Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People?

Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided where possible.

At the time, I did not know I was unconsciously setting myself up for failure. I kept making the same mistakes without even noticing what I was doing wrong.

You may be doing the same thing.

Here are three common mistakes together with tips on how to deal with them:

1. Judging Your Performance Against Unrealistic Standards

Be honest with yourself.

Accept that where you are now in terms of your communication skills is only your starting point - not your finishing point.

And assess your performance and your progress against your typical level of effectiveness. Not against some desired state of perfection or ultimate goal.

Goals are very important as a destination to aim for but do not use long term goals as a standard to judge your current performance against - that is a recipe for disillusionment and massive frustration.

I know. Because I tried it!

2. The Failure To Learn Each Day

As people we can be lazy. This means that a lack of follow through on our goals can go unnoticed. After all we can always catch up some other day.

This attitude will kill your dreams faster than you can spell failure.

When I started to make massive improvements in how I related to people I dedicated myself to becoming excellent.

Once I had proven strategies the rest was easy. I just applied the material each day. I improved each day because I made it a priority and because I committed to applying the material.

Now...

I also know people who learned the same peak performance strategies I learned. Today they are no farther ahead than they were years ago.

How did they pull that off?

By putting it off until another day and by neglecting to use what they had learned. Implementation is crucial.

If you do this your progress is a certainty.

3. Attempting To Be Original

Many years ago I put myself under huge pressure by expecting myself to be original with each person I met.

This is a sure-fire strategy for failure and a great way to get stressed out for no reason.

Guess what I later discovered?

There is no need to be original. You can have the same conversation all day long with different people and nobody will suspect a thing!

People are happy to talk about mundane topics because there is no effort involved.

I have lived or worked in several countries including Ireland, England, Germany, Holland, Spain and the U.S.

And everywhere I have been people are happy to talk all day about:

• the weather

• their children

• the new movie

• the family pet

• the boss

• the traffic

You get the idea!

About The Author

Peter Murphy is a peak performance expert. He recently produced a very popular free report: 10 Simple Steps to Developing Communication Confidence. Apply now because it is available for a limited time only at: http://www.howtotalkwithconfidence.com/report.htm

---

Google News Updated : Wed, 09 Jul 2008 07:08:13 GMT VMware Ousts CEO Diane Greene - BusinessWeek Boston Globe VMware Ousts CEO Diane Greene BusinessWeek - 1 hour ago by Aaron Ricadela VMware ended a long-running battle over its strategic direction on July 8, ousting co-founder and CEO Diane Greene and installing Microsoft veteran Paul Maritz in her place. EMC Replaces the Chief and Co-Founder of VMware, Silencing Talk of ... New York Times VMware CEO abruptly replaced SiliconValley.com Wall Street Journal - Forbes - MarketWatch - San Francisco Chronicle all 361 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 09 Jul 2008 05:13:27 GMT McCain, Obama court Latino group - Los Angeles Times Voice of America McCain, Obama court Latino group Los Angeles Times - 2 hours ago Sen. John McCain addresses the League of United Latino American Citizens in Washington, DC. today. McCain plans to tell the Latino advocacy group that the nation must secure its borders "while respecting the dignity and rights of citizens and legal ... Candidates talk up Latino connections Boston Globe Candidates woo Hispanic group USA Today New York Daily News - Houston Chronicle - San Francisco Chronicle - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel all 500 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 09 Jul 2008 04:56:13 GMT Hunger for victory defines Obama - Financial Times BBC News Hunger for victory defines Obama Financial Times - 2 hours ago By Edward Luce in Washington When Democrats criticise John McCain, they first praise his honourable military record. When Republicans do the same to Barack Obama, many begin by conceding that he is an “attractive and talented candidate”. Video: AP Campaign Minute AssociatedPress McCain, Obama Trade Early Fire in TV Ads FOXNews ABC News - KVBC - The Associated Press - Newsweek all 2,342 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 09 Jul 2008 04:54:07 GMT Cheney's staff censored EPA, ex-official alleges - Boston Globe Washington Post Cheney's staff censored EPA, ex-official alleges Boston Globe - 1 hour ago WASHINGTON - Members of Vice President Dick Cheney's staff censored congressional testimony by a top federal official on the health threats posed by global warming, a former official of the Environmental Protection Agency said yesterday. Cheney’s Office Said to Edit Draft Testimony on Warming New York Times White House in climate change "cover up" Reuters San Francisco Chronicle - USA Today - ABC News - Wall Street Journal all 564 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 09 Jul 2008 05:36:02 GMT Iran test fires long and medium range missiles - Reuters Malaysia Star Iran test fires long and medium range missiles Reuters - 1 hour ago By Fredrik Dahl TEHRAN, July 9 (Reuters) - Iran has test fired nine long- and medium-range missiles, including one which it has previously said could reach Israel and US bases in the region, state media reported on Wednesday. Iran Test-Fires Missile Capable of Reaching Israel (Update1) Bloomberg Iran test-fires Shahab-3 long-range missile RIA Novosti BBC News - Monsters and Critics.com - International Herald Tribune - Jerusalem Post all 347 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 09 Jul 2008 06:02:53 GMT Reiser deal ultimately hinges on judge's OK - San Francisco Chronicle Washington Post Reiser deal ultimately hinges on judge's OK San Francisco Chronicle - 44 minutes ago (07-08) 17:14 PDT OAKLAND -- The defense can ask for a deal in a murder case like Hans Reiser's, and the prosecution can sign off on it, but it's the judge who has the final say. Reiser takes plea deal for lesser sentence San Jose Mercury News My interview with murderer Hans Reiser Salon San Diego Union Tribune - SiliconValley.com - The Associated Press - CNET News all 654 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 09 Jul 2008 06:23:31 GMT Cheesesteaks, troops withdrawals and cigarettes that kill Iranians… - FOXNews Cheesesteaks, troops withdrawals and cigarettes that kill Iranians… FOXNews - 4 hours ago by Mosheh Oinounou PITTSBURGH, PA - Sen. McCain, joined by his wife Cindy, made a previously unannounced visit to the Primanti Brothers Restaurant and Bar, a famous Pittsburgh-area sandwich shop, Tuesday evening for a retail stop-turned media ... Caution: Can Iran cigarette jokes be dangerous to McCain's ... Los Angeles Times McCain jokes about killing Iranians with cigarettes Reuters The Associated Press - Washington Post - ABC News - Tribune Review all 156 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 09 Jul 2008 02:11:13 GMT Automate Your Blogging RSS Parser

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Transform Your Office Into A Powerhouse Of Success

Did you know that the area that you call your... Read More

10 Things I Wish I Would Have Known Before I Went Into the Real World

I must confess, I laughed when I saw that Maria... Read More

The Long Way

I wrote you about four years ago, when my eight... Read More

Its Not What You Think

My work in organizations involves dropping habitual ways of perceiving... Read More

Mailey?s Introspections [Monday, December 6th 2005]

As I work with clients as their introspective Inner Peace/Relationship... Read More

Secrets of Creating Interpersonal Power

If you work with people, as a company owner, manager... Read More

Can You Say No?

As a manager you are constantly being asked to do... Read More

Time Travel

Let me quote something you wrote. "When you reach the... Read More

Corporate Coaching and Employees: One Step Ahead

"Don't shoot... We're on the same side."Contrary to popular belief,... Read More

Are You Controlling or Loving Yourself?

How often do you hear a parental voice in your... Read More

Be Better at Business ? And Lose Weight, Too!

In business, individuals often secure the services of a success... Read More

A Christmas Wish

My sister is a woman now beginning her thirties. She... Read More

Run to Win

I was never much of an athlete growing up. Notoriously... Read More

Is Your Life In Motion?

Ever since the Internet bubble and the 9/11 terrorist attacks,... Read More

Who Are You Mixing It With?

I talk and write a lot about Life Design ?... Read More

Five Steps to Vocational Passion: A Disciplined Plan for Major Mid-life Changes

There's a famous song lyric that asks: "Is that all... Read More

Solution-Focused Therapy

Most types of psychotherapy involve exploring feelings, being validated, finding... Read More

New Developments Make Christian Life Coaching ?The? Career Choice for Work-At-Home Professionals

I have watched for a couple years now, as my... Read More

The Art of Change

We don't change. I imagine such a statement could find... Read More

A Small Piece Of Carpet

Have you ever noticed how the way you feel about... Read More

Avoid the Tendency to Underestimate Your Greatness

As a whole I think there is a sad tendency... Read More

How To Gain Control Of Your Life

"The latter part of a wise man's life," said Jonathan... Read More

Top Ten Things You Would Never Hear a Coach Say (or then again?!)

When coaching, it's all about the client, be that as... Read More

Executive Coaching -The Business Benefits

Executive coaching is an investment for you and your business... Read More

Living In The Now

I hope you are sitting down as you read this!... Read More