Just Give Them a Lot of Love and You?ll be Fine

It was right about this time, 19 years ago. My wife and I were sitting in the very last Lamaze birthing class, soon to be brand new parents. I felt a wave of anxiety come over me. I had to ask the question. I raised my hand. The Nurse, her name was Dorinda, pointed at me and said, "Yes, you have a question." Did I have a question? I just knew EVERY Dad was wondering the same thing? "You have given us some great information, almost too much. I am afraid I am going to forget all this stuff?then what?" I could feel the other Dad's nodding. She smiled; she was very wise and patient. She had taught thousands of new Dads. "That's a great question," pausing for effect, she continued, "That little baby doesn't know you don't know. Just give him a lot of love, you will be fine." It turned out to be the best parenting advice I ever received.

When I was a kid, maybe five years old, I have a distinct memory of my father holding my hand at Matthews Beach in Seattle. My head came up to his waist. He was a big man, 6'-4" and 240 pounds. In his day, he was an extraordinary athlete, All-State in three sports. He once scored 34 points in a Regional Final in Basketball. He started playing baseball at age 16, pitching, his Junior year in High School.

He told me the following story one night in Seattle. We were sitting in the brand new Safeco Field watching the Seattle Mariners pound the Cleveland Indians.

By the time he was a senior in high school; pro scouts were at every game. This was 1947 in Ravenna, Ohio. The Indians had the best pitching staff in baseball. One particular scout was enamored of my Dad. He signed a whopping $500 bonus to play for the Dayton Mud Hens, AA team.

His second summer, my Dad got the call. He showed up with the scout to find the General Manager of the team, the owner, a catcher, and an empty Cleveland Stadium. He said to me with a serious tone, "Mark, I threw the best baseball of my young life. I was 19 years old and I was fast. I would guess it came in around 85 miles per hour. I was feeling good about myself. I was on. I gave it everything I had. I just knew they were impressed."

After 20 minutes, the owner stood up and yelled out to me, "Okay, Bob, we are done warming up. Go ahead and show us what you got!" Up to this point while he was telling me this story, he looked straight ahead. To end the story, he turned his head, looked straight at me and said, "I knew right then I would never play in the Big Show."

I was 42 years old when he told me that story. I heard a lot of stories growing up, but that was not one of them. This one was special. He was confiding in me. He trusted me. It was time to bare a little of his soul.

My father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's recently. Everything is changing now. The more I learn about this insidious and horrible disease, the sadder I become. A part of this big man dies a little every day. The burden is carried by my mom. She is hauling a massive load. (for a special story on Alzheimer's, go to www.mattesonavenue.com and click on "What's New!!!" tab to read the story "When the Box is Empty")

I cherish the moments I have with my dad now. I know for him, it's the 9th inning and the manager may be making that call to the bullpen any time now. Grief is a form of energy and must be dissipated somehow in healthy ways or it turns inward in the form of depression or self-destruction. Writing is how I process that grief.

I have captured many memories of my father in my journal the past year. I cry tears of regret, pain, anguish, heartache, sadness, anger and sorrow. Occasionally, when I think of my dad in that empty stadium giving it all he had, I cry a tear of joy. I love my dad.

Now my son Colin is grown. He will go off to college in the fall. 19 years later, that little baby got all the love I had. He is 6'-8", 210 pounds. He is on his way to The University of Alaska at Fairbanks in August to play basketball on a scholarship, a great athlete, a lot like his Grandpa. It's bittersweet. My father and son are leaving about the same time for different reasons. I think I am just going to give them each a lot love before they go. I will be just fine.

Pinnacle Service Group
Raising the Bar in Organizations Nationwide
Mark Matteson
877.672.2001
Fax 425.745.8981
Email psgmarkm@msn.com

For your FREE e-zine, go to http://www.mattesonavenue.com

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Google News Updated : Sun, 06 Jul 2008 06:55:22 GMT McCain Battles a Nemesis, the Teleprompter - New York Times New York Times McCain Battles a Nemesis, the Teleprompter New York Times - 7 hours ago Mary Altaffer/AP By MARK LEIBOVICH LAS VEGAS —Senator John McCain was performing relatively smoothly as he unveiled his energy plan. McCain Campaign, in Relaunch, Seeks Tighter Message Focus Wall Street Journal McCain Campaign on Obama and Iraq FOXNews The Associated Press - Washington Post - Los Angeles Times - CNN all 737 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 23:31:52 GMT Argentine Lower House Passes Grain Export-Tax Plan (Update3) - Bloomberg Voice of America Argentine Lower House Passes Grain Export-Tax Plan (Update3) Bloomberg - 8 hours ago By Eliana Raszewski July 5 (Bloomberg) -- Argentina's lower house of congress approved the government's plan to increase taxes on exports of grains and oilseeds, risking a resumption of three months of strikes by farmers. Export Tax That Angers Farmers Advances in Argentina New York Times Argentina lawmakers approve farm export tax hike guardian.co.uk RTT News - BBC News - The Associated Press - AFP all 144 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 22:41:30 GMT Smallest planet shrinks in size - BBC News Canada.com Smallest planet shrinks in size BBC News - Jul 4, 2008 The smallest planet in the Solar System has become even smaller, studies by the Messenger spacecraft have shown. Data from a flyby of Mercury in January 2008 show the planet has contracted by more than one mile (1.5km) in diameter over its history. First Results From Messenger's Mercury Flyby Slashdot Mercury is shrinking, NASA craft finds; a cool clue: 'lobate scarps' Los Angeles Times eFluxMedia - Baltimore Sun - Examiner.com - ChattahBox all 155 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 04 Jul 2008 11:45:26 GMT Obama "puzzled" by Iraq comment frenzy - Reuters Washington Post Obama "puzzled" by Iraq comment frenzy Reuters - 1 hour ago By John Whitesides, Political Correspondent ST. LOUIS (Reuters) - Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama said on Saturday his plan to end the Iraq war was unchanged and he was puzzled by the sharp reaction to his statement this week that he ... Obama struggles to thread needle on Iraq AFP Obama Refines the Blame on Iraq Miscue New York Times International Herald Tribune - Voice of America - Washington Times - New York Daily News all 1,620 news articles Publ.Date : Sun, 06 Jul 2008 05:08:23 GMT Hippie Arrests Draw ACLU’s Attention - New York Times ABC News Hippie Arrests Draw ACLU’s Attention New York Times - 6 hours ago By AP CHEYENNE, Wyo. (AP) - The American Civil Liberties Union said on Saturday that it would investigate the actions of federal officers who had arrested five members of the Rainbow Family in western Wyoming during the group’s annual gathering. ACLU plans to investigate Rainbow Family treatment The Associated Press ACLU to investigate Rainbow Family treatment LocalNews8.com WKOW-TV.com - Billings Gazette - cbs4denver.com - Austin American-Statesman all 306 news articles Publ.Date : Sun, 06 Jul 2008 00:40:38 GMT Ore. man completes flight of fancy _ in lawn chair - The Associated Press The Associated Press Ore. man completes flight of fancy _ in lawn chair The Associated Press - 1 hour ago CAMBRIDGE, Idaho (AP) - Using his trusty BB gun to help him return to Earth, a 48-year-old gas station owner flew a lawn chair rigged with helium-filled balloons more than 200 miles across the Oregon desert Saturday, landing in a field in Idaho. Video: Ore. Man Uses Balloons and a Lawn Chair to Fly AssociatedPress Believe it or not, he's lounging on air The Oregonian - OregonLive.com CNN International - BBC News - KOHD - San Jose Mercury News all 1,071 news articles Publ.Date : Sun, 06 Jul 2008 05:50:31 GMT Analysis: McCain struggles to regain footing - The Associated Press The Associated Press Analysis: McCain struggles to regain footing The Associated Press - 2 hours ago WASHINGTON (AP) - John McCain calls himself an underdog. That may be an understatement. The GOP presidential candidate trails Democrat Barack Obama in polls, organization and money while trying to succeed a deeply unpopular fellow Republican in a year ... Rural voters lean to the GOP St. Joseph News-Press Neither Obama nor McCain meets Energy Party standard The State New York Times - Online Athens - Washington Post - Newsweek all 465 news articles Publ.Date : Sun, 06 Jul 2008 04:40:55 GMT Data Feed Content for Web Pages Amazon Content

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