Other Peoples Opinions

In a society where interaction is part of everyday life, and other people form a vital part of life, other people's opinions are actually important in where we fit into society. However, we often think we know what other people are thinking and base our actions around those 'apparent' opinions.

Yet how do we actually know whether our assumptions about other people's opinions are true or not? Frankly, we don't. This is where the Fundamental Attribution Error comes in. To put it into plain Engligh, it means that we make a basic error in assuming other people's thoughts without checking or otherwise knowing whether we are right or not in that assumption.

We base these assumptions on our schema of the world (another Psychology term which means a system of beliefs we have about how the world works from how to order food in a restaurant to how we 'should' live our lives). These schema are made up from our experiences in the world, with some schema being made up from other people's schema which we have picked up along the way: such as our parents' and friends' schemas.

Now mostly, these errors are fairly harmless: it is when we start living our lives entirely around what we think other people are thinking that it can become 'dangerous'. Many people fall into the trap of becoming practically obsessive about what other people are thinking of how we behave that everything that we do becomes subject to what we think other people are thinking.

So how do you stop being like that? First thing to do is to recognise when you are making these assumptions and when they are patently false, and put some kind of system in place to prevent yourself from getting caught up in the negative cycle. One useful technique is the Emotional Release technique taught in the Sedona Method where you can quicly overcome the obsessive nature that can sometimes come from the error. Another way is to understand why you have the schemas you do and to change them: often they are out of date and are not actually helpful (as they are supposed to be). They are also linked to the 'gremlins' (if you're British you might know the term from the recent spate of adverts on TV advertising education) - but that's a future article. Fundamentally though, to overcome harmful errors, it is all about understanding when you make them and stopping them spiral out of control.

Charlotte Burton is a Licensed Career Coach & Psychometric Assessor. For more information and to sign up for the ezine, view the website at http://www.lifeisvital.com or email charlotte@lifeisvital.com to request your complimentary consultation.

---

Google News Updated : Sun, 06 Jul 2008 00:55:15 GMT SAfrica's Mbeki meets Zimbabwe's Mugabe - Reuters SAfrica's Mbeki meets Zimbabwe's Mugabe Reuters - 1 hour ago By MacDonald Dzirutwe HARARE, July 5 (Reuters) - South African President Thabo Mbeki met Zimbabwean President Robert Mugabe on Saturday to try to help end a political crisis after a violent election that extended Mugabe's 28-year rule. Germany's Merkel hopes for African leaders' support on Zimbabwe ... International Herald Tribune South African president arrives in Zimbabwe Xinhua Voice of America - guardian.co.uk - AFP - The Associated Press all 5,770 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 23:04:03 GMT Jesse Helms, former senator, conservative icon, dies - Newsday Wall Street Journal Jesse Helms, former senator, conservative icon, dies Newsday - 2 hours ago Jesse Helms, the former five-term US senator from North Carolina whose relish for thwarting initiatives he opposed as too liberal earned him the nickname "Senator No," died Friday at age 86. Video: A Look Back At Jesse Helms CBS NC Senator's Hard-Line Conservatism Helped Craft Republican Social ... Washington Post Wall Street Journal - San Jose Mercury News - Boston Globe - Dallas Morning News all 2,466 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 21:58:21 GMT A Side Competition in Beijing: Island vs. Mainland - New York Times CTV.ca A Side Competition in Beijing: Island vs. Mainland New York Times - 8 hours ago The Taiwanese Olympic table tennis team practicing at Kaohsiung. Taiwanese players have hopes of winning medals next month in a sport China has dominated. Taiwan media, business people welcome charter flights, mainland ... Xinhua South Africa: Country Should Take Heed of Taiwan's Errors AllAfrica.com Monsters and Critics.com - International Herald Tribune - Wall Street Journal - BBC News all 883 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 16:16:20 GMT California's priority wildfire in check -- for now - Reuters AFP California's priority wildfire in check -- for now Reuters - 2 hours ago By Jim Christie SAN FRANCISCO, July 5 (Reuters) - Firefighters in California have fended off a blaze threatening more than 3000 homes in and around the coastal town of Goleta and are turning their attention to preventing its spread toward the nearby ... Video: Wind Keeps California Wildfires Raging AssociatedPress California's Wildfires Have Scorched 527000 Acres (Update3) Bloomberg Los Angeles Times - AFP - NECN - San Francisco Chronicle all 910 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 22:04:28 GMT Obama mixes holiday and politics in Montana - Reuters Boston Globe Obama mixes holiday and politics in Montana Reuters - 4 hours ago By John Whitesides, Political Correspondent BUTTE, Montana (Reuters) - Democrat Barack Obama mixed presidential politics with parades and barbecue on Independence Day on Friday, celebrating his daughter's birthday with a picnic and fireworks in Montana ... Play of the Day: Malia Obama's "best birthday" The Associated Press On the Road: Montana Outtakes New York Times FOXNews - Los Angeles Times - Washington Post - New York Daily News all 755 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 20:13:58 GMT France's Sarkozy Questions If ECB Rate Increase `Reasonable' - Bloomberg France's Sarkozy Questions If ECB Rate Increase `Reasonable' Bloomberg - 6 hours ago By Simon Kennedy July 5 (Bloomberg) -- French President Nicolas Sarkozy recommenced his criticism of the European Central Bank today, asking it was ``reasonable'' for it to have raised the region's key interest rate this past week. Fighting Inflation, Europeans Raise Rate New York Times Euro flat after post-ECB dip MarketWatch istockAnalyst.com - Reuters - Forbes - Wall Street Journal all 1,857 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 18:50:48 GMT Argentine Lower House Passes Grain Export-Tax Plan (Update3) - Bloomberg Aljazeera.net Argentine Lower House Passes Grain Export-Tax Plan (Update3) Bloomberg - 2 hours ago By Eliana Raszewski July 5 (Bloomberg) -- Argentina's lower house of congress approved the government's plan to increase taxes on exports of grains and oilseeds, risking a resumption of three months of strikes by farmers. Export Tax That Angers Farmers Advances in Argentina New York Times Argentina lawmakers approve farm export tax hike guardian.co.uk Voice of America - AFP - BBC News - The Associated Press all 138 news articles Publ.Date : Sat, 05 Jul 2008 22:41:30 GMT Datafeed Software Amazon Associate Store

PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts, Websites, and more...

Adsense websites

If You Want Others to Like You, Like Yourself First!

Many of us mistakenly believe that it's wrong or conceited,... Read More

How Do You Treat Others?

When others are angry with you, loving to you, critical... Read More

The Metrosexual Male vs. The Cowboy - What Do Women Want?

He always looks perfectly put together. He can be in... Read More

Great Communication Skills

Having good communication skills in the workplace is important. This... Read More

Change Thorns into Flowers

If you had to write an annual appraisal on yourself... Read More

Overcoming Underearning ? Recognizing the Problem and Taking the First Steps Towards A Solution

Underearning is a process of not really making enough to... Read More

What are You Creating?

Before you left school, did any of your teachers sit... Read More

The Laws of the Universe

What I am about to tell you will take a... Read More

Just Allow? But How?

If you've been practising the Law of Attraction, then you're... Read More

100 Ways to Keep Your Lover ? Happy ? At Home!

Here are over 100 ideas to help you keep monogamy... Read More

Aspirations Worth Their Weight in Platinum

"To succeed, planning alone is insufficient. One must improve as... Read More

A Mini LOA T-ToolTM

The Law of Attraction T-ToolTM is the single most useful... Read More

Tiger and the Three Pigs

After years of terrorizing the countryside, hunting deer, poaching livestock,... Read More

Better Than a Million Dollar Lottery Win

Do you remember the feeling of seeing someone you were... Read More

A Sweep of Vanity: How To Burst Your Own Bubble

"Hoy-day! What a sweep of vanity comes this way!" --William... Read More

The Wealth-Receiving Mindset

Here is an exercise for you that will develop what... Read More

To Be A Cut Above The Rest!

Mannerisms and personality traits go a long way in making... Read More

Coping As A Caregiver

Few people are prepared for the responsibilities and tasks involved... Read More

Who is Directing You?

Recently I had the opportunity to meet a long term... Read More

The 3 Steps To Communication Mastery

Although you know better, you do not apply all that... Read More

Telling Your Story of Success

We are often asked to tell our life-story. I wasn't... Read More

How to Better Improve Your Life Through the Power of Change

I am a physicist by education, and a practical business... Read More

Emotional Alchemy

See if this scenario sounds familiar. You're under a lot... Read More

What Image Are You Projecting?

I want you to think about something for a few... Read More

Change The World

It is becoming clear that the way a country or... Read More