Fear of Being Outsourced? Fight Back
Me, outsourced? Impossible. How could they replace a business-humor columnist? But my brother-in-law, the radiologist, told me his hospital was threatening to cut his position because they had found a medical group out of India that would read MRIs at half the cost.
He warned me, "Hesh, don't be so smug. No one is indispensable in today's world economy."
He was right. I had become blas. I needed to diversify and find readers outside the USA, especially in the booming call-centers of India.
Do Indians find our business customs humorous? I decided to do some research. I called the IBM help desk. I asked the technician where he was located. He said "Birmingham, Alabama," and he said it with pride.
I asked for his boss. I told her that I wanted to be helped by someone in Bombay. "What? I usually get the opposite requests," she blurted out.
I told her that I found their staff people in India to be more helpful and courteous. And I found their English easier to comprehend compared to the southern accents from Birmingham.
Within seconds, I was talking to Bombay. After spending a few minutes on a fictitious problem, I asked my help-support person what he found humorous about working with Americans.
He said, "Sir, it would be inappropriate for me to comment on you Americans and your business practices."
I kept on digging. "You must be frustrated spending eight hours a day listening to us Americans. How do you blow off steam?
He suggested I call a business radio talk show in Bombay where the locals call in with their problems of working with westerners. It was called "Can I Speak to your Supervisor, Please."
Using my computer I was able to find a real cheap Internet-phone line to Bombay, and I called. The radio show's producer doubted my veracity when I told him I was calling from the USA. He thought it was a crank call. But when he listened to my accent - half Pittsburgh and the other half Brooklyn - he knew no Indian could impersonate that dialect.
He reminded me to use only my first name, when being interviewed. The talk show host began, "Our next caller is a Mister Hesh from the USA. We are very lucky to have an overseas caller. Welcome to our show."
"What is it about doing business with Americans that you find most intriguing or disconcerting?" I asked.
"A great question," the talk show host realized he had an issue that could generate some controversy. "Mr. Hesh, why not hold on as we let our callers respond."
The first caller began, "Mr. Hesh, you Americans have such a childish belief system. You expect every problem to be solvable. Our culture has taught us the inevitability of misfortune. I want to say to callers, 'Sorry, Mrs. Grady, your hard drive is forever broken and can never be repaired. Please unplug it and grieve for the next 10 minutes.' But, I am not allowed."
The second caller said. "We are obligated to try to sell you a software upgrade with each call. We think that this is very inhospitable. In our culture when someone calls for help, one must never try to gain an advantage from another's adversity. But we are taught that this is what makes you Americans so wealthy."
The producer asked me to call again. He had dozens of local callers waiting to talk to me. Before I knew it I was a radio personality in India with my own morning business call-in show.
Now, I visit India almost twice a month. I am a regular commentator on their TV morning shows and a sought-after lecturer at business conferences.
The travel back and forth is brutal even in first class. Plus, because of the time difference I have to be wide awake from 2 a.m to 5 a.m to take the calls from my audience. Why I am actually considering moving to India permanently.
Somehow the governor found out about my impending move (I bet it was from my mother) and he called asking that I not take my business overseas. It would be a terrible loss to our region's image.
He had funds to help businesses keep jobs here. I would qualify for an economic-development grant if I did not relocate. I guess it is like paying farmers not to plant corn. (Do they still do that?)
I called my brother-in-law with my good news, and said, "I told you going to medical school was a poor career choice. You should have majored in English, like I did."
Hesh Reinfeld writes a syndicated business humor column. You can read additional examples of his columns on his website: http://www.heshreinfeld.com Or contact him at hesh1@comcast.net
 Google News Updated : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 17:50:53 GMT This week in Apple: New notebooks, new writers, and more Woz - Ars Technica
Ars Technica - By Jacqui Cheng | Published: October 11, 2008 - 09:30AM CT This week's most-read Apple news was all over the map, but in a good way. Don't Buy A Mac Laptop* Apple may launch new laptop Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 14:43:05 GMT Marriage ruling not the end of debate in Conn. - The Associated Press
The Associated Press - HARTFORD, Conn. (AP) - Now that the Connecticut Supreme Court has ruled same-sex couples have the right to wed, opponents of gay marriage are pinning their hopes on an infrequent ballot question in a longshot bid to block the unions. Video: Connecticut Court Allows Gay Marriage Conn. Ban On Gay Marriage Reversed Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 16:41:18 GMT GM Is Said to Be in Preliminary Talks With Chrysler (Update2) - Bloomberg
Bloomberg - By Jeff Green Oct. 11 (Bloomberg) -- General Motors Corp. is in preliminary talks with Cerberus Capital Management LP's Chrysler LLC about a possible merger or other partnership, people with direct knowledge of the talks said. Source: Chrysler, GM discuss merger, acquisition GM mulled Chrysler acquisition: Huh? Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 15:39:15 GMT Obama Aims for Electoral Edge, Block by Block - New York Times
New York Times - Lukas McGowan is focused on getting voters out on Election Day. “Once we register them,” he says, “that’s only half the job. Obama thanks McCain for remarks, presses attack FOX News poll: Obama leads McCain Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 17:21:34 GMT Stevens's Reputation 'Sterling,' Powell Says - Washington Post
Washington Post - By Del Quentin Wilber Former secretary of state Colin L. Powell told jurors in the corruption trial of Sen. Ted Stevens yesterday that the powerful Alaska Republican had a "sterling" reputation among the nation's military and political leaders. Reporter's Notebook: Powell Takes the Stand for Stevens Powell says Sen. Stevens' integrity "sterling" Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 03:13:53 GMT Palin hammers Obama on the abortion issue in Johnstown - CNN
CNN - (CNN) -- Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin took her message to voters in the battleground state of Pennsylvania on Saturday, lashing out at Sen. Barack Obama for his views on abortion. Palin drubs Obama on abortion during Pa. rally Palin Gets Personal On Abortion Issue Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 17:06:21 GMT Nobel Peace Prize winner wants jobs for the young - International Herald Tribune
International Herald Tribune - AP HELSINKI, Finland: Nobel Peace Prize winner Martti Ahtisaari said Saturday that finding jobs for more than 1 billion young people in the Middle East and Asia will be a major challenge to peacebuilding in the next decade. Ex-President Of Finland Is Awarded Peace Prize Nobel Finn Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 13:12:07 GMT Display RSS Feeds on Your Website |
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