5 Keys to Powerful Communication
As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family coaching, it is critical to develop strong and clear keys for communication. How many times have you been faced with a difficult feeling or occurrence that you are reluctant to discuss with your partner? You probably thought, "If I just don't say anything, I can get past it"?
The problem is most of us can't get past it. It simmers and swells until we near our boiling point. Finally, we explode. The problem has magnified itself beyond rational conversation. From this miscommunication comes a personal, relational and emotional mess.
I have developed, tested and proven 5 very critical keys to effective and powerful communication. First, you and your partner must give each other permission to discuss your feelings and issues that arise between yourselves. This is very difficult for most people. Why? It requires respect for yourself and your partner. You must have a non-defensive and non-judgmental environment, free from hidden agendas and defenses. Forming this connection will help you to see the others perspective and create a constructive environment.
After we have created this new and trusting environment, the next four keys will challenge and guide you to process information using a new method of constructive communication. Create a new standard and process for yourself (LTRR). What is LTRR?
LTRR, the code to creating and shifting perspective:
Listen- We hear but we are not listening. When we disagree with someone or something, we tend to begin to formulate our reactive response long before the speaking has ended. Take time to listen to all of the information or view.
Think- Process the information you received; all of it. Try to appreciate their perspective. What are the strengths and weaknesses of this perspective? Is it morally acceptable to me? How does this fit or clash with my perspective.
Reframe- Ask yourself questions to help you get clear on a new or different perspective. A question such as; what is your perspective on this that is giving you trouble? What perspective could I take from this that would lead to a more empowered position?
Respond- Finally it's time to respond. Notice that it doesn't say react. Respond implies thought and reasoning. Organize your thoughts and your perspective. Share it with others.
Try it. It will be difficult at first and you'll be dying to react, but don't. Personally, I utilize a 7 second rule. I don't respond to new ideas and perspectives until 7 seconds after the person has finished speaking. At first, I had to consciously remind myself; listen, think, reframe, and respond. Now, it just happens. It will just happen for you too.
Communication is a learned skill that requires continuous development and practice. The more we apply these tools, the better we become at utilizing these skills. Just simply giving each other permission to have hurt feelings, ask for specific outcomes and communicate our needs can produce amazing results.
Anthony Mullins is the President and Life Coach for The Elite Coaching Alliance. He specializes in marriage, relationship and family,christian based coaching. He is the author of the upcoming book "Your Extreme Life Makeover". He can be reached by e-mail: anthony@elitecoachingalliance.com or by phone at 770.587.3545. Visitour new websitehttp://www.elitecoachingalliance.com
 Google News Updated : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:58:10 GMT Jerry Jones exposed as gutless by Goodell's ruling - FOXSports.com
FOXSports.com - by Ian O'Connor Ian O'Connor is the author of the New York Times bestseller "Arnie & Jack: Palmer, Nicklaus, and Golf's Greatest Rivalry," which Kirkus Reviews calls an "exemplary sports history. Video: Dallas' Adam Jones Suspended Again Give Cowboys credit for not counting on Adam 'Pacman' Jones too much Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:52:30 GMT Hurricane Omar gains strength and nears Puerto Rico - Reuters
Reuters - By John Marino SAN JUAN (Reuters) - Hurricane Omar strengthened on Wednesday as it bore down on Puerto Rico and the small islands of the northeastern Caribbean, and could be a "major" storm by the time it reaches them, US forecasters said. Omar on the Move. Paloma Next? Hurricane Omar heads for US Caribbean islands Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:12:36 GMT Migraine-hit Janet Jackson to resume US tour - Reuters
Reuters - By Alex Dobuzinskis LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A rare form of migraine forced Janet Jackson to cancel several dates on her Rock Witchu concert tour but she planned to return to the stage on Wednesday in Washington, DC, her manager said. Jackson was laid low by migraines Janet Jackson: She's Baaaaack* Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:02:47 GMT Obama’s spending how much on ads? - Christian Science Monitor
Christian Science Monitor - By Jimmy Orr | 10.15.08 It’s been a week of non-surprises thus far. Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones has been suspended - again. McCain calls for 'voter fraud' inquiry A stolen election? Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:03:33 GMT Polls: McCain forced to play defense in some red states - CNN
CNN - HEMPSTEAD, New York -- New polls out Wednesday in some crucial states that could decide the race for the White House suggest Sen. John McCain is having to defend himself in areas that once were reliably Republican. Union sues over policy banning political material at polling places Pollsters say odds of McCain winning election 'incredibly remote' Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:34:00 GMT AMR Plan to Buy 787s Will Update Fleet, Bolster Boeing Program - Bloomberg
Bloomberg - By Susanna Ray and Mary Schlangenstein Oct. 15 (Bloomberg) -- AMR Corp.'s American Airlines said it may buy as many as 100 Boeing Co. AMR overcomes fuel costs to squeeze out small profit AMR 3Q Net Down 74%, To Buy Up To 100 Dreamliners Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 17:24:10 GMT It's officially over: Madonna and Guy Ritchie are divorcing - New York Daily News
New York Daily News - BY LEO STANDORA Madonna's marriage to Guy Ritchie really is kaput , her rep told the Daily News on Wednesday. "Madonna and Guy Ritchie have agreed to divorce after 7 l/2 years of marrige," Liz Rosenberg said in a statement. Video: AP Exclusive: Madonna, Guy Ritchie to Divorce It's Official: Madonna And Guy Ritchie To Divorce Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:56:56 GMT Increase Online Traffic |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... Seeking improved performance at work? Wishing you could finally achieve... Read More There are things that we do automatically internally that we... Read More Randall sought my help because he was stuck being miserable... Read More We live in a world of rapid change and uncertainty.... Read More I've been through a couple of checklists in the past... Read More As the title states, "Become an Information Filter and a... Read More He's a very successful sales manger who craves results. He... Read More Use all of your brain to be your most effective."Running... Read More As the last day of school arrives I feel the... Read More I heard a story recently, and wanted to share it... Read More There are two kinds of peoples we generally face in... Read More As responsible employers, parents, and friends, we have an obligation... Read More Coaching has become a very popular way for people to... Read More Do you know an individual at work who is a... Read More Our bodies are made of pure energy. With Quantum physics... Read More When you invest your time in being a mentee you... Read More One of my clients gave me permission to tell you... Read More As a healthy business owner or independent professional, how do... Read More A coach is an essential figure in providing direction and... Read More It takes less effort to keep an existing customer than... Read More "Fortune befriends the bold." - John DrydenI regularly work with... Read More Most people have no idea where their money goes. They... Read More Here's a story that I think gets at why we... Read More Imagine stepping into the gym for the first time in... Read More Some time ago I attended a birthday party and met... Read More
Adsense
websites
5 Tips to Improve ANY Performance
What Rules!
Addiction to Thinking
Life Coaching for Success and Fulfilment
Strategic Checklists
Becoming An Information Filter And A Knowledge Sponge
Coaching for Results
Automatic Brain Works Overtime For You
3 Tips for a Great Summer - Developing Life & Business While Having a Blast
Its Story Time! - Find the Power Within, or The Truth About Dogs
Think, Pause & Talk
How To Give Criticism Without Bruising Egos
Choosing The Right Coach
Success at Work : People Skills : Complaining
Seeing Your Energy At Work
Mentors and Coaches: How to Be a Great Mentee or Learner
What is the Success Lesson in this Story?
An Easy Way to End The Year
What I Would Include In A Coaching Book
Nourishing Your Network
Getting What You Need: Ask For Help!
How to Get a Grip on Your Money
Coaching: Change Made Simple
What Is A Personal Trainer
Unleash Your True Potential
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
The Enchantment of Tribes to Belong To
I am remembering and have a desire to share with... Read More
Why Therapy Fails Sometimes
I saw a couple for marriage counseling this week, and... Read More
We Are Exactly Where We Choose to Be
The idea for this month's newsletter came from an unlikely... Read More
Personal Strategic Planning
I have a few questions for you ---What if we... Read More
Relaxation Couldnt Be Simpler
Many people use their sofa and TV to help them... Read More
Why a Coach is NOT a Consultant
Often while talking to people about my coaching practice I... Read More
Context is King!
If you've been around the Internet for more than two... Read More
Success at Work : People Skills : Complaining
Do you know an individual at work who is a... Read More
Executive Coaching
The higher you climb the ladder in this organization, the... Read More
Top Ten Reasons to Hire a Personal Coach
Have you considered hiring a personal coach? Jack Canfield, in... Read More
Transform Your Office Into A Powerhouse Of Success
Did you know that the area that you call your... Read More
Value Based Leadership Coaching
What can I do to be a better coach? The... Read More
Can I Be My Own ADD Coach?
Quite often I am in contact with people who discuss... Read More
Moment of Magic
Laughter may or may not be a shock, relieved, but... Read More
Developing Will Power and Self Discipline
Most people admire and respect strong individuals, who have won... Read More
Where to Begin?
January is the king of months for those looking to... Read More
Become More Self-Confident
Signs of Self-ConfidenceLet's explore the meaning of self-confidence by taking... Read More
Discover The Coach Within You
One of the three basic roles of leadership is the... Read More
Are You Controlling or Loving Yourself?
How often do you hear a parental voice in your... Read More
A Live It
Real change happens only when it becomes part of our... Read More
Dare To Be Inconsistent, Lopsided, And Totally Courageous
I was talking to one of my coaching clients and... Read More
Good, Good, Good, Good Intentions
I always do a lot of thinking about good intentions... Read More
Freedom for All; Is it Possible?
Freedom for all species and people, and freedom of stress;... Read More
How to Make $100,000 Dollars as a Personal Trainer ? Part A for Attitude!
My name is Greg Ryan. For the last twenty years... Read More
Could You Be A Workaholic?
If you need to put on boots and grab a... Read More
Coaching |