Are You Addicted To Your Activities?

Activities - such as sports, creative projects, reading, work, TV, meditation - can be a wonderful way to relax, express yourself, or connect to yourself. Or they can be an addiction. How can you know the difference?

• Angie would surf the channels whenever she felt stressed or alone.

• Karen would lose herself in a book when things felt overwhelming.

• Keith would retreat and meditate when his wife wanted to talk.

• Patty's work schedule left her little time at home.

• Carl spent more time in the garage fixing things than with his family.

• Patrick's love of running was interfering with his family time.

Whether or not an activity is an addiction depends upon your INTENT.

• When the intent of an activity is to avoid the pain of aloneness and loneliness, it is an addiction.

• When the intent of an activity is to avoid the pain of rejection or the fear of domination, it is an addiction.

• When the intent of an activity is to put off doing something you don't really want to do but need to do, it is an addiction.

Whenever an activity is used as a way to avoid something - painful feelings, difficult or boring tasks - it becomes an addiction. It's really no different than using substances such alcohol, drugs, or food to avoid painful feelings or challenging tasks. The problem with using addictions to avoid painful feelings is that the feelings don't actually go away. They are just numbed for the moment but are silently eroding one's sense of self. We can get away with it only for so long before it shows up in some way - illness, divorce, depression, and so on. And avoiding tasks means that the tasks pile up, eventually causing the very stress we want to avoid. Our society is filled with ways to avoid. Yet it is avoidance that leads to the very feelings we are striving to avoid!

When the intent of an activity is to take loving care of yourself by providing yourself with fun, creativity and expression, relaxation, personal growth, spiritual growth, physical health and well-being, then it is a loving action rather than an addiction. It all depends on your INTENT.

Next time you want to participate in your favorite activity, you might want to notice your intent. Do you want to relax and watch TV or are you avoiding some difficult feeling or task? Do you find yourself scheduling more work than you can really handle to avoid dealing with aloneness, loneliness, or conflict with a mate, or are you really loving your work and feeling fulfilled by it? Are you exercising to support your health or to avoid feelings?

Once you become aware of using an activity to avoid, here's what you can do about it:

Welcome the feeling you are trying so hard to avoid. Pay attention to the feeling - fear, loneliness, aloneness, agitation, boredom, anxiety.

Make a decision to learn what YOU might be doing to cause this feeling rather than continuing to avoid it.

Explore what you might be doing to cause this feeling. How are you not taking care of yourself that is causing your painful feeling? Are you procrastinating, judging yourself, or not standing up for yourself in conflict? How are you avoiding responsibility for your own well-being? Are you allowing yourself to be a victim, waiting for someone else to make you feel better?

Once you understand what you are doing to cause your distress, then you need to ask "What would be the loving action for myself?" You are asking this question of your highest self, or of your spiritual guidance if you are connected with a source of guidance. If you open to learning about what is loving, ideas will pop into your mind.

Now you need to take the loving action on your own behalf - complete a task, stand up for yourself and speak your truth with someone, and so on.

Re-evaluate how you are feeling. Are you feeling more peaceful and more powerful? You will feel more peaceful if you have taken the loving action. If you are not feeling better, don't just turn back to your addictions. Look for another loving action until you find what really makes you feel safe on a deep level, not just the temporary pacification of an addiction.

You will find your addictions fading away as you learn to take loving care of yourself.

About The Author

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:margaret@innerbonding.com. Phone sessions available.

In The News:

---

Google News Updated : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:58:10 GMT AMR Plan to Buy 787s Will Update Fleet, Bolster Boeing Program - Bloomberg KING5.com AMR Plan to Buy 787s Will Update Fleet, Bolster Boeing Program Bloomberg - 34 minutes ago By Susanna Ray and Mary Schlangenstein Oct. 15 (Bloomberg) -- AMR Corp.'s American Airlines said it may buy as many as 100 Boeing Co. AMR overcomes fuel costs to squeeze out small profit MarketWatch AMR 3Q Net Down 74%, To Buy Up To 100 Dreamliners CNNMoney.com Bizjournals.com - International Herald Tribune - Reuters - Flight International all 186 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:24:10 GMT Polls: McCain forced to play defense in some red states - CNN Telegraph.co.uk Polls: McCain forced to play defense in some red states CNN - 1 hour ago HEMPSTEAD, New York -- New polls out Wednesday in some crucial states that could decide the race for the White House suggest Sen. John McCain is having to defend himself in areas that once were reliably Republican. Union sues over policy banning political material at polling places DetNews.com Pollsters say odds of McCain winning election 'incredibly remote' guardian.co.uk Boston Globe - New York Magazine - San Francisco Chronicle - AFP all 989 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:34:00 GMT It's officially over: Madonna and Guy Ritchie are divorcing - New York Daily News ABC News It's officially over: Madonna and Guy Ritchie are divorcing New York Daily News - 3 hours ago BY LEO STANDORA Madonna's marriage to Guy Ritchie really is kaput , her rep told the Daily News on Wednesday. "Madonna and Guy Ritchie have agreed to divorce after 7 l/2 years of marrige," Liz Rosenberg said in a statement. Video: AP Exclusive: Madonna, Guy Ritchie to Divorce AssociatedPress It's Official: Madonna And Guy Ritchie To Divorce MTV.com BBC News - The Associated Press - The Gossip Girls - Just Jared all 1,632 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:56:56 GMT Obama’s spending how much on ads? - Christian Science Monitor Times Online Obama’s spending how much on ads? Christian Science Monitor - 1 hour ago By Jimmy Orr | 10.15.08 It’s been a week of non-surprises thus far. Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones has been suspended - again. McCain calls for 'voter fraud' inquiry Los Angeles Times A stolen election? Washington Times New York Times - Talk Radio News Service - Boston Globe - Seattle Times all 859 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:03:33 GMT Hurricane Omar gains strength and nears Puerto Rico - Reuters BBC News Hurricane Omar gains strength and nears Puerto Rico Reuters - 1 hour ago By John Marino SAN JUAN (Reuters) - Hurricane Omar strengthened on Wednesday as it bore down on Puerto Rico and the small islands of the northeastern Caribbean, and could be a "major" storm by the time it reaches them, US forecasters said. Omar on the Move. Paloma Next? Washington Post Blogs Hurricane Omar heads for US Caribbean islands The Associated Press BBC News - United Press International - USA Today - NBC 29 News all 2,556 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:12:36 GMT Jerry Jones exposed as gutless by Goodell's ruling - FOXSports.com TSN.ca Jerry Jones exposed as gutless by Goodell's ruling FOXSports.com - 1 hour ago by Ian O'Connor Ian O'Connor is the author of the New York Times bestseller "Arnie & Jack: Palmer, Nicklaus, and Golf's Greatest Rivalry," which Kirkus Reviews calls an "exemplary sports history. Video: Dallas' Adam Jones Suspended Again AssociatedPress Give Cowboys credit for not counting on Adam 'Pacman' Jones too much Dallas Morning News Los Angeles Times - New York Times - Fort Worth Star Telegram - Detroit Free Press all 1,080 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:52:30 GMT Migraine-hit Janet Jackson to resume US tour - Reuters CTV.ca Migraine-hit Janet Jackson to resume US tour Reuters - 55 minutes ago By Alex Dobuzinskis LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A rare form of migraine forced Janet Jackson to cancel several dates on her Rock Witchu concert tour but she planned to return to the stage on Wednesday in Washington, DC, her manager said. Jackson was laid low by migraines BBC News Janet Jackson: She's Baaaaack* Washington Post Blogs The Associated Press - eFluxMedia - FOXNews - Access Hollywood all 846 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:02:47 GMT RSS to HTML Increase Search Engine Traffic

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

We Are the Five People We Associate with Most

Last month I was invited to participate in a charity... Read More

Helping Relationships: Understanding the Helpee

One of the most distressing observations I have made among... Read More

The Harvest: Shared Power

The fall harvest comes upon us once a year. The... Read More

Coaching - An Adapting Tool For Attaining Fulfillment In The Global Economy

At a time when the global economy is bringing innovation,... Read More

What Dost Thou Speaketh? Hey, Affirm This Way!

Articulating repetitive statements with emotion will inevitably connect you to... Read More

Why Don?t You Just Stuff It ALL?

You got busy at work, got busy in your marriage,... Read More

Why Daily Planning is So Important for Adults with ADD

For adults with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD), details are a... Read More

It?s All To Do With The Way You Wake Up

Do you start your day with anger, frustration and annoyance... Read More

We Are Exactly Where We Choose to Be

The idea for this month's newsletter came from an unlikely... Read More

Gullibles Travels

A journey by a web-footed gull through a sea of... Read More

Priorities: Are You Living Yours?

In the Charles Dickens classic, "The Christmas Story", Scrooge is... Read More

Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 1)

He's been around since the dawn of humanity. His profession... Read More

Tame The Financial Beast

Are holiday bills surprising you? Are you hoping that if... Read More

Coaching: Change Made Simple

Here's a story that I think gets at why we... Read More

4 Ways To Avoid Looking Stupid When Making Small Talk

The fear of saying something silly and feeling embarrassed stops... Read More

Three Great Ways to Deal with Negative People

1. Do not believe everything you hear!With close friends and... Read More

The Right Coach

Who is the Best Coach For Achieving Your Goals?A friend... Read More

Communicating Anger Compassionately

Whether it is irritability or unmitigated rage, anger is an... Read More

How To Give Criticism Without Bruising Egos

As responsible employers, parents, and friends, we have an obligation... Read More

Mentors and Coaches: How to Find a Great Mentor

A career coach or mentor is a person who can... Read More

Success Coaching - What Bill Gates and You Should Have In Common

He was just a teenager, but he was already displaying... Read More

Kabbalah Coach: Love the One Youre With

IntroductionEvery one of us came to the planet to figure... Read More

Live With An Attitude Of Gratitude

Imagine for a moment one of those nights when you... Read More

The Value of Coaching to Support Your Business and Your Life

In our daily lives as well as in our businesses,... Read More

Let Go of Your Past

People have a difficult time letting go of the past... Read More