Reconstruct Most of Woolly Mammoth Genome Publ.Date : Thu, 20 Nov 2008 07:03:05 GMT It's splitsville for Paris Hilton and Benji Madden - New York Daily News
New York Daily News - BY OLGA BOYKO Paris Hilton and her boyfriend of nine months, Benji Madden, just couldn't hack it together. You better hide your boyfriends, ladies, because Paris Hilton is single again. Paris Hilton splits with Benji Madden Paris Hilton and Benji Madden Split Up Publ.Date : Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:35:33 GMT Solomon: Rockets loss to Mavs bound to repeat - Houston Chronicle
Houston Chronicle - By JEROME SOLOMON Copyright 2008 Houston Chronicle Sorry, your version of Flash doesn't support this video. Please download the latest version at adobe. Rockets' Yao Sits Out With Sore Foot Road to victory: Dallas Mavericks top Rockets, 96-86 Publ.Date : Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:05:27 GMT Global stocks hit 5-1/2 year lows - Reuters
Reuters - By Rafael Nam HONG KONG (Reuters) - A rout in Asia pushed world stocks to their lowest in 5- years on Thursday, while oil fell to below $53 a barrel and safe havens such as the yen gained as economic data indicated a global recession could get even ... Asia markets follow US share drop Asian markets extend world rout on recession fears Publ.Date : Thu, 20 Nov 2008 05:59:08 GMT The BlackBerry Storm: Your Top 20 Questions, Answered - PC Magazine
PC Magazine - by Sascha Segan I re-ordered the questions by theme, and eliminated a few duplicates and a few that I still can't answer. (Battery life tests can take days. The Storm vs. the iPhone BlackBerry's Storm: Awkward and Disappointing Publ.Date : Thu, 20 Nov 2008 06:48:37 GMT Amazon Tool |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... The true meaning of Saturn is that he is the... Read More But people are starting to take a new look at... Read More Celebrity stalking has become the way for the socially inept... Read More My artistic endeavor have led me towards a personal sense... Read More Fancy dress parties have been around since for centuries and... Read More Egypt has long been the source of countless conspiracies, ranging... Read More Mexico needs to do something about the behavior of Gringos... Read More When humans set off to address fundamental issues about what... Read More Martius, the month of March, is named after him. So... Read More There is an old adage that says work isn't really... Read More Can We Pass The Test?American CitizenshipI'm the daughter of an... Read More From the creative explosion marking the outset of the universe... Read More Our Self is the true center of our being and... Read More The sapphire, protector of the innocent, celestial guardian of truth,... Read More Both Inuit Eskimo art and Native American art have gained... Read More Plato observed that the advent of an alphabet making writing... Read More Let's trace the number of Chinese characters from Han Dynasty... Read More This is an entry from my three volume encyclopedia.CRUSADES, CATHARS... Read More She dreams of touring Europe and the US to sing... Read More Firstly revealed by the fable Dr.Dre, and then debut of... Read More CHRETIEN DE TROYES:Academics will freely admit that this man was... Read More Russian porcelain is widely known and is often used as... Read More Since pearls are so rare and possess such a high... Read More New Age - A Paradigm Shift to Divine Consciousness &... Read More No, by jewelry and the darkside, we are not referring... Read More
Adsense
websites
Saturn: Your Challenge to Become An Expert
Astrology Signs and Planets Reveal Who You Are
Personal Protection Specialists and Celebrity Stalking
Peruvian Artist Shares Why Preservation of Culture and Rituals Sacred To His Art
Fancy Dress Parties
Conspiracies: The Pyramid and the Sphinx
Mexican Living: Somethings Got to be Done!
A Defense of Cultural Intelligence
Mars, the Mighty and Marvelous
Jewelry Making for Fun and Profit
American Citizenship
Progress Versus Perfection
Mythology and Parables in Modern Communication - Part 3
Precious Stones ? The Big Five - Part 3 The Sapphire
Authenticity of Eskimo Inuit Art & Native Indian Art
OM to Ogham
How Many Chinese Characters Are There?
History and the Cathars (Courtly Love):
Dreaming of Love and Peace
Eminem Slimshady
Troubadours
Old Russian Symbolics on a White and Blue Porcelain
Precious Stones The Big Five-Part 5 The Pearl
The New Age Movement
Jewelry and the Darkside: Fashionable Gothic Jewelry
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
The Red Violin - Film Review
The film portrays the creation, fate, and redemption of a... Read More
How Many Chinese Characters Are There?
Let's trace the number of Chinese characters from Han Dynasty... Read More
Heraldry in the Crafts--Why Not Specialize?
I have a small website where I try to sell... Read More
Sir Francis Drake
FRANCIS DRAKE: - It is my perspective that history has... Read More
Numerology Is More Than Numbers
Over thiry-five years ago, I picked up a book on... Read More
Those Dirty Mexicans--Oh, Really?
When my wife and I announced that we were moving... Read More
Is Timing the Secret of Success?
Success is often viewed as a magic potion. Market demand... Read More
Eminem Slimshady
Firstly revealed by the fable Dr.Dre, and then debut of... Read More
A Look at the Heart of American Beauty
Sam Mendes' darkly comic portrayal of suburbia in his first... Read More
Astrology : A Science or Superstition?
Human beings have always been curious to know their future.... Read More
Bohemian Grove
"Bohemian Grove is 'the greatest men's party on Earth', according... Read More
Saturn: Your Challenge to Become An Expert
The true meaning of Saturn is that he is the... Read More
Elvis Presley, Lifting Off
He seems to live forever. A network television movie about... Read More
A Short Biography on Some of Europes Most Loved and Hated Monarchs - Pt 4 Queen Mary I
Queen Mary I of England was born in 1516 to... Read More
Precious Stones The Big Five-Part 5 The Pearl
Since pearls are so rare and possess such a high... Read More
African Masks
The following is a general over view of African Masks.There... Read More
Medieval Siege Weaponry: Castle Walls Beware
Medieval siege weaponry was required in any self-respecting war leader's... Read More
To Quote or Not to Quote
"By necessity, by proclivity, and by delight, we all quote."... Read More
Progress Versus Perfection
From the creative explosion marking the outset of the universe... Read More
In Seach Of Heroes - Matrimonial Heroes (Part One)
Just as our arrival at destination is tied to the... Read More
Amber Mysteries Revealed
Amber, the gem of a stone that's not really a... Read More
A Brief Biography of Rene Boissevain the Agate Adventurer and Creator of The Crystal Caves Museum
In 1964 myself (René), Nelleke my wife, and our daughter... Read More
Josephine the Merovingian
I cannot emphasize enough the dearth of information, or the... Read More
Humans are not special, hate to break it to you
I hate to break it to you, but humans are... Read More
A Maiden Trip
I belong to a hamlet called 'Konthai' which is in... Read More
Humanities |