A Coaching Secret

I've told people for a long time that one of the "secrets" of coaching is forgiveness. Forgiveness takes your finger out of the dyke of the past so you can let the future flow. Buddha said, "forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past." It is an act of total volition, requiring only a softening of the heart. But how do you forgive the unforgivable?

Like millions of Americans, I have been steeped in this paradox. D-Day + 64 was very difficult. Honoring our dead in the midst of our current war heightened this conflict for me. How can I coach people to forgive when I am having difficult in forgiving?

I've talked about this with people who I deeply respect, trust and love. I share it with you. Forgiveness is releasing the bands on your heart that interfere with your moving forward. To forgive behavior is not to condone it. Condoning is like ignoring, looking the other way. Forgiving is allowing you to look without letting your own history interfere. Personally, I can forgive our soldiers for their appalling behavior and continue to work as hard as I can to change this administration.

But here is a totally spiritual view. It is a view that I hold. I come from the notion that the purpose of life ? for each of us ? is to be as close to G_d as possible. So that whenever anything bad happens to us, I hold that we have been given another opportunity to move spiritually closer to G_d. I call it the "find the pencil" theory of the universe. When you get closer you get more and more positive feedback ?"you're getting warm, warmer, hot, hotter." And when you respond otherwise, the universe gives you increasingly negative feedback ? "cool, cold, colder?" So forgiving our soldiers is an opportunity for spiritual growth. You can actually empathize with those you are angry with, because the universe has given them the burden of being that way.

Aside from one cousin, all of my relatives from WWII have passed on. The war exists for me as memory and my experiences as a young boy. I remember going on a train from Brooklyn to Miami and being 'adopted' by a group of soldiers ? a fondly remembered highlight of my boyhood ? And going to Ebbets Field to watch the Dodgers ? I sat in the left field bleachers, right next to the section reserved for the military ? I loved it. I have a photograph of myself at age seven, wearing a full soldier's outfit I love my country.

As I forgive today's unfortunate army, I recover my love, my hero worship and my deep respect for these brave, willing, but unwitting young people. And I grieve for those who have so senselessly died.

Forgiveness works.

Find out more from his website, www.1stClassCoaching.com.

Michael Lipp is a senior coach, with over 21 years experience and an extensive background in leadership, design, management and entrepreneurship.

---

Google News Updated : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 11:50:43 GMT McCain calms supporters, urges respect for Obama - Los Angeles Times The Associated Press McCain calms supporters, urges respect for Obama Los Angeles Times - 2 hours ago 'NO MA'AM': Sen. John McCain takes a question from a supporter who called Democratic rival Barack Obama an Arab at a town hall meeting in Lakeville, Minn. McCain-Palin's hot rhetoric risks GOP backlash San Francisco Chronicle McCain Lauds and Attacks Obama in Same Day New York Times Boston Globe - Washington Post - Minneapolis Star Tribune - Reuters all 460 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 09:04:20 GMT Palin violated ethics law, inquiry concludes - International Herald Tribune Washington Post Palin violated ethics law, inquiry concludes International Herald Tribune - 1 hour ago By Serge F. Kovaleski NEW YORK: Sarah Palin, the Republican vice-presidential candidate, abused her powers as governor of Alaska by pressuring subordinates to try to get her former brother-in-law, a state trooper, fired, according to an investigation ... Palin ethics lapse cited Los Angeles Times Alaska probe finds Palin 'abused her power' Indian Express Baltimore Sun - Boston Globe - New York Times - Reuters all 4,043 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 09:58:28 GMT Morgan Stanley, Goldman May Gain Investment From US Treasury - Bloomberg Wall Street Journal Blogs Morgan Stanley, Goldman May Gain Investment From US Treasury Bloomberg - 7 hours ago By Christine Harper Oct. 11 (Bloomberg) -- Morgan Stanley and Goldman Sachs Group Inc., the biggest independent US investment banks, may reap cash infusions as part of Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson's plan to buy stakes in financial institutions, ... As Stock Falls, Morgan Looks to Japanese Bank New York Times Morgan Stanley hangs on Mitsubishi's $9bn pledge guardian.co.uk Forbes - New York Post - New York Times Blogs - Barron's all 895 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 04:30:39 GMT Stevens's Reputation 'Sterling,' Powell Says - Washington Post Washington Post Stevens's Reputation 'Sterling,' Powell Says Washington Post - 8 hours ago By Del Quentin Wilber Former secretary of state Colin L. Powell told jurors in the corruption trial of Sen. Ted Stevens yesterday that the powerful Alaska Republican had a "sterling" reputation among the nation's military and political leaders. Reporter's Notebook: Powell Takes the Stand for Stevens FOXNews Powell says Sen. Stevens' integrity "sterling" Reuters CNN - Kansas City infoZine - The Miami Herald - ABC News all 2,865 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 03:13:53 GMT Mugabe Hands Ministries to His Party - New York Times Voice of America Mugabe Hands Ministries to His Party New York Times - 52 minutes ago By CELIA DUGGER JOHANNESBURG - In a step likely to lead to the collapse of a painstakingly negotiated power-sharing deal, Zimbabwe's Robert Mugabe, in office for 28 years, has unilaterally declared that his party will retain the most powerful ... Mugabe 'gives Zanu-PF key posts' BBC News Zimbabwe's Mugabe hands key ministries to his party Reuters United Press International - AFP - Aljazeera.net - The Associated Press all 1,687 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 10:57:49 GMT Paulson Indicates Need to Purchase Bank Equity `Soon as We Can' - Bloomberg Ottawa Citizen Paulson Indicates Need to Purchase Bank Equity `Soon as We Can' Bloomberg - 7 hours ago By John Brinsley and Rebecca Christie Oct. 11 (Bloomberg) -- US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson indicated that pumping government funds into banks is a priority and said financial markets will remain volatile. US to buy shares in struggling banks Los Angeles Times Obama welcomes Paulson plan to buy equity in firms Reuters MarketWatch - International Herald Tribune - Bizjournals.com - Washington Post all 2,114 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 04:21:05 GMT Thai protest leaders released on bail, vow new rallies - AFP GulfNews Thai protest leaders released on bail, vow new rallies AFP - 20 hours ago BANGKOK (AFP) - Leaders of Thai anti-government protests were granted bail Friday after surrendering to police and immediately vowed new rallies, raising fears of mounting turmoil days after deadly street clashes. Video: Raw Video: Tear Gas Fired at Thai Protestors AssociatedPress PAD leaders surrender to Thailand police United Press International The Associated Press - Washington Post - New York Times - International Herald Tribune all 2,495 news articles Publ.Date : Fri, 10 Oct 2008 15:31:03 GMT Datafeed Software Amazon Tool

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Coaching: Change Made Simple

Here's a story that I think gets at why we... Read More

Greasing the Path to Success: Finding the Confidence to Step Up to Key Moments

Whether it's making a prospecting call to a promising business... Read More

The Power of Online Memberships

Have you ever noticed geese flying overhead, whether that be... Read More

Invest Your Inner Wealth

It started out like any other Wednesday - reports to... Read More

Take Responsibility for Reshaping Your Life

We say we want to eat better, feel better, and... Read More

What You See is What You Get

H. Jackson Brown Jr. once wrote, Your mind can only... Read More

Run to Win

I was never much of an athlete growing up. Notoriously... Read More

Are You Worth Investing In?

Do you realise that if you're green you're growing and... Read More

The Biggest Loser

I am a "Loser". You're gonna learn from this writing... Read More

Words That Inspire - PEACE

WORDS THAT INSPIREA monthly quick shot to motivate you, in... Read More

Ten Ways to Make New Years Resolutions That You Can Actually Keep!

Are you one of the millions of people who make... Read More

Coaching May Be For You

Are you looking for someone who will hold you accountable... Read More

You Can Get There From Here

But first you've got to raise your standards.I know at... Read More

Help! I Need to Make a Decision!

Many people who come to my office say they have... Read More

Coaching Prime Time

An awful lot of fantastic coaching has been coming out... Read More

5 Keys to Powerful Communication

As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family... Read More

Use a Journal for Self-Discovery and Self-Expression

As a therapist, I often suggest to clients that they... Read More

Media Underload! The Stress Reducing Psych-Diet

The war, taxes, the economy, increased health problems, crime on... Read More

Avoid the Tendency to Underestimate Your Greatness

As a whole I think there is a sad tendency... Read More

Dont Settle

Settling is about not embracing what is best for you,... Read More

Dont Be Jealous - Be Inspired

When we see people do things we cannot do, or... Read More

4 Ways To Avoid Looking Stupid When Making Small Talk

The fear of saying something silly and feeling embarrassed stops... Read More

Burn-Out ...Whats Next?

If you feel the heat of burn-out, it is possible... Read More

Change vs Transition

"There is a time for departure, even when there's no... Read More

Get Out What You Put In!

During a recent coaching session with Mark, I was briefly... Read More