Is Your Baggage Holding You Back?

Here you are single again and ready to re-enter the big scary world of dating, and like most everyone, you bring along "baggage". We all have it; some more than others, however, now is the time to analyze the necessity of that baggage in your new life. No one is exempt. You may have childhood angst over paternal divorce, conflicts with friends and family, or remorse over missteps and lost opportunities. Everyone has a history and an emotional response to it. What matters, when it comes to being a healthy, thriving human being, is whether or not you have deliberately unpacked your baggage.

As you delve into this new world, think about your life and the events that put you back into the dating world. Maybe it was divorce, a death or the end of a relationship, all very traumatic events in our lives, but if you are ready to move on with your life, you must put aside the unnecessary "baggage". Deal with your grief from whatever situation and prepare your mind and heart to accept love and happiness again.

Keep in mind that although someone might say to you "tell me what happened", guess what? They really do not want to know your life history, simple and to the point is enough information. People are generally nice regardless of what you say and yes, it can keep the conversation flowing, but keep in mind the more you say about the "baggage", you are not creating any sympathy, but merely bringing feelings back to the surface. If the wounds have not completely healed, take steps to resolve the issues that cripple you emotionally and move into a happy and emotionally well-balanced life.

This can be approached in various degrees. While we all have our own way of dealing with our emotional baggage, sometimes it is more than one can bear on their own. Seek out the counsel of your family, clergy or a counselor to help you confront and deal with the issues that are holding you back. By all means to do not sink into seclusion, come out of the darkness, join a health club, take a yoga class and never forget the power of prayer. Expose the issues; sometimes in order to get beyond your past, you sometimes need to get into your past, what went wrong, why did it happen, explore what you are feeling, is it anger, resentment or just simply a broken heart?

We do not want to hear about your ex, how badly they treated you, ran up your phone bill, and cleared out your bank account or the things that were wrong with them. Know what this tells someone? You are not over it, you are still angry and hurt and certainly "not emotionally available". You need to face these issues head on and let go of them before considering new beginnings. Deal with your emotions, feelings, and move forward thus unpacking the excess baggage.

Realize and accept your situation and its circumstances, when it is over, take the time to grieve and deal with your feelings and then set them aside, clear your mind and your heart of all obstructions and embark on your new journey with a clean slate.

In conversations with someone new, tell them about yourself, what you like to do, what are your passions, your goals in life, your job, your children, your pets or anything that is a positive, and forget about the negative. Let me tell you this, you let that negativity creep back in and you are going to be sitting home alone watching sappy movies and crying over lost love when you could be enjoying the world that is there to be explored.

So, unpack your bags and put the unnecessary items away! Store the baggage, be it emotional, physical or human, you no longer have any need for it. Seek the new horizon ahead of you, the happiness that awaits you and the satisfaction of knowing that what you have to offer another person is the greatest of all gifts, but let that gift be of you, your present and your future, the past done, time to begin anew.

Remember?..always travel light.

Linda Reeves is a 47 year old advice columnist who writes for Cupids Blackbook a free dating site on the web. She Lives in the American midwest.

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Google News Updated : Sun, 06 Jul 2008 06:55:22 GMT Obama "puzzled" by Iraq comment frenzy - Reuters Washington Post Obama "puzzled" by Iraq comment frenzy Reuters - 1 hour ago By John Whitesides, Political Correspondent ST. LOUIS (Reuters) - Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama said on Saturday his plan to end the Iraq war was unchanged and he was puzzled by the sharp reaction to his statement this week that he ... Obama struggles to thread needle on Iraq AFP Obama Refines the Blame on Iraq Miscue New York Times International Herald Tribune - Voice of America - Washington Times - New York Daily News all 1,620 news articles Publ.Date : Sun, 06 Jul 2008 05:08:23 GMT Analysis: McCain struggles to regain footing - The Associated Press The Associated Press Analysis: McCain struggles to regain footing The Associated Press - 2 hours ago WASHINGTON (AP) - John McCain calls himself an underdog. That may be an understatement. The GOP presidential candidate trails Democrat Barack Obama in polls, organization and money while trying to succeed a deeply unpopular fellow Republican in a year ... Rural voters lean to the GOP St. Joseph News-Press Neither Obama nor McCain meets Energy Party standard The State New York Times - Online Athens - Washington Post - Newsweek all 465 news articles Publ.Date : Sun, 06 Jul 2008 04:40:55 GMT Argentine Lower House Passes Grain Export-Tax Plan (Update3) - Bloomberg Voice of America Argentine Lower House Passes Grain Export-Tax Plan (Update3) Bloomberg - 8 hours ago By Eliana Raszewski July 5 (Bloomberg) -- Argentina's lower house of congress approved the government's plan to increase taxes on exports of grains and oilseeds, risking a resumption of three months of strikes by farmers. Export Tax That Angers Farmers Advances in Argentina New York Times Argentina lawmakers approve farm export tax hike guardian.co.uk RTT News - BBC News - The Associated Press - AFP all 144 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 22:41:30 GMT Smallest planet shrinks in size - BBC News Canada.com Smallest planet shrinks in size BBC News - Jul 4, 2008 The smallest planet in the Solar System has become even smaller, studies by the Messenger spacecraft have shown. Data from a flyby of Mercury in January 2008 show the planet has contracted by more than one mile (1.5km) in diameter over its history. First Results From Messenger's Mercury Flyby Slashdot Mercury is shrinking, NASA craft finds; a cool clue: 'lobate scarps' Los Angeles Times eFluxMedia - Baltimore Sun - Examiner.com - ChattahBox all 155 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 04 Jul 2008 11:45:26 GMT Ore. man completes flight of fancy _ in lawn chair - The Associated Press The Associated Press Ore. man completes flight of fancy _ in lawn chair The Associated Press - 1 hour ago CAMBRIDGE, Idaho (AP) - Using his trusty BB gun to help him return to Earth, a 48-year-old gas station owner flew a lawn chair rigged with helium-filled balloons more than 200 miles across the Oregon desert Saturday, landing in a field in Idaho. Video: Ore. Man Uses Balloons and a Lawn Chair to Fly AssociatedPress Believe it or not, he's lounging on air The Oregonian - OregonLive.com CNN International - BBC News - KOHD - San Jose Mercury News all 1,071 news articles Publ.Date : Sun, 06 Jul 2008 05:50:31 GMT McCain Battles a Nemesis, the Teleprompter - New York Times New York Times McCain Battles a Nemesis, the Teleprompter New York Times - 7 hours ago Mary Altaffer/AP By MARK LEIBOVICH LAS VEGAS —Senator John McCain was performing relatively smoothly as he unveiled his energy plan. McCain Campaign, in Relaunch, Seeks Tighter Message Focus Wall Street Journal McCain Campaign on Obama and Iraq FOXNews The Associated Press - Washington Post - Los Angeles Times - CNN all 737 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 23:31:52 GMT Hippie Arrests Draw ACLU’s Attention - New York Times ABC News Hippie Arrests Draw ACLU’s Attention New York Times - 6 hours ago By AP CHEYENNE, Wyo. (AP) - The American Civil Liberties Union said on Saturday that it would investigate the actions of federal officers who had arrested five members of the Rainbow Family in western Wyoming during the group’s annual gathering. ACLU plans to investigate Rainbow Family treatment The Associated Press ACLU to investigate Rainbow Family treatment LocalNews8.com WKOW-TV.com - Billings Gazette - cbs4denver.com - Austin American-Statesman all 306 news articles Publ.Date : Sun, 06 Jul 2008 00:40:38 GMT RSS to HTML Increase Traffic

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