From the moment we wake in the morning our heads start to fill with all sorts of thoughts. What will you give the kids for breakfast? Will you get the time to iron your blouse before you leave for work? What will you do if you miss the bus? And so it goes on.
The first clue to turning your life around and making it happier is to stop using negative thought. You probably aren't even aware that you're doing it but when you say "I was hit by a car and now I've got a broken arm" and feel angry about it, you're using a negative attitude. If you'd said "I was hit by a car but luckily I escaped with just a broken arm" and feel relived about it, you're tackling life with a positive attitude.
The question should never be "why did it happen to me?" but "what can I do to improve things now that it's happened."
The tips below will help you understand what you could be doing wrong and help you turn around your negative attitude, helping you cope with life and enjoy a brighter future.
1. SEE LIFE AS THE ENEMY
The whole world's out to get you, isn't it? Or, if not, maybe just certain groups of people?
By being suspicious of others' motifs and believing that they have some hidden agenda that includes hurting you, you'll keep people at arm's length and never make new friends or improve the friendships you already have.
For the person who's wrapped up in a negative world, the result is that they have an excuse to not go out and meet people. Meeting people would mean they'd have to be friendly and that takes too much effort.
For a more positive outlook on life you need to understand that most people are far too busy running their own lives to bother hurting you. Being friends is far more pleasant than being enemies so why would they want to put so much energy into something they'd have nothing to gain from?
2. BE LAZY
Again, by avoiding the gym or any other form of exercise you won't need to meet people and be pleasant.
We have enough knowledge nowadays to know that exercise is important, not only to our physical well-being but also to our mental health.
Eat a few fatty snacks while you're veg-ing in front of the TV and you'll soon be feeling too tired and lethargic to move! Just don't start moaning when you start suffering from all kinds of health problems that are associated with lack of exercise, from osteoporosis to coronary artery disease. Yes, lack of exercise is nearly as dangerous as smoking!
Next time the sun's shining, put on some comfortable clothes and go for a walk. Exercise releases adrenaline and therefore reduces stress so you'll definitely feel better for it.
3. DON'T KEEP UP APPEARANCES
If you don't go out much, who's going to see you anyway? And even if you did, who'd care?
You should care, that's who!
When you don't bother to put on your make-up or do your hair properly, you're just telling the world that you're not as important as the rest of the people around you. Before you know it you won't even bother to wash, and you'll be walking around in wrinkled, un-ironed clothes. Hell, why even bother to get dressed at all? Just lay around in your night clothes watching TV all day, why don't you?
Even if you're just nipping to the shop make sure you look, if not your best, at least presentable. How others view you will eventually reflect in how you view yourself. When you have a positive attitude towards yourself, you're far more likely to see life in a positive manner, too.
4. TAKE THE LONESOME TRAIL
If you hide yourself away at home, you won't have to meet other people who are still able to be happy, even though they're undoubtedly suffering many of the same problems as you, plus as few of their own. Why would you want to accept that others could have problems and still be cheerful?
Get out there and spend time with friends. Experiencing other people dealing with their lives in a positive manner can do wonders to how you feel about your own life. If their cup's half full while yours is half-empty, ask yourself why. What are they doing that you're not?
5. GET OFF YOUR HEAD
Do you get yourself drunk or stoned in order to forget your woes? I bet you're having great fun while you're falling all over the place, spilling and breaking things as you go, aren't you? And by the time you wake up in the morning, all of your problems will have magically disappeared, won't they?
No? Why not?
Because no matter how much you drink, smoke or inject yourself with illegal substances, the only things you'll change are your ability to do your job; the way your family feels around you; your health as you deprive your body of important nutrients; and if you think you've got problems now, just wait until your bank balance starts to diminish even further!
Put the bottle, joint or pills away and accept that they aren't going to make your problems go away ? they're just going to add to them.
6. PLAY THE VICTIM
Isn't it awful when the world owes you something but just isn't giving it? That chip on your shoulder just keeps getting bigger and bigger until in the end, the world is probably the last place you want to be.
The truth is, the world owes you nothing. Regardless of who's done what to you and why, nobody but yourself can do anything to change things.
Sure, when somebody's upset us it'd be nice to receive and apology but what if we don't? Where will sitting about stewing get us?
If you think that playing the victim will make others want to be with you, you're wrong. They may feel sorry for you but not for the reasons you'd think.
Nobody wants to be with miserable people and you think they should then you're simply being selfish. Misery breeds misery and you've no right to expect others to want some of yours!
Whatever's happened to make you unhappy, let it go! It's in the past and none of that matters anymore. You've got a future ahead of you and only you can make it bright.
7. HIDE IN YOUR SHELL
If you keep yourself to yourself and don't tell anybody anything, nobody will be able to hurt you, right?
Well, there's some truth in that, but by the same token, nobody will be able to support you when you need it, laugh with you, cry with you or just be there, either.
People need people - we're designed that way. If you insist on being a closed book you'll only have yourself to blame when you become a lonely old person with nobody to turn to.
Accept that some people will hurt you. It happens to all of us. It's part of life and we have to learn to deal with it. They're not important. It's those who care about us and only want what's best for us that matter.
8. MAKE FRIENDS WITH THE EVIL GREEN MONSTER
Don't you just hate it when your neighbour buys a new car and you're still stuck with your 10 year old Ford? And "By Jove, they're having new furniture delivered ? again!"
Do you really believe that life will improve once you've bought a bigger house, had a baby, been on a foreign holiday or re-decorated the living room, don't you? There's always something that will make you feel better than you are right now.
The problem with the desire to have what others have, and what you believe you also have a right to, is that when you've finally get that house you'll then what better furniture for it. When you've furnished it to your taste (which will probably take years), you'll want to have the garden improved, a new car, a better job - there's always something more.
Don't fall for it! If you get the things you'd like to have then good for you - just don't let them hinder your chance of happiness along the way.
Look around you and appreciate the things you DO have instead of focusing on those you don't. No matter how little you think you have, if you're able to sit at a computer and read this, then trust me, there are people not far from you who are far worse off than you are!
9. STICK FIRMLY IN THE MUD
Weren't things so much better in the old days? You didn't have to fear being raped, mugged or murdered every time you left the house back then, did you? The newspapers weren't full of bad news and people actually cared about each other.
Does that sound like you?
How do you think others manage to cope with the changes in life, and the world? It's simple really; they just get out there and get on with their lives. They try to see the good in modern developments rather than dwelling on how things were in the past. By living in a time that no longer exists, you're cutting yourself off from friends, family, and your entire social network and taking a very negative attitude to life.
10. ALWAYS LOOK ON THE DARK SIDE
We all have problems ? each and every one of us. Some more than others and some more serious than others.
What those problems are is immaterial; what matters is how we deal with them.
If you look at your problems as hurdles that are stopping you from moving forward in your life then they're attacking you. It's only when you start seeing them as a challenge, or an opportunity even, that you're the one doing the attacking.
Keep a positive outlook regardless of what life throws at you and you'll stand a far better chance of dealing with your problems and enjoying the time you've been given to spend on earth.
Be happy ? you're worth it!
~~+~~+~~
Sharon Jacobsen is a freelance writer living in South Cheshire, England, with her partner Richard, also a writer. Having had more than her fair share of problems thrown at her, Sharon truly understands the philosophy of a positive attitude. To contact Sharon, please visit her website at http://www.sharon-jacobsen.co.uk
![]() Google News Updated : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:49:35 GMT IMF Urges Coordinated Action, Sees US Losses at $1.4 Trillion - Wall Street Journal
Wall Street Journal - By TOM BARKLEY WASHINGTON -- With losses on bad US assets alone expected to top $1.4 trillion, the International Monetary Fund urged global policy makers Tuesday to coordinate a response to an unprecedented financial crisis that continues to spread. IMF warns of deeper slowdown amid crisis IMF in 'severe downturn' warning Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:21:55 GMT McCain, Obama question each other's character in latest campaign ads - Baltimore Sun
Baltimore Sun - By Paul West | paul.west@baltsun.com Washington - The presidential contest turned increasingly nasty yesterday as Sens. Barack Obama and John McCain launched new personal attacks ahead of the second presidential debate. Video: AP Campaign Minute The Note: McCain Brings Attack to Second Debate Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 11:47:50 GMT Police say Kentucky woman kills self, daughters - Forbes
Forbes - AP 10.07.08, 9:30 AM ET Police were still trying to determine Tuesday why a Louisville woman apparently stabbed her two school-age daughters to death and then shot herself. Police say Kentucky woman kills self, daughters Police say Louisville woman kills self, daughters Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:38:46 GMT Kenya Detains US Author Critical of Obama - New York Times
New York Times - By JEFFREY GETTLEMAN NAIROBI, Kenya - The American author of a best-selling book highly critical of Senator Barack Obama was detained by Kenyan immigration agents on Tuesday as he prepared to give a press conference in Nairobi. Kenya Detains Author of Anti-Obama Book US anti-Obama book author faces Kenya deportation: officials Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 13:00:27 GMT OTC Cold Medicines to Be Relabeled for Young Children - Wall Street Journal
Wall Street Journal - By JENNIFER CORBETT DOOREN WASHINGTON -- Companies making over-the-counter cold and cough medicines have agreed to stop marketing the products to children younger than 4 as part of an effort to reduce accidental overdoses, an industry trade group said ... Video: Cold Meds Under Fire, Again ALERT: Drug Companies Warning to Parents Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 14:15:50 GMT Senator Warned a Friend That Jail Was a Risk - New York Times
New York Times - By NEIL A. LEWIS WASHINGTON - The day after the FBI confronted Bill Allen, an Alaska oil services millionaire, with evidence that he had tried to bribe state lawmakers, he reached out to Senator Ted Stevens by telephone to discuss how their ... Stevens unplugged: a defiant, salty health nut “I Love You, You Know,” and More Revelations from the Stevens Trial Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:35:08 GMT Study: Using fan on sleeping baby reduces risk of SIDS - San Jose Mercury News
San Jose Mercury News - By Linda Goldston Ayde Gonzales's mother was surprised when she insisted that her newborn son must sleep on his back, not on his side. Fans May Reduce Babies' Risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Fan in Room Seems to Cut Infants’ Risk of Crib Death Publ.Date : Tue, 07 Oct 2008 12:46:19 GMT More Web Site Traffic |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... "You cannot capture happiness no matter how hard you may... Read More Do you really want to be happy? Everyone says yes,... Read More Why Are You Here?When I ask this question, I'm not... Read More Long-term success and happiness follows hand-in-hand with strength of character.As... Read More Well, doesn't that depend on what's causing you to be... Read More Imagine discovering a way to get rid of your fears... Read More Are You Chasing the Elusive Butterfly of Happiness?For many people... Read More This month I'm going to talk about something I've never... Read More We can all be confident when we are sure of... Read More For the longest time I was convinced that I was... Read More A woman we'll call "Jane" thought she was a great... Read More The world is becoming obsessed with money and all things... Read More Everyone I've ever met considers happiness to be desirable. There... Read More 1. Do not act in order to receive a payoff.This... Read More Can you remember a time when you became a little... Read More "The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance, the wise... Read More Happiness. The pursuit of so many. In fact, we are... Read More Everyone is in the process of seeking greater happiness. We... Read More Can money buy happiness? It's easy to say no, and... Read More Here's a multiple choice question for you. Who is more... Read More The most wasted of all days is one without laughter."... Read More The title I chose for this article makes me smile.... Read More Don't Let Life Happen To You ... Read More Life is simple. You'd be surprised to know that most... Read More In the United States, the pursuit of happiness is a... Read More
Adsense
websites
Happiness Fleeting
Acts of Kindness Benefit Everyone
10 Tips for Living the Life of Your Dreams
Happiness - Work Now or Later?
Can Money Buy You Happiness?
A Surefire Way To Manage Your Fears While Leading A Happier, Healthier Life
The Elusive Butterfly of Happiness
The Golden Moments in Life
Keeping You Confident!
Where do we Find True and Lasting Happiness?
Your Perfect Partner
Happiness And Health Are The Two Most Important Things In Life
A Model of Happiness
7 Keys to a Happy Life
Uncover Emotional Secrets and Live a Happier Life
Getting Connected
Happiness is Yours for the Taking
Conditions of Happiness: Happy vs. Unhappy - Do We Have A Choice?
Maybe Money CAN Buy Happiness
Who Is More Likely To Be Happy?
Laughter
The Science of Laughter
Dont Let Life Happen to You
Healthy, Wealthy and Happy in 2005
Clearing a Path for Happiness
When we choose to move beyond the boundaries of the... Read More
My journey to becoming a therapist began with a desire... Read More
Our sense of smell elicits strong emotional reactions and trigger... Read More
We are a pleasure seeking society. Most of us spend... Read More
So you're stuck in a rut, bored with how your... Read More
Can money buy happiness? It's easy to say no, and... Read More
Passion Love Action You! Playing with your own divinity, spirit,... Read More
I always marvel at the way people shine when they... Read More
What is your life like today? What do you want... Read More
Imagine that the Internal Revenue Service in your country claimed... Read More
People's lives today are jam-packed with great projects, ideas, to-do... Read More
I am often asked how I can live the way... Read More
Want to make a difference? What can one person do?... Read More
Happiness comes to a person when it is caused by... Read More
We are in constant competitionIf we take evolution seriously, then... Read More
Happiness is something we all seek, yet few of us... Read More
You have a purpose in life. You have a unique... Read More
What comes to your mind when you see someone who... Read More
Happiness is worth helping along.The benefits of being a happy... Read More
Learning to love yourself isn't easy - especially if you... Read More
Health and Happiness are the two things that most people... Read More
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE - how to build positive emotions for extraordinary... Read More
As a coach, I often ask myself the question why... Read More
1. Do not act in order to receive a payoff.This... Read More
Like enough of the noise awready! Geesh, people?No, I'm not... Read More
Finding Happiness |