Divorce and Separation - A Child?s Perspective

It is always the children that suffer the most when a marriage breaks down and separation or divorce is imminent. Children of divorcing parents often witness arguments even rows and this has a strong effect on any child. Children do not understand why parents argue and cannot relate to rows during the build up to a divorce or seperation. They become confused and insecure and their life seems as if it is in turmoil. Here we explain some of the issues from a child's perspective.

Children do not understand why parents no longer love each other and cannot stay together. Prior to divorce or separation they have only known that happy caring family environment which they were brought into. To them their world has been turned upside down and they cannot see why. If parents loved each other in the past, then why can't they love one another in the future.

Children often believe that they could be the reason for a break up in a marriage which can result in long term damaging guilt complexes. A child's character often changes during divorce or separation when things are not normal at home. Children can be very sensitive to the emotional environment.

During divorce or separation many children become disruptive at school, argumentative at home and some even go into a recluse. This can be a very lonely time, particularly if they are an only child. Their friends are not going through what they are emotionally. Hence they feel that they are the odd one out all of a sudden and do not know how to cope with the situation. All they want is for their life to go back to a normal family life where parents don't argue and row as it may have been before the stress of divorce or seperation.

When a couple decide that divorce is the only option and separation is a necessity, children are again the ones that it effects the most. They are told that they will be with one parent one day and the other the next. How are they supposed to form any kind of routine ? This can often result in children not sleeping in their own beds as they prefer the comfort and security of being with a parent. Children often feel insecure and are most vulnerable even at school when they listen to their friends planning family outings and holidays.

Children of divorcing parents can feel as though they are going to miss out on family events and get togethers. During a divorce each parent makes separate commitments to a child and It is important that when arrangements have been made by the parent or parents that they keep to them as the child will feel let down and resent a parent for not being there for them after they had said they would. Reliability and punctuality are of utmost importance to a child. They will clock watch and expect to see you on time and have been looking forward to spending time with you wherever you decide to take them. In a child's eyes it's you they want to be with and it's your time spent with them that's most important to them even after the divorce or separation.

Divorce can bring our the worst in people. Never run down the other parent in front of your child. This creates resentment and bad feelings all round. Also, never think that you can buy a child if you are late or fail to follow through with your promise. Although you may think that you are doing good for buying your child a toy to impress them - think again - keep that special toy for a birthday or Christmas present. Your time to be with them is much more valuable than a toy. Even after the divorce or separation they will remember where you took them and what a fantastic time you both had rather than a toy. They will talk about your outing or time together for days because it meant so much to them to see you and have you all to themselves. Quality time rather than quantity of toys is far more important to a child.

These are just some of the issues children face when parents are going through the throws of a divorce or separation and every attempt should be made by divorcing parents to limit or reduce these adverse affects upon children.

Jenny Clair is the editor of Marriage-Divorce-Separation.com an article based web site exploring the human side of marriage breakdowns, divorce and separation situations.

http://www.marriage-divorce-separation.com

---

Google News Updated : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 02:06:27 GMT Thailand to buy 40% more rice from farmers - Financial Times Boston Globe Thailand to buy 40% more rice from farmers Financial Times - 1 hour ago By Amy Kazmin in Bangkok Thailand's struggling government has agreed to buy 40 per cent more rice from farmers this year, a decision that could boost its popularity among rural voters as it prepares to face a national referendum aimed at ending an ... Video: Locking horns over politics in Thailand -- 05 September 2008 AlJazeeraEnglish Thailand: What might happen next? BBC News Bloomberg - The Associated Press - Voice of America - Monsters and Critics.com all 3,417 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 00:49:18 GMT Boeing machinists to strike as contract talks fail - Reuters Washington Post Boeing machinists to strike as contract talks fail Reuters - 1 hour ago By Bill Rigby and Laura Myers NEW YORK/EVERETT, Washington (Reuters) - Boeing Co's 27000-strong machinists' union declared it will strike at midnight Pacific time on Friday, as the plane maker failed to improve its contract offer after two days of ... Boeing's Talks With Machinists Fail; Strike to Start (Update2) Bloomberg Boeing workers to strike at midnight -- reports MarketWatch Wall Street Journal - Washington Post - Financial Times - BloggingStocks all 1,754 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 00:18:05 GMT Transportation Dept. almost out of highway funds - The Associated Press ABC News Transportation Dept. almost out of highway funds The Associated Press - 44 minutes ago WASHINGTON (AP) - The federal highway trust fund will run out of money this month, requiring delays in payments to states for transportation construction projects, Transportation Secretary Mary Peters said Friday. Federal highway trust fund to run out of money this month Great Falls Tribune DOT says Highway Trust Fund is broke Land Line Magazine New York Times - Seattle Post Intelligencer - ABC News - Los Angeles Times all 345 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 01:21:42 GMT Why Dell Wants To Sell Its Factories - Seeking Alpha Why Dell Wants To Sell Its Factories Seeking Alpha - 24 minutes ago Dell Inc. (DELL), in a move aimed at cutting costs and improve profitability, according to the WSJ, has approached contract computer manufacturers with offers to sell most - and possibly all - of its factories around the world within the next 18 months ... Dell Trades Factories For Money Forbes Dell said to consider sale of factories MarketWatch guardian.co.uk - Bizjournals.com - BusinessWeek - Tom's Hardware Guide all 208 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 01:41:32 GMT Can Palin also galvanize the US left? - Reuters Can Palin also galvanize the US left? Reuters - 3 hours ago By Ed Stoddard - Analysis ST. PAUL (Reuters) - Sarah Palin is the magnet John McCain needs to attract religious and social conservatives who are not convinced he's one of them. McCain's big gamble Seattle Post Intelligencer US election at-a-glance: 5 Sept BBC News Los Angeles Times - NBC Sandiego.com - Boston Globe - Beliefnet.com all 673 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 05 Sep 2008 23:01:33 GMT Qaddafi Meets Rice, Talks of Cooperation on Africa, Terrorism - Bloomberg China Daily Qaddafi Meets Rice, Talks of Cooperation on Africa, Terrorism Bloomberg - 1 hour ago By Viola Gienger Sept. 6 (Bloomberg) -- Libyan leader Muammar Qaddafi met with Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice yesterday and discussed cooperation on easing tensions in Africa and fighting terrorism, aiming to overcome decades of enmity with the US ... Video: Inside Story - Rice visits Libya - 03 Sep 08 - Part 1 AlJazeeraEnglish US Libya relations in 'new phase' BBC News Aljazeera.net - Financial Times - AFP - Xinhua all 1,223 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 00:57:47 GMT Seinfeld and Gates' Microsoft misfire - Los Angeles Times Canada.com Seinfeld and Gates' Microsoft misfire Los Angeles Times - 1 hour ago The new Microsoft commercial, featuring Jerry Seinfeld and Bill Gates out discount shoe shopping, was unveiled Thursday night on TV. Microsoft Works to Perfect Windows Vista New York Times The Bill and Jerry Show Macworld Apple Insider - PC World - TG Daily - CNET News all 412 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 06 Sep 2008 00:55:05 GMT RSS For Web Pages More Web Site Traffic

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

5 Ways To Ensure You Will Have a Happy Life After Divorce

Life after divorce is something that most people who are... Read More

Anatomy of a Divorce: How it Really Works

The legal divorce vs. your real divorce The legal... Read More

Child Support: 5 Key Things Every Parent Should Know

There is no magic solution to getting issues surrounding child... Read More

Spousal Emotional Abuse During Divorce--What You Can Do

Is your spouse violent, abusive, harassing? In cases of harassment... Read More

Women And Divorce: How Women Should Protect Themselves Financially Regarding Divorce

Women who believe a divorce is a possibility or who... Read More

Divorce Online Sevice - Why Should We Lose Money And Time Applying For Divorce?

Attempts to use the worldwide Web as an effective means... Read More

Divorce and Uncle Sam: Top 10 Things You Should Know When Filing Your Taxes

1. What is my filing status? (Married, Single, Head of... Read More

Hire Divorce Lawyer or Use Online Divorce Forms

When do you need to hire a family law attorney... Read More

Top 5 To Dos Before Saying ?I Do?

1. DO allow yourself enough time to make one of... Read More

A Time of Grief and Healing After Separation and Divorce

I thought I would never feel the light of life... Read More

Marriage - Divorce - Separation - How to Handle the Split Loyalties with Friends After Separation

We have all most probably encountered it at some stage... Read More

Avoid Lawyers! Do-It-Yourself Divorce Saved Me Tons of Money!

Let me preface this by saying right up front -... Read More

Dating Tips for Divorced and Widowed Moms

Dating is tough for just about everybody, but it's even... Read More

Effects of Divorce on Children

When a couple decides their marriage is over, a tremendous... Read More

Divorce Roadmap: The Route Around the Legal System

Let's look at how a divorce case works so you... Read More

Four Tips to Save You Money in a Divorce Case

1. Have an Clear Written Fee AgreementMost experienced and effective... Read More

Does Your Sexless Marriage Have You Thinking About Divorce?

If you are in a sexless marriage and are unhappy... Read More

Marriage Seperation - A Practical Guide

Finance in marriage seperation is a very big issue particularly... Read More

5 Things To Do Before You Even Think About Getting A Divorce

There are many steps to take to protect yourself in... Read More

3 Major Divorce Parenting Mistakes And Learn How To Avoid Them

What 3 major divorce parenting mistakes that surely lead to... Read More

The Legal Side of Divorce

While divorce can be an emotionally draining experience, even in... Read More

Divorce

The most recent statistics show that about 50% of all... Read More

10 Ways to Keep Divorce Lawyers From Ruining Your Life

Everyone has heard the story (from friends, co-workers, and family... Read More

What Are You Waiting For?

So, you've decided that you're no longer "a couple", but... Read More

7 Ways to Rediscover Your True Passion after Divorce

Going through a divorce is a very challenging time in... Read More