The Metrosexual Male vs. The Cowboy - What Do Women Want?
He always looks perfectly put together. He can be in a t-shirt and jeans or heading out to a black-tie event. His hair never has a bad day. His nails are clean and buffed. His clothes are perfectly pressed and exquisitely coordinated. He smells like flowers and spice. Is he gay? No, he's the new metrosexual man.
As many of you know by now, the term "metrosexual" was coined by a journalist (and gay man) named Mark Simpson, to describe a new kind of urban male who is straight, but in touch with his feminine side and not afraid to show it. Essentially, metrosexuals are guys who take on behaviors and show an interest in things that have traditionally belonged in the female domain.
You may have a metrosexual brother, male friend or boyfriend (ex). These are the guys you can shop till you drop with. They can discuss fashion, will notice your great new shoes, buy their grooming products from the same places you do and have no qualms about having a manicure, pedicure or facial. You can actually TALK to these guys about something other than sports, cars and other traditionally male interests. These are the guys you can take to the opera, symphony and ballet. The perfect man, right? Depends on whom you talk to.
Let's step back a minute and look at the where and how of the existence of the metrosexual man. Simply put, he is a by-product of feminism and the changing roles and related expectations of women. As women have moved into (previously) male dominated environments and roles, it has caused a shift in the male-female balance. Women are now active participants in industry, politics and the professions- to name a few. However, as they have left their old jobs as homemakers and full-time domestic caregivers, they left a lot of empty space to be filled. Childcare providers and the domestic cleaning industry could provide some of this. The problem was all the "other" stuff women had always done.
Men were therefore called upon to contribute more to the raising of children, housework, cooking, shopping, etc. Their sons were being exposed a new role model, a dad who took on jobs and chores that had traditionally belonged to mom. Young boys themselves were also being tapped to do housework and help with siblings, exposing them to a new way of being a male in our society. Women had become more independent and financially and professionally successful. Men had become more domestic and had to soften their style as they moved into more traditionally feminine roles.
A new social order had evolved that worked for everyone, right? Not necessarily. We never take on something new without giving something up. So, what has been discarded? Clearly defined social roles and the expectations that come with them- for starters. Suddenly there was a new blueprint for how men and women should relate- especially in the world of dating. However, it was unclear and depending upon whom you asked, you would get a different answer. Usher in the confusion and frustration surrounding dating in the new millennium.
Women ask questions such as:
* who asks who out
* who calls who
* who pays
* who makes decisions about where to go, etc.
* What are the expectations at the end of the date
* how soon should we become intimate
Women comment on:
* his lack of initiative in calling or asking her out
* his expectation that they will go dutch
* how he never offers to pick her up
* his overall lack of assertiveness
* his saying he will call, but not following through
* his too polished style which lacks a certain spark of masculinity
* his taking longer to get ready than she does
* his crudeness or over aggressive style
* his expectation that they will have sex
Men ask questions such as:
* what do women want
* why should a guy have to ask a girl out
* why should the guy always pay
* why do women say they want sensitivity, etc., but see guys like that as wimps
* why do women give out such mixed signals in general
* why do women seem to reject nice guys and go for jerks
* why can't a woman be the aggressor
Men comment on:
* women acting spoiled
* women wanting their independence, etc. but not wanting equal responsibility and weight
* women expecting a lot from men, but offering little in return
* women not knowing what they want
* women playing games
* women's attraction to "bad boys"
Both women and men verbalize that they are ok with the current roles that have evolved for them in our society, yet I hear both talk wistfully about how it was in previous generations. Back then; everyone KNEW what was expected from him or her. Life was predictable. Dating was much simpler and "safer". Men were men and women were raised to be wives and homemakers. We have gained something and we have lost something. One thing for sure, we can never have it both ways.
What's the answer? It is never simple. However, it does involve better communication in general between men and women. Singles need to clarify for themselves (first), what kind of partner they seek and what their expectations from a relationship really are. Once a person is clear about what they must have and what they can't live with, they need to go out and HONESTLY seek that. Knowing what you want is good. If you turn off someone by your frankness, he/she was not the someone for you.
So, begin with a self-assessment. Then go out and pursue interests and environments, which maximize your chances of meeting compatible singles. And remember, there is no perfect person. He may be overly fussy with his hair, take longer in the bathroom than most women, be less ambitious in his work life than you are and put your cooking to shame. However, if he's sensitive to YOUR needs, easy to talk to and fun to be with, great with kids and very supportive of your goals, he may be the guy of your dreams.
Toni Coleman, MSW is a licensed psychotherapist and relationship coach with over 20 years of experience. As a recognized expert, Toni has been quoted in many local and national publications including: The Chicago Tribune and The Orlando Sentinel newspapers and Family Circle, Woman's Day, and Star magazines. She has been featured on ABC News; Discovery Health Channel and AOL Online. As a weekly contributing commentator on the KTRS Radio Morning Show, (St. Louis, MO), Toni offers dating tips and relationship advice in response to listener feedback. Toni founded Consum-mate.com in 2002 to offer singles the knowledge and tools they need to find and sustain healthy, lasting love relationships. She is a member of The International Coach Federation, and The International Association Of Coaches.
 Google News Updated : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 17:51:10 GMT "Chihuahua" bites Crowe, DiCaprio at box office - Reuters Reuters - LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The new terrorism thriller "Body of Lies" failed to take the top spot at the weekend box office in North America on Sunday, becoming the latest victim of moviegoer aversion to movies dealing with Middle East intrigue. 'Chihuahua' still has bite in second weekend at box office ‘Body’ Talk, Baby Talk Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 16:19:10 GMT Spotlight on Apple notebooks: 1989 to 2008 - CNNMoney.com
CNNMoney.com - On Tuesday, Oct. 14, Apple will unveil the latest addition to a long line of portable computers that dates back nearly 20 years - to the ungainly, 15.8-pound “Macintosh Portable” that PC World named the 17th worst technology product of all time. This week in Apple: New notebooks, new writers, and more Woz Don't Buy A Mac Laptop* Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 15:23:15 GMT Obama Gains in States Such as Iowa, Florida Give National Boost - Bloomberg
Bloomberg - By James Rowley and Kristin Jensen Oct. 12 (Bloomberg) -- Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama is moving ahead in a series of new polls from Florida to Iowa, gains that are helping him maintain a national lead over Republican John McCain. Video: Kids Vote On Campaign '08 Newsday poll: Obama has double-digit lead on Long Island Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 15:51:54 GMT Stem cell promises, obstacles remain four years after bill's approval - San Jose Mercury News San Jose Mercury News - EDITOR'S NOTE: This is first of a two-part series examining the progress and potential pitfalls in California's $3 billion stem cell research program. Researchers find easier way to make stem cells New method generates stem cells safely from mice Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 16:34:39 GMT Lisa Marie Presley delivers twins: report - Reuters
Reuters - LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Lisa Marie Presley, Elvis Presley's only child, gave birth to twin baby girls on October 7, celebrity news TV show "Entertainment Tonight" said on its website on Saturday. Twin girls for Lisa Marie Presley Lisa Marie Presley Welcomes Twin Girls Publ.Date : Sat, 11 Oct 2008 17:17:01 GMT US-POLITICS Summary - Washington Post
Washington Post - WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Democrat Barack Obama has opened a 6-point lead over Republican rival John McCain in the US presidential race, according to a Reuters/C-SPAN/Zogby poll released on Sunday. John McCain and Sarah Palin try new tactics Pittsburgh Paper Picks Obama, Pans on McCain/Palin Ticket Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 15:22:18 GMT Texas new No. 1 in coaches poll after wild college football weekend - USA Today
USA Today - By Eddie Timanus, USA TODAY The date won't quite live in infamy, but college football followers should remember Oct. 11, 2008, for a long time. Kansas fails to move up in polls Texas grabs top ranking in AP Poll Publ.Date : Sun, 12 Oct 2008 17:18:35 GMT Amazon Associate Feed |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... As I connect with more and more women I am... Read More What I am about to tell you will take a... Read More Have you heard yourself or others say: "This has shown... Read More In my private practice for the past 15 years I... Read More We are often asked to tell our life-story. I wasn't... Read More Have you ever been really sure about something, only to... Read More I wish you never have to go through that kind... Read More So, the thing is? we reap what we sow.A few... Read More Our feelings are perceived by means of our sensors, our... Read More There are numerous sources on the store bookshelves and the... Read More "Slowly, slowly, walk the path and you might never stumble... Read More How many of us have ever felt that we've thrown... Read More See if this scenario sounds familiar. You're under a lot... Read More Abundance isn't something you find from the outside. Abundance begins... Read More Peter Murphy recently interviewed communication expert John Barker. John is... Read More Would you like to get lucky? There are at least... Read More 'Have I stopped dreaming?' 'Why am I not as stressed?'... Read More Your Total Image is made up of several essential components:?... Read More I'd like you to do an exercise with me.I want... Read More Good Morning! It's the Island outlaw here again. You know... Read More The power of the mind draws certain events, circumstances and... Read More What can you do to really immerse yourself into living... Read More Sometimes many of us feel like we've made deposits into... Read More Whose life are you living? Are you living your dream... Read More Love. You may notice that I made that an entire... Read More
Adsense
websites
Heal Thyself First
The Laws of the Universe
If Something Shows Up 3 Times, Is That a Sign That Its Right for Me?
What is the Life Your Were Born To Live?
Telling Your Story of Success
How to Escape Out of Thought Traps?
Discover the Magical Power of Pulling Heartstrings ...Its Mindblowing!
So, The Thing Is... We Reap What We Sow
Electrical Deficiencies
The Universal Law of Attraction Never, Ever Goes On Strike
The Way of Attraction - Walking the Path
What Love and Money Have in Common
Emotional Alchemy
Ten Ways to Add Abundance To Your Mind, Your Life & Your World
Communication Expert Reveals 5 Keys To Self Expression Without Limits
How To Get Lucky
Guiltless Contentment
Create a Climate for Success by Mastering Your Total Image - Part 1
Do You Have Tickets To Your Dream Theater?
Paradigm Shift
The Magnetic, Attracting Power of the Mind
Five Ways To Create On Purpose By Living In The Moment
What Does the World Owe You?
Whose Life Is It Anyway?
When Will Love Find me?
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
100 Ways to Keep Your Lover ? Happy ? At Home!
Here are over 100 ideas to help you keep monogamy... Read More
Doing Your Lifes Work
Most people want to do their life's work. Some people... Read More
How Anyone Can Manifest Anything!
My mother taught me how to teach others about the... Read More
The Journey to a State Called Authentic
Sometimes when I refer to the Authentic Self, I receive... Read More
4 Important Conversation Tips for Your Personal and Professional Lives
If you are searching for a way to improve your... Read More
How To Invite Positive Change In Your Life
Gnothi seauton,, said Socrates. "Know thyself."These words remain as true... Read More
Blushing
Blushing can be a curse. Blushers experience a range of... Read More
Be Specific
Are you having a difficult time pinpointing what you want... Read More
How to Better Improve Your Life Through the Power of Change
I am a physicist by education, and a practical business... Read More
Use Your Vibrations of Energy to Communicate Part 2
"The speed of electromagnetic energy signals is 186,000 miles per... Read More
Searching for Higher Ground: 24 Hours to a Better Life
There's a moment in one of my favorite films, Searching... Read More
Write Goals, Say Prayers, and See Your Successful Future
Would you like to have more success in your life?... Read More
Birthing Your Dream
Are you ready to birth a dream and not sure... Read More
Motivation for Life: What Would You Do if You Could Have a Do Over?
"The only thing it takes 365 days to change is... Read More
Bigger Fish To Fry
Last month I was on another adventure, fishing Dog Lake... Read More
The Inner Critic Unveiled
Watch your thoughts; they become words.Watch your words; they become... Read More
Seven Truths of Universal Law
Truth To Live By:What truths do you live by? Are... Read More
Taking Charge of Your Inner Movie
I first heard about this when I read The New... Read More
Why These Berkeley Scientists Were Baffled!
Breakthrough Scientific Research on the Amoeba And Why You Must... Read More
What Did I Do? Will Someone Tell me?
There are many systems, psychology analyzes and personality typing in... Read More
Would You Rather Be Wealthy?
Would you rather be wealthy or poverty-stricken? Not a difficult... Read More
Follow Your Passion
The key to a successful life lies in following your... Read More
Yes You Can
If you could change one thing in your life today,... Read More
Communication Expert Reveals 5 Keys To Self Expression Without Limits
Peter Murphy recently interviewed communication expert John Barker. John is... Read More
The Art of Perfecting the Life
First of all, you have to trust that you are... Read More
Attraction |