Maybe This Christmas Will Be Different....
Have you always dreamed of a Norman Rockwell Christmas - where everyone is singing Christmas carols and there is joy in the house? Alas, your Christmas memories are often filled with Uncle Joe getting drunk and your parents ending up in a fight. By the end of Christmas day family members are mad and no one is talking to one another.
Christmas can be very difficult if you grew up in a dysfunctional family and you choose to go home for Christmas. Often the holidays bring out the worst in families instead of the best. Old arguments that have never been resolved are reignited. Old wounds that you thought were healed are ripped open once again.
Is there anything you can do to truly make this Christmas different?
Here are a few suggestions:
1. Pray that God will give you the wisdom to know when to speak and when to stay quiet. Many times you won't win the age old argument. Is it worth the fight?
2. Have realistic expectations about what will happen at your family gathering. Often we dream and envision things will be different and our dreams are crushed once again.
3. Limit your time or choose not to place yourself in toxic situations. If you will be putting yourself or your children in physical or emotional danger you may need to choose to stay home.
4. Remember and be with your "adopted family". Often people from dysfunctional families have extremely close friends who feel like family. I have had several people tell me about a friend who is like a sister or a mother to them. You may choose to spend Christmas with your "adopted family".
5. Remember your heavenly Father loves you unconditionally and that he can meet your needs, even when your earthly family does not meet your needs.
6. Recognize that there is a difference between forgiveness and acceptance of actions. You can and should forgive family members and others who have hurt you. That does not mean their actions were acceptable. Also, you can be cautious of putting yourself into situations where you could be emotionally or physically harmed once again.
7. Don't be too hard on yourself. You may have made great progress in your own spiritual and emotional growth and find when you go home you are right back where you started. Dysfunctional family patterns have a tremendous pull. You can realign yourself when you return to your own home.
8. Make a conscious choice to raise your own children and live your life in a more healthy family. Decide what new Christ honoring traditions you want to start for your family.
9. Be open to and aware of other people who come from hurting families. You have a story you may choose to share of the healing that has occurred for you. You can give others hope.
10. Be aware that your own addictions may resurface. Those could include overspending, overeating, drinking, or drug use. Often we try to soothe our emotional pain by overspending or overeating.
Above all I pray you will be kind to yourself. Have realistic expectations of what Christmas will be for your family. Create your own good memories with your own family or your "adopted family". Remember Mary's first Christmas was probably not what she expected. She probably did not plan on delivering Jesus in a barn, but what a blessed and glorious night. May God be your peace and joy this Christmas.
© 2004 Kimberly Chastain
About the Author
Kimberly M. Chastain, MS, LMFT is the Christian Working Mom Coach and a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping Christian women make the most of their lives. She is the author of the on-line course, "I Can't Say No" and Pearls of Encouragement for Christian Working Moms, a free e-book. If you suffer from "I Can't Say 'No" Syndrome, visit Kimberly's site today for the details on an exciting email course that's sure to set you free! http://www.christianworkingmom.com/online.htm. The Text Information Box above MUST be included for reprint privileges. You may reprint this article in it's entirety with the attached text box.
 Google News Updated : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 11:56:09 GMT Cambodia: Thailand withdraws troops from border - The Associated Press
The Associated Press - PHNOM PENH, Cambodia (AP) - Thai troops retreated from a disputed border zone Tuesday, a Cambodian general said, averting a possible military clash after Cambodia's prime minister issued an ultimatum to Thailand to withdraw by midday. Thai army to maintain troops in disputed area Thailand, Cambodia spar over border troop positions Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 09:51:31 GMT Kashkari Leaps From Obscurity to Lead Role in US Bank Rescue - Bloomberg
Bloomberg - By Robert Schmidt and Rebecca Christie Oct. 14 (Bloomberg) -- Minutes before Neel Kashkari's public debut as the chief of the US Treasury's financial rescue plan, he sat in a hotel lobby in Washington, unrecognized by many of the international bankers ... What Treasury is planning After Historic Rally, Feds To Buy Bank Ownerships Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 07:57:34 GMT Berlusconi Shares Investor Pain With $2 Billion Loss (Update2) - Bloomberg
Bloomberg - By Andrew Davis and Lorenzo Totaro Oct. 14 (Bloomberg) -- Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi promises Italians they won't lose ``even a euro'' of their bank accounts in the current credit crisis. Video: Bush Says He Will Help US Banks Bush To Speak About $250 Billion Banking Rescue Plan Monday Morning Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 09:46:59 GMT North Korea to resume nuclear dismantlement - The Associated Press
The Associated Press - SEOUL, South Korea (AP) - North Korea planned to resume dismantling its nuclear program Tuesday for the first time in two months, days after the United States removed the communist regime from a terrorism blacklist as a reward under a disarmament pact. IAEA: N. Korea disabling set for Tuesday North Korean foreign minister set for nuclear talks in Moscow Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 09:11:42 GMT Asian, European Markets Continue Upbeat Rally - Washington Post
Washington Post - By Blaine Harden TOKYO, Oct. 14 -- Feverish buying in Japan on Tuesday replaced last week's market panic, as the benchmark Nikkei stock index soared to its largest-ever percentage gain in a single day, up 14.15 percent -- part of a global rally in ... Video: Asia Markets Mostly Up Monday World Markets Reflect Growing Hope Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:11:14 GMT Milk, Sunshine Each Day Keep the Doctor Away - Washington Post
Washington Post - · Kids from newborns to teenagers should take twice as much Vitamin D as previously recommended because it may help prevent serious disease, a leading medical group said yesterday. Video: HealthWatch More tenacious about vitamin D Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 06:17:28 GMT House Race Is Shaken by Report of an Affair - New York Times
New York Times - By IAN URBINA WASHINGTON - The Florida congressman who succeeded Mark Foley after he resigned because of a sex scandal is now embroiled in a sex scandal of his own, and has requested a Congressional ethics investigation to clear his name. A Florida (House) Bombshell House to investigate lawmaker for alleged affair, ethics lapse Publ.Date : Tue, 14 Oct 2008 03:20:36 GMT Add RSS Feeds to My Website |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... Why should February 14th get all of the attention?1. Water... Read More Fathers Day is another reason to celebrate another responsible adult... Read More "I Just Love It!"You know the scenario. You're sitting at... Read More If you were asked to name 10 reasons why you... Read More Did you know that after Christmas, Valentine's Day is the... Read More Mistletoe. Holiday parties. New Years kiss at midnight. This time... Read More One of my earliest memories involves a Fourth of July... Read More It's not only the candy that puts smiles on kids'... Read More Birthday party supplies and decorations can bring that necessary magic... Read More Do you know someone who is absolutely crazy about polar... Read More Canada's Parks Day falls on July 16'th this year. First... Read More If you're looking for ways to decorate your home in... Read More A mother's bracelet is a personalized bracelet that celebrates the... Read More "It is therefore recommended ... to set apart Thursday the... Read More Holidays may come and go but some holidays, like Christmas,... Read More With Valentine's Day just around the corner, it's time to... Read More No matter how many lists you make, cards you send,... Read More The Thanksgiving leftovers have all been eaten and the gift-buying... Read More As the holidays approach, I find myself wondering how I'm... Read More Some of my clients dread the holiday season because it... Read More Trying to fit all the planning and preparing and celebrating... Read More Time is money, and right now you don't have either... Read More Most people know that the 50th wedding anniversary is the... Read More If you*re like me, the holidays always have a way... Read More No matter what the season, packages make a statement even... Read More
Adsense
websites
Top Ten Things To Do The Day After Valentines Day
The Fathers Day Celebration
I Just Love It!
Orlando, The Vacation Station
Valentines Day - A Guide for Men
Single During the Holidays
FIREWORKS--OR, OOH, AAH, How Do They Do That?
Kids Halloween Costumes! Your Pint-sized Witches And Goblins Can Look Their Spookiest & Cutest Ever
Choosing Childrens Birthday Party Supplies and Decorations
Choosing A Great Gift For A Polar Bear Lover
Celebrate Parks Day, Everyday this Summer!
Glorious Holiday Decorating: Ten Tips
A Mothers Keepsake
Top 25 Thanksgiving Quotations
Keeping Christmas Spirit Alive: Christmas Just Isn?t The Same Without Santa Claus!
Say I Love You For Valentines Day
10 Tips for More Meaningful Holidays
A Simple Little Holiday Plan
Holiday Expectations
Preparing For the Holidays: Ho Ho Ho... or Bah Humbug!
Virtual Assistants... Even Santa Needs One!
Low On Cash For Christmas? Try Gifts in a Jar
Traditional and Modern Anniversary Gifts
Survival Kit for the Holidays: Grace, Gratitude and Random Acts Of Kindness
Beyond All Tied Up With A Bow - Great Tips for Creating Beautifully Wrapped Holiday Gifts
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
Experience Mothers Day In A Whole New Way
Mother's Day is the day when sons, daughters and husbands... Read More
Kid Birthday Party Game Ideas - 7 Proven Winners
Here are 7 classic kid birthday party game ideas that... Read More
New Year?s Resolution ? Why Not Resolve To Take Back Your Life?
It's time once again for the dreaded New Year's Resolutions.... Read More
Fun Halloween Ideas
Looking for interesting Halloween ideas? Perhaps you are looking for... Read More
Bust Holiday Stress!
The holidays will be here before you know it. Clear... Read More
Mothers Day is coming-Dont Blow It!
Mother's Day is May 8th. And, you do realize all... Read More
30th Birthday Gift Ideas
Choosing a birthday gift for a friend about to turn... Read More
10 Ways to Keep Your Expectations From Making You Crazy This Christmas
Christmas is a wonderful time! Everyone is full of good... Read More
Outdoor Halloween Decorations
Few things are more thrilling for a trick-or-treater than walking... Read More
Creating Your Own Holiday Traditions
I love this time of year -- decorations on the... Read More
Christmas Lights Add Sparkle To The Holidays
Electric Christmas lights have been around since the 1880's. It... Read More
Going Solo on Valentines Day: Advice For Singles
The stores are decorated in candy hearts, flowers and bears.... Read More
What Is The Easter In Your Business?
Easter 2005 is coming, Sunday March 27, and Christians worldwide... Read More
The Origin of the Christmas Tree
Have you ever wondered why we decorate a tree for... Read More
Samanthas Bay Leaf Ritual for the New Year
HI would like to share with you a ritual I... Read More
Kids Birthdays - How to Throw an Unforgettable Kids Birthday Party
Kids take their birthdays very seriously, and are extremely disappointed... Read More
Dont Forget Grandmom - Shes an Earth Angel Too!
Have you ever thought what you would do without your... Read More
Find New And Exciting Halloween Masks For Your Next Costume Party!
For most people that don't enjoy wearing messy makeup, Halloween... Read More
Great Gifts Under $5
Gift giving is at its absolute finest during the Christmas... Read More
Dont Want Another Carpet Sweeper This Year For Christmas?
Unique "Drop-A-Hint" Plan Sends Your Gift Wishes Via E-mailSure, they... Read More
Unique Gift Ideas -- The Gift Of Fitness
Well, it's almost that time of year again ? the... Read More
Celebrating Fathers
On Father's Day, we celebrate the guys in our lives.... Read More
Christmas Shopping for a New Love
Christmas is a magical time of year, especially for those... Read More
A Harvest Halloween
To take advantage of the last days of autumn, we... Read More
Mothers Day, Do You Know What Youre Giving The Woman Who Gave You Life?
Mother's Day, Do you know what you're giving the woman... Read More
Holiday |