Love Eluding You? Let Go and It May Find You

How many times have you heard someone say it was when they weren't looking for love that they found it? Often they'll say, "I had just accepted the possibility that I may not find someone and realized that I'd be ok." Or, "It's ok if I'm single for the rest of my life."

It's a paradox. We're taught to focus on what we want and to take action until we reach our target. Yet if we focus or hold on too tight to the target, it eludes our grasp and gets further and further away.

What's a single gal or guy to do?

I needed an answer so I called relationship coach Karen Jones. I figured if anyone knew the answer she would.

Karen has been working with and listening to hundreds of single and married women for eight years through her 'Heart Matters' (http://www.heartmatter.net) coaching company. When I asked her for an explanation of this paradox she explained it like this:

"Think of it in terms of energy. There is a flow to it; the more attached you are to an outcome, the more you squeeze the flow, and you either slow it down, divert it, or simply shut if off. I like to use the imagery of being in the shower, and grabbing a bar of soap. If you squeeze too hard the soap jumps out of your hand. It's like that with relationships. If you squeeze too hard around relationship energy it becomes too hard to hold. Loosen your grip, and the soap (relationship) is there."

She then went on to explain the solution.

"You have to decide you're just going to be happy in life, no matter what. Make your life work now. Do what you love to do, and spend time in ways that fulfill you. One indirect benefit of that decision (and way of being), is this: that energy is very attractive. You're doing things that interest you, which will create opportunities for you to meet people that you enjoy; men as well as women who'd be good to spend time with.

Just to clarify. This doesn't mean you give up on your vision of having a happy, successful marriage. You need to keep that dream alive in your heart. It does mean you let go of the specific details you have pictured in your mind about your dream. For example: your husband will be 6'2" tall and have blue eyes and blond hair, you'll have 2 kids - a twin boy and girl, and your house will be in this city on this street etc. Trust that your vision will unfold and that it may look very different from your picture. In fact, it's often better than what you could have possibly imagined."

It's like this invisible fine-line exists. While you need to clearly see and know what you want and take action to make your intention a reality, at the same time you have to be ok if you don't get it. Expect to get it yet don't be attached to getting the outcome. If you find yourself holding on too tight, just let go and enjoy life. Love may find you.

Sue Bond shares dating stories, tips, dating site reviews, and news on what works and doesn't work in the world of online dating on her online dating site. Check out the blog!

For women who want to have the relationship of their dreams, visit Karen Jones at http://www.heartmatter.net

---

Google News Updated : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:51:44 GMT Rapper 50 Cent sues Taco Bell over ad - New York Daily News ABC News Rapper 50 Cent sues Taco Bell over ad New York Daily News - 36 minutes ago BY THOMAS ZAMBITO The rapper - real name Curtis Jackson - is suing the fast-food chain for using his hip-hop persona to tout its tacos. 50 Cent sues Taco Bell over ad campaign The Associated Press Rapper 50 Cent says Taco Bell stole his endorsement Reuters E! Online - MTV.com - CNNMoney.com - KWCH all 187 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:15:09 GMT Zimbabwe Parties May Sign Unity Deal Soon, Business Day Reports - Bloomberg ABC News Zimbabwe Parties May Sign Unity Deal Soon, Business Day Reports Bloomberg - 28 minutes ago By Carli Lourens July 24 (Bloomberg) -- Zimbabwe's ruling and opposition parties may sign a power-sharing agreement soon as they have already agreed on a wide range of issues, Business Day reported, citing people it didn't identify. Fearsome Zimbabwe militias are afraid Los Angeles Times Delayed Zimbabwe Power-Sharing Talks Seen Beginning Thursday Voice of America BBC News - guardian.co.uk - AFP all 3,609 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:23:06 GMT Discovery may boost statin safety - BBC News InjuryBoard.com Discovery may boost statin safety BBC News - 7 hours ago Scientists have pinpointed a gene mutation as a major cause of a rare side effect of the cholesterol-lowering drugs statins. They hope the discovery could lead to a simple test to identify patients at increased risk of myopathy - severe muscle pain and ... Gene May Predict Cholesterol-Lowering Drug Risk, Study Says Bloomberg Genetic Cause of Statin-Related Muscle Pain Found Washington Post U.S. News & World Report - Reuters - The Associated Press - The Star-Ledger - NJ.com all 172 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 23 Jul 2008 23:14:24 GMT Karadzic lived the good life with wine, song - Reuters ABC News Karadzic lived the good life with wine, song Reuters - 2 hours ago By Ivana Sekularac BELGRADE (Reuters) - Radovan Karadzic lived the good life while hiding from justice for 11 years: he watched his diet, fell in love and hung out in a small bar where hardliners gathered to sing about his wartime exploits. Video: Karadzic's arrest sparks clashes - 23 Jul 08 AlJazeeraEnglish Karadzic's secret life enthralls his fellow Serbs The Associated Press Reuters UK - euronews - New York Times - Voice of America all 5,771 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 04:05:33 GMT Billionaires Back Antismoking Effort - New York Times Boston Globe Billionaires Back Antismoking Effort New York Times - 27 minutes ago Bill Gates and New York Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg announced their antismoking initiative on Wednesday in New York. By DONALD G. MCNEIL JR Bill Gates and Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg announced on Wednesday that they would spend $500 million to stop ... Video: Gates, Bloomberg Pool Riches to Fight Smoking AssociatedPress The $500 million war on smoking Minneapolis Star Tribune BusinessWeek - eFluxMedia - Bizjournals.com - FOXBusiness all 471 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 06:23:48 GMT Favre's heir? With backing from mates, Rodgers waits patiently - USA Today Bleacher Report Favre's heir? With backing from mates, Rodgers waits patiently USA Today - 4 hours ago By Matt Ludtke, AP By Larry Weisman, USA TODAY He no longer sounds like a retired player after seemingly passing on the opportunity to lead a talent-laden Packers squad. Video: The Rift Between Favre and the Packers AssociatedPress Finding new home for Brett Favre won't be easy Chicago Tribune Minneapolis Star Tribune - Kansas City Star - The Canadian Press - Tampa Tribune all 512 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 02:06:18 GMT Christian Bale's lady sidekick: Sibi Bale - Los Angeles Times ABC News Christian Bale's lady sidekick: Sibi Bale Los Angeles Times - 4 hours ago Like the Dark Knight/Bruce Wayne, Christian Bale is a real-life man of mystery. Averse to personal publicity, he is well-known for not wanting to discuss his private life. Christian Bale, Wife "Solid" at Knight's Spain Premiere E! Online Bale's family feud led to scuffle The Star-Ledger - NJ.com People Magazine - New York Daily News - Boston Herald - Variety all 2,386 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 24 Jul 2008 02:10:31 GMT RSS Parser Increase Online Traffic

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

How to Overcome The Fear of Rejection

Feeling uncomfortable in the stomach, cold sweaty palm, trembling of... Read More

The Key to Reaching the Next Level in Dating Success

Back in the days when I was a teenager, I... Read More

Using the Internet as a Method for Adult Dating

In this day and age, many find it hard to... Read More

Ways to Say I Love You in Another Language

Have you been looking for romantic and provocative ways to... Read More

Online Dating - 8 Sizzling Tips To Make Your Profile Standout!

We know one of the hardest part of creating your... Read More

You Might Be A Stalker If....

Okay, so you wanted to know what your boyfriend or... Read More

How To Land The Catch Of Your Life Without Becoming Sharkbait

However you like to do it, dating is a dangerous... Read More

7 Habits of Highly Successful Dating

1) Don't look at other womenWhile dating, focus your attention... Read More

No More Desperation Dating

When you think about what you find attractive in a... Read More

Find Reputable Internet Dating Services That Want To Earn Your Trust

Internet dating services are popping up online like dandelions in... Read More

Got Attitude?

Probably you do have attitude, but what is it? Jaded,... Read More

Dating Relationships and Your Future

How Your Dating Life Could Affect Your MarriageIf you've ever... Read More

Dating Online ? Can Be Less Stressful

Dating is a challenge at any age and for both... Read More

Online Dating - 5 Essential Safety Tips

So, you've decided to take the plunge and follow in... Read More

When it Comes to Multicultural Dating The Most Important Ingredient is Love

Have you been only dating people from your own ethnic... Read More

Dating On The Internet Is Growing! See How Online Dating Can Help You Find Available Singles Today

Dating on the Internet is growing rapidly year after year,... Read More

Dating ? What to Do on Your First Date

Dating at first is fun but as it goes on... Read More

Compliments - A Very Powerful Dating Tool!

Giving a compliment can be a very powerful tool when... Read More

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places?

You've hung out in bars, you've answered the personals, you've... Read More

Online Dating, Why Not?

So, you're looking to meet that "special someone". You have... Read More

How to Flirt and Never Get Rejected!

When it comes to flirting, you can get your point... Read More

Dating On-line in Safety

Dating online can be great fun, stimulating and exciting. So... Read More

Blind Date

Very few singles have ever gone through life without having... Read More

Your Online Personal Ad- Write For Success!

Where are all the good men/women? You go to parties,... Read More

If You Want A Date, Promote Yourself!

How to find a date? Promote yourself! That's one of... Read More