New Age Torture
I'll admit it ... I'm a spiritual tramp. I've spent the last few years slutting around, looking for a cure for all my aches and pains. So far the only thing I seem to have cured is my curiosity. This morning, as I rose from my bed, feeling worse than ever, I found myself summing up the total experience of my New Age Vision Quest with one Monty Python line: "Nobody ever expects the Spanish Inquisition!" For like the Spanish Inquisition, the goal of New Age Therapies is to get you to confess -- for instance -- you're lying on a table, all blissed out, and then suddenly some healer, with a gentle voice sticks a needle attached to an electrode in between your front and second toe, mumbles something about "activating the Chi in your angry liver" and then walks away with a sadistic chuckle telling you"it's all right to scream if you want" while recalling painful childhood memories.
For all of you that are not familiar with the many New Age Tortures out there let me demystify the magic behind some of these healing practices:
Cranio-Sacral Therapy: A healer bids you to lie down on a white-sheeted table. Time to relax? Mais, non. It is time for the Spanish Inquisition! After explaining that the bony plates in your skull are not unlike the shifting tectonic plates beneath the earth's crust, causing all manner of nervous upsets, migraines and general unwellness, the healer cradles your head in his hands and begins to squeeze and squeeze and squeeze until you feel just like Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With The Wind, (in that scene where Clark Gable tries to physically squeeze the memory of Ashley Wilkes out of Vivian Leigh's head.) While the healer has your head in his vise-like grip he will urge you to confess some deep, dark memory of hidden child-abuse or forgotten head injury (like the time you banged your head on the sharp corner of the coffee table when you were six years old,) When you don't confess, the healer rebukes you by sighing and acting generally disappointed and requests that you come back for another appointment.
Aromatherapy: "Smell this eucalyptus!" beseeches the pretty aromatherapist. "And these geranium, rose and orange oils." If you pour these scents into this one hundred and fifty dollar aromatherapy diffuser I'm about to sell you, I promise you'll be back in two weeks to tell me how much better you feel!!. Unfortunately, I must confess that my place now smells like a whore house in Morocco and I still don't feel any better!
Positive Affirmations: This is a New Age torture that you can do to yourself in the privacy of your own home! All you have to do is repeat to yourself again and again, a positive affirmation such as "Every day in every way I am getting better and better." until all other thoughts of unwellness are eclipsed by this one excellent statement. I must confess, that after a few weeks of reciting this again and again that I feel that "every day in every way I am getting more and more repetitive."
Rolfing: "Oh, goody. Time for a pleasant, relaxing massage" you think as you enter the pleasant office of the professional Rolfer. No. It is time for the Spanish Inquisition! The next thing you know, the Rolfer has jammed his long sinewy fingers deep into your joints, right into the bones and is pulling, squeezing and stretching every sinew of your tissue out of alignment. You feel like each of your limbs as been tied to four horses which are about to run in different directions and while this is happening the Rolfer beseeches you to confess, to cry out, to laugh, to release verbally any memory which has been lurking deep inside your muscular tissues. Soon, you find yourself just making stories up, about the time you were molested by your hillbilly cousin, just to appease the cruel monster if only this torture would please, just, stop. ALL right! I CONFESS! THIS HURTS! Just please make it stop...
Samantha Steven's articles have been published in many high-standing newspapers and she has published several books. If you wish to buy Samantha's books about metaphysics click here http://www.insomniacpress.com/author.php?id=1 10 You can meet Samantha Stevens at http://www.psychicrealm.com where she works as a professional psychic. You can also read more of her articles at http://www.newagenotebook.com
 Google News Updated : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 08:08:57 GMT "Stand Up to Cancer" tops Friday ratings - Reuters
Reuters - By Paul J. Gough NEW YORK (Hollywood Reporter) - The industrywide "Stand Up to Cancer" telethon averaged a modest 10.3 million viewers during its hour-long simulcast on ABC, NBC and CBS Friday. In a star-heavy telethon, Hollywood takes a stand on cancer 'Stand Up to Cancer' Raises $100M Plus Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:37:28 GMT New Zealand compromises on India nuclear deal - Xinhua
Xinhua - WELLINGTON, Sept. 8 (Xinhua) -- The New Zealand government said on Monday that it got the best deal it could on nuclear trade with India. Indian shares rise more than 4 pct early Indian rupee rises as stocks rally seen Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:36:42 GMT Fla. Keys residents weigh evacuation ahead of Ike - The Associated Press
The Associated Press - KEY WEST, Fla. (AP) - As a ferocious Hurricane Ike ripped across Cuba, residents from Key West to the Gulf Coast watched the storm's unpredictable path, worrying it could hit anywhere in the US from Texas to Florida. 'Hurricane fatigue' shows Louisiana still possibility for Ike Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:20:42 GMT Store eases baby bottleneck - Chicago Tribune
Chicago Tribune - When Georgette Finnie e-mailed What's Your Problem? on Aug. 25, she was 9 months' pregnant with her first child. The expectant mom had done some research about the baby bottles she had received as gifts through her baby registry at Babies "R" Us. Hot Docs: Defending Georgia, Girls Married by 15, the Chemical BPA ... That Plastic Baby Bottle Publ.Date : Sun, 07 Sep 2008 12:18:53 GMT Hurricane Ike Crosses Northeast Cuba After Landfall (Update1) - Bloomberg
Bloomberg - By Aaron Sheldrick and Demian McLean Sept. 8 (Bloomberg) -- Hurricane Ike is crossing Cuba after smashing into the northeast of the country with winds of 205 kilometers (125 miles) per hour, according to the US National Hurricane Center. Video: Raw Video: Ike's Harsh Impact on Turks and Caico Hurricane Ike set to batter Cuba Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 06:56:09 GMT McCain Leads Obama 50% to 46%, New Poll Finds, USA Today Reports - Bloomberg Bloomberg - By James Kraus Sept. 8 (Bloomberg) -- Republican presidential candidate John McCain leads Democratic contender Barack Obama by 50 percent to 46 percent among registered voters, according to a weekend USA Today/Gallup Poll, USA Today reported. Convention rejuvenates GOP US campaign sharpens as McCain takes poll lead Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:38:07 GMT Persistence pays off for Serena at US Open - FOXSports.com
FOXSports.com - by Matt Cronin, Special to FOXSports.com NEW YORK - About nine days after Serena Williams lost in the Wimbledon final to her elder sister, Venus, she was still killing herself, unable to shake her mind of the errors that came late in a contest that she ... Williams beats Jankovic for title, No. 1 ranking Winning US Open never gets old for Serena Williams Publ.Date : Mon, 08 Sep 2008 07:38:21 GMT Increase Website Traffic |
PARLOT::Ebooks, Scripts,
Websites, and more... Thyme is a herb that has been cultivated for centuries... Read More Are you looking for tips on stopping smoking? And would... Read More As the old saying goes, are you "a picture of... Read More Ask someone their reason for getting a massage and you're... Read More Have you ever noticed when you remember something pleasant in... Read More Herbs used in traditional Indian medicine to treat diabetes seems... Read More Pollution is generallyy defined as the release of harmful environmental... Read More It is relatively well known now that exercise releases endorphins... Read More Air purifier filters are not always the answer to air... Read More Most doctors don't ask you about your regularity. They may... Read More Some people say that prevention is better than cure. That... Read More Migraine headaches must be one of the great equalizers that... Read More The 8 That Are Produced in Your BrainWhen you're in... Read More One little-thought-of application for hypnosis is to help people stop... Read More Almost two years ago, before the release of my first... Read More Modern medical science has not been able to produce a... Read More "Neuropathic" means nerve damage and refers to nerve pain. So... Read More Brewer's yeast can help to ease, reduce, or clear your... Read More Bleeding gums can be one sign of periodontal disease, gingivitis,... Read More The rose is perhaps one of the most powerful symbols... Read More Pendulum Dowsing is a very fun and simple way to... Read More The New Age should also be called The Stone Age,... Read More The most common objection to alternative medicine from conventional physicians... Read More Known by its other name as Lily of the Valley... Read More What's best?Whenever we are about to invest money, whether it... Read More
Adsense
websites
Thyme: Elegance Drifting Through the Ages of Time
Some Tips on Stopping Smoking
How To Find Your Way To Healthy Longevity
Fitness-related Benefits of Massage
Mental Anchors
Herbal Medicine for Diabetes
Lead Poisoning in Environment and Our Children
How To Improve Your Mood And Health With Deep Breathing Exercises
Why Air Purifiers Are Not Always The Answer To Indoor Air Quality Problems
How Many Bowel Movements Should You Have Each Day?
Hemorrhoids Remedy: Practical Diet Tips, Toilet Habits And Exercise To Prevent Hemorrhoid Symptoms
Migraines Are The Great Equalizers
If Youre Unhappy with Your Pain Relief Meds, Heres a Whole New Class You Havent Tried
Hypnosis Cures For Nail Biting
The Writer As Activist
Genital Herpes - Natural and Alternative Treatment Remedies
Nerve Pain: Try Using Visualizations And You May Get Some Relief
How Brewer?s Yeast and MSM Clear Constipation
Bleeding Gums
A Rose is Not Just a Rose
Pendulum Dowsing: Easy To Learn Techniques
Precious Gems of Wisdom
Is Alternative Medicine Proven to Work?
Muget Des Bois: A Healing Victory
Hypnosis CDs vs One-to-One Treatment
Affordable and Reliable Web Hosting Starting at $4.49/Month
The Healing Power of Water Gardens
If you experienced a day filled with running from one... Read More
Chelation and Clathration
Chelating is the process of removing toxic materials, metals and... Read More
The Truth About Dandelions!
Dandelions are not weeds! They are wild vegetables. In Greek... Read More
How the Subconscious Reasons When It Communicates With You About Pain Relief
The subconscious is a strange creature. It doesn't know what... Read More
Toddler Stuttering
Some parents have the shock of hearing their young child... Read More
Quit Smoking With Nature?s Help
Smoking is very dangerous to your health. Most smokers feel... Read More
Hypnosis, Hypnotherapy, Hypnotism, and the Truth about the Funky Chicken!
Over two hundred years after this momentous event the world... Read More
Bring Peace and Serenity to Your Life Through Hypnosis!
Hypnosis: It happens to everyone, young and old, in everyday... Read More
Organic Living - Whats That?
Hmmm ? what does organic living mean ? I like... Read More
Suffering from Osteoarthritis? Acupuncture to the Rescue
Keeping in tune with our commitment to providing the latest,... Read More
How to Use Herbal Salves & Ointments to Shrink Your Hemorrhoids
Comfrey Herbal SalveHere is an herbal combination that contains herbs... Read More
Serotonin Kills Pain ? And May Be Available From Your Subconscious
Serotonin is not just for depression--it's potent for pain relief... Read More
Medical Alert Jewelry: A Life Saving Fashion Statement
No one really wants to be labeled as "different." And... Read More
5 Ways to Deal With ADHD
With an increasing number of our youths suffering ADHD, stress... Read More
Honey! Natural Treatment for Gum Disease
There is quite a bit of talk going on about... Read More
Starbucks Green Tea Frappachinos, Can They Prevent Cancer?
Starbucks now offers the Green Tea Frappachinos, yes I had... Read More
Setting Up Your Office For Health
If you work and are spending one third to one... Read More
How Visualization Is Different from What You May Have Tried for Pain Relief
You've probably tried everything you can think of to ease... Read More
Herbal and Home Remedies that Prevent Memory Loss
Even a single family member who is senile or afflicted... Read More
Traditional Chinese Medicine
Traditional Chinese Medicine, over 2000 years old, is an ancient... Read More
Aromatherapy ? Part III: Esoteric & Spiritual applications
The Way Essential Oils Effect the Etheric Body or Psycho-spiritual... Read More
Aura and House Clearings - Rid Your Space of Unwanted Energies
Aura and space clearing can be accomplished in a number... Read More
Herbs and Essential Oils ? Powerful Medicine
We can find many beneficial uses for natural herbs and... Read More
Fitness-related Benefits of Massage
Ask someone their reason for getting a massage and you're... Read More
Reduce Asthma And Breathe Free
Asthma can be a serous and often frightening condition that... Read More
Alternative Medicine |