The Legend of Juggin Joe - A Preview of the Comedy Sensation You Dont Want to Miss!

THE FROGGIN INCIDENT

As I recall this particular happenin', which we all referred tah as the "Froggin Incident", it all started out innocent enough. T'were on a pleasant summer Saturday gatherin at Doc an' Isabel's. The folks that had come tah call wuz enjoyin some mighty fine music an' vittles an' a couple swallers now an' then ah some "Pick Me Up". This particular day Isabel had cooked up a mess ah frogs legs. I don't know about flatlanders, but as all hill folks know, they ain't nothin quite so tasty as a fine batch ah fried frogs legs, an' Isabel's were first rate that afternoon. Sets muh mouth tah waterin jes' thinkin on 'em even tah this day.

I can't recall how old Joe musta been around that time, but he weren't taho big, jes' a nubbin underfoot really, but Lord how that boy could put down them frogs legs. He would snatch them right off ah yer plate if yah weren't watchin close, like the world's supply ah frogs wuz dwindlin fast an' he were determined tah get his share afore they disappeared altahgether. 'Course he'd get his han' slapped on occasion an' a scoldin but never taho bad, cause truth be tahld, who could blame 'im? As I say, Isabel's frogs legs were considered some ah the best in the county.

When the last ah them legs wuz ate, young Joe looked about heart broke. There wuz still plenty ah other good snackin vittles around, like hush puppies an' corn dodgers, some chicken gizzards an' fried fish an' sech, but in Joe's mind, nothin else would do. He had the taste fer frogs legs an' that wuz all there wuz tah it. He set tah squallerin somethin fierce till Isabel had about as much as she could stahmach ah it. "Joe" says she, "If yah want frogs legs, I reckon yah best git yerself down tah the cow pond early next Saturday afore I git tah cookin, an' bring us on back as many as yah reckon yah can eat. Fer now, I want yah tah hush up yer mouth, an' I'll hear no more 'bout it this day."

Now lookin back on it, they mightn't ah been the best choice ah words fer Isabel tah use with Joe, cause as I done already tahld yah, when Joe got an idea fixed in 'is mind, it lodged itself in, right sound an' proper. Then an' there I reckon, Joe thought ther weren't enough frogs in the world tah sate his appetite, but he were goin tah give it 'is best tah find out one way er the other.

The week drifted by, an' next Saturday mornin' come as expected. Doc an' Isabel had once agin tahld folks they wuz more'n happy tah have 'em drop by, which wuz agreeable tah all. I muhself showed up kinda early tah help Doc haul some jugs down from the still, an' tah provide some quality control assurance afore ever'one else got there, if'n yah catch muh drift.

Usually young Joe wuz right there along with his paw, on mornins sech as this, tryin tah help as young'uns will, an' generally bein' more'n a hindrance than a help, but we wuz used tah him bein' around. This particular Saturday though, there weren't nary a sign ah Joe tah be found. Doc didn'a seem concerned about 'is youngest son's absence. Doc tahld me that Joe'd got up afore the first light that mornin', an' wuz out the door tah the sound ah the cock's crow.

We knowed ther weren't no way that Joe would miss the weekly gatherin, so there weren't no reason fer worry, though I did miss the little fella, an' I reckon Doc did taho. It were unusual, but not unheard ah, fer him tah be off on some childish adventure on a Saturday mornin an' I couldn'a help wonderin what idea had poked itself intah the boys head this time. 'Course me an' Doc had fergot what Isabel done tahld that young'un the week afore, but young Joe hadna fergot one bit.

By the time we got the jugs down from the still, Isabel had covered the old plank table that sat off in the yard with a cloth an' started tah set some vittles on it. The other Yakel young'uns had brought out the old chairs that wuz kept jes' fer this purpose, an' scattered 'em about the yard fer the folks tah relax in. All that wuz lackin wuz the company, an' that commenced arrivin straight off. I reckon it were about an hour past noon time with folks in the yard talkin. Those with an extra large appetite wuz munchin away, yers truly included. A bachelor's gotta take advantage ah fine vittles when he can.

The boys wuz startin tah warm up ther instrements when I happen tah catch sight ah Joe headin on intah the house, luggin a great big ole burlap bag that seemed tah be filled up tah a size pert near as big as Joe hisself. He wuz a strugglin with it considerable, an' I could see it were an open question tah who wuz controllin who, but he finally managed tah get the whole thang on intah the side door.

Upon reflectin on the sight fer awhile, I reckoned that it mightn't hurt tah mention tah Isabel that her young'un wuz up tah somethin, an' so that's jes' what I done. She, upon hearin the boy wuz back, an' inside the dwellin' no less, set off intah that house like a fox on the run, knowin Joe the way she did.

I don't reckon it were more'n a minute passed when the commotion started. The screen door flew open an' out come Joe, a runnin an' hollerin like the Unholy Hellion, an' 'is maw Isabel trailin' right behind. Now this in itself weren't sech an unusual sight, an' hardly called fer comment by those witnessin the event, but it did silence thangs down purty good. Ever'one wuz wonderin what Joe coulda done this time tah git the fire in his maw stoked so fast.

Now it so happens that the Parson Sheperd, jes' the week afore, had done a sermon on Moses an' the Pharaoh an' the troubles that the Lord let down on Egypt cause ah ther wicked ways, which, as yah might recall, included amongst other thangs, a plague ah frogs. I can remember at the time a hearin that how I thought it were a kinda comical idea, an' hardly fittin as an act ah the Lord as what harm could a mess ah frogs do anyhow? But when I wandered on over tah the open front door an' see'd what wuz inside, well sir, I tahok tah quick unnerstandin' ah what kinda trouble that there Pharaoh had with Moses.

Turns out that Joe had spent all them hours gatherin up ever frog that must ah lived in that derned pond. There wuz big ole gran'daddy bullfrogs, an' little bitty peepers, an' ever size an' shape ah frog in betwixt. The boy wuz a right good frogger an' he proved it that day, but I don't allow Isabel counted that tahward his credit, leastwise not at that particular moment.

Ther musta been hundreds ah frogs in that house, jes' a hoppin ever which way, an' makin theyselves right tah home. I reckon Joe wuz bringin 'em all tah his maw in ther natural state fer her tah cook up, an' hadna considered that it might be more prudent tah do the prepatahry work afore he lugged 'em all in.

Anyhow, about the time Isabel walked in tah see what Joe wuz up tah, the bag had proved taho much fer the lad tah maintain, an' it got away from 'im, spillin its contents ontah the floor. Those captive hoppers saw ther chance fer freedom an' done tahok it right quick. Joe 'parently tahok a look at his maw's face, an' likewise drawed the conclusion that this wuz his chance tah depart right quick. He scooted on past her afore the shock done wore off, headin fer the hills as fast as his legs would take 'im. Isabel wuz a quick witted woman, but the sight ah all them frogs scatterin themselves throughout her house gave Joe a couple ah seconds head start afore she could regain her sensibility an' take off after 'im.

I jes' praised the Lord that day I hadna mentioned tah her that I might ah stahpped Joe fer he got in the house with his cargo er I might a been right 'long side Joe skedaddlin it down the road with Isabel hot on muh trail as well, hickory switch in han', an' bent on terrible justice. Even now, if'n she reads this here narrative, I reckon I'll still catch a peck ah hell fer it, as I don't spect that she ever quite got over the whole episode tah this day.

By the time Isabel come back, holdin Joe by the ear an' a lecturin him fer all he wuz worth, with emphasis laid on by a switch, we had tried tah gather up all the frogs we could an' clear the house ah 'em right proper. We had done a fair job ah it, but the mountain dew already consumed, along with the fits ah laughter that would catch hold ah us, weren't a helpin the effort one little bit. On tahp ah which, those frogs had already been caught once that day an' were determined not tah let it happen agin. I don't know if we gathered as much as we scattered but it were the thought that count. Leastways that's the way I saw it, though Isabel an' Doc didn'a seem tah share the sentiment a'tall.

Even Doc, who generally could han'le most anythin', wuz fired up considerably fer quite a spell. He tahld me it wuz weeks afore he could lay down in 'is bed er git up in the night without wonderin if somethin slimy wuz a gonna git squashed underneath 'im. I reckon frogs underfoot is worse than young'uns, an' a squashed frog must be a terrible mess tah clean up in the house.

An' ah course, there wuz the problem ah them frogs that crawled off tah outta the way places tah meet ther maker. Lord, yah couldn'a walk in that house fer quite a spell without an unappealin odor sorta sneakin up on yah, which caused Isabel no end ah embarrassment.

Poor Joe, I reckon he caught a whoopin 'bout ever'time another frog wuz found in the house fer a week an' maybe more. What's even worse wuz Isabel didn'a take taho kindly tah all the good natured kiddin that come her way, an' she refused tah make frogs legs the rest ah the summer. Which jes' goes tah show the irrationality ah women, cause when yah think about it, how much more convenient could it ah got fer her, what with all those frogs hidin out right there in 'er own house? An' she done tahld Joe he could fetch as many as he thought fit anyhow.

An' that's the great Juggin Joe frog gatherin stahry which is still talked about up in the hills even untah this day, but not in the presence ah Isabel though. Doc's temperament softened up eventually, an' he even saw the humor in it, but maybe not as much as the rest ah us.

Joe still loves them frogs legs, an' Isabel got back tah preparin 'em on ocassion, but after that episode, she was plum clear in her discussion with Joe 'bout exactly how many frogs he could catch in the pond, an' left no doubt in anyones mind that they wuzn't gonna be brought back intah the Yakel household agin.

For the rest of this rip-roarin story, pick up your copy of "The Legend of Juggin Joe", ISBN 1-4116-2588-9, at www.lulu.com/yakel

Joseph Yakel is a freelance writer and author of three books. His articles have appeared in numerous publications and Internet websites since 1998. He describes "The Legend of Juggin Joe" (Copyright and published in March 2005) as a 'country boy comedy/melodrama' delivered with a writing style he dubs 'unconventional'. Joe categorizes his two other works as 'slightly more serious' genealogy books. The Autograph Memories of Mary Yakel (Copyright and published in December 2004) is a 19th century memoir, and The JACKEL, JECKEL, JAECKEL, IEKEL, YAKEL Family History Book (Copyright and publsihed in March 2005) is a family chronology, tracing 350 years of his Rheinish ancestry. Joe's books are available at http://www.lulu.com/yakel and he welcomes author interview requests at armeuv1@yahoo.com

---

Google News Updated : Thu, 16 Oct 2008 02:44:32 GMT Paramount to release fewer films, cut 25 DreamWorks employees - Los Angeles Times stv.tv Paramount to release fewer films, cut 25 DreamWorks employees Los Angeles Times - 46 minutes ago By Claudia Eller, Los Angeles Times Staff Writer Looking to cut overhead and operating expenses after the recent departure of DreamWorks co-founder Steven Spielberg, Paramount Pictures plans to release fewer films, consolidate operations and slash 25 ... Spielberg back in fold Financial Times Paramount cuts films, jobs Straits Times New York Times - AZ Central.com - Bizjournals.com - Reuters all 42 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 16 Oct 2008 01:58:16 GMT FCC report: White space devices work as "proof of concept" - Ars Technica CNET News FCC report: White space devices work as "proof of concept" Ars Technica - 3 hours ago By Nate Anderson | Published: October 15, 2008 - 06:08PM CT The FCC's Office of Engineering Technology has released its long-awaited technical report (PDF) on "white space" prototype devices, and the conclusion comes right up front: "At this juncture, ... FCC Chairman backs use of "white space" spectrum CNET News FCC Gives Whites Spaces a Boost New York Times CRN - NetworkWorld.com - The Associated Press - Wired News all 271 news articles Publ.Date : Wed, 15 Oct 2008 23:12:55 GMT Omar grows into Category 2 hurricane in Caribbean - The Associated Press BBC News Omar grows into Category 2 hurricane in Caribbean The Associated Press - 1 hour ago CHRISTIANSTED, US Virgin Islands (AP) - Heavy rains and winds pummeled St. Croix on Wednesday as the outer edge of powerful Hurricane Omar drenched the island, stranding motorists on flooded roads and forcing workers to shut down a giant oil refinery. Video: Hurricane Omar Nears Caribbean Islands AssociatedPress Omar Strengthens in Caribbean, Aims at Virgin Islands (Update4) Bloomberg United Press International - Washington Post Blogs - Bradenton Herald - Beaumont Enterprise all 2,958 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 16 Oct 2008 01:42:51 GMT Feds investigate failure of Washington Mutual - International Herald Tribune ABC News Feds investigate failure of Washington Mutual International Herald Tribune - 33 minutes ago AP SEATTLE: Federal authorities said Wednesday they have opened an investigation into the failure of Washington Mutual Inc., the largest bank failure in US history. Federal Investigators to Examine Washington Mutual New York Times Washington Mutual's Failure Under US Investigation (Update2) Bloomberg Reuters - Wall Street Journal - Seattle Post Intelligencer - ABC News all 87 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 16 Oct 2008 02:10:47 GMT Maddon Sticks to ‘Plan,’ Giving Ball to Kazmir - New York Times National Post Maddon Sticks to ‘Plan,’ Giving Ball to Kazmir New York Times - 33 minutes ago By JOSHUA ROBINSON BOSTON - Tampa Bay Rays Manager Joe Maddon has always disliked last-minute adjustments. So when he threw the Boston Red Sox a curveball on Wednesday by announcing that he was changing his Game 5 starter, Maddon said it was always ... Rays will go with Scott Kazmir in Game 5 Los Angeles Times Rays continue Cinderella story Newsday The Star-Ledger - NJ.com - MLB.com - Tampabay.com - SI.com all 718 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 16 Oct 2008 02:11:08 GMT McCain, Obama get personal in final debate - The Associated Press Washington Post McCain, Obama get personal in final debate The Associated Press - 41 minutes ago HEMPSTEAD, NY (AP) - John McCain told Barack Obama to his face Thursday night, "You didn't tell the American people the truth" about a key campaign pledge as the two presidential rivals slung accusations at close quarters in the final debate of their ... McCain, Obama tussle over backing Bush’s policies Reuters Obama Widens Lead as Americans See `Serious' Crisis (Update2) Bloomberg TIME - Wall Street Journal - Austin American-Statesman - ABC News all 775 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 16 Oct 2008 02:02:37 GMT As Rays Come of Age, Torre Likes Their Look - New York Times Vancouver Sun As Rays Come of Age, Torre Likes Their Look New York Times - 33 minutes ago By TYLER KEPNER LOS ANGELES - For the first 10 years of their existence, when they never won more than 70 games in a season, the Tampa Bay Rays faced Joe Torre more than any other manager. Rollins leads off Game 5 with homer MLB.com Rollins, Phillies lead Dodgers in Game 5 of NLCS The Associated Press USA Today - WDTN - Philadelphia Daily News - Washington Post all 325 news articles Publ.Date : Thu, 16 Oct 2008 02:11:08 GMT RSS For Web Pages Web Site Traffic

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

Amapola - Book Review

Alan Heywood writes a stimulating, though sometimes improbable, adventure novel... Read More

The New Art of War, Tactics, and Power

To rise and flourish in the world, you need to... Read More

Kmarts Ten Deadly Sins - AchieveMax® Top Ten Book Review

Kmart's Ten Deadly Sins: How Incompetence Tainted an American Icon... Read More

The Hushed Willow - A review by Amanda Evans

The Hushed Willow by Lorna Joy Knox nee Ramsamugh is... Read More

Book Summary: Secrets of Word Of Mouth Marketing

Spread the word about your hot new product or company!Word-of-mouth... Read More

Reality Checked - Book Review

Reality Checked ? Life through Death, is a moving saga... Read More

Product Review: Quick and Easy Ways to Instantly Mine Pure Gold from WordTracker

The other day I was surfing the net looking for... Read More

The Letter Writer: Book Review

"I enjoyed reading this book. The characters were portrayed very... Read More

Please Don?t Just Do What I Tell You, Do What Needs to Be Done - AchieveMax® Top Ten Book Review

Please Don't Just Do What I Tell You, Do What... Read More

Stewie Griffin Depicts the Winter of Spenglers Discontent

Oswald Spengler predicted a protracted winter in The Decline of... Read More

Book Summary: Effective Networking For Personal Success

We are all "self-employed" now.Today there is absolutely no job... Read More

E-books in Your Life

E-Books are making a big impact in the way we... Read More

How Would You Move Mount Fuji? - AchieveMax® Top Ten Book Review

For a number of reasons, today's hiring managers from Wall... Read More

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince - A Review

If writing was a religion, it shall be easy to... Read More

Druxel Manor - Book Review

"Druxel Manor is a stimulating thriller-mystery-romance novel that keeps the... Read More

Your Flight Questions Answered

Whether you are an experienced air traveler or a novice,... Read More

Mathew and the Highland Rescue - Book Review

"A stimulating adventure! Sabine Muir has written a wonderful children's... Read More

Giving Feedback or Writing Reviews of Bad Stuff

Some book reviewers say that when they don't like a... Read More

Her Backyard: Book Review

Her Backyard by Doreen Lewis is an adventure, romance novel... Read More

Product Review: Affiliate Mistakes Special Report

In his ebook "Affiliate Mistakes Special Report," Chuck McCullough teaches... Read More

Life Lines

Joyce Meyers has been inspiring Christians for decades with the... Read More

IZEE Growing Up In A Logging Camp: Introduction

IntroductionRusty Miles never had a real identity. I was that... Read More

Jesus and the Gnostic Cathars

These are some of the highlights of a connected story... Read More

Geeks & Geezers - AchieveMax® Top Ten Book Review

Geeks & Geezers: How Era, Values, and Defining Moments Shape... Read More

Book Summary: The 17 Indisputable Laws Of Teamwork

To achieve great things, you need a team. Building a... Read More